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  1. #1
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    Family ?

    Is it selfish to say no to a 12 hour day for a family reunion? I get seeing family for a few hours but 12? also, no beer or anything too makes it that much more troubling. rant over.
    If you do something often enough it tends to define you.

  2. #2
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    got a flask? or say you can't because you don't want the covits.
    Dont make me go all Jonathan Winters on this gas station.

  3. #3
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    Hell, be honest. "If I have to spend twelve hours with you all, I need alcohol!"
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

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    I don't think so.

    I have inlaws coming to town this weekend. I tried like hell to say no, but my wife vetoed me. I'm not hugging anyone and I'm keeping my distance. If they don't like it, they can f*ck off.

  5. #5
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    I've been told I have to go to my wife's family reunion this weekend... Also this is out in the boonies, so that's good. Nobody will be wearing a mask there, I know it, so I don't even know if there's a point in me doing it. They all think it's a hoax.
    dang

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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    I've been told I have to go to my wife's family reunion this weekend... Also this is out in the boonies, so that's good. Nobody will be wearing a mask there, I know it, so I don't even know if there's a point in me doing it. They all think it's a hoax.
    Take care of yourself, if they want to be dumb that's on them.

    https://www.fox4news.com/news/14-fam...kyard-barbecue

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTB_Underdog View Post
    Take care of yourself, if they want to be dumb that's on them.

    https://www.fox4news.com/news/14-fam...kyard-barbecue
    I'm trying to find excuses not to go. They should really want me to wear a mask, since I'm coming from the city out to their county which only has like 17 cases. If I have it I'm asymptomatic, though. Ran 3.2 miles in 25 minutes last night so I'm clearly not having breathing problems, but if someone does get sick like that family in the article I would feel so bad. Not really sure what's gotten into my wife, I don't really expect shit out of her. I even told her I'd work on our kitchen at home instead, but she brought up that I haven't done it all week (like I have to every day after work or something). I think she just gets annoyed when I don't go to her family things because everyone asks over and over why I'm not there. But casual racism and the belief that covid is a hoax is not a big draw for me, if I'm being completely honest.

    I think that wanting to get completely shithammered and watch every Hellraiser film back to back should be a good enough excuse. Not that I should need an excuse. Like OK, I've gone to visit my moms, but I know they're careful and they know I am, plus they have a pool with a big deck, so we can easily keep distance or wear a mask. But there's gonna be no distance with my wife's family.
    dang

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    I've been told I have to go to my wife's family reunion this weekend... Also this is out in the boonies, so that's good. Nobody will be wearing a mask there, I know it, so I don't even know if there's a point in me doing it. They all think it's a hoax.
    Bring beer and do some major social distancing.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    I'm trying to find excuses not to go. They should really want me to wear a mask, since I'm coming from the city out to their county which only has like 17 cases. If I have it I'm asymptomatic, though. Ran 3.2 miles in 25 minutes last night so I'm clearly not having breathing problems, but if someone does get sick like that family in the article I would feel so bad. Not really sure what's gotten into my wife, I don't really expect shit out of her. I even told her I'd work on our kitchen at home instead, but she brought up that I haven't done it all week (like I have to every day after work or something). I think she just gets annoyed when I don't go to her family things because everyone asks over and over why I'm not there. But casual racism and the belief that covid is a hoax is not a big draw for me, if I'm being completely honest.

    I think that wanting to get completely shithammered and watch every Hellraiser film back to back should be a good enough excuse. Not that I should need an excuse. Like OK, I've gone to visit my moms, but I know they're careful and they know I am, plus they have a pool with a big deck, so we can easily keep distance or wear a mask. But there's gonna be no distance with my wife's family.
    Given what this is, I think you have every justification to refuse outright, frankly.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    Bring beer and do some major social distancing.
    Don't shower for days and eat a shitload of garlic the night before.
    Go Fact Yourself.

    Real eyes realize real lies.

  11. #11
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    "casual racism and the belief that covid is a hoax is not a big draw for me, if I'm being completely honest."

    I am going through this same thing. My family wants me to make a trip to Kansas- I am in the S.F. Bay Area- to see my 96-year-old grandmother. I really want to see her since, you know 96 and all, but making the trip sounds crazy dangerous--staying in dodgy hotels and eating out constantly. I am very careful, wear a mask everywhere I go-even riding- and work from home, yet, I know the same is not true of my family. My dad is one of those, "wearing a mask makes you sicker types," and don't even get me started on the racism aspect. My uncle is a retired police and every time he sees a POC, he makes sure the safety is off on his concealed gun.

    It's too much for me to deal with to say hi to grandma. Family is a two-way street. If they consider you selfish for not wanting to visit, they need to realize that they are selfish as well for not wearing masks and respecting your personal boundaries.

  12. #12
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    The Darwin Family Reunion?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by the one ring View Post
    Don't shower for days and eat a shitload of garlic the night before.
    Make sure those days include plenty of riding in humid weather. Get a good funk going.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by d365 View Post
    The Darwin Family Reunion?
    Exactly
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mountainbikeloco View Post
    "casual racism and the belief that covid is a hoax is not a big draw for me, if I'm being completely honest."

    I am going through this same thing. My family wants me to make a trip to Kansas- I am in the S.F. Bay Area- to see my 96-year-old grandmother. I really want to see her since, you know 96 and all, but making the trip sounds crazy dangerous--staying in dodgy hotels and eating out constantly. I am very careful, wear a mask everywhere I go-even riding- and work from home, yet, I know the same is not true of my family. My dad is one of those, "wearing a mask makes you sicker types," and don't even get me started on the racism aspect. My uncle is a retired police and every time he sees a POC, he makes sure the safety is off on his concealed gun.

    It's too much for me to deal with to say hi to grandma. Family is a two-way street. If they consider you selfish for not wanting to visit, they need to realize that they are selfish as well for not wearing masks and respecting your personal boundaries.
    My grandmother is up there, too. Thankfully I got to see her in January just before all this stuff started happening, so there hasn't been a lot of pressure from the family. But, beyond that, she lives in a retirement community and those places are pretty much on lockdown if they have any sense at all. I know a lot of people who live in them are pretty lonely these days. Hell, lots of people who don't live in retirement communities are pretty lonely these days.

    That's really what's brought us into this mess with the family reunions and crap. I get it. But I'd rather suffer the loneliness than to contract and/or spread COVID.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by mountainbikeloco View Post
    "casual racism and the belief that covid is a hoax is not a big draw for me, if I'm being completely honest."

    I am going through this same thing. My family wants me to make a trip to Kansas- I am in the S.F. Bay Area- to see my 96-year-old grandmother. I really want to see her since, you know 96 and all, but making the trip sounds crazy dangerous--staying in dodgy hotels and eating out constantly. I am very careful, wear a mask everywhere I go-even riding- and work from home, yet, I know the same is not true of my family. My dad is one of those, "wearing a mask makes you sicker types," and don't even get me started on the racism aspect. My uncle is a retired police and every time he sees a POC, he makes sure the safety is off on his concealed gun.

    It's too much for me to deal with to say hi to grandma. Family is a two-way street. If they consider you selfish for not wanting to visit, they need to realize that they are selfish as well for not wearing masks and respecting your personal boundaries.
    Big thumbs up on all accounts.

    I'll probably end up going, slamming some food down my gullet, and taking some beers over by the river to do some botanizing. I need to get out of the city for sure, but being around a bunch of old people is not the right way to do it. COVID is about to pop out here in MO. Steadily increasing number of new cases about every day. People in STL don't care, either. Every day I walk the dogs by the bar on the corner and there are people just all over each other outside in front of it. Out running yesterday and people running around walkers or people with strollers just run right next to them. I get way over in the grass on account of probably producing a stupid number of respiratory droplets at that time.

    Harold you're right I shouldn't need an excuse and should be in the clear to not attend. It's probably dumb that I'm even considering going just to stay out of the doghouse. It's more dumb that I would be in the doghouse for not going. I guess it seems hypocritical that I do see my family, but her family is just...they behave differently because they think it's a hoax.
    dang

  17. #17
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    So the whole get together it’s going to be nothing but conversations on how it’s a hoax. That should make for a relaxing meet up.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mountainbikeloco View Post
    "casual racism and the belief that covid is a hoax is not a big draw for me, if I'm being completely honest."

    I am going through this same thing. My family wants me to make a trip to Kansas- I am in the S.F. Bay Area- to see my 96-year-old grandmother. I really want to see her since, you know 96 and all, but making the trip sounds crazy dangerous--staying in dodgy hotels and eating out constantly. I am very careful, wear a mask everywhere I go-even riding- and work from home, yet, I know the same is not true of my family. My dad is one of those, "wearing a mask makes you sicker types," and don't even get me started on the racism aspect. My uncle is a retired police and every time he sees a POC, he makes sure the safety is off on his concealed gun.

    It's too much for me to deal with to say hi to grandma. Family is a two-way street. If they consider you selfish for not wanting to visit, they need to realize that they are selfish as well for not wearing masks and respecting your personal boundaries.
    Cripes, that's a hell of a spot to be in. I guess I'm fortunate that I don't have political disputes in my family or my in-laws. We're all pretty sympatico on things.
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  19. #19
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    I don't give excuses for not going to things. Some cousin got married this summer and people in my family were asking if I was going to go. I just said, "no". They could have said, Well this is the cousin that you dropped on her head when she was a toddler, don't you feel obligated to celebrate her overcoming life's obstacles?" but they didn't.

  20. #20
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    We the people ...

    Quote Originally Posted by MTB_Underdog View Post
    Take care of yourself, if they want to be dumb that's on them.

    https://www.fox4news.com/news/14-fam...kyard-barbecue
    https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/no...e-f4437fe6f836

    I believe these are separate families in both articles. To the OP, I would not attend due to the pandemic.

    FWIW, I have not seen/hung out with anyone outside my household since March 13th. I come from a large Italian family who celebrates everything. St. Pattys, bdays, first communions, Memorial Day, mothers/fathers day, Easter...all spent in isolation. Not easy. Yes, its by choice. Yes, I get teased by being called "chicken little". Lots of hecking from my friends teasing me about my "covid cave". Wife is high risk, son is high risk, had a CT scan today and apparently now I'm high risk.

    You don't know what you don't know until its too late. Well, at least I'm trying to prevent that from occuring.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curveball View Post
    Cripes, that's a hell of a spot to be in. I guess I'm fortunate that I don't have political disputes in my family or my in-laws. We're all pretty sympatico on things.
    Ditto for my family, you're right that we are really fortunate. And my in-laws live on the other side of the planet (and they sure don't think it is a hoax).

    My folks are coming to visit this weekend. They have been super careful as has my family. I am the biggest risk and a little nervous as I had to go to a job site Thursday-Sunday last week. I wore a cloth mask with a surgical mask inside and masks were required and everyone was mostly good with it. Except our EVP who took his off while looking over my shoulder while I did something on my laptop. I could feel his breath on my arm. He seems to be really serious about it and hopefully hasn't been going out, he's just known to be a bit clumsy.

    While my folks are here, we'll keep spread out and I probably will go ahead and wear my mask. I've actually been pretty much quarantined from my family (again). If anyone saw before, my son got really sick and I had very briefly been around him so my wife made us both quarantine. Finally, 18 days after being tested we got our results back and we were both negative, but by then, I was into this second round. I have to say, despite being an introvert, this isolation is very tough. Nice thing is, all meals get left at my door and I don't have to do any dishes.
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

  22. #22
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    yeah, I'm definitely not sympatico with the inlaws on a lot of issues. wife has 2 siblings and I'm only partly okay with one of them.

    My sister and I are in agreement on most everything, so that's nice. it can be hit or miss with my parents, but even when we disagree, they at least make an effort to avoid pushing buttons. friction with them mostly comes from my dad's temper, but he's been getting better lately. time with them is tolerable as long as it's not all the time for days.

    My inlaws push buttons, and they make no effort to avoid them. I'm not looking forward to them arriving later today.

    Thankfully one of my riding buddies reached out today about riding on Sunday, so I at least have that to look forward to. That's about the only social interaction I've had since all this began.

  23. #23
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    family reunions remind me of funerals. groups of family that you only will probably meet once and it starts or ends in tragedy.
    Dont make me go all Jonathan Winters on this gas station.

  24. #24
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    On the other hand, if she's your 3rd cousin... Is she really family?
    Goya! It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes. Livin in an Idiocracy.

  25. #25
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    Hmm dodged a bullet. Wife's co-worker and his family are awaiting tests after his son's daycare lady got COVID and his son has been coughing. I hope they don't have it, too, but we ain't going nowhere.

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    dang

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Hmm dodged a bullet. Wife's co-worker and his family are awaiting tests after his son's daycare lady got COVID and his son has been coughing. I hope they don't have it, too, but we ain't going nowhere.

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    whew! definitely major bullet dodged.

    In my case, they're staying longer than just the weekend...until Wed. Blech. I have no qualms about skipping out on Sunday to ride with friends at this point. Especially after I entertained them for several hours yesterday until the wife got home from work. And considering I'll also have to entertain them on Monday while the wife is back at work.

    I might even skip out for a couple hours tonight to play video games with some other friends over the interwebs. Why not, right?

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    whew! definitely major bullet dodged.

    In my case, they're staying longer than just the weekend...until Wed. Blech. I have no qualms about skipping out on Sunday to ride with friends at this point. Especially after I entertained them for several hours yesterday until the wife got home from work. And considering I'll also have to entertain them on Monday while the wife is back at work.

    I might even skip out for a couple hours tonight to play video games with some other friends over the interwebs. Why not, right?
    Riding your bike and playing video games to avoid parents sounds like a 12yo’s woes.
    Round and round we go

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by theMeat View Post
    Riding your bike and playing video games to avoid parents sounds like a 12yo’s woes.
    LMFAO while you're not totally wrong sometimes I think that when visiting or having someone visit a reason for space or time alone is always welcome. Being asked to entertain for more than one day becomes tiresome quick. It does sound funny. Is it not acceptable to slam your pecker in a car door to get out of things?

    And the only person in my wife's fam I'd entertain without her being there is her grandma. Anyone else if my wife isn't there I'm not. They have a tendency to make racist/homophobic comments around me (knowing my mom is married to a woman) and bring up political stuff constantly - something I went out of my way to not do when I lived down there briefly.

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    dang

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by theMeat View Post
    Riding your bike and playing video games to avoid parents sounds like a 12yo’s woes.
    give it up. but I guess you're missing the point of the fact that COVID increases the risk of these kinds of gatherings and distance is the best thing you can to do avoid it. At this point, though, it's not looking good for riding, anyway, as the hurricane rolling up the Atlantic coast is forecast to bring a bunch of rain to the area.

    With today having the lowest rain risk, I'm actually going out to spend time with the inlaws in an outdoor setting where distance can be maintained.

    So your criticisms are not the reality of the situation. Frankly, if I wasn't finding other things to do on my own from time to time, anyway, I'd be spending that time sitting on the couch watching crappy television while they played their own video games on their phone or laptop only half engaged.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    LMFAO while you're not totally wrong sometimes I think that when visiting or having someone visit a reason for space or time alone is always welcome. Being asked to entertain for more than one day becomes tiresome quick. It does sound funny. Is it not acceptable to slam your pecker in a car door to get out of things?

    And the only person in my wife's fam I'd entertain without her being there is her grandma. Anyone else if my wife isn't there I'm not. They have a tendency to make racist/homophobic comments around me (knowing my mom is married to a woman) and bring up political stuff constantly - something I went out of my way to not do when I lived down there briefly.

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    Sounds like you have things well at hand, but with 30 years Inlaw experience can say with confidence that avoidance doesn’t fix. Instead take the hi road, always, kill em with kindness, and that gives them enough rope to make it obvious to everyone their intentions. Then you can speak from a point of matter of fact, and problem gets solved
    Round and round we go

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harold View Post
    give it up. but I guess you're missing the point of the fact that COVID increases the risk of these kinds of gatherings and distance is the best thing you can to do avoid it. At this point, though, it's not looking good for riding, anyway, as the hurricane rolling up the Atlantic coast is forecast to bring a bunch of rain to the area.

    With today having the lowest rain risk, I'm actually going out to spend time with the inlaws in an outdoor setting where distance can be maintained.

    So your criticisms are not the reality of the situation. Frankly, if I wasn't finding other things to do on my own from time to time, anyway, I'd be spending that time sitting on the couch watching crappy television while they played their own video games on their phone or laptop only half engaged.
    Was just joking but... umm, spending time on couch while wife works to pay bills. Did you find income yet?
    Round and round we go

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by theMeat View Post
    Was just joking but... umm, spending time on couch while wife works to pay bills. Did you find income yet?
    Meat, your "just joking" really is not funny, it's cruel.
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  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by chazpat View Post
    Meat, your "just joking" really is not funny, it's cruel.
    Fair enough, maybe a lil, sorry. Living life using song riffs to guide me.
    “You gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure”
    Round and round we go

  34. #34
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    One word: Edibles

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    One word: Edibles
    Nah
    Lite one up soon as they walk in. Don’t stop until they leave.
    Round and round we go

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by theMeat View Post
    Nah
    Lite one up soon as they walk in. Don’t stop until they leave.
    Ah, the DIRECT approach.

  37. #37
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    WTF meat? No OZ or Boris so you're bored without someone to argue?

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    dang

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    WTF meat? No OZ or Boris so you're bored without someone to argue?

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    Not looking to argue, and Boris had some real potential
    Round and round we go

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    Ah, the DIRECT approach.
    Followed by uncontrollable coughing and "Have you guys heard about Jeffery Epstein??"
    My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.
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  40. #40
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    Man. An entire family on the verge of extinction due to idea of having a reunion.
    That's gotta be tough on the one who's bright idea that was.
    This is a tale of almost Biblical overtones. Very sad.
    Just call me Ray

  41. #41
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    BTW, folks, I think we all know this, but these are hard times we are living in.Not all of us are gonna live through them.
    So this does not always bring out the best in all of us. I wish the opposite was true, but I'm afraid it ain't. Let's all try a bit harder, eh?
    Just call me Ray

  42. #42
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    We recently attended a relative's graduation party with family, many of whom hold opposing beliefs as us. Despite what we post on FB, we held off on talking about it in-person, and proceeded to have a good day. Detente, as it were.

    We've gotten admittedly too comfortable with socializing amidst the lowered covits crisis in our area. Probably should be a bit more cautious.

    However, to the OP, best of luck with whatever your decision.
    The only important thing these days, is rhythm and melody. Rhythm...and melody.

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