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  1. #1
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    How many face eating face eaters could you take out with a seatpost?

    The rules are: you have one seatpost of your choice to defend yourself against an unlimited number of face eating face eaters who are trying to eat your face. The seatpost has all hardware mounted for the occasion, but no saddle.

    Now, how many do you guesstimate you could you take out before they eat your face?

    I'd say I could easily take out like 10-15 of them with a >400mm alu post, preferably a cheap heavy one with one of those micro-adjust thingies with the small serrations, lots of mass there.

    With a carbon post I estimate I could take out about 2 of them, and if I'm unlucky maybe not a single one (carbon isn't really that abuse proof, and I suppose this is some kind of non intended use).
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.

    Quote Originally Posted by iheartbicycles View Post
    Specialized sucks ass.

  2. #2
    High Desert MTBer
    Reputation: rockerc's Avatar
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    This one will run and run!
    It's all Here. Now.

  3. #3
    STEEL IS REAL
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    If I eat my own face first, I win...

    Because no face eating face eaters would try to eat my face because I would no longer have a face to eat.
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  4. #4
    heaven help me
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    1 Thudbuster= 500 face eaters.

  5. #5
    Yes, that's fonetic
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    This one will run and run!
    You mean rather like a bad case of diarrhea?

  6. #6
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    My stock seatpost was 31.6 mm and a whopping 425g. So as long as my arms hold out, I would say 6-8. If I'm allowed to cut the bottom end off at a 45 degree angle, probably another 4-5.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by norton55 View Post
    1 Thudbuster= 500 face eaters.
    I think the shock absorbing properties of a Thudbuster would lessen the damage you would cause to the face eating masses.

    Whatever post I end up with, I want the longest one I can get.
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  8. #8
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    Better yet, take two seat posts, fasten them together with bike chain and go all Bruce Lee on the scuzzy bastards.

  9. #9
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    I think I would rather use a steel 30in flat handle bar if anyone makes one.
    Ruder than you.
    Ska is not dead!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by aikane View Post
    Better yet, take two seat posts, fasten them together with bike chain and go all Bruce Lee on the scuzzy bastards.
    I like this innovative thinking!

    Quote Originally Posted by ambassadorhawg View Post
    If I eat my own face first, I win...

    Because no face eating face eaters would try to eat my face because I would no longer have a face to eat.
    This is kinda smart, in combination with some kind of diversion of their attention you could probably just walk out of the inevitable apocalypse unharmed, well, except your face.
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.

    Quote Originally Posted by iheartbicycles View Post
    Specialized sucks ass.

  11. #11
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    But my seatpost doubles as a shotgun. Adds extra weight but no one dares to pass me.
    Negative Reps Please.

    Soy Loco

  12. #12
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    You've got to aim for the eye socket or the base of the skull. Tough for face eaters to eat your face if they can't see your face or if they have a severed brain stem.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrnHrnt View Post
    You've got to aim for the eye socket or the base of the skull. Tough for face eaters to eat your face if they can't see your face or if they have a severed brain stem.
    You never know, from the info I have gathered a face eater is a hybrid of vampire and zombie. Zombies need their head blown off from what I can tell, and vampires need silver bullets or a stake through the heart. But recent face eater attacks have shown face eaters actually die from regular bullets, but a whole mag of them. So stake through the heart and/or blown off head might be excessive. What is know is that they are tough though, a whole mag...

    But I agree though, if they can't see a face they can't possibly eat it.

    Does anyone have info on if it works just the same when you get bitten as with vampires and zombies, that is you turn into a face eater yourself if you get bitten? Or is the catalyst "bath salts" required to promote the transformation?
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.

    Quote Originally Posted by iheartbicycles View Post
    Specialized sucks ass.

  14. #14
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    How about an old Cro Mo Seatpost with two railroad spikes clamped in where the seat rails go.

  15. #15
    High Desert MTBer
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    Quote Originally Posted by whodaphuck View Post
    You mean rather like a bad case of diarrhea?
    Exactly...
    It's all Here. Now.

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