POLL - Homer Hierarchy

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  • 02-09-2006
    cutthroat
    POLL - Homer Hierarchy
    OK - so I've been lingering here long enough to know that certain Homers have more "status" than others - dispense with the "equality of the internet" BS for now. Who ya gonna call (or trust)? when it comes to what fork goes best on the Spot, which rockers fit on which frames, wheelsets, hopey dampers - you all know what I mean. I think it's time Homer Town recognized its true leaders - the top three - the Techie, the Enforcer, the Jester. Airwreck - can we do a poll? How about the OUTCAST? I post my votes now:

    The Good:
    Techie - Tscheezy (no explanation necessary)
    Enforcer - 'Zilla (don't mess with the Chocolate Thunder)
    Jester - Cactus (who else has that touch on the keyboard?)
    Snob/Poseur Royale - Squeak

    The Bad:
    OUTCAST - Davide (it's still a draw)

    The Ugly:
    Skankiest Troll - Dusty
  • 02-09-2006
    Single Track MTBer
    I voted for Cactus. Not only are his post informative but entertaining as well. :D
  • 02-09-2006
    Jerk_Chicken
    Format could be better. I voted myself as skank because I'm a dick and keep your heads from getting too big. **** all of you.
  • 02-09-2006
    Jdub
    Doesn't make much sense to me....So you vote for yourself in one of these categories?
  • 02-10-2006
    SSINGA
    Squeak - The Poseur Royale. even if the poseur has no skillz they have purchased or been given all the kewlest stuff and have tried to fit it to the bike. Plus he can get the tech lowdown from the smart people behind the scenes like Larry and Darren:D
  • 02-10-2006
    The Squeaky Wheel
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by SSINGA
    Squeak - The Poseur Royale. even if the poseur has no skillz they have purchased or been given all the kewlest stuff and have tried to fit it to the bike. Plus he can get the tech lowdown from the smart people behind the scenes like Larry and Darren:D

    Thanks for the vote of confidence. Your check is in the mail.

    Sob, sob, sniff.....You like me. You really, really like me !!!!!!!
  • 02-10-2006
    Aquaholic
    Wtf?
    No category for cross dressers? WTF?
  • 02-10-2006
    Mr Bling
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Aquaholic
    No category for cross dressers? WTF?


    What about snobish poseurs from overseas?

    Or Latino snobs?

    or best foreign accent award?
  • 02-10-2006
    SilverSpot
    Definately the Techie - the only guy who has bought or borrowed and tested just about every component known to man. Good comprehensive write-ups too.
  • 02-10-2006
    Renegade
    This is a tough one. I despise all of you so equally, I don't know how to vote. :rolleyes: :D
  • 02-10-2006
    rr
    I vote for turd sandwich
  • 02-10-2006
    rr
    No, wait a minute, make that giant douche
  • 02-10-2006
    rmac
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by SSINGA
    Squeak - The Poseur Royale. even if the poseur has no skillz they have purchased or been given all the kewlest stuff and have tried to fit it to the bike. Plus he can get the tech lowdown from the smart people behind the scenes like Larry and Darren:D

    Actually I think Darren beats Squeak out on cool stuff. Techie and Posur. :)
  • 02-10-2006
    The Squeaky Wheel
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by rmac
    Actually I think Darren beats Squeak out on cool stuff. Techie and Posur. :)

    Derwood is the ultimate techy geek. You really have no idea how far his geekiness extends.

    I have no idea WTF he's talking about 90% of the time
  • 02-10-2006
    Dusty Bottoms
    Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute.

    I've never been on a Homer pole, and have no plans to add that to my resume.
  • 02-10-2006
    Roy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dusty Bottoms
    Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute.
    I've never been on a Homer pole, and have no plans to add that to my resume.

    Smoked quite a few though, eh?
  • 02-10-2006
    mtn hack
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Roy
    Smoked quite a few though, eh?

    Ahhhh Haaaahaaa! And I thought Dirty Bung was just into receiving.
  • 02-10-2006
    2TurnersNotEnough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Roy
    Smoked quite a few though, eh?

    LOL! That one got coffee into my sinus cavity.
  • 02-10-2006
    Renegade
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by The Squeaky Wheel
    Derwood is the ultimate techy geek. You really have no idea how far his geekiness extends.

    I have no idea WTF he's talking about 90% of the time

    A couple weeks ago, after only one beer, I came with a story regarding Darren’s and Squeaks tech-relationship. This seems like a good time to share it. Bear in mind this is all in good fun, with the utmost respect for the two men involved.
    It’s the end of the ski season, and Squeak is starting to think about bikes again. He calls Darren at his workplace.

    Darren: Hello, this is Push industries.
    Squeak: Hey Darren. It’s Squeak. What’s happening?
    D: Hey Squeak. All sorts of things. Why, just today, I had visitors from the planet Mars who are interested in having me modify certain components of their…
    S: Oh Darren, I’m so bummed. Vail just closed for the season. I don’t know how I can get along without skiing. I just dusted off my bike, but it looks soooooooo last year. What’s new and hot in the suspension world today?
    D: Squeak, there is so much going on! Right now I’m toying with the idea of inducing plasmatronic fields into the damping circuits of rear shocks all over the world. The challenges are…blah blah blah….

    Squeak yawns, reaches for the remote control, flips through a couple dozen channels on the tube….

    D: blah blah blah. And you wouldn’t believe what’s going on with forks these days. Why just last week with retrofitted remote height controls onto all the blah blah blah…..

    Squeak, bored with the TV, picks up some old ski magazines, flips through the pages, a tear in his eye.

    D: …. It’s just been such an interesting winter of R&D work. Why just last week…
    Squeak, interrupting: Yea, well that sounds all really cool Darren. But what’s really hot? What’s the best of the best?
    D: Well, that depends. There are some really good choices this year. In rear shocks alone there are…

    Squeaks eyeballs are rolling back in his head. His attention span is waning. He can’t take much more of this.

    Squeak, interrupting; Yea but Darren, what are YOU using this year?
    D: Oh well I’m using the latest Adamantium sprung dynomotion suspension system with phase plasma inverted….

    Squeak, interrupting: That sounds great! Can you hook me up with that….stuff?
    D: Yea, I think I have another system lying around here somewhere. Why don’t you come down to the shop, and you and I can bolt it on to your bike?
    S: Okay. Oh, wait. I forgot. I have to drop off the kids at their tetherball tournament this afternoon. Can I drop it off, and you and Jimmy take care of it?
    D: Well, we’re kind of busy right now squeak, We’re way behind schedule on getting these DHX modified shocks out the door, We have so many whining customers that…
    Squeak, interrupting; That’s great, thanks Darren! I appreciate it. I can pick it up on the way back from the tetherball tournament?
    D: Uh, okay.
    S: Oh, I forgot, It’s my turn to pick up sushi tonight, and the restaurant is clear across town. Darren would you be a pal and drop my bike off at my house tonight when you’re headed home? Darren, you’re a swell friend.
    D: Uh, well, okay. It might be late, as I said, we got all these DHX shocks that….
    Squeak, interrupting: Thanks Darren! Oh, and please be quiet when you come by. The kids will be exhausted from the tournament and will probably be sleeping when you get here.
    D: Okay Squeak.
    S: Later big D!

    Darren hangs up the phone. Pauses, shakes his head, Walks out to the shop floor, “Jimmy, I hope you didn’t have any plans for tonight. We’ve got a lot of work to do”.
    Jimmy: That damn Squeak!
  • 02-10-2006
    Jdub
    LOL. Very nice....
  • 02-10-2006
    The Squeaky Wheel
    Damnit man...

    How can you tell a story like that without any mention of beer?

    :D
  • 02-10-2006
    Renegade
    The second part of the story, which I'm working on now, starts off where Darren stops by to drop off your bike. It involves beer both good and bad, Darren fine tuning your bike while you eat dinner, you talking him into washing the dishes after, etc. I need a couple beers to make this one work. Good thing it's lunch time.
  • 02-10-2006
    Renegade
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by The Squeaky Wheel
    Damnit man...

    How can you tell a story like that without any mention of beer?

    :D

    Well, I mentioned that I came up with the idea for the story after having one beer. I refined the story after many more beers. :D
  • 02-10-2006
    The Squeaky Wheel
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Renegade
    Well, I mentioned that I came up with the idea for the story after having one beer. I refined the story after many more beers. :D

    Add:
    S: "Thanks for making my bike uber-blingy-delicious. I'll be sure to drop off a case of some good microbrew."
    D: "Microbrew? Feh ! I'll take some Corona lite."
  • 02-10-2006
    Bikezilla
    Bwahahahahah!!!!
    Funny Rene!