Who wants a Pedros bottle opener?- Mtbr.com
Results 1 to 30 of 30
  1. #1
    Category Winner
    Reputation: teamdicky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,047

    Who wants a Pedros bottle opener?

    Since single speeds and beer go together like peas and the garbage can I figured I would offer up my Pedros bottle opener here. I won it in a race and I already own two other bottle openers. Funny thing is I usually drink schwag beer with twist-off caps.
    So if you want to make it yours write a poem for me about beer and your single speed. I'll figure out a winner Wednesday afternoon and get it in the mail Thursday(shipping is on me). No Haiku unless it is in Aramaic.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    WWW.TEAMDICKY.COM

    I get paid 3˘ every time I post on MTBR.

  2. #2
    try driving your car less
    Reputation: jh_on_the_cape's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,097
    Beer Beer, the joy of my heart.
    The more I drink, the more I fart.
    The more I fart, the better I feel.
    So drink your beer at every meal.
    Only boring people get bored.

  3. #3
    Category Winner
    Reputation: teamdicky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,047
    Quote Originally Posted by jh_on_the_cape
    Beer Beer, the joy of my heart.
    The more I drink, the more I fart.
    The more I fart, the better I feel.
    So drink your beer at every meal.
    Nice start, but where's the SS content?
    I do think that your poem sounds familiar though.
    WWW.TEAMDICKY.COM

    I get paid 3˘ every time I post on MTBR.

  4. #4
    Sofa King We Todd Did
    Reputation: SpinWheelz's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    2,262
    B-E-E-R
    Singlespeeds are where we are
    The end

  5. #5
    mtbr member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    575
    top of hill
    almost near
    could really use
    another gear
    not to worry
    got beer
    in no hurry

  6. #6
    mtbr member
    Reputation: Suffer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    113
    I turn just one gear, to make life more clear.
    As the summit draws near, the pain is endeared.
    I think of a beer and It ceases the fear.
    As I start to decline this old smile of mine,
    tells all who are about, that my mind is on a stout.
    I have traveled afar, now its off to the bar.

  7. #7
    mtbr member
    Reputation: bd.sahib's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    364
    No rear dropout springy thing
    Or skinny tires, no carpet fibers
    No martini with vermouth
    One gear calculated down to tooth.

    One more tooth that’s gone south
    Tried to open a bottle with my mouth
    Busted a longneck on a rock
    And filtered beer through a sweaty sock

    Now when the sun shines and I grin
    You can catch the glisten above my chin
    Of the shard between my front teeth

    .., What the hell, I don’ need no stinking opener!
    I am the king of the Echo People

  8. #8
    try driving your car less
    Reputation: jh_on_the_cape's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,097
    Quote Originally Posted by teamdicky
    Nice start, but where's the SS content?
    I do think that your poem sounds familiar though.
    There once was a man from Nantucket.
    Uphill on his SS, the wind, he would suck it.
    He said with a grin, while wiping his chin
    "Should I have a beer? Yeah, fukkit..."

    OR

    There once was a man from Peru
    One gear on his bike... and beers? he has two.
    Sh!t!, bad luck, left the opener in his truck,
    So he opened them with the back of a spoon.
    Only boring people get bored.

  9. #9
    i worship Mr T
    Reputation: *rt*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    5,543
    Quote Originally Posted by teamdicky
    Since single speeds and beer go together like peas and the garbage can I figured I would offer up my Pedros bottle opener here. I won it in a race and I already own two other bottle openers. Funny thing is I usually drink schwag beer with twist-off caps.
    So if you want to make it yours write a poem for me about beer and your single speed. I'll figure out a winner Wednesday afternoon and get it in the mail Thursday(shipping is on me). No Haiku unless it is in Aramaic.
    ode to the GA state SS championship race

    pain.
    suffering.
    1 gear. why?
    pink and sliver streamers,
    look good but don't make me go faster.
    gilligan's island theme song stuck in my head.
    3 laps.
    34x19 - bad choice.
    running, no, walking, again.
    last lap.
    grueling.
    finish line.
    endurox.
    beer would be better.

    rt

    ps - rich, did you make it for the race yesterday? in my haze of pain and suffering i don't remember seeing you.
    "where are you not going so fast?" (question asked to cyclist on a trainer)

    *rt*'s fabulous blog
    mm blogging

  10. #10
    Category Winner
    Reputation: teamdicky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,047
    Quote Originally Posted by *rt*
    ps - rich, did you make it for the race yesterday? in my haze of pain and suffering i don't remember seeing you.
    I just couldn't see making the drive for such a short race, esp. if I was going to miss all the good debauchery on Saturday. Next stop for this train is the Cohutta 100.
    WWW.TEAMDICKY.COM

    I get paid 3˘ every time I post on MTBR.

  11. #11
    mtbr member
    Reputation: calfkiller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    76

    Heres one more

    Last night I drank and Drank some more
    Until my head, it hit the floor
    When I woke up I felt such pain
    A drinking fest I shall not do again
    And so in order to enforce this plight
    I rode one gear because it felt right
    My plight has failed the beer is back
    However I feel my new mantra will not crack
    “ Beer and gears they do not mix,
    Beers and gear I found it clicks “
    Last edited by calfkiller; 03-20-2006 at 02:00 PM.

  12. #12
    Jabberwocky Jockey
    Reputation: Darkwing Duck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    809

    I'll play

    Pushing the crank, turns the gear that moves the chain.
    Up each and ev'ry hill it's all the same, always the pain.

    Riding my bike with only one gear, no harm can come, there's nothing to fear.
    For at the end of the ride, the pain a memory, all I've to do is enjoy my beer.




    Howzat?
    Calling out from the Land of the Riding Hillbilly.


    www.vassagocycles.com
    www.ntmba.org

    My Blog

  13. #13
    mtbr member
    Reputation: KavuRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    4,745

    Wow

    Those are pretty good for poems off the top of your heads!

    I don't have one.

    But, a year ago, I had scored one of the Park bottle openers they were giving away at Interbike. It was left in a demo backpack that was sent to me. Score!

    Cheers

    KavuRider
    Quote Originally Posted by azdog View Post
    I think he was born around the time of the Chernobyl fallout which would explain a lot.

  14. #14
    fresh fish in stock...... SuperModerator
    Reputation: CHUM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    8,631
    as i push one gear
    all i hear
    between labored breaths
    on my ssexy SS
    is the sound of finishing…the cracking of a beer
    Click Here for Forum Rules

  15. #15
    i worship Mr T
    Reputation: *rt*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    5,543
    Quote Originally Posted by teamdicky
    I just couldn't see making the drive for such a short race, esp. if I was going to miss all the good debauchery on Saturday. Next stop for this train is the Cohutta 100.
    understandable. i also missed the debauchery on Sat and was too wiped out for debauchery after the race. the closest i came to debaucherous behavior was thinking about drinking a beer and taking a bath in my jacuzzi tub.

    good luck at Cohutta!

    rt
    "where are you not going so fast?" (question asked to cyclist on a trainer)

    *rt*'s fabulous blog
    mm blogging

  16. #16
    JRA
    JRA is offline
    mtbr member
    Reputation: JRA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    605
    Quote Originally Posted by teamdicky
    So if you want to make it yours write a poem for me about beer and your single speed. I'll figure out a winner Wednesday afternoon and get it in the mail Thursday(shipping is on me).
    On-One fine singlespeed, I contemplate beer
    Should I open it now or at the end of the ride, is it near?
    Should I use the Eggbeaters or the Redhook opener on my keychain
    Should I use the rim section or the opener from Big Sky
    So many options, so many beers
    I'll finish this ride, I'll open that beer
    Please send ME that Pedro's, Teamdicky
    I'll use it wisely, never fear

  17. #17
    Custom User Title
    Reputation: ew505's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    157

    Here you go

    Roses are red
    voilets are blue.
    To much Schlitz
    gives me runny poo.

    This is unpleasant,
    but not the worst.
    I once racked myself
    when my chain done burst.

    You see, there’s great pressure
    when pushing one gear,
    and while climbing; the proximity
    of nuts-to-stem is quite near.

    Fin.

  18. #18
    mtbr member
    Reputation: msiddens's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    362
    Sorry to be a s**t but I have no imagination so I just bought one instead. While you are reciting poetry though, I'm opening a freshie
    Click That Sh*t

  19. #19
    Cold. Blue. Steel.
    Reputation: OneGearGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Posts
    1,709
    make like a viking
    keep it simple
    like the viking creed
    like smashing a pimple
    make it bleed
    abuse your liver
    abuse your lungs
    make like a viking
    running one gear
    but in the lead
    only one thought
    make 'em bleed
    make like a viking
    nothing left standing
    ice cold beers
    that's what I'm demanding
    yo-ho-ho yo-ho-ho
    i come to take your Pedro
    make like a viking
    Spinning and Grinning...

  20. #20
    try driving your car less
    Reputation: jh_on_the_cape's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,097
    Quote Originally Posted by ew505
    Roses are red
    voilets are blue.
    To much Schlitz
    gives me runny poo.

    This is unpleasant,
    but not the worst.
    I once racked myself
    when my chain done burst.

    You see, there’s great pressure
    when pushing one gear,
    and while climbing; the proximity
    of nuts-to-stem is quite near.

    Fin.
    wonderful use of the word 'poo'. this work captures the epic confrontation one-gear cyclists face: the battle between the enjoyment of a thrifty brew and the fear of... well it cannot be said any better than it already has.... "runny poo".

    However, the reader is left hanging. While some might say that a discussion of hershey squirts would be cliche and overdone, this critic believes that omitting it is more than an intentional oversight... it is an irresponsible omission by a poet who lacks even the slightest intellect and knowledge of smelly skid marks in the tighty whiteys.

    I retort with my own masterpiece.

    Crusty pubes on the chamois
    the crust is brown,
    Genny cream ale... why did you do this to me?

    the dingleberries make a contact patch to
    my saddle, to
    my bike, to
    my soul. as i stand and crank.
    and make farts that are far from dry.
    not dry, no, but poo-laced.




    i simply cannot top the runny poo submission. i am nothing.
    Only boring people get bored.

  21. #21
    Custom User Title
    Reputation: ew505's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    157
    Quote Originally Posted by jh_on_the_cape
    Crusty pubes on the chamois
    the crust is brown,
    Genny cream ale... why did you do this to me?

    the dingleberries make a contact patch to
    my saddle, to
    my bike, to
    my soul. as i stand and crank.
    and make farts that are far from dry.
    not dry, no, but poo-laced.
    Bravo! Bravo!
    Dingleberries and crusty pubes.
    You sir, are a true poet!

  22. #22
    prawny
    Reputation: ieeee!'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    74
    Dang. Forgot all those years of Aramaic class. It's so sad... I will go kill myself.

    But first... a ride on the SS. And a beer. O if only I had a bottle opener! Dang.
    Last edited by ieeee!; 03-20-2006 at 09:51 PM. Reason: oops

  23. #23
    Out spokin'
    Reputation: Sparticus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 1999
    Posts
    9,685
    Which way does the left pedal screw?
    Ah fuggit.. gimme another brew.


    --Sparty
    disciplesofdirt.org

    We don't quit riding because we get old.
    We get old because we quit riding.

  24. #24
    Just Give'r!
    Reputation: cmatcan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    212
    17 teeth on the cog in the rear,
    29 teeth in my mouth as the beer,
    blesses my mouth with its nectar so sweet
    a fizik plateau is my saddle or seat.
    walking up hills that i wish i could climb,
    thinking of drinking, well, most of the time.
    wanting an opener to store in my shop,
    as i sip beer and make sneers at vertical 'drops.
    fin

  25. #25
    Drinker w/ Riding Problem
    Reputation: brado1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    5,326
    riding through the forest with just one gear
    cranks and cog a turning
    lungs and legs a burning
    the only quencher, a nice cold beer
    or three for that matter
    riding through the forest with just one gear
    prevents me from getting fatter
    Ok twist my arm, I’ll have another beer


    Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
    Attached Images Attached Images

  26. #26
    mtbr member
    Reputation: bit_lizard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    110

    Slob

    I don't know why I have one gear
    I don't know why I like good beer
    I don't know why I like my nob
    could it be that I'm a slob?

    No, I'm not, I'm not a slob
    I love my gear, my beer, my nob
    I pedal my gear, I drink my beer
    I guess I am..........a beer drinking gear nob slob

  27. #27
    Category Winner
    Reputation: teamdicky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,047
    Quote Originally Posted by brado1
    Oh, yes. It's very nice-a. (I told him we already got one.)
    Sweet!
    WWW.TEAMDICKY.COM

    I get paid 3˘ every time I post on MTBR.

  28. #28
    mtbr member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    16

    beer/singlespeed poem

    I remember my first single speed race
    Pointy Pensylvania rocks, one cog
    I finished it off with a beer full of taste
    And slept beside Randolf the dog

    This was truely my favorite week
    As there wasn't a shortage of brew
    In a red thong Ryan Taylor did streak
    Gary Fisher invented go-cart racing too

    Pat Ryan Eric and Luke
    At the bar the the free beer we chose
    Pat the lanky Irishman did not puke
    But drank so much blood dripped from his nose

    So that is my tale of beer drinking and bikes
    On two wheels and one gear I will ride
    These things are what my soul thrives on and likes
    And fills me with a fine drunkin pride

  29. #29
    Category Winner
    Reputation: teamdicky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,047

    We have a winner!

    I picked the poem that gave me the best mental picture. Thanks to all that played.
    And the winner is...

    bd.sahib (PM me your address and I will ship it out)

    No rear dropout springy thing
    Or skinny tires, no carpet fibers
    No martini with vermouth
    One gear calculated down to tooth.

    One more tooth that’s gone south
    Tried to open a bottle with my mouth
    Busted a longneck on a rock
    And filtered beer through a sweaty sock

    Now when the sun shines and I grin
    You can catch the glisten above my chin
    Of the shard between my front teeth

    .., What the hell, I don’ need no stinking opener!

    Honorable mention to One Gear Guy for touching the viking inside me:

    make like a viking
    keep it simple
    like the viking creed
    like smashing a pimple
    make it bleed
    abuse your liver
    abuse your lungs
    make like a viking
    running one gear
    but in the lead
    only one thought
    make 'em bleed
    make like a viking
    nothing left standing
    ice cold beers
    that's what I'm demanding
    yo-ho-ho yo-ho-ho
    i come to take your Pedro
    make like a viking
    WWW.TEAMDICKY.COM

    I get paid 3˘ every time I post on MTBR.

  30. #30
    try driving your car less
    Reputation: jh_on_the_cape's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    3,097
    beer beer, the magical fruit...
    Only boring people get bored.

Members who have read this thread: 0

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

THE SITE

ABOUT MTBR

VISIT US AT

© Copyright 2019 VerticalScope Inc. All rights reserved.