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  1. #1
    Life Is Short
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    You Know You're OLD when.... Thread

    Went to the local home & garden center and bought a chaise lounger for my wife. I asked this totally white-haired gentleman (prolly mid 50's-60) where they are and told me to hang on and went to get one from the back.

    Well he put it into my shopping cart and asked if I needed to do more shopping besides the
    pot that was in the cart, I said no. So he wheels the cart up to the front and announces,
    "Oh Ashley, please ring up $79.99 on sale, for this lounger and make sure he gets a senior discount!"

    Egads! I told him, thanks a lot! Do I look that old? He said don't you want your 3% discount? I said yeah but
    you should have announced that over the PA system. We both laughed.

    After checking out, yes I did get the 3% off, I told him, hey thanks for getting the lounger.
    He then asked me if I needed help getting it into my vehicle. In my old man voice I said
    I think I can do it sonny. We laughed. On the way to the car I was contemplating suicide.

  2. #2
    Life Is Short
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    ...also when you try to grow a goatee and you have white hairs on it

  3. #3
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    You have more hair on your back than on you head


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
    I was shocked to learn that being 40 meant that I was a 'veteran'.....I still believe that I am 29

  4. #4
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    You stop buying 10lb bags of whey protein in favor of Glucosamine with MSM from Costco.

  5. #5
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    I started a smilier thread a couple months ago.

    When I was a suppressed Filipino white boy growing up in Santa Cruz, I, a'top my freestyle BMX bike sliding down handrails, busting 360's off loading docks and leaving black rainbows on every wall possible - loved Public Enemy.

    I always wanted a Public Enemy hoodie, but 1) didn't have internet and 2) never went to a concert.

    Well, in my mid-30's, I finally bought a P.E. hoodie, and I was so proud.

    I was wearing it one day at a local Whole Foods and the 19yr. old girl with blue hair, nerd glasses and piercings asks me, "So... is that, like, a band or something?"

    I was offended.

  6. #6
    Frt Range, CO
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    When you start thinking Aunt Bee might be kinda nice to shack up with (she cooks and laughs at jokes, cleans too!)


  7. #7
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    You know you're getting old when you start to forget where you left things, like your teeth.
    Round and round we go

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by pursuiter View Post
    When you start thinking Aunt Bee might be kinda nice to shack up with (she cooks and laughs at jokes, cleans too!)

    Or maybe even just knowing who "Aunt Bee" is, lol, just sayin'
    Round and round we go

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatcat View Post
    ...also when you try to grow a goatee and you have white hairs on it
    I've had grey facial hair for..... well, for a long time. And I'm not old dammit
    39.5506° N, 107.3242° W

  10. #10
    since 4/10/2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatcat View Post
    ...also when you try to grow a goatee and you have white hairs on it
    I have white hairs in my goatee and I'm only 31, fer cryin' out loud!

  11. #11
    meow meow
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I started a smilier thread a couple months ago.

    When I was a suppressed Filipino white boy growing up in Santa Cruz, I, a'top my freestyle BMX bike sliding down handrails, busting 360's off loading docks and leaving black rainbows on every wall possible - loved Public Enemy.

    I always wanted a Public Enemy hoodie, but 1) didn't have internet and 2) never went to a concert.

    Well, in my mid-30's, I finally bought a P.E. hoodie, and I was so proud.

    I was wearing it one day at a local Whole Foods and the 19yr. old girl with blue hair, nerd glasses and piercings asks me, "So... is that, like, a band or something?"

    I was offended.
    sounds like a stupid vampire weekend loving hipster. you are not that old.

  12. #12
    live long and huck
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    You know that you're getting old when you're laying in bed on your back, and you realize that your sack is touching the mattress.
    Low and slack.

  13. #13
    ride more
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    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    You know that you're getting old when you're laying in bed on your back, and you realize that your sack is touching the mattress.
    Holy crap, thats so funny......'cause its true.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I957 using Tapatalk 2

  14. #14
    heaven help me
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    White pubes.

  15. #15
    Life Is Short
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    More True Experiences:

    Not getting carded when walking into a bar.

    8 years ago I was looking at a Fit, FBM and S&M bike. The bikeshop guy asked if it was
    for my son. Said I dunno and left.

    Intern at work told me I don't look that old for my age.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    You know that you're getting old when you're laying in bed on your back, and you realize that your sack is touching the mattress.
    Thanks alot for the mental image.

  17. #17
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    When you cough or sneeze really hard, you have to clench your butt-cheeks together as you are a threat to crap your pants! I really hate when that happens
    Currently reviewing an Ibex Maroc 29er

  18. #18
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    When people that graduated the same year as you are getting elected in office.

    Also the other day I was listening to the radio and had one of those "wtf is this crap?" moments.

  19. #19
    live long and huck
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    Quote Originally Posted by taterbug View Post
    When you cough or sneeze really hard, you have to clench your butt-cheeks together as you are a threat to crap your pants! I really hate when that happens
    LOL!! But you're never too old for + rep!
    Low and slack.

  20. #20
    Life Is Short
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    When your buddy tells you his kid just had a kid.

  21. #21
    barely a mtbr
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    Quote Originally Posted by RazeR1970 View Post
    You have more hair on your back than on you head
    +1 Came in to post same thing.

    Played "World Cup" with my son's soccer team. Five teams of two in front of the net for corner kicks barefoot. We played for 20 minutes and my son and I won. But today I can barely walk. Calves and ankles are killing me!

  22. #22
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    When I fart, dust comes out.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

  23. #23
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    You know you're old when you remember a time that Gary Fisher actually made and sold the bikes with his name on them...

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ltdan12a View Post
    You know you're old when you remember a time that Gary Fisher actually made and sold the bikes with his name on them...
    And Gary Klein and Keith Bontrager. Miss both of their bikes. Trek doesn't quite carry on their legacies.

  25. #25
    STEEL IS REAL
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    When you can't quite remember what you were gonna post in the the first place???
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  26. #26
    Beer Me!
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    Two recent experiences.

    You can't tell the difference between some high schoolers and undergrad college kids.

    When Emo kids walk by and you mumble "young punks" under your breath.

    99% of professional athletes in team sports are now younger than you.
    "Any wheel size is better than sitting at a computer all day." -Myself

  27. #27
    I dd what you see there.
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    When you spend more time remembering epic parties, instead of having them.
    2002 Cannondale Jekyll 800
    2011 Trek Cronus CX Ultimate

  28. #28
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    When your favorite actors are dying.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

  29. #29
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    i dont like being called ma'am. Miss is fine, but ma'am? Makes me feel like a frumpy toad woman with an apron flopped over her big ol gunt.
    fap

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    i dont like being called ma'am. Miss is fine, but ma'am? Makes me feel like a frumpy toad woman with an apron flopped over her big ol gunt.
    My wife freaked the first time that happened---"He just Ma'am'd me!!"

    It was all better the next day when she got carded for alcohol.

  31. #31
    STEEL IS REAL
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    a frumpy toad woman with an apron flopped over her big ol gunt.
    Hilarious!!!
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  32. #32
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    2 recent experiences:

    1) when you see a Klien Mantra on the trail and you actually know what it is (saw one this weekend, older guy riding with a bunch of younger people, probably a church youth group or something, and complimented his bike, much to his pleasure!).

    2) when you are looking at full-face helmets in the LBS, and the clerk walks up and asks what kind of riding your kid does (it was for me!).
    '11 Specialized Enduro Expert for the trails
    '13 Felt Z4 for the road

  33. #33
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    Quote Originally Posted by ambassadorhawg View Post
    Hilarious!!!
    well? how else do you picture a "ma'am"? she would have short gray curly hair, moderately overweight, and probably pleated khakis that are pulled way up over the FUPA
    fap

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    well? how else do you picture a "ma'am"? she would have short gray curly hair, moderately overweight, and probably pleated khakis that are pulled way up over the FUPA
    where i grew up, not calling people sir/maam was reason for laps/swats from the teachers.

    needless to say i sir/maam almost everyone.

  35. #35
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    when I was a kid I can remember my grandparents had a party line..that was where they shared the (one) phone line with the neighbors next door (each house had a slighty different ring if I recall).

    of course, the phones were all rotary dial; ever show a rotary dial phone to a 12 year old and ask him to make a call?

    hey remember stepping on the pedals to brake your bike? or cartoons ONLY on saturday morning on the 3 channels on the t.v? ...
    bound to cover just a little more ground

  36. #36
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    I get called my wife's Dad. When I get caught by my wife looking at girls my age, say 18-40, my wife informs me that I'm 52. When I try wearing my spandex shorts or short cutoffs I used to wear just 15 years ago. Many of my high school friends are dead.
    lean forward

  37. #37
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    I get called sir all the time these days, makes me want to smack them.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    i dont like being called ma'am. Miss is fine, but ma'am? Makes me feel like a frumpy toad woman with an apron flopped over her big ol gunt.
    I don't know why, but you just made it move.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

  39. #39
    bust a move
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    When most of the population looks younger than you

    When you search to find the oldest player in every sport or event and cheer for them

    Sudden and frequent urination (I just went damn it!)

  40. #40
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    When you can remember having a six digit phone number and milk was delivered to the front step.

  41. #41
    El Gato Malo
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    When you remember helping your Dad fix a flat on the car by patching the inner tube.

  42. #42
    I'm just messing with you
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatcat View Post
    Not getting carded when walking into a bar.
    or when the cashier at 7-11 asks for your ID, then busts out laughing saying "Just kidding"
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  43. #43
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    When you go to look at a 24" bmx bike, say you will take it, and the guy asks if you want to bring your kid in to make sure it fits. Also, when you wrench your back out in the driveway on a test ride to make sure your derailler is adjusted correctly. Both happened to me in last week. Do not ride parallel over garden hoses.
    Riding slowly since 1977.

  44. #44
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    Quote Originally Posted by ghoti View Post
    I don't know why, but you just made it move.
    fupas and gunts are all it takes, eh?
    fap

  45. #45
    Clyde on a mission!
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    Quote Originally Posted by fugot View Post
    of course, the phones were all rotary dial; ever show a rotary dial phone to a 12 year old and ask him to make a call?
    Texting with a rotary dial requires quite a bit of effort..

    You know you're old when you have a long conversation with your mate about the most comfortable pants you've ever owned..

  46. #46
    El Gato Malo
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    When you can remember when there weren't any McDonald's; if you wanted a burger you went to the lunch counter at the Woolworths.

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2ridealot View Post
    When you search to find the oldest player in every sport or event and cheer for them
    And then realize they are ten years younger than you.
    "Never let the facts get in the way of a good story."
    Mark Twain?

  48. #48
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    When about the only time your favorite rock/country singers from your youth get played on the radio is when they die.

  49. #49
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    There was no such thing as color TV. For that matter
    no TV just radio.

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    There was no such thing as color TV. For that matter
    no TV just radio.
    Wow, that's pretty bad. I do remember getting up and walking to the tv to change the channel.

  51. #51
    SS Pusher Man
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    When Gemco, Zody's and Montgomery Wards were the "it" department stores.

    When you would pump your gas before you paid.

    When you were asked at a restaurant.....smoking or non-smoking.

    When TV would end late at night.

    When you knew all your neighbors.

    When you would go to 7-11 after school to play Paperboy & Galaga.

    When the Atari 2600 was cutting edge.




    EDIT: Guess someone took offense
    You Know You're OLD... 07-13-2012 09:53 PM when your face is a ******bag
    Last edited by mtnbikej; 07-14-2012 at 09:29 PM.
    Bicycles don’t have motors or batteries.

    Ebikes are not bicycles

  52. #52
    barely a mtbr
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    When Pong was a video game. I mean the video game.




    the only video game.



    And when I was the tv remote and the "tuner" which really meant move the antenna, the tinfoil, and if that didn't work stand there and use your body to make the channel come in clear.

  53. #53
    barely a mtbr
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    I also remember riding and racing three wheelers (Honda 200x) for years and not dying. Not even once.

  54. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    fupas and gunts are all it takes, eh?
    I think it was the frumpy toad woman.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

  55. #55
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    A polaroid exists of you wearing a leisure suit.
    You're not interested in seeing any major concert or sporting event in person.

  56. #56
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    You go for a snowboarding refresher lesson only to have the young coach say "we don't teach people to ride that style any more, that's old school..."

    I don't think I'd hit 30 yet at that point!
    Not really doing much Ridin' or Diggin'

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by GlennW View Post
    You go for a snowboarding refresher lesson only to have the young coach say "we don't teach people to ride that style any more, that's old school..."

    I don't think I'd hit 30 yet at that point!
    I think the style they teach now is sliding back and forth on the heel edge all the way down the hill! The "falling leaf," we used to call it back in the day.
    '11 Specialized Enduro Expert for the trails
    '13 Felt Z4 for the road

  58. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbikej View Post
    When Gemco, Zody's and Montgomery Wards were the "it" department stores.

    When you would pump your gas before you paid.

    When you were asked at a restaurant.....smoking or non-smoking.

    When TV would end late at night.

    When you knew all your neighbors.

    When you would go to 7-11 after school to play Paperboy & Galaga.

    When the Atari 2600 was cutting edge.
    Uh oh, all of those except Gemco and Zody's apply to me.

  59. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbikej View Post
    When you would go to 7-11 after school to play Paperboy & Galaga.

    When the Atari 2600 was cutting edge.
    When you played a Star Trek strategy game on a teletype that used a roll of yellow paper as the display.

  60. #60
    Beer Me!
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    When $10 would get you a full tank of gas.
    "Any wheel size is better than sitting at a computer all day." -Myself

  61. #61
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    Keeping it MTB related - it's always weird how some folks won't adopt new technology, not because they can't afford it, but only because they' re committed to the old stuff and believe the new stuff is just a fad.

    Saddest when you get dropped from said old guy with a 1996 8-speed Rockhopper with canti's.

  62. #62
    Life Is Short
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    Keeping it MTB related - it's always weird how some folks won't adopt new technology, not because they can't afford it, but only because they' re committed to the old stuff and believe the new stuff is just a fad.

    Saddest when you get dropped from said old guy with a 1996 8-speed Rockhopper with canti's.
    Had that happen to me during a ride on Memorial Day. Fireroad. Pretty bad, dude must have been 68. But this fellow had a 2010 carbon fiber specialized 29er.

    But there's always a silver lining to everything!

    On the singletrack he was at a dead stop in front of a mildly rocky section so I said excuse me and rode on. I think older guys are scared of rocky sections. I don't blame them either,
    takes longer to heal up bones.

  63. #63
    Chamois Dropper
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    When you own a MTB you bought new, and that bike is now legal drinking age. ( and still think it rides great)
    2008 GT Force
    Go Veg

  64. #64
    Weird huh?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slozomby View Post
    where i grew up, not calling people sir/maam was reason for laps/swats from the teachers.

    needless to say i sir/maam almost everyone.
    With you there Brother, with you there!

    El Cid is Spanish for The Cid..
    cmdrpiffle • 7 points •1 day ago
    Cinco de Mayo is Spanish for Cinco de Mayo

  65. #65
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    You're old if you ever had to buy a copy a Playboy to see a picture of a naked chick.

  66. #66
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  67. #67
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    I could go far a swim at the public pool and grab a bag of chips on the way home for $.50.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

  68. #68
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    [ATTACH]Name:  farrah-fawcett.jpg
Views: 367
Size:  27.8 KB[/ATTACH]
    ...cuz these were my favorite posters...gotta love harry doin' the "leary"
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails You Know You're OLD when.... Thread-ba7907.jpg  


  69. #69
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    Having a manager at work that's younger than you.

    Some of your high-school friends now have grandchildren.

    White chest hair.

    Hair growing out of places it never use to (nostrils, ears).

  70. #70
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    You get cheap reading glasses for every room and every car.

    You get a stomach ache eating at the local greasy spoon after a ride, and realize it's not a stomach ache afterwards, but your gall bladder passing a gallstone instead.

  71. #71
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    The only sexual position that doesn't hurt is on bottom just laying on your back...

  72. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbikej View Post
    When you would go to 7-11 after school to play Paperboy & Galaga.
    Or Pole Position, the car racing game. I was the high score king of that game at my neighborhood 7-11. My brother and I used to come home from playing video games and smoking cigarettes and our mom would say "You two smell like a chimney." We'd say "Yeah, there were some guys smoking up at 7-11 while we were playing video games." I guess we were 'technically' telling the truth.

  73. #73
    Chamois Dropper
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    The Farrah Fawcett picture brought back memories, I had that poster.
    2008 GT Force
    Go Veg

  74. #74
    Chamois Dropper
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    Oh yeah and this....makes you old.
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    2008 GT Force
    Go Veg

  75. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by natzx7 View Post
    Oh yeah and this....makes you old.
    are those the BeeGees?

  76. #76
    Getting faster...
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    You actually convince yourself that racing in the masters class is cool.

  77. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by F.N.G View Post
    The only sexual position that doesn't hurt is on bottom just laying on your back...
    A parallel to this... You'd rather take a good sh*t in the morning, cause it feels better than getting laid. I am really looking forward to that new movie with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones coming out soon.

  78. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by iamunchien View Post
    are those the BeeGees?
    Blasphemy

    Sent from my cm_tenderloin using Tapatalk 2

  79. #79
    Never Forget 9-11
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    You're old when you pull a muscle while sleeping.
    It's such a fine line between idiocy and genius.

  80. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by phoenixnr View Post
    Blasphemy

    Sent from my cm_tenderloin using Tapatalk 2
    haha. kidding, kidding.

    led zeppelin, whooooo! \m/

  81. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by FujNoob View Post
    You're old when you pull a muscle while sleeping.
    Did that walking two weeks ago.... Walking!

    Sent from my cm_tenderloin using Tapatalk 2

  82. #82
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    Debating at the music store whether to get 8 track or that new style cassette for my stereo. Ended up with 8 track, damn what a wrong move.

    Was at Best Buy last year, asked the manager where the CD players were. His response was, "What is a CD player?" That one was like a knife in the back.

  83. #83
    High Desert MTBer
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    ...when you read this whole thread and think that everyone posting so far is a mere whippersnapper...
    It's all Here. Now.

  84. #84
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    I owned a set of the original black Rock Shox, when they were new.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  85. #85
    Perpetual Hack
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    ...you built your own trail-bike out of what ever would work because they (mountain bikes) did not yet exist for another decade or so...

    michael
    Hatched in 1964
    A Dirtbag since 1969
    A Knomer since 2007

    Knolly Podium
    Knolly Delirium
    Knolly Endorphin

  86. #86
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    When people call you on the phone and greet you with "Did I wake you?".
    All bikes weigh 50 lbs. a 50lb. bike doesn't need a lock. a 40lb bike needs a 10lb. lock. a 30 lb. bike needs a 20lb. lock.

  87. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtnbikej View Post
    When Gemco, Zody's and Montgomery Wards were the "it" department stores.

    When you would pump your gas before you paid.

    When you were asked at a restaurant.....smoking or non-smoking.

    When TV would end late at night.

    When you knew all your neighbors.

    When you would go to 7-11 after school to play Paperboy & Galaga.

    When the Atari 2600 was cutting edge.




    EDIT: Guess someone took offense
    You Know You're OLD... 07-13-2012 09:53 PM when your face is a ******bag
    After school it was pinball even after high school. It was much better than that newfangled pong.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

  88. #88
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    When you have to use a lattel to keep your balls out of the water while taking a dump.

  89. #89
    Suckin wind like a boss
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatcat View Post
    ...also when you try to grow a goatee and you have white hairs on it
    hell ive had that since i was about 30.
    If you arent bleeding, you arent riding hard enough.
    http://about.me/bigterry

    Quote Originally Posted by Hutch3637 View Post
    I don't need sex. My life fvcks me daily.

  90. #90
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    When you start running into your friends' kids at work

  91. #91
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    Kids, ha! How about grand kids.

  92. #92
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    Looking at this history of gas prices makes me feel old:
    Historical Price of Gas

    I remember years when it was in the 65-80 cent range -- that was nice!

  93. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by citiznkain View Post
    Also the other day I was listening to the radio and had one of those "wtf is this crap?" moments.
    All the time!

  94. #94
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    The first tank of gas I bought was 28 cents a gallon.

  95. #95
    Moderator Moderator
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    When a "ten speed" means a road bike with 2 chainrings in front and 5 gears in back, not a cassette with 10 sprockets. And a good "racing 10 speed" like my Peugeot was about $100 new.

  96. #96
    Life Is Short
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    Happened to my friend:

    Last week went into Best Buy, asked a clerk where the portable cd players were and they kid didn't know what she was talking about.

    Intern at work didn't know the "great white way" , "tin pan alley", why they called Letterman's
    place "the ed sullivan theatre", if Quebec was a part of Canada and what VHS was.

  97. #97
    Pale Rider
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    You know you're old when your body creaks louder and more often than a box spring matress.
    With my goldfish shorts swimming around my toes.

  98. #98
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    When your girlfriends nephew asks her if your her daddy.

  99. #99
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    When you got lucky the night before, and don't remember to sit down instead of stand to go the next morning, due to the dreaded "forked piss".

  100. #100
    live long and huck
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    Quote Originally Posted by RandyBoy View Post
    When you got lucky the night before, and don't remember to sit down instead of stand to go the next morning, due to the dreaded "forked piss".
    Nothing like pissn on the floor, on both sides of the toilet simultaneously.
    Low and slack.

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