Why won't my niece leave?- Mtbr.com

View Poll Results: Why won't my niece leave my house

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  • She just loves her unky

    5 45.45%
  • She's just too dumb

    3 27.27%
  • She hates the alternative

    2 18.18%
  • She's messing with me

    1 9.09%
Results 1 to 35 of 35
  1. #1
    Hi There!
    Reputation: TheGweed's Avatar
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    Why won't my niece leave?

    My niece is a college graduate, nice kid but she just never knows when to leave. Her mom, my sister, told me a long time ago that she just doesn't can't figure out when to shut it down. Please God Why? It's 11:40, she heard my daughter say she wanted to get up a 7am and go practice driving but she still doesn't excuse herself. Help me I am in Hell.
    NTFTC

  2. #2
    Hi There!
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    I just texted my wife and she is apoplectic that this kid is still here. I'm drunk but coherent, I just can't enjoy my house with this kid here for ever. There is an art to knowing when to excuse yourself, no?
    NTFTC

  3. #3
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    Wow, you really are drunk.

  4. #4
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Wow, you really are drunk.
    Excuse me bartender I'll have what he's >>> having.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegweed View Post
    I just texted my wife and she is apoplectic that this kid is still here. I'm drunk but coherent, I just can't enjoy my house with this kid here for ever. There is an art to knowing when to excuse yourself, no?
    Maybe she is trying to avoid being at home for a good reason?

  6. #6
    El Gato Malo
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    You need to figure out something that will disgust your niece enough to have her running for the door.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    You need to figure out something that will disgust your niece enough to have her running for the door.
    Like what??
    Hmmmm how about the old drunk uncle pervert routine. Yeah that's it give her that creepy look and smack her on the ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  8. #8
    El Gato Malo
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    Or sitting around in stained underwear while picking donut crumbs off his chest.

  9. #9
    Hi There!
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    Freedom!!!!
    NTFTC

  10. #10
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    Lol
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Like what??
    Hmmmm how about the old drunk uncle pervert routine. Yeah that's it give her that creepy look and smack her on the ass.
    Oh, the old "Chester-the-molester" maneuver, huh? Not such a good idea.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    Or sitting around in stained underwear while picking donut crumbs off his chest.
    All while wearing a dirty old "wife beater"?

  13. #13
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    1. Why is my Freedom post above posts I read before posting it?

    2. Revisit the song "Seasons of Wither" by Aerosmith if you ever find yourself in this situation, great song but has nothing to do with this. Actually listen to the Novadriver version, it's killer.

    G'night.
    NTFTC

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Oh, the old "Chester-the-molester" maneuver, huh? Not such a good idea.
    Ha,ha hey we,re open to suggestions help a brother out. He's apparently sitting in turmoil as we speak.

    BTW this site is whacked tonight. I can't delete a post and repost it further down the thread to keep it in order. Because it tells me it's a duplicate post even though I deleted it. Twilight Zone sh!t.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegweed View Post
    Freedom!!!!
    Tell us how you did it???

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegweed View Post
    Freedom!!!!
    So you pulled the perverted uncle routine.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  17. #17
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    Poll: will thegweed post pics of his niece.

  18. #18
    I didn't do it
    Reputation: Mookie's Avatar
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    Damn, I came to this party late.

    I can't wait to see Gweed's posts tomorrow morning.

    Seriously, if you want to be functional tomorrow chug a freakin' gallon of water tonight.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  19. #19
    I didn't do it
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegweed View Post
    Freedom!!!!
    Here's my guess. There was a boy hiding out and you finally found him out and kicked him out of the house. Ergo niece is also now gone.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  20. #20
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    If she's still around, show her this thread. Or if she's gone, save it for the next time she can't take a hint.
    That will do the trick.

  21. #21
    No Stranger to danger....
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    OP, If she leaves who will you watch in the shower on your hidden cameras?
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....:cool:

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    OP, If she leaves who will you watch in the shower on your hidden cameras?
    Leave it to the Tone's.....he cuts straight to the heart of the matter!

  23. #23
    Hi There!
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    Since this came back up, I have to say the funniest part of that night was when I texted my wife that niece was still here and her reply was:

    "No more Crissy"!

    My wife is Japanese so her stuff comes out a little off sometimes such as that, and for example she'll say "go to the hell". We don't correct her unless it's something like for business or whatever.
    NTFTC

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    OP, If she leaves who will you watch in the shower on your hidden cameras?
    She wasn't showering, just chit-chatting with my daughter...anyway what does a 22 year old have to talk about with a 15 year old for 8 hours? Sheesh.
    NTFTC

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by thegweed View Post
    She wasn't showering, just chit-chatting with my daughter...anyway what does a 22 year old have to talk about with a 15 year old for 8 hours? Sheesh.
    Why her uncle of course.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  26. #26
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Ray View Post
    Leave it to the Tone's.....he cuts straight to the heart of the matter!
    To be honest Ray, ive got a few questions for the OP here.

    OP do i sense some sort of attraction here?
    Mate, your not alone, i have family members i find myself very sexually attracted too, thats pretty normal, all of the legal age of course.
    Theres nothing wrong about having an attraction to your cousins or sisters, some for their mothers or god forbid for their grandmothers and neices.
    Its ok to act out on it if there is a willing and loving 2nd party.
    Mate this is the place to discuss that sort of stuff with like minded people.
    Your not alone buddy.
    cheers
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....:cool:

  27. #27
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    Tones I think you're jumping to conclusions..
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rA_RAZx2_aA
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  28. #28
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    Dewd, set some boundaries next time. Tell her she's welcome to visit, but that you'll be retiring for the evening at XX:00 pm or what ever.

  29. #29
    meh... whatever
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    Dewd, set some boundaries next time. Tell her she's welcome to visit, but that you'll be retiring for the evening at XX:00 pm or what ever.
    this.

    then, if she hasn't left when you're ready to retire say, "well, it's been nice seeing you but we're going to bed. have a nice night." as you walk over to the front door and hold it open for her.
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  30. #30
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    Your profile says you live in Inverness. If this is the town of Inverness in Nova Scotia, it's important for you to know that it's legal for an uncle to marry his niece here in Canada. My country's progressive like that.

  31. #31
    Hi There!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    To be honest Ray, ive got a few questions for the OP here.

    OP do i sense some sort of attraction here?
    Mate, your not alone, i have family members i find myself very sexually attracted too, thats pretty normal, all of the legal age of course.
    Theres nothing wrong about having an attraction to your cousins or sisters, some for their mothers or god forbid for their grandmothers and neices.
    Its ok to act out on it if there is a willing and loving 2nd party.
    Mate this is the place to discuss that sort of stuff with like minded people.
    Your not alone buddy.
    cheers
    No.
    NTFTC

  32. #32
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    Put on a pair of short shorts, nothing under them, and your old blind man's wire reading glasses, like you can't see clearly, or very far, and let things hang askew in front of your niece. That should send her running.

  33. #33
    > /dev/null 2&>1
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    Re: Why won't my niece leave?

    You guys got it all wrong. It's just about finding the right song and putting it on repeat, LOUD.

    Like Foreigner-Dirty White Boy: http://youtu.be/LUDMy-GplkQ

    This song does not beat around the bush. Short, to the point. Anything which might be considered creative or distracting from the main point of the song (that he, and, by extension, you) is a dirty white boy, is kept to an absolute minimum.

    Like, lyrics. Very few of them. Chords. There are only 3 in the whole song, F, D, and G. This song is sure to repulse anyone under 30, possibly 50.

  34. #34
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    Answer the door naked. She will never, ever come back again.

  35. #35
    All fat, all the time.
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    Running around naked & drunk usually clears a party pretty quickly....just sayin'

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