Admit it, you're a failure as a man. You can't tell a metric claw hammer from freshly lubricated muffler bearings. You might have more male friends but your mechanical ineptitude ruins every ride. Instead of BS-ing your way through these mechanical short-comings with such manly stock phrases like "I was in the middle of adjusting that when I ran out of beer. I must have forgot to finish it when I came back from the liquor store." or "I was adjusting that when my sister called from work. Her shift at the titty-bar was over and she wanted to know if I wanted an off the clock lap dance from her and Chantal."

The days of hanging your head in shame are over! It's as simple as removing the unsightly mechanisms from your handlebars and frame to reduce it to a Single Speed! Yes! You too can make manly grunts and groans as you struggle to keep up with your friends! Gone are your hesitations while trying to decide whether to shift down in the back or the front as you exit a corner!

By reducing your gear choices to 1 you do what men do best: keeping it simple and no frills.

Remember college? Okay then, remember getting kicked out of your parent's house? Did you run out and get a complete dinner set, bedroom set and living room sectional with ottoman? Hell no! You stole a plate, bowl and fork from the break room at work! You borrowed a mattress and put in on the floor and had lawn furniture and milk crates sitting in front of that 52" LCD TV to watch the ball game!

By embracing the Single Speed the friends you have left will see you for what you really are: a tough as nails man. You don't need those extra gears. Hell, that 26t chainring on the crank is called a "Granny Gear" for a reason! Man-up Buttercup! The sooner you feel your kneecap wanting to pop the sooner you'll wash away the pain over a beer with the men at the trailhead.

As an added bonus, all the money you save by not buying derailleurs and shifters can be spent on tattoos. Nothing is more manly than a tattoo of a single cog or flames on your calf. Once your friends see you for the man you truly are get a tattoo of a rubber chicken in a noose on your calf. With that tattoo no man will every crack wise about your ability to turn a screwdriver again.