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  1. #1
    Moosehead
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    Happy Homer New Year

    Twas the night after Christmas and all through the forum,
    Many Homers aint riding, some beechin’, no decorum,
    Silly season set in, cabin fever, gettin lazy,
    Surf the net, order parts, hit the bottle, things are hazy,
    Been a tough year for many with little to show,
    Thank gawd for MTB, cause without it things would blow,
    Throw a leg over a Turner, whether it be Spot or Flux,
    Hittin’ gnar or trail, not so bad, doesn’t sux.

    Jaybo123 is still able to ride way down south,
    It’s a shame that he suffers from diarrhea of the mouth,
    No more whining or groveling, it’s become quite the joke,
    Stick to riding and photos and keep bringing the stoke,
    Chumbaemo’s poor behavior only got him some coal,
    In his stocking, a demotion or a lesser role,
    Just shut the pie hole, stop diluting a good brand,
    Cause customers are happy and some need a hand,
    Toss Suss Facts away, just ask Dave, Dave, and Jayem,
    Doods do know their stuff, just sayin.

    If you have doubts ‘bout Ddub, at El C’s post you should peep,
    Like his prison bunkmate on viagra, Ddub Spot’s stiff and deep,
    Homers tried the dual links, some new and some old,
    It converted skeptics, Horst fans, even White Gold,
    Perfect 10 is a benchmark for the ultimate tail,
    Though some used that to describe Ddub Spot on the trail,
    As for me, haven’t tried one, still have an old stable,
    Just a matter of time, will do the 2010 Spot when able,
    Superstock showed the new Spot ripping the downs,
    It’ll more than do ‘til the next RFX comes round,
    When she does, it’ll sure be a thriller,
    It is expected to be a category killer,
    The new RFX’s traits were nailed by AirWreck,
    A flying macheen, Gnar-eating manners, as specs.

    A big highlight this year, was CC, Natty Champ,
    Cool to have him, Pars and Squish stay in camp,
    Normal Joes, smokin Camels, just riding the prairie,
    Roeder should man-up, give due props, what a fairy,
    Expect Team Balsac to defend Sol Vista next year,
    Riding a fugly, obsolete DHR, drinkin’ beer,
    If you feel like makin a trip to the Rockies, out West,
    Post at Nats, cheer CC, take a spin, it’s the best.

    Speaking of old, ridden hard, sometimes weird,
    Not the same around here without Tidy Beard.
    Long lost Homers have been missed, just post once in awhile,
    Their knowledge, stoke, and humor sure make us smile,
    On Tscheezy, on Zilla, Trail Advent, Cactus Corn,
    With you guys great photos, gear, and wrenching are norm,
    Alas this past summer, Jerk Chicken was canned,
    He was hardcore but should not have been banned,
    Even Aqua & Fo, while this forum they do snub,
    Now both of them retards are on Sultans, full D-dub.

    Tis’ the season for good tidings to all our good friends,
    Share a ride, fill a glass, raise a toast, make amends,
    In the New Year, let’s try to hike up the board,
    Give back and we’ll get a bigger reward,
    Whether you ride an old horse or are all about bling,
    Help noobs or take kids biking, it’s a good thing,
    Or just carry a camera and learn how to shoot,
    Get in more trail time, all else is moot,
    I’ll make effort to get in more action, all should,
    That said, no need to be Tiger Woods,
    (What’s the difference between Tiger and Santa, ya know?
    The big guy always stops after three Ho’s)
    Back OT, bike and be happy, simple fact,
    Stop moanin’, build trail, do good when you act,
    If you happened to ride while sporting a boner,
    Then life is good, cause you’re a true Homer.

  2. #2
    loud hubs save lives
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    Awesome post!

    Merry Xmas.

  3. #3
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    I have no words...

    Quote Originally Posted by moosehead
    Twas the night after Christmas and all through the forum,
    Many Homers aint riding, some beechiní, no decorum,
    Silly season set in, cabin fever, gettin lazy,
    Surf the net, order parts, hit the bottle, things are hazy,
    Been a tough year for many with little to show,
    Thank gawd for MTB, cause without it things would blow,
    Throw a leg over a Turner, whether it be Spot or Flux,
    Hittiní gnar or trail, not so bad, doesnít sux.

    Jaybo123 is still able to ride way down south,
    Itís a shame that he suffers from diarrhea of the mouth,
    No more whining or groveling, itís become quite the joke,
    Stick to riding and photos and keep bringing the stoke,
    Chumbaemoís poor behavior only got him some coal,
    In his stocking, a demotion or a lesser role,
    Just shut the pie hole, stop diluting a good brand,
    Cause customers are happy and some need a hand,
    Toss Suss Facts away, just ask Dave, Dave, and Jayem,
    Doods do know their stuff, just sayin.

    If you have doubts Ďbout Ddub, at El Cís post you should peep,
    Like his prison bunkmate on viagra, Ddub Spotís stiff and deep,
    Homers tried the dual links, some new and some old,
    It converted skeptics, Horst fans, even White Gold,
    Perfect 10 is a benchmark for the ultimate tail,
    Though some used that to describe Ddub Spot on the trail,
    As for me, havenít tried one, still have an old stable,
    Just a matter of time, will do the 2010 Spot when able,
    Superstock showed the new Spot ripping the downs,
    Itíll more than do Ďtil the next RFX comes round,
    When she does, itíll sure be a thriller,
    It is expected to be a category killer,
    The new RFXís traits were nailed by AirWreck,
    A flying macheen, Gnar-eating manners, as specs.

    A big highlight this year, was CC, Natty Champ,
    Cool to have him, Pars and Squish stay in camp,
    Normal Joes, smokin Camels, just riding the prairie,
    Roeder should man-up, give due props, what a fairy,
    Expect Team Balsac to defend Sol Vista next year,
    Riding a fugly, obsolete DHR, drinkiní beer,
    If you feel like makin a trip to the Rockies, out West,
    Post at Nats, cheer CC, take a spin, itís the best.

    Speaking of old, ridden hard, sometimes weird,
    Not the same around here without Tidy Beard.
    Long lost Homers have been missed, just post once in awhile,
    Their knowledge, stoke, and humor sure make us smile,
    On Tscheezy, on Zilla, Trail Advent, Cactus Corn,
    With you guys great photos, gear, and wrenching are norm,
    Alas this past summer, Jerk Chicken was canned,
    He was hardcore but should not have been banned,
    Even Aqua & Fo, while this forum they do snub,
    Now both of them retards are on Sultans, full D-dub.

    Tisí the season for good tidings to all our good friends,
    Share a ride, fill a glass, raise a toast, make amends,
    In the New Year, letís try to hike up the board,
    Give back and weíll get a bigger reward,
    Whether you ride an old horse or are all about bling,
    Help noobs or take kids biking, itís a good thing,
    Or just carry a camera and learn how to shoot,
    Get in more trail time, all else is moot,
    Iíll make effort to get in more action, all should,
    That said, no need to be Tiger Woods,
    (Whatís the difference between Tiger and Santa, ya know?
    The big guy always stops after three Hoís)
    Back OT, bike and be happy, simple fact,
    Stop moaniní, build trail, do good when you act,
    If you happened to ride while sporting a boner,
    Then life is good, cause youíre a true Homer.


  4. #4
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    Merry Christmas, moosehead. We gotta meet up for a ride next season...and be thankful Jaybo123/mtn123 (I'm losing track) doesn't live here.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Merry Christmas, moosehead. We gotta meet up for a ride next season...and be thankful Jaybo123/mtn123 (I'm losing track) doesn't live here.
    Yeah, anywho, I prefer challenging terrain

  6. #6
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    Nice job, Moosey. 2009 post of the year.

  7. #7
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    Yeah, and I assure you nobody else has it. Please stay where you are and try not to travel and infect other places.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn. Biker123
    Yeah, anywho, I prefer challenging terrain

  8. #8
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    Too bad for you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Yeah, and I assure you nobody else has it. Please stay where you are and try not to travel and infect other places.
    Skills aren't infectious...obviously

  9. #9
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    Living in ignorance must be bliss- good for you....especially when you're the rare character on mtbr who is also despised by your local riders. They must be so impressed by your skills.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn. Biker123
    Skills aren't infectious...obviously

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Living in ignorance must be bliss- good for you....especially when you're the rare character on mtbr who is also despised by your local riders. They must be so impressed by your skills.
    The "everypeople" that you speak of ride in CO, ALOT! Go figure

    BTW... I bet you own a pair of those cool Argyle socks

  11. #11
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    Oh, my bad- I thought you were referring to your "skills" where you manage to be despised on the internet and in real life. I didn't realize you were talking about how incredibly gnar you are. That has to make you so proud...and I'm sure those around you are duly impressed as well..well done!

  12. #12
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    DEWly noted

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Oh, my bad- I thought you were referring to your "skills" where you manage to be despised on the internet and in real life. I didn't realize you were talking about how incredibly gnar you are. That has to make you so proud...and I'm sure those around you are duly impressed as well..well done!
    Keep up, would ya?

    Funny how you didn't answer that sock question

  13. #13
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    Hey, don't be bitter just because your attemtps to get a free bike by manipulating Alan at Chumba bikes didn't work out. It isn't working out with Turner either. Maybe try the Ibex forum....I hear the prices are killer. I appreciate your interest in my sock collection, though you will be dissapointed none are in your favorite Argyle pattern. Since you're obviously intrigued by them, I'll keep an eye out for a pair in 2010.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Hey, don't be bitter just because your attemtps to get a free bike by manipulating Alan at Chumba bikes didn't work out. It isn't working out with Turner either. Maybe try the Ibex forum....I hear the prices are killer. I appreciate your interest in my sock collection, though you will be dissapointed none are in your favorite Argyle pattern. Since you're obviously intrigued by them, I'll keep an eye out for a pair in 2010.

    I'm going to entertain your accusation just this once so pay attention!

    Never at any time was there a discussion about FREE. I offered to "test" a new bike they were designing. Subsequently I was shot down.

    This thing with Turnerbikes evolved from all of the discussion about the 5spot replacing the RFX. It's rubbish and it's just another marketing scheme to move product. Not unlike the move from FSR to TNT. Although, I give DT huge credit for settling on the design and sticking it to the man. Even though it probably had zero affect on the bottom line for Spez. The DW appears to be DT/DW's way of "professing" thier 'pro-core' business skills, but at a compromise to some of his most faithful followers...IMO.

    Betcha I just ruined that free frame. I hope DT already threw it in the mail

    Get it, got it?...GOOD!

    I'm going ridin'...you?

    I appreciated the sock gesture, but no thanx all the same

  15. #15
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    Cat fight!!!!


  16. #16
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    .... please excuse Mtn123's incessant clamoring, as he and Jaybo have less than a week left in qualifying for mtbr "Douche of the Year" award.
    They were going to call it the "since-I-don't-own-a-dw-it-must-be-crap-and-nobody-else-could-possibly-own-a-bike-that-performs-as-well-as-mine" award, but settled on DOTY instead.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn. Biker123
    I'm going to entertain your accusation just this once so pay attention!

    Never at any time was there a discussion about FREE. I offered to "test" a new bike they were designing. Subsequently I was shot down.

    This thing with Turnerbikes evolved from all of the discussion about the 5spot replacing the RFX. It's rubbish and it's just another marketing scheme to move product. Not unlike the move from FSR to TNT. Although, I give DT huge credit for settling on the design and sticking it to the man. Even though it probably had zero affect on the bottom line for Spez. The DW appears to be DT/DW's way of "professing" thier 'pro-core' business skills, but at a compromise to some of his most faithful followers...IMO.

    Betcha I just ruined that free frame. I hope DT already threw it in the mail

    Get it, got it?...GOOD!

    I'm going ridin'...you?

    I appreciated the sock gesture, but no thanx all the same
    wow, i never knew you offered to test the new chumba. glad you cleared that up. maybe alan was afraid that you are far too gnar to test out any bike and that your terrain is way too challenging for the average rider or bike. i'm so impressed by your skills now that i see alan was afraid to let you test his new evo. it is very nice of you to offer your mad skillz to manufacturers for testing. that's very noble of you as nm obviously has the raddest terain and also your super gnar skillz on top of that just make for a killer combo. i say forget the douche of the year award and just head stright out to pick up your mtb philanthhropist of the year award. you are so very deserving as you obviously are pushing the boundaries of mtbing worldwide. whistler better look out as nm is going to become the new mtb mecca 4sure with you as it's most gnarcore advocate. can't wait till the wc circuit shows up as all other tracks out there must pale in comparison to the challenge of your trails.

    which is it though? turner bikes rule or turner is a sellout for going dt. you seem to change post to post and i am losing track of which one is winning. can you clear that up?

  18. #18
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    Nice cover on the Chumba story- it was pretty obvious you wanted a heavily discounted bike. Don't flatter yourself- you're no tester and they can do far better. You were simply harrasing Alan and hoping to get something for nothing. it didn't work because Alan, as dumb as he is, figured it out and wanted to have nothing to do with you. Maybe he isn't that dumb after all, even if it took him a few extra days to figure out what we already knew.

  19. #19
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    Mtn123 has that award already. As nuts as Jaybo can be, he isn't as devious and unpleasant as this joker and he doesn't really try to use the forum and posts to get free stuff from manufacturers. Oh, he also doesn't pretend to be a "tester" of any sort. Sorry but Jaybo just cannot be Douche of the Year!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaybo123
    .... please excuse Mtn123's incessant clamoring, as he and Jaybo have less than a week left in qualifying for mtbr "Douche of the Year" award.
    They were going to call it the "since-I-don't-own-a-dw-it-must-be-crap-and-nobody-else-could-possibly-own-a-bike-that-performs-as-well-as-mine" award, but settled on DOTY instead.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Mtn123 has that award already. As nuts as Jaybo can be, he isn't as devious and unpleasant as this joker and he doesn't really try to use the forum and posts to get free stuff from manufacturers. Oh, he also doesn't pretend to be a "tester" of any sort. Sorry but Jaybo just cannot be Douche of the Year!

    Well then, it looks like we have our 2009 DOTY winner: Mtn.Douche123

  21. #21
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    CO in the Hiz'ouse!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Nice cover on the Chumba story- it was pretty obvious you wanted a heavily discounted bike. Don't flatter yourself- you're no tester and they can do far better. You were simply harrasing Alan and hoping to get something for nothing. it didn't work because Alan, as dumb as he is, figured it out and wanted to have nothing to do with you. Maybe he isn't that dumb after all, even if it took him a few extra days to figure out what we already knew.
    Obviously you didn't listen to me the first time. I'm not big on repeating myself, so, if you'd like to "confirm" your "intelligence", why not take this up in the Chumba forum?

    I'm sure all the Homers love hearing about this garbage on "their" forum. No surprise...

    Anywho..., I went for that ride You guys all socked in up there?

    Looks to be a good ride on the evening of the 31st


  22. #22
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    Yeah, we are all duly impressed, DOTY. Now could you take your crappy pics to maybe the Ellsworth or Ibex forum. They would appreciate your gnarness a bit more.

  23. #23
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    I fu cking hate Pabst..BTW, NO Offense!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Yeah, we are all duly impressed, DOTY. Now could you take your crappy pics to maybe the Ellsworth or Ibex forum. They would appreciate your gnarness a bit more.
    Why?


  24. #24
    My cup runneth over
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    You guys should try putting 123 on your ignore list and reread this thread. Nothing is lost whatsoever - amazing.

  25. #25
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    They can't

    Quote Originally Posted by rmac
    You guys should try putting 123 on your ignore list and reread this thread. Nothing is lost whatsoever - amazing.
    Notice the 180mm fork on the 07 RFX. Would you do that to a spot ?


  26. #26
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    Oh man, quit embarrassing yourself with these pics. How about the Schwinn forum? Is there a Wannabe Conman or Wannabe Gnarness forum?

  27. #27
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    Subliminal...Chill Mr. Analmouse!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Oh man, quit embarrassing yourself with these pics. How about the Schwinn forum? Is there a Wannabe Conman or Wannabe Gnarness forum?
    You need to look closer at that pic. There is something especially for you

    Think Black Crows
    Last edited by Mtn. Biker123; 12-26-2009 at 05:21 PM.

  28. #28
    Moosehead
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    That went well.

    Lotta love during the holidays.

  29. #29
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    What? I was just exchanging pleasantries. I thought it went quite well.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by moosehead
    That went well.

    Lotta love during the holidays.
    Ha, Ha...and he's from Colarady. I'd figure a "homeboy" would have a little more respect.

    Moose,

    No matter what transpired between Cryer and myself, it should not take away from the time and thought that went into that poem. I believe you did something similar last year, but this one certainly takes the cake. You've got some talent!

    It certainly deserves more recognition than to be posted on this crappy board, but you did for your own reasons and I hope that's enough.

    I appreciated it for sure.

  31. #31
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    moose is a cool guy (and evidently a poet) but you (mtn123) are too easily baited- like a hungry carp after a breadcrumb...too entertaining.

  32. #32
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    Moosie is a talented guy, he did one of these last year and it was equally rockin'

    https://forums.mtbr.com/turner/homer-x-mas-477864.html

    From a personal perspective last year I was Satan and this year he misses me.....

    Interesting to see from the responses to both threads how the tone of the forum has changed in a year. These days when I try to picture the Turner crowd I come up with this:



    Basically, an excess of this:



    And not enough of of this:



    Or this:



    And almost none of this:



    Happy Nooyeerz all.

  33. #33
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    Tidy, good to see you're keeping it consistent and have not lost your "touch" at all. I could have sworn I saw you when driving from London to the Lake Districts a long time ago. I wish I could find that picture. It looked like a guy on a bike chasing a couple of sheep. There could only be one Tidybeard!

  34. #34
    Moosehead
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    Tidy, that last photo is a Classic.

    Also during the name CC's DHR thread, you said something along the lines of: "Since it's old, ugly, expensive, heavy, high maintenance, and been ridden by everyone else, you should call it Mrs. Beard".

    I'd have been banished to the barnyard as well.

    Happy New Year.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyer
    Tidy, good to see you're keeping it consistent and have not lost your "touch" at all. I could have sworn I saw you when driving from London to the Lake Districts a long time ago. I wish I could find that picture. It looked like a guy on a bike chasing a couple of sheep. There could only be one Tidybeard!
    You would have passed quite close so it's very possible. There's one way to tell if it was me for sure - did the guy have his knob out?

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by moosehead
    Tidy, that last photo is a Classic.

    Also during the name CC's DHR thread, you said something along the lines of: "Since it's old, ugly, expensive, heavy, high maintenance, and been ridden by everyone else, you should call it Mrs. Beard".

    I'd have been banished to the barnyard as well.

    Happy New Year.
    I'd be very happy if I had half of your way with words

    Have a good one yourself.

  37. #37
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    Man that beard sure looks tidy. Not Billy Mays (RIP), but tidy nonetheless.

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