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  1. #1
    This place needs an enema
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    Ground beef.

    I'd left Steamboat at sunset. Narrowly avoided rolling right up into the business end of a skunk while still on pavement. Swerved left while she dodged right, and the encounter was over before my heart rate had peaked. Note to self: saving batteries by running lights on low may not always pay dividends. I rolled into the deepening gloam sensing impending rain, hoping it would stay beyond that western ridge. A bit later I forded a small creek, taking great care to link stepping stones to keep feet dry. Red skies at night, sailors delight? Wet shoes at dusk, campers disgust. Resumed riding, noting the glint of frost in grassy meadows, the steam from sensed but not seen rivulets. Relaxed briefly knowing it was more likely to snow than rain. Stiffened back up when considering what would happen to the surface conditions if it were to snow then rain.



    Deep into the evening I arrived at a creek of indeterminate depth. Dropped the bike and walked, poked, prodded to find a way across. None obvious without foot submersion. Paused to appreciate currently dry toes, socks, shoes. Paused longer to consider how they'd look and feel in the wee hours -- once wetted -- as small flakes began to twirl through my headlamp beam. Decided to bivy until daylight.



    Woke in the early gloam, shivering not from uncertainty, anxiety or fear, but from straight up brute cold. Not too cold to have prepared for, but colder than I did prepare for. Travel light, freeze at night. Moments later I splash across that stream -- the one that halted progress. Water warmer than air, shin deep, welcoming. Back to riding, the cold breeze created by said motion chills my feet, literally freezes my shoes. Noting the mini icicles hanging off my Lakes I have the presence of mind to wrench feet loose of pedals before stopping, forestalling an awkward fall, an injury.

    Cues show a climb looming. Legs protest but the rest of me welcomes the exertion: Work equals heat. Rhythm is sought but not found. Saddle sores complain so I shift and squirm to find a position that appeases them. Good. Now hands complain. All will get their chance today - take a number, wait your turn. Dieseling along up the grade a noise approaches. Fluid by any measure compared to my labored breath and arrhythmic jerking. A ranch truck, going my way, barely moving faster than I when the road would allow so much more. Being respectful, maybe. Not wanting to disturb the delicate compromise between painful feet, ass, and hands, I fail to lift a hand to wave as it passes, but exaggerate a nod of the head. No response from within the truck. So loud is the exhaust I can no longer hear my own ragged exhalations.



    Then a new noise - something like sandpaper, perhaps 10 grit. A rope off the bumper of the truck is looped over the neck of a cow, one that appears intact if not healthy, aside from the fact that it seems to be melting into the road as it is dragged along. 1/3 of it has already been consumed by this process. So even is the erosion that the upper 2/3 of the carcass could pass for a live ruminant were you to prop it in a field with the correct aspect turned to. Behind the cow the road is painted green: the color of alpine grasses recently consumed but as yet undigested. The smell that follows is not of grasses, not of beef, not of exhaust. It is unearthly, sickening. Not rot precisely but a cousin perhaps. Between dry heaves, still metronomically ticking over 98rpm, I think my thanks for not yet having eaten this morning, knowing the contents of my gut would quickly join that of the cow's on the now slick road.



    Minutes pass as the truck slowly opens a gap. Never before have I wished that a driver were less respectful, if indeed that is whatís happening. Perhaps it isnít. Perhaps he has no destination in mind, intends to drive until only a sodden end of rope remains, then to get on to his chores before the morning is too far advanced. I glance at my cues and note that my next turn is a mere half mile away. Anyone can do anything for 7 more minutes, even if they donít want to.



    With the otherworldly scent still thick in my nose I begin descending toward the Colorado. Miles of descent, steep and slick with melting frost turning the surface ice-like. Frozen hands, frozen feet ó what I would give to switch the warm blood from my nose to either of those. Bottomed out in fog, soaked head to toe, I quickly cross the bridge and begin climbing out. Knees complain, ankles throb, neck is unwilling to suspend its ponderous load. Another glance at the cues: Something like 56 miles, mostly uphill, to the next burg with promise of a burger, a shake, new hope.

  2. #2
    since 4/10/2009
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    aw, man. with my nose, I'd have been heaving on the side of that gravel road pretty much instantly. my stomach is churning rather uncomfortably right now, even.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    aw, man. with my nose, I'd have been heaving on the side of that gravel road pretty much instantly. my stomach is churning rather uncomfortably right now, even.
    No sh*t! 🤮

    Thanks for sharing Mike, I think.

    Amazing writing as usual. I was there with you, unfortunately.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  4. #4
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    What, no dragging cow photos?
    =sParty
    disciplesofdirt.org

    We don't quit riding because we get old.
    We get old because we quit riding.

  5. #5
    This place needs an enema
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparticus View Post
    What, no dragging cow photos?
    =sParty

    Accidentally vomited on the lens.

  6. #6
    Cycologist
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    Uh, thanks for sharing?
    Quote Originally Posted by Oh My Sack! View Post
    Remember, there's always quilting and knitting if pedalling becomes too tough.

  7. #7
    Snow Dog
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    so is that a common practice out there?
    Go practice. Figure it out. - Fleas

    15 Surly Krampus - King Amongst Bikes
    LET IT SNOW!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by sXeXBMXer View Post
    so is that a common practice out there?
    Itís the Wild, Wild, West, so anything is possible. Most likely what the ranchers did back in the day and an old timer just did it as a common chore.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  9. #9
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    double post
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Itís the Wild, Wild, West, so anything is possible. Most likely what the ranchers did back in the day and an old timer just did it as a common chore.
    "Anything is possible", acknowledged. But why? Why drag a carcass? Wouldn't it be better to leave it in a field for other critters to eat? And if its infected and has to be transported, why smear it all over the road?

    This isn't right with me.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by bingemtbr View Post
    "Anything is possible", acknowledged. But why? Why drag a carcass? Wouldn't it be better to leave it in a field for other critters to eat? And if its infected and has to be transported, why smear it all over the road?

    This isn't right with me.
    I agree, doesn't make sense to me, either.

    Sent from my VS995 using Tapatalk

  12. #12
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    "Anyone can do anything for 7 more minutes, even if they donít want to."

    This pretty much sums up everything from landing on the moon to the Khmer Rouge.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Itís the Wild, Wild, West, so anything is possible. Most likely what the ranchers did back in the day and an old timer just did it as a common chore.
    Quote Originally Posted by bingemtbr View Post
    "Anything is possible", acknowledged. But why? Why drag a carcass? Wouldn't it be better to leave it in a field for other critters to eat? And if its infected and has to be transported, why smear it all over the road?

    This isn't right with me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    I agree, doesn't make sense to me, either.

    Sent from my VS995 using Tapatalk
    yeah...doesn't make sense...but whatev's...as long as it was not alive to start...if so, then I hope someone does that to one of the drivers kin....karma, ya know...
    Go practice. Figure it out. - Fleas

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  14. #14
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    Ha ha - wondered (momentarily) why this wasn't in Rider Down...

    -F
    It's never easier - you just go faster.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by bingemtbr View Post
    "Anything is possible", acknowledged. But why? Why drag a carcass? Wouldn't it be better to leave it in a field for other critters to eat? And if its infected and has to be transported, why smear it all over the road?

    This isn't right with me.
    Because of the weight of a cow. Throwing it in the back is not so easy. Dead cow, drag it away to dispose of. Iím sure itís a pretty common thing in wide open ranch land in the huge wide open west. You city slickers wouldnít understand.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Because of the weight of a cow. Throwing it in the back is not so easy. Dead cow, drag it away to dispose of. Iím sure itís a pretty common thing in wide open ranch land in the huge wide open west. You city slickers wouldnít understand.
    I saw plenty of dead cattle just left out on the range during my time working out west.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    I saw plenty of dead cattle just left out on the range during my time working out west.
    Good way to spread disease to the rest of the herd. Plus youíre talking about Texans, nuff said.

    Drag it or load it up and get it away from the rest of the herd to prevent disease and predators from being attracted to the live cattle.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Good way to spread disease to the rest of the herd. Plus youíre talking about Texans, nuff said.

    Drag it or load it up and get it away from the rest of the herd to prevent disease and predators from being attracted to the live cattle.
    actually, Utah. I lived in E. TX and didn't deal much with rangelands like in UT. In E. TX, ranches were much more contained and ranchers would use their easily accessible tractors for this kind of thing.

  19. #19
    Meatbomb
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    Quote Originally Posted by peter.thedrake View Post
    "Anyone can do anything for 7 more minutes, even if they donít want to."
    Try holding your breath for 7 more minutes.....

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Itís the Wild, Wild, West, so anything is possible. Most likely what the ranchers did back in the day and an old timer just did it as a common chore.
    Quote Originally Posted by bingemtbr View Post
    "Anything is possible", acknowledged. But why? Why drag a carcass? Wouldn't it be better to leave it in a field for other critters to eat? And if its infected and has to be transported, why smear it all over the road?

    This isn't right with me.
    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Because of the weight of a cow. Throwing it in the back is not so easy. Dead cow, drag it away to dispose of. Iím sure itís a pretty common thing in wide open ranch land in the huge wide open west. You city slickers wouldnít understand.
    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Good way to spread disease to the rest of the herd. Plus youíre talking about Texans, nuff said.

    Drag it or load it up and get it away from the rest of the herd to prevent disease and predators from being attracted to the live cattle.
    I get this, and am an admitted City Slicker, so definitely not used the happenings in the country, esp out west. My uncles all have dairy farms, but those cows go to slaughter usually
    Go practice. Figure it out. - Fleas

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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Because of the weight of a cow. Throwing it in the back is not so easy. Dead cow, drag it away to dispose of. Iím sure itís a pretty common thing in wide open ranch land in the huge wide open west. You city slickers wouldnít understand.
    Sorry DJ. I am not buying your explanation. Chainsaw, knife, axe, whatever...the rancher can cut and quarter the carcass as needed. And I'm not a typical city slicker. There's a few ranchers/farmers in my family, my cousin is a butcher and I've still never heard anything of this sort ever. I also frequently buy a 1/4 to 1/2 cow (grass fed, no GMO's, & 2 weeks dry age) for our deep freeze. I realize the weight of the animal all too well.

    Now, if this occurred in another country, then yeah. Its the dark ages and they don't know better. In the States, no way. I would've recorded the license plate and driver to the local authorities and let them tell me "its standard practice" in these parts. Which its not. I know from a similar cow meets 18 wheel semi 1 mi east of Navajo rocks (near Moab). Long story which didn't end well for the cow or semi driver. Be careful when driving through open range.

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