Mountain Bike Reviews Forum banner

Give it to me straight, oldtimer to oldtimer: Should I be offended?

6K views 86 replies 51 participants last post by  str8edgMTBMXer 
#1 ·
Groupthink and political correctness have taken over the Women's Lounge. Humor -- if not at the expense of clueless, mansplaining, misogynistic males -- has apparently been banned. Below is a copy of a tongue-in-cheek post I put up today which was locked by the mods after two responses. Totally true story, and just one example of the assumptions younger riders, male and female, make about older riders on the trail.

Comments I hear with some frequency: "Keep going, you can do it." "Don't give up; almost there." "Don't worry it gets easier."

Does this kind of thing happen to other older riders, or just me? Am I offended? Not really, but these comments from total strangers seem to assume I'm struggling or suffering and outside my comfort zone. I'm not the strongest or fastest rider, but Ive been riding mtb since 1981 and still get in 50-100 miles a week. Not all easy trails either.

I posted because I think the assumptions made about older riders, in many cases, come from the same place (clueless stereotypes, mostly) as the assumptions men often make about women riders. Actual malice and condescension is, I think the exception. I expected a spirited discussion, but got locked out instead. What do you old-timers think?

The offensive post starts here :

I think I was just mansplained to by a woman because I am old.

On one of my favorite climbs yesterday I just wasn't feeling it and stopped to take a breather. A young woman coming downhill soon appeared, so I took another step off the trail. Mostly I was trying to give a fellow rider room to avoid a large boulder, on the other side of which was a steep drop-off. The downhill rider chirps, "I can get off and walk if that would make you more comfortable." She didn't add the sobriquet "Gramps", but it was implied by her tone.

Should I be offended?
 
See less See more
#2 ·
People shouldn't let it bother them. Why not act the part for funsies? Turn it into a positive...

I figure that this is just one of the downsides to having a lot of bias built up, and triggering the backfire effect... what should be encouragement and consideration, turns into annoyance. xD

I feel that we live in a society that romanticizes drama, which results in this kind of stuff being treated as entertainment. Since people demand more of it, they're less likely to find a permanent solution to such maturity/ego issues. Instead, we sort of save it up as "ammo" for use in humor through satire or whatever. That and people are too quick to retreat to being tribalistic, as it's easier than being an individual.
 
#3 ·
I'm not an old timer but growing up, my 'ole man used to (and still does) just look at me and say "I hope you're in half-as-good-a shape as me when you're my age."

I think there's a lot to be said for your post. Can a 20 year old blow by an ole' timer? Maybe. Can that same 20 year old hold on for 35 years and keep the passion alive? I doubt it seriously. I don't think it has a thing to do with stamina or comfort level though. I think your mind should reside in your accomplishment that not many achieve. MTB is hot and gaining momentum but I think an argument can be made that it wasn't always this way and the old timers have prevailed.

Kudos veloborealis. I hope I'm in "half-as-good-a" shape as you. Laugh at the novice, fair-weather fans who don't respect your journey.
 
#8 ·
Groupthink and political correctness have taken over the Women's Lounge. Humor -- if not at the expense of clueless, mansplaining, misogynistic males -- has apparently been banned. Below is a copy of a tongue-in-cheek post I put up today which was locked by the mods after two responses. Totally true story, and just one example of the assumptions younger riders, male and female, make about older riders on the trail.

Comments I hear with some frequency: "Keep going, you can do it." "Don't give up; almost there." "Don't worry it gets easier."

Does this kind of thing happen to other older riders, or just me? Am I offended? Not really, but these comments from total strangers seem to assume I'm struggling or suffering and outside my comfort zone. I'm not the strongest or fastest rider, but Ive been riding mtb since 1981 and still get in 50-100 miles a week. Not all easy trails either.

I posted because I think the assumptions made about older riders, in many cases, come from the same place (clueless stereotypes, mostly) as the assumptions men often make about women riders. Actual malice and condescension is, I think the exception. I expected a spirited discussion, but got locked out instead. What do you old-timers think?

The offensive post starts here :

I think I was just mansplained to by a woman because I am old.

On one of my favorite climbs yesterday I just wasn't feeling it and stopped to take a breather. A young woman coming downhill soon appeared, so I took another step off the trail. Mostly I was trying to give a fellow rider room to avoid a large boulder, on the other side of which was a steep drop-off. The downhill rider chirps, "I can get off and walk if that would make you more comfortable." She didn't add the sobriquet "Gramps", but it was implied by her tone.

Should I be offended?
You are old, are you also fat? And slow?
 
#11 ·
You shouldn't be offended (and apparently you weren't) by what the young rider said.
Should the women on the women's forum be offended? That's up to them. They've made it pretty clear what offends them and yet guys go on and try to talk them out of being offended for some reason. Probably time to give THAT a rest.
 
#16 ·
Groupthink and political correctness have taken over the Women's Lounge. Humor -- if not at the expense of clueless, mansplaining, misogynistic males -- has apparently been banned. Below is a copy of a tongue-in-cheek post I put up today which was locked by the mods after two responses. Totally true story, and just one example of the assumptions younger riders, male and female, make about older riders on the trail.

Comments I hear with some frequency: "Keep going, you can do it." "Don't give up; almost there." "Don't worry it gets easier."

Does this kind of thing happen to other older riders, or just me? Am I offended? Not really, but these comments from total strangers seem to assume I'm struggling or suffering and outside my comfort zone. I'm not the strongest or fastest rider, but Ive been riding mtb since 1981 and still get in 50-100 miles a week. Not all easy trails either.

I posted because I think the assumptions made about older riders, in many cases, come from the same place (clueless stereotypes, mostly) as the assumptions men often make about women riders. Actual malice and condescension is, I think the exception. I expected a spirited discussion, but got locked out instead. What do you old-timers think?

The offensive post starts here :

I think I was just mansplained to by a woman because I am old.

On one of my favorite climbs yesterday I just wasn't feeling it and stopped to take a breather. A young woman coming downhill soon appeared, so I took another step off the trail. Mostly I was trying to give a fellow rider room to avoid a large boulder, on the other side of which was a steep drop-off. The downhill rider chirps, "I can get off and walk if that would make you more comfortable." She didn't add the sobriquet "Gramps", but it was implied by her tone.

Should I be offended?
You picked a bad time and bad forum to post this in. Using the term mansplained to explain being talked down to be a female rider, also a bad choice. Think about your words, just as you are expecting those that typecast you as old and in need of encouragement.

Your not understanding this, the power of words, the co-opting of a term used by women to define men that talk down to women, and then the hypocrisy of your post were you were asking, even if humor was intended, of being belittled for being you by an ageist is bad form in the women's lounge.

Humor can be powerful and I totally understand the sentiment of what you were saying but that was not the time or the place to put that out there.
 
#17 ·
Forum title is 'Womens Lounge' so I never entered. I'm sure there are many great folks there but not surprised to hear it can turn into a sh*t show when a man gets into their sandbox discussing being 'mansplained by a woman'.

Life's too short to waste time on crap like this. I would not have been offended or even put much thought into the situation. I focus on the ride...there's only so many good ones left.
 
#22 ·
I firmly believe that the more politically correct society becomes.....the more people look for reasons to be offended. It's sad.
I'm going to argue that as not a women, you probably don't have the ability to define what is offensive to women, same with me. However I will always take them at their word to what is offensive to them, as they are women and they know this. This is not political correctness, this is attitude adjustment to 50% of our humanity that deserves to be equal to men.

Until we start referring to the the dumbing down of features as "boyfriending" the trail, someone that lames out as a "cock", someone that is lame or weak as having a "wallet", we can take women's complaints legitimately as complaints and not as easily offended because it is a knee jerk reaction to debate.
 
#26 ·
What some deem to be "Political Correctness" (or absurdly calling people "Snowflakes"), others would argue is just a push to be civil. I'm down with civility.

The term "offended" is overused, also. Just because someone points something out doesn't make them offended. It just means they're trying to civilize the discourse. It's similar to the perceived "hate" to e-bikes. These terms cease to have meaning in the contexts which they're being used.
 
#28 ·
Does this kind of thing happen to other older riders, or just me?
It happens to everyone. Age and gender have nothing to do with it. Such comments are virtually always meant in a friendly, encouraging way. When you consider that the person making them usually only has a second or two to come up with something to say it's hardly surprising they often say something a bit lame. I do it myself.

More worrying is the feeling that this is something that needs to be talked about and worried over. Let it go.
 
#30 ·
I was in the Bike Park at Steamboat on Sunday. Got passed by a twenty-something (if that) in full DH regalia...he said "Thank you, Sir!"
I thought about being offended, then I realized that I say that to younger people all the time.
I was with my 10 year old, and thought it was cool of the teenager to be so polite.
 
#31 ·
No.

The only reason anything bothers you is because you choose to let it bother you.

This is all about your thinking.

The only one that thinks you are old is you. The only one that's worried about you being old is you. Interesting eh?

Groupthink and political correctness have taken over the Women's Lounge. Humor -- if not at the expense of clueless, mansplaining, misogynistic males -- has apparently been banned. Below is a copy of a tongue-in-cheek post I put up today which was locked by the mods after two responses. Totally true story, and just one example of the assumptions younger riders, male and female, make about older riders on the trail.

Comments I hear with some frequency: "Keep going, you can do it." "Don't give up; almost there." "Don't worry it gets easier."

Does this kind of thing happen to other older riders, or just me? Am I offended? Not really, but these comments from total strangers seem to assume I'm struggling or suffering and outside my comfort zone. I'm not the strongest or fastest rider, but Ive been riding mtb since 1981 and still get in 50-100 miles a week. Not all easy trails either.

I posted because I think the assumptions made about older riders, in many cases, come from the same place (clueless stereotypes, mostly) as the assumptions men often make about women riders. Actual malice and condescension is, I think the exception. I expected a spirited discussion, but got locked out instead. What do you old-timers think?

The offensive post starts here :

I think I was just mansplained to by a woman because I am old.

On one of my favorite climbs yesterday I just wasn't feeling it and stopped to take a breather. A young woman coming downhill soon appeared, so I took another step off the trail. Mostly I was trying to give a fellow rider room to avoid a large boulder, on the other side of which was a steep drop-off. The downhill rider chirps, "I can get off and walk if that would make you more comfortable." She didn't add the sobriquet "Gramps", but it was implied by her tone.

Should I be offended?
 
#36 ·
I am not easily offended by anything. Now you deserve the old comments if you are in a convenience store in full gear, wearing a bit of mud, have a very muddy fatbike outside, locked with a huge cable, plenty of ear hair, are at the checkout with a huge line and are squeezing one of those rubber change purses, taking out each coin and looking at it closely over the top of your glasses to pay for a bottle of water. Now, I would not do that.

In that case, you just might be old. A folding cane bungeed to the bike rack adds a nice touch.
 
#37 ·
“are at the checkout with a huge line and are squeezing one of those rubber change purses”

That brings back memories...My father used one of those for as long as I can remember, same old mustard colored one for at least twenty years!
 
#38 ·
"are at the checkout with a huge line and are squeezing one of those rubber change purses"

That brings back memories...My father used one of those for as long as I can remember, same old mustard colored one for at least twenty years!
The coin purse probably was yellow at one point. Fingerprint grease discolors them over the years.

Was in the store one time with my teenage daughter whom wanted a kid rock CD. I somewhat objected and was subject to the "your are older than dirt" type comments. I said you want to see old, I will buy it but you have to stand in line behind me. I made change with the rubber squeeze purse checking each coin up close with trembling hands and slowly trembled it to the counter. Took at least a minute. She was horrified but kept her mouth shut.

Another time in the store the cashier ask me "Paper or plastic?" referring to bagging. I was not paying attention and my daughter said "DAD she is asking you paper or plastic?" to which I responded "Oh! I always pay with plastic" My daughter then said "DAD she means a bag!" to which I responded " Oh yes, I want my groceries in a bag". My daughter was just dumbfounded.
 
#39 ·
The range of potential comments stretches from clearly offensive to clearly not offensive.

The significant majority of comments exist somewhere in the middle.

How you interpret those comments says much more about what is inside of you than what is inside of them - especially when it is someone you don't know, in which case it is only about what is inside you.

It is far better to assume they mean the best, and be proved wrong, than to assume the worse, and find out otherwise.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top