Contest - but never a winner- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1

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    Contest - but never a winner

    What does dictionary.com have to say about the word contest?

    con·test ( P ) Pronunciation Key (kntst)
    n.
    A struggle for superiority or victory between rivals.
    A competition, especially one in which entrants perform separately and are rated by judges. See Synonyms at conflict.

    What kind of contest never has a winner?

    The answer...

    The photo caption contest(?)

    The photo caption contest is not a contest at all.

    old_dude

  2. #2
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    Anyone have a good photo...

    Of a dog's snout in an old man's crotch? That could make for a good caption 'contest'...

  3. #3

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    Or...

    Quote Originally Posted by rideit
    Of a dog's snout in an old man's crotch? That could make for a good caption 'contest'...
    You seem to think that a dog's snout in the crotch is such fun.

    You could just provide one of your own photos, of a dog's snout in your crotch.

    I would guess that you have a whole photo album dedicated to just that sort of thing.

    old_dude

  4. #4
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    Guess who's back, back again, Whacky's back, tell some friends.

    TROLL ALERT
    Riding slowly since 1977.

  5. #5
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    a nightmare...or a fantasy come true?

    hmm.. The sight of the three dogs there— a pair of clownish chows and what looked to be a shepherd mix—did nothing but irritate him. He recognized this trio; they were the advance guard of the army of dogs that dropped their excrement all over the lawn, dug up his flower beds, and, when he tried to shoo them, looked right through him as if he didn't exist. It wasn't that he had anything against dogs, per se—it was their destructiveness he objected to, their arrogance, as if they owned the whole world and it was their privilege to do as they liked with it. He was about to step to the back door and chase them off, when the figure he'd first seen—the shadow beneath the forsythia bush—emerged. It was no animal, he realized with a shock, but a woman, a young woman dressed all in black, with her black hair hanging wet in her face and the clothes stuck to her like a second skin, down on all fours like a dog herself, sniffing. He was dumbfounded. As stunned and amazed as if someone had just stepped into the kitchen and slapped him till his head rolled back on his shoulders.

    He'd been aware of the rumors—there was a new couple in the neighborhood, over on F Street, and the woman was a little strange, dashing through people's yards at any hour of the day or night, baying at the moon, and showing her teeth to anyone who got in her way—but he'd dismissed them as some sort of suburban legend. Now here she was, in his yard, violating his privacy, in the company of a pack of dogs he'd like to see shot—and their owners, too. He didn't know what to do. He was frozen in his own kitchen, the omelette pan sending up a metallic stink of incineration. And then the three dogs lifted their heads as if they'd heard something in the distance, the thunder boomed overhead, and suddenly they leaped the fence in tandem and were gone. The woman rose up out of the mud at this point—she was wearing a sodden turtleneck, jeans, a watch cap—locked eyes with him across the expanse of the rain-screened yard for just an instant, or maybe he was imagining this part of it, and then she turned and took the fence in a single bound, vanishing into the rain.

  6. #6
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    And then, across town...

    Our kissing bliss was interrupted by a creaking key.

    ``What the *HELL* !!''

    Rikki was calmer. She gathered the soaking sheets around her and dived into
    them.

    It was my job, evidently, to face the oncoming fire. I knew I needed my
    shorts to do my duty.

    A snout eased its way through the opening dor accompanied by the humid smell
    of the night air. The protruding proboscis appeared to be very interested in
    the fragrant odors left by all three varieties of champagne.

    I immediately recognized the offending nostrils as those of a dog. The
    quivering nose belonged to a now-familiar animal.

    Gripping my shorts in both hands, I'd just managed to cover my dripping
    manhood when the owner sashayed through the open door as if she owned the
    place.

    Long blonde hair and two muscular tanned thighs bursting out of a tight pair
    of white designer shorts. Tennis, anyone?

    But you couldn't play ball in those fancy knee-length cowboy boots. And
    their owner didn't swing a racket. Instead, she shook her big flaxen hairdo
    and inhaled deeply, imitating her familiar.

    Even if I'd had the idea of concealing the activities within, that was not
    an option. My only choice was to go on the attack.

    ``<HEY!! What are you doing in a private hotel room, HUH??''

    ``Stay!'' She caught the curious cur by its collar and shoved him out the
    door, frustrating the yearning prober with her thigh. It was the dog that
    Rikki and I had seen at the rest area.

    ``You'd better sit down and shut up because I got somethin' on yew!'' she
    sniffed, reflecting the local drawl in a low, sexy snarl.

  7. #7
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    And suddenly appeared...


  8. #8
    Turner Homer
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit
    Not this again, someone shoot me.

  9. #9
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    Some beta...

    GLAD TO MEET YA!
    NOSE-TO-CROTCH SNIFFING.

    We’ve all had that awkward moment when a friend’s dog greets us not with an extended paw to shake but a bee-line to the crotch for a quick sniff. The dog is busy smelling clues about who you are while you and your friend turn beet red.

    Dogs do the nose-to-crotch greeting because they are blessed with supersensitive noses. In the dog world, a nose-to-rear end greeting is as common as a handshake. A couple of good sniffs can tell a dog the gender, social status, and favorite foods of the one being sniffed. Dogs that know each other will often greet by sniffing each other’s faces. Dogs of equal rank will simultaneously sniff each other’s butts. A dog on the lower social rung will wait for the other dog to sniff under its tail before returning the gesture.

    So, what can you do the next time your friend’s dog comes bounding your way, about to target your crotch? Step toward the dog, making it back away, and firmly say, "No." Or have him obey a "Sit" command and then approach. Don’t back away; to a dog, that’s a sign of submission, and it will be more determined to take the first step and introduce itself doggie-style.

    AND...http://www.wordarium.com/archives/003000.html

  10. #10
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    Maybe we need to LISTEN..

    To old_dude...http://forums.macrumors.com/showpost...9&postcount=11

    But in Australia...http://www.dogsinthenews.com/issues/...es/021130a.htm
    "An intimate sniff not an assault if performed by a dog, judge rules"
    Sydney Morning Herald
    29 Nov 2002
    Last edited by rideit; 01-16-2005 at 11:05 PM.

  11. #11

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    Earth calling CMDC

    Quote Originally Posted by CDMC
    Guess who's back, back again, Whacky's back, tell some friends.

    TROLL ALERT
    Canine Mouth on Dick Craver (CMDC), if you can take your head out of your a$$ long enough to look around, you would realize, that I never left. I guess you spend too much time on the beastiality chat groups.

    My opinion has still not changed. At least one lower court judge agrees with me, even if the Australian supreme court over-turned that decision.

    I think, the error in case was that the dog was tried and not the dog owner.

    If the case was against the dog owner, and the owner was shown to be in control of the dog, I would suggest that the decision may well have gone the other way. I have not argued that the dog is guilty of sexual assault, but rather, the owner who controls it.

    It is not about what is natural for the dog. It is about what is natural for people. If the dog is in the presence of its owner, then the owner is responsible and accountable for the dog's actions. The owner should know what is potentially offensive to other people and should prevent the dog from being offensive.

    old_dude

  12. #12
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    The fact that you are still obsessed with the subject shows how warped you really are.
    Riding slowly since 1977.

  13. #13
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    More disturbing mental images for the_dude..

    Last edited by rideit; 01-16-2005 at 10:32 PM.

  14. #14
    Trail rider and racer
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    That'll teach you not to steal from shops!
    Trev!

  15. #15
    Trail rider and racer
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    As for the last link. Thats best not even posted on these boards in future. Thats fairly out there and rather foul.
    Trev!

  16. #16
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    You are solid right...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor!
    As for the last link. Thats best not even posted on these boards in future. Thats fairly out there and rather foul.
    I just couldn't resist...it all is blacked out, FWIW. I will keep the random stuff to a low simmer. Funny, though, amongst the die hard reprobates!

  17. #17

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    It's your obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by CDMC
    The fact that you are still obsessed with the subject shows how warped you really are.
    That's funny. I have not mentioned it since that thread ended. I have even overlooked a few little digs buried deep in other threads. I have been content to keep the peace. I did not even start it up, this time.

    I would likely have even let this dig go, if the comment had been lost deep in a larger conversation. However, since it was up front and center, it was a clear personal challenge. It demanded a response.

    I did not even argue the original point. I just targeted the one individual, in kind.

    I was quite content to respond to the dig and let it go. If there was no dig, there would have been no reply, and no discussion. If you don't want to be on the receiving end, don't take the first shot. Taking a shot is announcing that you are willing to exchange shots, since I have made it very clear that I have no reservations about shooting back.

    It seems some others are not content to keep the peace. Hey, I can sling it with the best of them. I am not afraid to take on the same lot yet again, including you.

    If you haven't figured it out, the reason I posted in the first place was because, I think children should be protected, and I was angry about the thread where some irresponsible dog owers let their dog's harass two kids on the trail and pi$$ on their bikes. I felt like spanking some irresponsible dog owners. I wanted to tell them in no uncertain terms to control their dogs.

    My topic brough them out, and I got to lay into them. They came like bees to honey.

    I know I ripped into the right ones, because there were a few posts from responsible owners who said things like, "I am a dog trainer and I train dogs to stay away from people's crotches." If you do that, you also train your dogs to behave in more important ways.

    That is also why, I have let such digs go, since I do not consider the topic that important. Sure, I don't want some dog's snout in my crotch, and think dog owners should prevent that sort of thing, but it's not really a major issue for me. I also think I should not have to deal with a strange dog on its terms, since it is equipped with dangerous teeth and attitude. However, I have been able to effectively handle every dog that I have ever encountered as an adult. My only real issues with aggressive dogs, occurred when I was a child.

    The real issue for me was and continues to be irresponsible dog owners who let their dogs upset children. Children are not as well equiped to deal with aggressive dogs, as a large adult male human such as myself. However, nobody would amit to allowing their dogs to harass children. I had to bring them out another way.

    I figured that anyone who let's their dog ram its nose in people's crotches, would be the same lot that let's their dog's harass kids. They don't respect others and their personal space.

    Now you, on the other hand, had to jump in on this conversation, at the first opportunity. You were not even directly involved in the discussion, but could not let it go. You had to jump right in anyway. Your obsession is plain to see.

    Even more indicative of your obsession, is that you have added a comment about it to your signature, and so included the topic in every post that you have made for months.

    That clearly demonstrates who is obsessed, which is you, and if, by your own assertion, that is a guage of being warped, then it is clear that you are warped.

    The combination of your actions and your comments, is a testament to your stupidity.

    You have in effect announced that you are warped, by your own rules, in fairly plain fashion.

    Not only do you demonstrate your stupidity, but also your cowardice, since you have made a call for support from others. You cannot meet the challenge on your own.

    Further, you may have noticed, that I never objected to your signature.

    I do not feel that I should have to "prostitute myself to a dog", or in other words accomodate strange aggressive dog's by accepting their bizarre challenging behaviour. It's a catch phase, a slogan, for promoting an idea.

    I have no problem, actually interacting with familiar well behaved dogs, and have played with them many times. I tolerate dog's and have even grown to enjoy their company, to the extent that they remain inoffensive. Not all dog's are offensive. Indeed, most are not.

    Thanks for the free advertising. All you have done is support the cause, by promoting the slogan. Maybe you could print some posters and hand them out too.

    Now, even though your posts are clearly the blatant mean spirited attacks, of a fool, devoid of any meanful discussion, I will at least offer some meaningful discussion.

    I know that I am not the only person who feels that way about dogs. I know more than one person who takes a steel pointed XC ski pole on their walks, specifically to ward off strange dogs. They are not interested in dealing with dominance and territorial challenges of uncontrolled aggressive dog's, on the dog's terms.

    Also, the two dogs that I referred to, in the original post, now respect my space. I came down a hill at good speed, rounded a corner, had to slam on the brakes, and stopped my bike about a centimeter from one of the dog's noses, after both dogs jumped back. Since then, they keep their distance.

    Another time, an unleased and unrestrained dog chased me, after I slowed to a crawl and passed it, and its owner. I simply outran the dog, on my bike. The owner had to chase after the dog, to catch up. I expect he will hold the dog's collar next time, if he wants to avoid having to run half a kilometer after his dog.

    On the legal and public opinion front, the legal treatment of dogs and general public attitude about dog's may be changing. After some recent dog attacks in Toronto, their has been some discussion about stopping the practice of putting dogs on trial. Instead, if new legislation is seriously considered and introduced, their owners would be put on trial.

    It seems I am not alone in considering that owners should be accountable for the negative behaviour of their dogs. Governments are starting to consider this, in response to public outcry.

    So you can forget your self righteous indignation. You may have some aggressive support from other negligent dog owners, but the general public is beginning to shift its attitude away from favouring dog owners, in cases of offensive dogs, that do not respect personal space.

    It is my opinion, that you can expect more of this kind of attitude in the future. I believe this is a result of changes in social structure. Society continues to become more urban and we are moving further from a farming and rural culture, where dogs were a more necessary and acceptable part of the community.

    The bulk of society now lives in cities, compared to a 150 years ago when most lived in the country. With the growing number of urban dewellers who have never owned a dog, the ratio of dog owners, compared to those inexperienced with dogs, is shifting to favour those who have never owned a dog. Laws about dogs were drafted when circumstances were much different.

    In rural settings, dogs have room to roam, without constant exposure to strange people. In cities, dogs are less common and they do not have the same freedom of movement, without encountering strange people. As the population density in cities increases with less space per person, the situation is only getting worse.

    This situation is bound to lead to conflicts, since poorly trained and/or uncontrolled dogs tend to challenge strange people. Dogs are used by many people as weapons, to provide personal and property security. The resulting injury and emotional damage cannot continue to be ignored, and there is a growing perception that until owners are held accountable, the situation will not change.

    This problem is highlighted by the presence of many dogs that are well trained and/or controlled, that do not negatively interact with strange people. When the majority of dogs are well behaved and/or controlled by their owners, those that act in an offensive uncontrolled manner, become obvious exceptions warranting punishment. If public perception is that owners must be held accountable, then owners will be punished.

    The writing is on the wall. Maybe it won't happen soon, but it looks like it will happen eventually. The days, when dog owners can let their dogs run amok free of legal consequences to themselves, are numbered.

    Maybe then, there will be no more posts about aggressive dogs harassing children.

    old_dude

  18. #18
    The endless excuses guy
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    You guys have too much time on your hands. Wow

  19. #19

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    OK, I have, for months, read this banter with amusement, but your incendiary remarks have even forced me to make my comments on this.

    I have a very well-trained husky who is very friendly with strangers and children. He is passive and well-situated to allowing my 2-year-old niece crawl on him, pull his tail, etc. We are talking about one of the friendliest, most non-aggressive dogs ever.

    However, even he, in his exuberance, is prone to shove his nose in the occasional crotch of a visitor. A quick "No", ends the behavior, and maybe there could be a few 5 seconds of embarrased apology, but NEVER have I viewed a person appear to feel violated or assaulted. Everyone has an Aunt that greets them with big sloppy, unwanted kisses, too. The Aunt should know better, we don't bring assault charges on her, either!

    Dogs need to be controlled, but to a certain level. We housebreak them, teach them not to bite (except on command as the case may be), but there is only a certain level you can get to. You have to recognize that no matter how well they are trained, they are dogs, and they will act like dogs occasionally.

    I realize that my comments have added nothing further to this discussion, and there was no reason for me to chime in, but I just had to, as well as to add another comment that does nothing to further the discussion: I hope you're joking on all this, because if not, you're a freakin' headcase.

  20. #20
    Cleavage Of The Tetons
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    He He He...

    http://www.fordogtrainer.com/dog-tra...bite-suit.html

    This should help.

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1298814/posts

    Remember, take your meds regularly.

    http://www.dogsinthenews.com/issues/...es/011023a.htm

    And keep up on the news

    http://www.blindkiss.com/articles/newyear.shtml

    New years resolutions

    This device should help
    Bowlingual Dog Translation Device
    $119.99; [email protected]; http://www.takara-usa.com/



    Don’t laugh, your dog might be hatching a conspiracy against you! It should come as no surprise this quirky widget comes from Japan, the same country that gave us virtual pets and Pokemon. Forging new ground in dog-human communication, the Bowlingual translator gives voice to your dog’s emotions, which you may be surprised to learn are more diverse than “I’m hungry!” and “I have to pee!” The translator unit may be superfluous in situations where the dog thinks “I’m gonna rip your tender, fleshy arm off!” but replies with stunning accuracy “I’m glad to see you!” when your dog aggressively thrusts his snout into your groin.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by rideit; 01-17-2005 at 02:24 PM.

  21. #21
    Ride Instigator
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    Quote Originally Posted by old_dude
    You seem to think that a dog's snout in the crotch is such fun.

    You could just provide one of your own photos, of a dog's snout in your crotch.

    I would guess that you have a whole photo album dedicated to just that sort of thing.

    old_dude
    What is the fixation with dogs with crotchs anyway???

    Hmmm...I guess they're more human than I thought...

  22. #22
    Your bike sucks
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    My favorite troll. Don't change, ever.

    Anyone ever notice that this guy's registered B-day is April 1st? Not particularly subtle.

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