Don't want to be a Hater, but this is just too rich- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
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    Don't want to be a Hater, but this is just too rich

    Thought you'd enjoy.
    Some of these comments are just priceless.....

    Ellsworth to Introduce Full Suspension 29er at Interbike
    http://www.bicycleretailer.com/bicyc..._id=1003120761

    SEPTEMBER 12, 2006 -- RAMONA, CA (BRAIN)—Ellsworth will debut its “Evolve” full-suspension 29er at Interbike later this month. The new 4-inch travel Evolve will feature Ellsworth’s patented ICT suspension technology.

    “We started from the ground up with this bike rather than follow the flock of competitors simply enlarging an existing model in order to play in the 29er space,” said Tony Ellsworth of Ellsworth Bicycles. “My challenge as a designer looking at the physics and engineering ramifications of not just the bigger wheels, but the unique rider position and demands of ICT suspension technology, is to admit that everything about this bike had to be different or everything would be a compromise so the Evolve has its own DNA.

    "I would rather be late to the 29er party with a more efficient ride than any bike in this class," he added.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Squeaky Wheel
    Thought you'd enjoy.
    Some of these comments are just priceless.....

    Ellsworth to Introduce Full Suspension 29er at Interbike
    http://www.bicycleretailer.com/bicyc..._id=1003120761

    SEPTEMBER 12, 2006 -- RAMONA, CA (BRAIN)—Ellsworth will debut its “Evolve” full-suspension 29er at Interbike later this month. The new 4-inch travel Evolve will feature Ellsworth’s patented ICT suspension technology.

    “We started from the ground up with this bike rather than follow the flock of competitors simply enlarging an existing model in order to play in the 29er space,” said Tony Ellsworth of Ellsworth Bicycles. “My challenge as a designer looking at the physics and engineering ramifications of not just the bigger wheels, but the unique rider position and demands of ICT suspension technology, is to admit that everything about this bike had to be different or everything would be a compromise so the Evolve has its own DNA.

    "I would rather be late to the 29er party with a more efficient ride than any bike in this class," he added.
    Just when the 29'er board hushed a bit on this one, you bring up the hate again.
    Take the long cut, we'll get there eventually.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Squeaky Wheel
    Thought you'd enjoy.
    Some of these comments are just priceless...
    You know, I feel bad for this guy sometimes, but he really does set himself up for bashing.

    What does ..."demands of ICT technology..." mean? He had to figure out how to apply his own suspension type to a new frame? Uh, yeah.

    Does he know that non-living things do not have DNA? I guess not. What does he think, he's a geneticist?

    Patrick

  4. #4
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    It's not a scientific advancement... It's a marketing breakthrough!!!

    Some people design bikes. Some market them. Guess which side TE's on. It wouldn't be so bad if all he did was talk about HIS bikes.

    It's the tacit implication that the other bike designers simply slapped something together that riles me. His statements are insulting.

  5. #5
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    Well, he could have DT's take on it:

    "29ers suck, but here's one anyway!"

  6. #6
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    Is there a pic of this divine creation anywhere? The link isn't working for me.
    ****

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by chad1433
    Well, he could have DT's take on it:

    "29ers suck, but here's one anyway!"
    That's pretty funny (and true). The really funny (and ironic) thing, that will surely piss TE off to no end, is that the Sultan is probably going to sell like hotcakes anyway. Gotta love it.

    Patrick

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by PCinSC
    That's pretty funny (and true). The really funny (and ironic) thing, that will surely piss TE off to no end, is that the Sultan is probably going to sell like hotcakes anyway. Gotta love it.

    Patrick
    No better aspect to the headline than that.

    Three extra inches makes the other guy's bike 300% more efficient than "his" previous designs.

  9. #9
    No, that's not phonetic
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    Well now that the whole "Turner sucks" crowd are all on Turners, does that mean I have to buy an Ellsworthless?
    My video techniques can be found in this thread.

  10. #10
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    I've got 5 bucks that says that after ellsworth releases their 29'er, TE tries to patent the 29 inch bike as an exclusive ellsworth creation, and he sues all other 29'er manufacturers.
    ****

  11. #11
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    Oh they cooked him pretty good on the niner board.

    Man, the brand wars have been so quiet I almost forgot about them... almost.

    Marketing is TE's strong suit... well, that and lawsuit...

    Chad, PC, LOL!
    Faster is better, even when it's not.

  12. #12
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    Meaning "it's got it's own DNA" doesn't really mean all that much because all one has to technically do is exchange one base pair and the DNA is unique and codes for something else.

    Perhaps someone should throw him a molecular bio lesson to help make his ad campaigns airtight.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerk_Chicken
    Meaning "it's got it's own DNA" doesn't really mean all that much because all one has to technically do is exchange one base pair and the DNA is unique and codes for something else.

    Perhaps someone should throw him a molecular bio lesson to help make his ad campaigns airtight.
    Well, since TE probably can't create DNA from scratch, he probably relied on a breeding program to birth his 29'er. So some other 29'er stud, humped one of his epiphany's and produced the bastard that he is going to proclaim as an immaculate conception.
    ****

  14. #14
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    Anyone else watch South Park?

  15. #15
    Bodhisattva
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renegade
    I've got 5 bucks that says that after ellsworth releases their 29'er, TE tries to patent the 29 inch bike as an exclusive ellsworth creation, and he sues all other 29'er manufacturers.

    LOL


  16. #16
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    Tony Ellsworth is a pathological liar.

  17. #17
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    Speaking of stupid lawsuits and thread hijacking, have you guys read about Specialized suing stratos suspension over inertia valve technology? The big S is suing them out of bussiness. Good reading:
    http://forums.mtbr.com/showpost.php?...8&postcount=57
    Last edited by Renegade; 09-14-2006 at 09:55 AM.
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Article 48
    Tony Ellsworth is a pathological liar.
    Which is what makes his marketing hyperbole so funny.

    For example, with this knowledge we can decipher "We started from the ground up with this bike rather than follow the flock of competitors" to actually mean "It just dawned on us that all our competitors had 29" bikes, so we cobbled something together to make it look like we are on top of things".
    ''It seems like a bit of a trend, everyone trying to make things longer over the last couple of years" Sam Hill

  19. #19
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    "I would rather be late to the 29er party with a more efficient ride than any bike in this class," he added.
    Its funny how he thinks people really like him enough to invite him to a "party". I think that he likes himself as much as TO.

  20. #20
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    Word has it that TE infuses all his bikes with his own DNA prior to anodizing......he does have hairy palms, or so I've heard.....

  21. #21
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    you know, i get the whole marketing thing...tony is just trying to sell his shite like everyone else...

    but he really ought to stay away from molecular biology references ...really...he's just out of his league...and as my mother always said:

    it is better to be silent and stupid, than to speak and confirm it!

    furthermore...tony, if your shite is so great, why not stand behind your products when they fall apart?
    Solo Trail Explorer and Granny Gear Ninja!


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  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerk_Chicken
    Anyone else watch South Park?
    "Are you saying it will be better than a monkey with six asses?"

    Faster is better, even when it's not.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bikezilla
    "Are you saying it will be better than a monkey with six asses?"
    if anything ever begged for a photoshop session, this might be it
    Attached Images Attached Images
    No, I'm NOT back!

  24. #24
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    Anti TE Marketing

    Quote Originally Posted by dHarriet
    you know, i get the whole marketing thing...tony is just trying to sell his shite like everyone else...

    but he really ought to stay away from molecular biology references ...really...he's just out of his league...and as my mother always said:

    it is better to be silent and stupid, than to speak and confirm it!

    furthermore...tony, if your shite is so great, why not stand behind your products when they fall apart?

    If you take a Moment to absorb true Enlightenment and learn the Truth you will keep your Distance from his newest bike the Evolve

  25. #25
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    so at least TE's marketing vocabulary is enriched by relevant buzzwords somehow?
    is this a realisation of continuous learning? not questionable is that he will find 29er clients?
    lots of questions only ;-)

    PS:
    I was reminded by mtbr that I did not post for a while ... so I here I am, giving stupid comments on marketing.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by dHarriet

    it is better to be silent and stupid, than to speak and confirm it!
    Yep.... but I believe the statement goes more like.... "It's better to keep your mouth shut and have people wonder if you're stupid.... than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." A great saying

  27. #27
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    One other tidbit that I came across.

    There's a company that's putting out a internally geared hub, but it's not rated for mountain bikes. Ellsworth is supposed to debut models of bikes that feature this hub. The magazine article either said or very strongly implied that Ellsworth is coming out with a line of cruisers and comfort bikes. (If your interested it's the current month MBA).

    Just found that amusing. The first 200% efficient cruiser.

    JmZ
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  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by JmZ
    One other tidbit that I came across.

    There's a company that's putting out a internally geared hub, but it's not rated for mountain bikes. Ellsworth is supposed to debut models of bikes that feature this hub. The magazine article either said or very strongly implied that Ellsworth is coming out with a line of cruisers and comfort bikes. (If your interested it's the current month MBA).

    Just found that amusing. The first 200% efficient cruiser.

    JmZ
    “We’re out to create a whole new category here,” said Tony Ellsworth, president and CEO of Ellsworth International, Inc.

    After which TE will attempt to file a patent on the term "Beach cruiser bike", and sue everyone yaada yada yada.....
    Last edited by Renegade; 09-14-2006 at 12:38 PM.
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  29. #29
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    There's a thread about EW's coffee shop cruiser in their forum. It's supposed to cost a small fortune.
    Last edited by Bikezilla; 09-14-2006 at 12:12 PM.
    Faster is better, even when it's not.

  30. #30
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    Sounds like a gem of a guy.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bikezilla
    There's a thread about EW's coffee shop cruiser in their forum.
    From the first article:

    NuVinci owner, Fallbrook Technologies Inc., reckons it will "change the way the world builds machines that use transmissions."
    D@mn right it will if they incorporate Ellsworth's 100% efficient technology.
    ''It seems like a bit of a trend, everyone trying to make things longer over the last couple of years" Sam Hill

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerk_Chicken
    Meaning "it's got it's own DNA" doesn't really mean all that much because all one has to technically do is exchange one base pair and the DNA is unique and codes for something else.
    Or it's unique and now codes for nothing at all... nonsense sequence... maybe this explains ICT?
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  33. #33
    Amphibious Technologies
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerk_Chicken
    Meaning "it's got it's own DNA" doesn't really mean all that much because all one has to technically do is exchange one base pair and the DNA is unique and codes for something else.
    Not necessarily; remember "wobbling"?
    "The best you've ridden is the best you know" - Paul Thede, Race Tech

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by be350ka
    Its funny how he thinks people really like him enough to invite him to a "party". I think that he likes himself as much as TO.
    Now wait just a minute here. Let's think about this. If TE applies his apparently considerable expertise in creating efficient designs, that could be one hell of a party. I'd like to more efficiently:

    Get drunk - I'm getting too old to shotgun beers or do keg stands, but I'd like to get good and drunk, really quickly. A more efficient beer would be awesome.

    Get laid - Well, for this one we'll have to pretend I'm not married. But wouldn't it be cool to skip the small talk and time-consuming task of plying the prospect with liquor. TE's more efficient beer would certainly come in handy here. But some all new technology (Patented by TE, of course) that would create lowered inhibitions and lead to meaningless one-night stands would be great. I'd bet every single guy (hell, even the married ones) would pay a pretty high royalty for use of this "technology".

    Of course, he could do something philanthropic with his talents, but what fun is that?

    Patrick

    Edit: Upon second thought, that "inhibition-lowering" technology already exists. It's called a roofie. But I bet TE can find a way to Patent it as his own invention and make money off it. And then refuse to refund the royalties when it doesn't work.
    Last edited by PCinSC; 09-14-2006 at 04:34 PM.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by JokerMTB
    ...TE infuses all his bikes with his own DNA prior to anodizing...
    Quote Originally Posted by dHarriet
    ...tony is just trying to sell his shite like everyone else...
    So that's how Ellsworth makes their "smoke" finish. They just smear some of TE's poo on the frames. Gross.

  36. #36
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    ha ha ha - that was funny!

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Shorts
    Yep.... but I believe the statement goes more like.... "It's better to keep your mouth shut and have people wonder if you're stupid.... than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." A great saying
    That's a classic saying for sure,both of them. There was a thread like a week ago on the Ellsworth forum titled CRACKED ID. And of course i jumped in with WHAT ANOTHER CRACKED ELLSWORTH, GEE THAT'S A SURPRISE. And some clown came back with Oh right Turner is way better. Did you guys decide what rear end your going with yet? Something like that,I don't know how to pull up past or old threads,posts,quotes like most of you. I guess you could search for it i need be. Anyway I was In a good mood so I SPARED THEM THE PAIN..............

  38. #38
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    Have Tony Ellsworth and Gary Fisher ever been seen in the same room at the same time?

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