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  1. #1

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    Wife vs. Bike // Bike vs. Wife

    Anyone else have trouble with getting in ride time and wife time? Besides getting her out to ride, any helpful hints on how to manage?

  2. #2
    "Its All Good"
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    Quote Originally Posted by vexhex
    Anyone else have trouble with getting in ride time and wife time? Besides getting her out to ride, any helpful hints on how to manage?
    If we could answer that we would be millionaires................

    Nah, I hear ya loud and clear. Man I have lost so many girlfriends through them getting ticked off that I ride. I cannot compromise and not ride, I make that clear from the beginning, they usually say yeah, good on you for being up front, you can then start really telling whats going down after 3 months............. Usually they cannot cope................

    My present partner is all good, has been for 12 months, mind you we had a smoko break at 5 months.............. But all good at this point...........

    Its when they feel like you would rahter spend time with a bike than them, real insecure when its like that.........

    Let me know if you find the magic combo though, am keen to know the secret. My dad is 59, he said dont even try and understand, I'm still trying........

    Ha ha, females would be saying the exact same thing as we are am sure. Spend 10 mins in the womans lounge, you can feel it............................. Any female that hard core rides rocks in my book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The_Lecht_Rocks: whafe - cheeers - may i offer an official apology for the wagon wheeler "dis-belief"

  3. #3
    FM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whafe
    If we could answer that we would be millionaires................
    True true.

    Adding kids to the mix doesn't help either- Now only one of us can ride at a time, and you know who that ends up being!

    I only have three real comments of value-
    • you've got to establish your riding schedule up front and be consistent with it. Then it's a "treat" if you end up skipping rides due to weather or injuries. This way there's no surprises, they understand it's part of the package.
    • Make sure to explain that it's more than a sport or hobby, it's part of who you are and you woudl be a miserable *hole if you don't get to ride on a consistent basis. Who wants to date a miserable *hole? I know that this is the case with me, experience has proven it to us both.
    • Lastly, if there's some sort of communication where she understands you appreciate her accomdating your riding passion, and you're willing to give back when it counts (i.e. shopping, family holidays, etc)

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    Quote Originally Posted by vexhex
    Anyone else have trouble with getting in ride time and wife time? Besides getting her out to ride, any helpful hints on how to manage?
    I start my Saturday ride at 6 or 7am so I can be home by 11ish to spend the rest of the day with wifey and kids. Midweek, I ride at lunch time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FM
    • you've got to establish your riding schedule up front and be consistent with it. Then it's a "treat" if you end up skipping rides due to weather or injuries. This way there's no surprises, they understand it's part of the package.
    thanks - that is a good idea - sometimes it is like being asked to choose between the two - i know the bike doesn't have a mouth so i hope the question never comes up.

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    Simply ask her if she'd rather you be riding another woman .

    Seriously in my case, I try to keep my riding reasonable. My main time to ride is Tuesdays, when Mrs. bh357 has other commitments in the evening. I can usually get away for another day during the week, with her going to spend time with her mom when I do.
    We also ride together on the paved stuff. Unfortunately she doesn't have any interest in doing any off-road riding, short of a rail-trail.

  7. #7
    old man riding!
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    I ride when I can! I commute to work some in the warmer months which means getting up at 1 am and heading out at 2 am to get to work and changed before starting work at 4am.I also get up on saturday or sunday 6 or 7 am to get a ride in before everyone else gets up.I have been married for 9 years and I have two kids which I love to spend time with so I dont want to cut in my time with them. You have to make sacrifices on riding time but if you want to ride you can always find the time somewhere...

  8. #8
    govt kontrakt projkt mgr
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    no

    no trouble at all coz at this point after 17 years I'm gunna do what the frick I want.

    Quote Originally Posted by vexhex
    Anyone else have trouble with getting in ride time and wife time? Besides getting her out to ride, any helpful hints on how to manage?

  9. #9
    mmm bacon
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    i must just be lucky

    I pretty much ride anytime I want, all my girl wants is a coffee, kiss in the morning, feed the cat (her's), walk the dog (mine), a idea of where me ride is going and when I might be back...so if I don't show up later they can attempt to find me, I'm home for a late lunch and then off to work, school or a dinner out if neither of us work. Now that I wrote it down I no longer wonder why I get up at 6 am.

  10. #10
    It's about showing up.
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    It is a hard call to make

    without seeing a picture of your bike.

  11. #11
    govt kontrakt projkt mgr
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    and

    and of the wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Berkeley Mike
    without seeing a picture of your bike.

  12. #12
    "Its All Good"
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    Quote Originally Posted by FM
    I only have three real comments of value
    Three dam fine comments if I say so myself. ................ The magic balance, think the fact it is part of who youa re is huge, that cannot be compromised in my book, if your wife loves you for who you are, i wouldnt think she would want to take that away from you!
    The_Lecht_Rocks: whafe - cheeers - may i offer an official apology for the wagon wheeler "dis-belief"

  13. #13
    local trails rider
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    There could be all sorts of angles to this.

    Does she have a chance to get out and do what she likes to do?

  14. #14
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    I guess I feel lucky that I've never had to deal with this problem. My wife is usually happy to see me riding 2-3 nights per week. To be honest, I think she likes having the house to herself for a few hours. Gives her a chance to do the things she doesn't usually do when I'm home. I can see how kids would change that equation, though.

    Besides, considering that riding is what transformed me from her doughy boyfriend into her chiseled stallion of a husband, she's not complaining.

  15. #15
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    My wife is certainly tired with the baby, but there isn't anyone much more considerate. Riding has not seemed to be an issue. I wouldn't sacrifice my marriage for a bike though. That's just me though.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by crashtoomuch
    I start my Saturday ride at 6 or 7am so I can be home by 11ish to spend the rest of the day with wifey and kids. Midweek, I ride at lunch time.
    Same schedule as mine: where do you ride??

    Sunday morning rides start @ 6AM, so I have 4 hours of good. It's pretty tough in the wintertime, but, hey, that's the only time I've got. It's pretty difficult to find buddies to ride with...
    But that leaves more family time for wife and kids. One ride mid week (road) before work and 2 spinning sessions at lunch time (to stay fit )

    If she really cares for you, she'll understand and help you out. If she doesn't, well, go ride anyway...
    In my case I think she can really tell the difference between the w.e. when I ride and the ones when I don't and I'm sure she prefers the first ones.

    But I think it's important to establish a clear schedule and stick with it.
    If you have kids you'll have to give her back some "comp time" either in the we or during the week.
    "There is no A-line"
    Savvy Bike

  17. #17
    Long Distance MTB
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    I have a solution

    Quote Originally Posted by vexhex
    Anyone else have trouble with getting in ride time and wife time? Besides getting her out to ride, any helpful hints on how to manage?
    I ride at about 6am to return before 11am so I won't leave my wife too much time alone with them. (Being considerate helps).
    But one friend told us how he do it, and it sounds like the perfect solution.
    At 5 or 6am you wake here up and ask "hey honey, sex or bike ride?", and wife will answer something like this "be careful and cover yourself, it is cold outside".

  18. #18

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    whine a lot

    My strategy is to display myself as stressed and grumpy if I go for longer than 72 hours without a ride. I just complain until my wife tells me to go for a ride and shake it off.

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    ... and if we just ...

    Since I'm not married and have no GF ATM, I can ride whenever I want!

  20. #20
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    1.) Talk with your wife about it.
    2.) Be reasonable.
    3.) Be flexible.

    It's just like anything else in a marriage.

  21. #21

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    Sometimes a good shaking can do wonders.

  22. #22
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    If I go 3-4 days without riding, I get pretty "crabby" (a lack of consistant endorphines perhaps?) Anyway, the wife notices that I haven't been riding and says "...your getting to be a pain around here, you need to go for a ride." We've been together for along time, and she understands my needs pretty well.

  23. #23
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    Yes! True! Badtrip! Thinking about your sentiment bros in bike. But luck is on my side, I have a wife who knows how to appreciate the benifits of mtbiking.

    * healthwise - good workout, fat burner, lowers the risk of hypertension.
    * economical - saves me alot, instead of using my car I use my bike to work.

    But if she discovers the amount $00.000(?), the time( ? ) we spend on each bike think of it. What's the next upgrade (?). She'll freak out. especially I own 3 bikes, diff. set-up. The trick is, same color scheme. She wont notice the diff. It works with me hope for all of u out there. cheers

  24. #24

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    I'll have this forum know that I'm a girl and like to ride alot more than my husband does!!! Sometimes its very frustrating because I ask him if he wants to ride today and he replies, I guess. Where to? I have the most unathletic friends or they have kids and are too busy, so if not for him I have to go by myself. It makes it no fun when you know the other rider is just there to please you and they are miserable. I just wished he loved riding like I do. It's an adventure, outdoors, calorie burner, health issue - Who wouldnt love it!!!!

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  25. #25
    TNC
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    Hey...what's your phone number?

    Quote Originally Posted by asuperstar103
    I'll have this forum know that I'm a girl and like to ride alot more than my husband does!!! Sometimes its very frustrating because I ask him if he wants to ride today and he replies, I guess. Where to? I have the most unathletic friends or they have kids and are too busy, so if not for him I have to go by myself. It makes it no fun when you know the other rider is just there to please you and they are miserable. I just wished he loved riding like I do. It's an adventure, outdoors, calorie burner, health issue - Who wouldnt love it!!!!

    http://www.superflysunglasses.com
    LOL!...Now, first let me make it clear that I'm totally kidding. I think it's way better to let the significant other stay completely away from the riding if they don't have the passion for it. That usually causes more problems than solutions. I've been married for 33 years...probably because we don't make/pressure each other to do many activities that we both don't enjoy. There has to be that "space" realization between two people for any relationship to work. These e-harmony ads that proclaim perfect matches with a partner just like you is the biggest bunch of bunk I've ever heard. I don't really want someone just like me, and I think most people don't realize that it's not a good thing to be in love with yourself.

    Anyway, it does make it tough if you don't have other female friends who like to ride or have athletic interests. I also ride road bikes and used to ride with a female rider. She had her head screwed on straight and so did I, so it wasn't a problem and I kept my wife informed about this. You could probably find male riding partners, so you don't have to ride alone...as long as the proper perspective is maintained.

    Men and women riding together and having the same passion for it is the exception rather than the rule. We just have to try and balance the riding and the relationship.

  26. #26

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    When my wife and I met I was riding 2-3 times a wek year round. After we got married, that got cut down just a tad and after 2 kids I average once a week, lucky if I can squeeze two in. It's never really an issue unless we are travelling somewhere and I want to bring my bike (Idaho next week, New Zealand at the end of the year). At that point she just doesn't understand my needs.

  27. #27
    You got any chocolate?
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    Quote Originally Posted by rimugu
    I ride at about 6am to return before 11am so I won't leave my wife too much time alone with them. (Being considerate helps).
    But one friend told us how he do it, and it sounds like the perfect solution.
    At 5 or 6am you wake here up and ask "hey honey, sex or bike ride?", and wife will answer something like this "be careful and cover yourself, it is cold outside".

    That's a good one!!!! I guess I am lucky in that she is a personal fitness trainer and we both ride. And if she is tired and I want to ride, she is okay with it b/c she sees it as a chance to take a nap. Also having no kids makes it easy. But for you guys (and gals) that can ride, be married and raise kids....heroes in my book!!
    Tom G.
    Long Island, NY

  28. #28
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    I guess I am blessed. I was riding prior to meeting my now wife and when she complained about not spending time together I stopped running on TUES,THURS . Now I ride MON,WED,FRI after work and she'S cool w/it. Saturdays I wake up way too early for her. So by the time I get back she is just rolling out of bed.
    I think if they know your passionate about it then they are ok with it.

  29. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Berkeley Mike
    without seeing a picture of your bike.

  30. #30

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    Guaranteed to work

    1. stop riding, sit around drinking beer and get fat... that'll show her.
    2. Everytime your ride time is denied, drink beer until you get sauced and fart a lot. If you go out, act like a jerk to wait staff, cashiers, etc...
    When she demands an explanation just tell her you haven't been feeling like yourself since you've been off the bike.

    3... extreme step... not for everyone... dump her and hook up with someone who rides.

  31. #31

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    she can shut the hell up yo, i ride when the hell i like and my food better be ready when i get home otherwise im taking her credit card away and sending her back to taiwan.

  32. #32
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    I met my wife while riding my local trail...she rides with me, races with me and encourages me to ride as much as possible. I can't even begin to express how much i love my wife! ...granted, there is far more to our relationship than riding, but sharing the same passions makes life all that much sweeter.

  33. #33
    No Fear
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    Im not married nor yet had a GF but I always prefer riding to family and therefore I loose family gatherings which are mostly at the holidays ( ride time).
    But I have a friend who’s 45 and has two children but his ride time is twice as mine. He is always on the bike in town on the trail and………..He is an XC coach and a member of the National MTB fed. Before every race he spents many weeks for finding and managing race trails .He is retired from his previous job and now he stops ridding only for sleeping and ridding.
    I don’t know how he comes up with his family.
    A rider/online bike shop owner/Mechanic From Iran

  34. #34
    Team Blindspot
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    I'm an early riser anyway, so when the summertime hits, the sun is coming up around 5:30. I'm 15minutes from half a dozen front range rides, so I can get a ride in and be home before 8am, usually before anybody is up yet. I usually average 4-6 rides per week.

    Good Luck
    Astigmatic Visionary

  35. #35
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    Like others have implied, learn to wake up early. My wife is pretty good about letting me ride, but since she works evenings (I work days) and we have 2 kids under the age of 3, its been hard this year. I've learned that the only time I can regularly ride is before work. This means getting up at 4-4:30 am so I can be on the trail by 5:30. If I do this, I can get in a 1.5 hour ride before I have to head to work.
    "If you suck, that means I'm better. The more you suck, the better I am. So. Let me count the ways you suck." - Scribb

  36. #36
    ...the wave won't brek
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    I just plan my rides on the same night the GF has her thing.

    My SO is a musician she plays in the the local Concert Band, as well as a Jazz band. This has her tied up two nights a week. I co-inside my rides with those nights because she is already out that way no one feels left our because we are both out doing stuff at the same time.

    I understand that this goes out the window if you add in kids, but we are not at that stage yet so...
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  37. #37
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    14 years later, one son, and I still get Tues/Thurs/Sunday as 'My' days...She gets Mon/Wed/Sat and Fridays are unwind nights....that way, we each get our space, get to choose the activity of the evening, and the other half decides if they want to participate or not so we arent feeling neglectful of each other....seems to work for us

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