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Thread: I'm not nice

  1. #1
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    I'm not nice

    And things get even worse when I hang with my brother.

    A good many years ago (before common internet), we both worked at the same mini-storage which, as you can imagine, is a pretty boring job. One day we were hanging out in the office reading the local want ads. It was free circular and so we decided to place an ad for a friend while laughing our asses off. We listed several boxes of free "marital aids" and put his phone number in.

    Apparently, he got a lot of calls which annoyed the hell out of him, but he never suspected it was us behind the scheme.
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  2. #2
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    Way back in the early 1980’s while living in a rural area. They had party lines which is a phone line that is also connected with a neighbor or two or three. You also had to enter a phone number while calling long distance so they would bill the correct number. They didn’t have a catch all that limited the manually inputted # to only be the ones in the party line. So if you were savvy and a bit mean you could call a long distance number and enter another # for the charges to be billed to.

    I was working for a good friend. We were both the same age, about 24 at the time. He was very successful and owned his own Landscaping company, married with a child and owned a house. Although he was married he acted single and often was out partying with the guys in the construction crew. One day I got a wild hair and played a joke on him. I called a sex line and billed it to his number. A couple of weeks go by and his phone bill comes in. His wife got the mail and noticed a very large charge from a sex line. The next morning in the construction truck he told the crew about this charge and that he didn’t make the call and that all he did was argue with his wife the night prior. That whole week all he did was talk about how his wife won’t believe him he didn’t make that call. He had a serious temper and this bugged him bad. I laughed and the whole crew razzed him telling him to just admit he made the call and that she’d forgive him.

    I never did tell him it was me.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  3. #3
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    We also posted his aluminum skiff for an extremely reasonable price.

    Yeah, he got a heap of calls on that one too.
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Way back in the early 1980’s while living in a rural area. They had party lines which is a phone line that is also connected with a neighbor or two or three. You also had to enter a phone number while calling long distance so they would bill the correct number. They didn’t have a catch all that limited the manually inputted # to only be the ones in the party line. So if you were savvy and a bit mean you could call a long distance number and enter another # for the charges to be billed to.

    I was working for a good friend. We were both the same age, about 24 at the time. He was very successful and owned his own Landscaping company, married with a child and owned a house. Although he was married he acted single and often was out partying with the guys in the construction crew. One day I got a wild hair and played a joke on him. I called a sex line and billed it to his number. A couple of weeks go by and his phone bill comes in. His wife got the mail and noticed a very large charge from a sex line. The next morning in the construction truck he told the crew about this charge and that he didn’t make the call and that all he did was argue with his wife the night prior. That whole week all he did was talk about how his wife won’t believe him he didn’t make that call. He had a serious temper and this bugged him bad. I laughed and the whole crew razzed him telling him to just admit he made the call and that she’d forgive him.

    I never did tell him it was me.
    Oh crap, that's really funny!
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  5. #5
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    You think you're not nice? Check these guys out. Sheesh.
    =sParty
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    We get old because we quit riding.

  6. #6
    A waste of time it is is
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    haha sparticus, I knew where that was going before I even clicked the link. Well played.

  7. #7
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    When the military recruiters came to high school, I signed my best friend up for the Army. It was about a year before they stopped bothering him to join.
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  8. #8
    M8 M12 M15 deez nuts
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    Only dicky thing I ever did was stick an exhaust whistle up the tailpipe of the car of a classmate in highschool. You could hear his car for miles. A couple days later his car sounded normal again; apparently his dad had an exhaust shop replace the exhaust system. So, I stuffed another exhaust whistle up his tailpipe.
    Don’t frail and blow if you’re going to Braille and Flow.

  9. #9
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    You’re lucky, it was several years after high school before I got to stick my whistle up someone’s tailpipe
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  10. #10
    A waste of time it is is
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir kayakalot View Post
    You’re lucky, it was several years after high school before I got to stick my whistle up someone’s tailpipe
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  11. #11
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    Where I grew up and went to highschool house parties, huge, crazy, fun as hell house parties were ubiquitous. We're at a party that's winding down and for whatever reason all the leftovers are congregating in the kitchen, about 25-30 half drunk kids in my buddies kitchen. A guy I've literally known since 4 years old, Rich, who's super funny picks up the wall phone and starts crank calling random people.

    "Hello is Bob there?"....everybody goes silent... and before the poor sucker on the other end of the phone can answer "Bob Frapples!" hangs up phone and everybody laughs hysterically. You had to be there.

    So this goes on for 3 or 4 times when I announce "lemme dial a number" I dial a number, hand him the phone, everybody's silent waiting for the punchline...
    "Hello is Bob there?" But instead of a quick punchline everyone can audibly hear through the other end of the phone "Richie! Is that you!!"...my buddy exclaims in disbelief..."MOM!?!" everybody starts dying laughing and my buddy turns white.
    His parents were super strict, he didn't let that one go for a bit.

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  12. #12
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    A couple of friends were in a practical joke battle in college. One worked for the school paper. He took out a classified ad for the other: "Wanted - To father a child, no questions asked...". He got some pretty interesting calls.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leopold Porkstacker View Post
    Only dicky thing I ever did was stick an exhaust whistle up the tailpipe of the car of a classmate in highschool. You could hear his car for miles. A couple days later his car sounded normal again; apparently his dad had an exhaust shop replace the exhaust system. So, I stuffed another exhaust whistle up his tailpipe.


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  14. #14
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    Though not as extreme as others, we used to get a kick out of mailing in those magazine and CD/cassette order-forms you'd find in magazines in our friends' (or enemy) names.
    The only important thing these days, is rhythm and melody. Rhythm...and melody.

  15. #15
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    Back in the day, a friend of mine was getting married.

    So we purchased some fertilizer and fertilized a massive C&B into is lawn.

    Because we over-fertilized it killed the grass. So there was a massive meat and 2 veg of killed off grass on his lawn for a while. But then the fertilizer kicked in and for the next few years a giant green twig and berries of lush green grass would grow so much faster than the non fertilized lawn. He would have to mow his lawn a week or 2 sooner for a couple of years.......

    hahahahah.

    That was the prank that kept on giving and giving and giving.

  16. #16
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    A guy in HS bought a Morris Mini and had it shipped over to the states. It was his daily driver to school. One day me and 3 others went out during a break, picked it up and rotated it 90° in the parking spot. He couldn't leave until one of the adjacent cars pulled out.
    Go Fact Yourself.

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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leopold Porkstacker View Post
    Only dicky thing I ever did was stick an exhaust whistle up the tailpipe of the car of a classmate in highschool. You could hear his car for miles. A couple days later his car sounded normal again; apparently his dad had an exhaust shop replace the exhaust system. So, I stuffed another exhaust whistle up his tailpipe.
    My junior and senior years in high school I spent the second half of the day in a vocational trade school. A masonry / bricklaying class. Part of that class was going out on a job site and learning hands on building a house. Most of the class could fit in the teachers giant double cab dually. Some drove their own cars. One day as we were loading up my best friend was laughing and he waves me over to the back of the truck. He had one of those exhaust whistles, which he crammed up the exhaust of the teachers truck. We both jump in laughing, the other guys were looking at us funny. The teacher was an old goofy funny guy. Always joking with us but never getting our jokes. He starts the truck up and it starts whistling. As we are driving we see him moving his head around trying to figure out the noise. He then starts asking if we heard a whistling sound, and where’s it coming from. By then we had whispered to rest of the class what was going on and all were laughing. The teacher now knows something is up and pulls over. He keeps asking all of us if we knew what the noise was. We all acted dumb and then we all jumped out. The teacher kept the motor running and walks around. When it’s at idle it doesn’t whistle, once we started to go again it whistled, we were all laughing. He then pulled over and demanded to know what was so funny. One of us let him in on it. He jumped out and we couldn’t get it out of the pipe. The truck whistled like that for a week or so. I guess it finally worked it’s way out. Not a happy camper but he was a good sport and laughed it off.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by the one ring View Post
    A guy in HS bought a Morris Mini and had it shipped over to the states. It was his daily driver to school. One day me and 3 others went out during a break, picked it up and rotated it 90° in the parking spot. He couldn't leave until one of the adjacent cars pulled out.
    Lol
    Love this thread. This sparked another memory. I was maybe 12 years old. My brother was 17 at the time. Him and three of his buddies did the same thing to a neighbor who would always be screaming at his son. They were out of town and they had a Honda that was in the driveway. One of the first Honda cars that were wayyyy tiny. They picked it up and turned it 90° in the driveway blocking the garage door. I wasn’t there when they came home but I heard it wasn’t a pleasant scene. LOL

    This is the type of car it was.

    I'm not nice-b00bfd4e-d546-4e3f-8427-250be4685390.jpg
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  19. #19
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    Those were great little cars. One of my best friends parents gave him that car for his first vehicle back in 86’. If I remember right it had a 3 cylinder motor. It would only run about 65mph but literally got 50 mpg. We took that car all over the country, some of my best memories of all time
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  20. #20
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    A buddy of mine had the hots for the girl that lived in the apartment next to his so i signed him up for a subscription to some gay magazine but used her address (apt #). She would knock on his door and give it to him each month when it arrived.... They ended up dating for a while.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir kayakalot View Post
    Those were great little cars. One of my best friends parents gave him that car for his first vehicle back in 86’. If I remember right it had a 3 cylinder motor. It would only run about 65mph but literally got 50 mpg. We took that car all over the country, some of my best memories of all time
    You remembered right it had a 3 cylinder motor. The Suzuki as well had a 3 cylinder motor. My story took place around 1975’ish. First small cars to hit the USA.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  22. #22
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    In the frat house my room mate and I played a prank on the brothers in an adjacent room. We ran a speaker wire through the wall and hooked it up directly to the speaker in one of the guy's guitar amp. In the middle of the night we blasted the scream at the start of Joe Jackson's Beat Crazy. Since it is a bit obscure you can hear it here:



    From what they told us they were frantically trying to turn the amp off and even unplugged it from the wall... to no avail.

    I also had a friend in high school with a 66 Mustang convertible. We were at a football game and though it would be fun to play a prank. We broke into the car, put it in neutral and rolled it across the street (still within sight, but a couple hundred yards away). After the game we came out and he was spinning in circles looking for his car. I pointed across the street and said "hey, look at that.." He said "Wow, someone has a car just like mine..."

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockcrusher View Post


    woo wooo
    Oh yes, Bubb Rubb and Lil Sis, Oakland’s finest citizens– I remember when they made their rounds on the interwebs a while back.

    On the contrary, the exhaust whistles I bought were from a prank/novelty/party shop called House of Humour. They were $5/each and had bendable metal flares at one end such that it could accommodate from about a 1" – 2" tailpipe diameter. Yet I used a broomstick to wedge that fücker way up in there on my classmate’s tailpipe.
    Don’t frail and blow if you’re going to Braille and Flow.

  24. #24
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    When I was in college, one day I got to exploring way back in the mechanical room down in the basement of the building (our design labs were on the lowest level). I found an old mannequin stored back there and dragged it out and stuffed it in my buddy's locker that he had conveniently forgotten to lock. A couple of days later I came in the lab only to find my locker about three feet off the floor; he'd gotten the owners of the lockers on either side of mine to let him unbolt mine, jacked it up and rebolted it.
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

  25. #25
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    When I was a junior in high school I got to help pick up a Mini owned by one of the seniors, and with a dozen or so others we carried it thru the gates into the tennis courts and left it at the far side of the courts. The school administration was very unhappy with this and we all got in a lot of shit for it, but my Mom, whose sense of humor I shared, thought it was pretty funny.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    A buddy of mine had the hots for the girl that lived in the apartment next to his so i signed him up for a subscription to some gay magazine but used her address (apt #). She would knock on his door and give it to him each month when it arrived.... They ended up dating for a while.
    LOL! My brother and I sent some gay cruise brochures to our boss at...one address number off from his so that his neighbor would get it and have to return it to him.
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Way back in the early 1980’s while living in a rural area. They had party lines which is a phone line that is also connected with a neighbor or two or three. You also had to enter a phone number while calling long distance so they would bill the correct number. They didn’t have a catch all that limited the manually inputted # to only be the ones in the party line. So if you were savvy and a bit mean you could call a long distance number and enter another # for the charges to be billed to.

    I was working for a good friend. We were both the same age, about 24 at the time. He was very successful and owned his own Landscaping company, married with a child and owned a house. Although he was married he acted single and often was out partying with the guys in the construction crew. One day I got a wild hair and played a joke on him. I called a sex line and billed it to his number. A couple of weeks go by and his phone bill comes in. His wife got the mail and noticed a very large charge from a sex line. The next morning in the construction truck he told the crew about this charge and that he didn’t make the call and that all he did was argue with his wife the night prior. That whole week all he did was talk about how his wife won’t believe him he didn’t make that call. He had a serious temper and this bugged him bad. I laughed and the whole crew razzed him telling him to just admit he made the call and that she’d forgive him.

    I never did tell him it was me.
    "a very large charge from a sex line"....

    Exactly how long were you on the phone with that hussy?!

  28. #28
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    I had a Volkswagen Superb Eatle, and had all the seats out, except for the driver's seat, so I could fit my North drum kit in it (no small feat, lemme tells ya). I asked a girl out who worked at a 7-11, and she said yes, so I picked her up with a car with no seats. Just a platform in the back to sit on. She asked if she could smoke, I said NOPE! That was the only date we went on, but she wound up marrying a friend of mine, and all she could do was denigrate that damn date because there were no seats in the car. **** off!

    Another story with the same car: Had a gig in some out-of-the-way town (pre-Maps), and me, my buddy (getting more ****ed up by the minute) and a drum set passed the exit for the town. Figured it out almost too late, found our way to the gig and rushed my drums in and got them set up. Unfortunately, that was one of my Keith Moon gigs, say no more.

    That car met its demise getting rolled on the way home from yet another gig, taking a freeway onramp a bit too hastily, lol.

    Yes, I was quite the stereotypical drummer, back in the day.

    This may be the wrong thread for this confessional.
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  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    This may be the wrong thread for this confessional.
    I see an Off Camber Confessional thread there...

    Make it so!

    Number two!
    This space intentionally left blank. We apologise for any inconvenience.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    I had a Volkswagen Superb Eatle, and had all the seats out, except for the driver's seat, so I could fit my North drum kit in it (no small feat, lemme tells ya). I asked a girl out who worked at a 7-11, and she said yes, so I picked her up with a car with no seats. Just a platform in the back to sit on. She asked if she could smoke, I said NOPE! That was the only date we went on, but she wound up marrying a friend of mine, and all she could do was denigrate that damn date because there were no seats in the car. **** off!

    Another story with the same car: Had a gig in some out-of-the-way town (pre-Maps), and me, my buddy (getting more ****ed up by the minute) and a drum set passed the exit for the town. Figured it out almost too late, found our way to the gig and rushed my drums in and got them set up. Unfortunately, that was one of my Keith Moon gigs, say no more.

    That car met its demise getting rolled on the way home from yet another gig, taking a freeway onramp a bit too hastily, lol.

    Yes, I was quite the stereotypical drummer, back in the day.

    This may be the wrong thread for this confessional.
    Assume you're aware Picard plays the organ.
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  31. #31
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    I thought Picard played the skin flute?
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir kayakalot View Post
    I thought Picard played the skin flute?
    Which is an organ.


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  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by mbmb65 View Post
    Which is an organ.


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    A Pipe Organ?

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    "a very large charge from a sex line"....

    Exactly how long were you on the phone with that hussy?!
    I set the phone down and let it play. Back then if I remember right it was just a recording of some hussy. Not sure how much it came to but it was about a 10 minute bill. The amount wasn’t the joke [he could afford it] it was him going through the ringer with his wife for a week and beyond.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

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