Forget the World 1x1 Championships...we're talking galactic war and ****!- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
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    Reputation: Pluto Pilot's Avatar
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    Forget the World 1x1 Championships...we're talking galactic war and ****!

    Once upon a time, in a parallel galaxy far...far away, there was an evil warlord who created a transportation device with two wheels, that was powered by a single individual...and when his people got tired pedaling these new "bicycles", that evil warlord created "gears" that would make it easier to pedal.

    However, the evil warlord wanted to keep his followers down. By giving them gears, he gave them an easy way out...a way without fulfillment...and an unnecessarily complicated contraption that they never had initially wanted, expected, or NEEDED! The people rebelled, but to no avail...

    A messenger craft visited The Intergalactic Pilot himself in the summer of 1998 while he was imbibing
    malt beverages in his basement shop. The message called out for help...it also warned of an interplanetary hostile takover in progress.

    The hostile goal is to infect as many humans on Earth as possible by injecting a mutant gene into our genome called the "granny gear gene".

    This gene makes all who have it want extra unnecessary gears to ride bicycles. We don't question this "drive" because it is in the depths of most of our genomes!

    The message cried out for revenge and WAR! The only way to battle this gene is to instigate a mutation in ourselves that dominates the "granny-gear gene"...and the only way to revert to our old genome is by riding bicycles with one gear.

    We can combat this gene together, and take back our lives and the fun of past days when there were only ONE-SPEEDS.

    In response to this, in October 1999, after a majority decision of the milky way planet star alliance, we officially initiated the INTERGALACTIC SINGLE SPEED CHAMPIONSHIPS

    In this effort to rid Earthlings and the rest of the milky way galaxy of this plague, we officially announce the 8th annual INTERGALACTIC SINGLE SPEED CHAMPIONSHIPS.

    We will take the Nederland Starship to explore the Moons of Magnolia and other related galaxies to search and destroy all those granny-geared mutants. This is our mission...I hope you can join us

    WHO CARES A CRAP ABOUT THE "SS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS"? (we're talking galactic war and ****!)

    What shall we do for Intergalactic Single Speed Championships this year? This is what we shall do. It's taking place October 21, 2006. Meet in Nederland, on the stairs in front of the Black Forest Restaurant (just like year one) at 9:30 am. No night ride, no secret meeting place - just a good ol' fashioned singlespeed rally on some of the finest MAPPED trails in the area. Simple. The ride will likely end somewhere in the Boulder Galaxy. Bring a singlespeed bicycle, a uniform, a malt beverage and some Fondue or prepare to get lynched. And pray for snow!

    For more info on this event visit http://offcamber.typepad.com

    For a historical perspective, visit http://www.offcamber.com/intergalactic.htm. May the force be with you.

  2. #2
    Got Mojo?
    Reputation: BikeMojo's Avatar
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    Are all welcome? Zortang was run off of Passion.... But he seems like a perfect complement to the IGSSC.
    aLaN AT BikeMojo DOT com

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