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  1. #1
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    Thighs busting out

    I'm sitting at work and just had to unzip my fly, carefully insert scissors and snip open the legs of my boxers since they were squeezing my swollen legs (had a great ride late last night). Most of my boxers have been modified like this

    Anybody find any cheap boxers that have big leg openings? I can't upsize to xl without the waist being too big

  2. #2
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    Go commando.
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    A ssholes

  3. #3
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    Humble braaaaaaag.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nat View Post
    Humble braaaaaaag.
    I have the same issue with the package area pre ride.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  5. #5
    Nat
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I have the same issue with the package area pre ride.
    I hear you. I wish they brought back Tioga tension spoke wheels so I'm not at risk of my junk getting caught in the spokes.

  6. #6
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    Pre ride excitement is my problem. So it's more of a handlebar issue.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  7. #7
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    You guys are cracking me up

  8. #8
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    Best thread topic evah!!! Unreal.
    My problem isn't the thighs but rather its my belly.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
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  9. #9
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    That's why you go in the dressing room and try on boxers first before buying.

  10. #10
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    Dear Penthouse Letters,

    I never thought this would happen to me, but I'm sitting at work and just had to unzip my fly, carefully insert scissors and snip open the legs of my boxers since they were squeezing my swollen......

  11. #11
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    The last set of cheap boxers I bought had slightly tapered legs that do constrict my thighs when I sit down. It sucks.

    The best ones I've found are REI or Patagonia brand made out of coolmax. Not cheap but plenty comfortable.

  12. #12
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    This is funny. I'm a tall, skinny guy and my shorts are tight in the thighs as well. Moreso when riding if I just jump on and go without getting kitted up. Some people describe my legs as "frog legs". I think you gotta go with compression shorts, like the pro athletes wear. I seldom wear jeans any more either. Almost any other type of pants fit better. My legs look skinny. I don't know how my shorts can be too tight. Hanes have the most room if you're shopping.

    BTW - who hasn't stopped early in a ride for a "front end alignment".

    -F
    It's never easier - you just go faster.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I have the same issue with the package area pre ride.
    I'm ok, my penis is very small.

  14. #14
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    The first step to emotional healing is admitting it.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  15. #15
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    Let me guess... You slipped and also snipped the bottom of your pants pockets off.
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

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    Knit boxers work for me.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    The first step to emotional healing is admitting it.
    I tell myself I'm normal.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Pig View Post
    I tell myself I'm normal.
    Fighting the good fight.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Fighting the good fight.
    I don't like fighting, especially not girls.

  20. #20
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    OP, maybe try a Speedo.

    Picard swears by them, he may even stop by and offer to model one for you.
    This space intentionally left blank. We apologise for any inconvenience.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by PretendGentleman View Post
    Anybody find any cheap boxers that have big leg openings? I can't upsize to xl without the waist being too big
    Have you tried Jockeys?

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brodino View Post
    Have you tried Jockeys?
    Boxer briefs for the win. All brands all the time.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Boxer briefs for the win. All brands all the time.
    I have tried boxer briefs, they just end up riding up my thighs and becoming regular briefs. LOL

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brodino View Post
    I have tried boxer briefs, they just end up riding up my thighs and becoming a thong. LOL
    FIFY. You're welcome!
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brodino View Post
    I have tried boxer briefs, they just end up riding up my thighs and becoming regular briefs. LOL
    Hmmm.. been wearing them for 20 some years and they've always stayed in place for me. But then again I've got redwood tree trunks for thighs.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuckha62 View Post
    FIFY. You're welcome!
    Ha haa haaa!

    Wait, ewwwwww!
    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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  27. #27
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtjunkie View Post
    hmmm.. Been wearing them for 20 some years and they've always stayed in place for me. But then again i've got pencils for thighs that accompany my pencil.......
    fify

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Hmmm.. been wearing them for 20 some years and they've always stayed in place for me. But then again I've got redwood tree trunks for thighs.
    You'd think that after twenty years, the elastic would be really worn out.
    rOCktoberfest 2015 pt I here
    rOCktoberfest 2015 pt II here

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by nvphatty View Post
    fify
    You finally slipped one in that made me proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    You'd think that after twenty years, the elastic would be really worn out.
    Not the waistline but the legs are blown out.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  30. #30
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    I just farted.

  31. #31
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    You finally slipped one in that made me proud.
    glad to be of service, oh and all of mine are legendary classics if you must know.

  32. #32
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    How does one get redwood truck thighs. I'm skinny and can't put on weight. Never had a tight pair of ginch.
    All I am saying is give pizza chants

  33. #33
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    Hey, doesn't any one wear bun huggers anymore, I do.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    Hey, doesn't any one wear bun huggers anymore, I do.
    You mean tighty whiteys?

    I think they went extinct.

    Tighty Whitey doing the worm | Video | Break.com
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  35. #35
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    Dont try blaming your thunder thighs on biking dude its all inner thighs and calves.

  36. #36
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    I can't imagine wearing what amounts to a pair of shorts under my pants. Banana hammock makes me feel like someone grabbed my jewels. Therefore...

    "Fruit of the Loom Breathable briefs feature soft cotton-blend mesh fabric that promotes air flow preventing you from getting hot. Moisture wicking technology distributes sweat away from the skin, keeping you dry throughout the day. The brief has a traditional fly design with reinforced seams for better support. A wider, tag free waistband feels soft against the skin."

    For The Win.
    NTFTC

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGweed View Post
    For The Win.
    You can't "for the win" your own post!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

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  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark_BC View Post
    How does one get redwood truck thighs. I'm skinny and can't put on weight. Never had a tight pair of ginch.
    Ride mountain bikes.
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

  39. #39
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    You can't "for the win" your own post!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    not only that but i'm not goin for the cotten-blend mesh fabric aspect.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    You can't "for the win" your own post!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    Oh, sorry, I didn't know that. I didn't mean my post wins, I meant the undies...is that okay?

    Quote Originally Posted by nvphatty View Post
    not only that but i'm not goin for the cotten-blend mesh fabric aspect.
    They have millions of tiny but visible holes in the fabric. Love them so much I bought 12 pair.
    NTFTC

  41. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGweed View Post
    Oh, sorry, I didn't know that. I didn't mean my post wins, I meant the undies...is that okay?
    Worked for me the first time.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  42. #42
    EAT MORE GRIME
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    Ha !

    I have pencil legs but still stay at the front...a LOT.

    all stealth mode

    no one knows
    where my power comes from. (beans)

  43. #43
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGweed View Post
    Oh, sorry, I didn't know that. I didn't mean my post wins, I meant the undies...is that okay?
    seal of approval

    They have millions of tiny but visible holes in the fabric. Love them so much I bought 12 pair.
    sounds as though it works for ya

  44. #44
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by 127.0.0.1 View Post
    Ha !

    I have pencil legs but still stay at the front...a LOT.

    all stealth mode

    no one knows
    where my power comes from. (beans)
    with bacon??

  45. #45
    EAT MORE GRIME
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    ^^ you better believe it.

  46. #46
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    The issue I'm finding as I age gracefully into my 50's is my hanging nut sack. And I'm not lying...I have to readjust the ball bag more frequently as it hangs a bit now and wobbles around more aggressively than in years past.

    Therefore, I need to re-think my underwear situation and get a snuggier fit going, but still be comfortable.

    Adjusting them in my chamois mid-ride is also an ongoing affair.
    The only important thing these days, is rhythm and melody. Rhythm...and melody.

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crankout View Post
    The issue I'm finding as I age gracefully into my 50's is my hanging nut sack. And I'm not lying...I have to readjust the ball bag more frequently as it hangs a bit now and wobbles around more aggressively than in years past.
    George Lopez has a line in his routine about the exact situation and sitting down... Ouch!
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

  48. #48
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    Dogs have this issue as well.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGweed View Post
    ... Love them so much I bought 12 pair.
    January
    February
    March
    April
    May
    June
    July
    August
    September
    October
    November
    December



    -F
    It's never easier - you just go faster.

  50. #50
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crankout View Post
    The issue I'm finding as I age gracefully into my 50's is my hanging nut sack. And I'm not lying...I have to readjust the ball bag more frequently as it hangs a bit now and wobbles around more aggressively than in years past.

    Therefore, I need to re-think my underwear situation and get a snuggier fit going, but still be comfortable.

    Adjusting them in my chamois mid-ride is also an ongoing affair.
    are you able to find ride time with the assoc fondling affair??

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleas View Post
    January
    February
    March
    April
    May
    June
    July
    August
    September
    October
    November
    December



    -F
    I went looking for panties with the month written on them for ya. Damn, you can't Google anything anymore without nekked unmentionable photos popping up.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  52. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by chuckha62 View Post
    fify. You're welcome!
    lol!

  53. #53
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    Why do you even need pants under your pants? Mommy told you to wear them so you just never questioned it?
    I have not wore underpants since I was a teenager. Seems like a wide spread act that everyone just seems to overlook the pointlessness in.

  54. #54
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    Thighs busting out

    Quote Originally Posted by Crankout View Post
    The issue I'm finding as I age gracefully into my 50's is my hanging nut sack. And I'm not lying...I have to readjust the ball bag more frequently as it hangs a bit now and wobbles around more aggressively than in years past.

    Therefore, I need to re-think my underwear situation and get a snuggier fit going, but still be comfortable.

    Adjusting them in my chamois mid-ride is also an ongoing affair.
    Dude, wrong forum! Aging, nut sack issues belong in the 50+ year old forum.

    Some of the 70 year olders might be able to pass on some wisdom.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  55. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by ravewoofer View Post
    Dude, wrong forum! Aging, nut sack issues belong in the 50+ year old forum.

    Some of the 70 year olders might be able to pass on some wisdom.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I'd love to comment, but that image of the "aggressively wobbling nutsack" is killing it for me...
    It's all Here. Now.

  56. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    I'd love to comment, but that image of the "aggressively wobbling nutsack" is killing it for me...
    He's just jealous.
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crankout View Post
    Therefore, I need to re-think my underwear situation and get a snuggier fit going, but still be comfortable.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheGweed View Post
    Banana hammock makes me feel like someone grabbed my jewels.
    I think this might be your only option until depends come into play. I might try one just to satisfy my own curiosity...
    This space intentionally left blank. We apologise for any inconvenience.

  58. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cornfield View Post
    I think this might be your only option until depends come into play. I might try one just to satisfy my own curiosity...
    Try one what? Banana hammock or Depends?
    NTFTC

  59. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheGweed View Post
    Try one what? Banana hammock or Depends?
    I wonder if depends makes a banana hammock?
    This space intentionally left blank. We apologise for any inconvenience.

  60. #60
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    Okay, who here has the guts to admit they wear Depends?

  61. #61
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    Should I start a poll? Who hangs left and who hangs right?
    dang

  62. #62
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    Okay, who here has the guts to admit they wear Depends?
    they serve you well in place of padded shorts.

  63. #63
    nvphatty
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Should I start a poll? Who hangs left and who hangs right?
    ummmmm noooooooo

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by nvphatty View Post
    are you able to find ride time with the assoc fondling affair??
    Discretely adjusting my business has become an artform on my rides. I try to time my non-sensuous fondling in the absence of vehicles (when on the road), houses, or any other potential glances from individuals.

    I believe there are cycling undergarments that I can don under my chamois. I need to investigate this option.

    A sack tuck has crossed my mind...it must be a quick operation to snip, tighten and sew my bad boy.
    The only important thing these days, is rhythm and melody. Rhythm...and melody.

  65. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by ravewoofer View Post
    Dude, wrong forum! Aging, nut sack issues belong in the 50+ year old forum.

    Some of the 70 year olders might be able to pass on some wisdom.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I am a regular in the forum. Maybe it's time to start a thread over there...
    The only important thing these days, is rhythm and melody. Rhythm...and melody.

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