Dumb Things You Do When You're Under The Influence- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
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    Dumb Things You Do When You're Under The Influence

    Pee on the floor next to the toilet
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  2. #2
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    Youíre trying too hard.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  3. #3
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    Too hard is better that not hard enough.
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    The trick is, if you see 2 toilets, you have to close one eye first.
    Now if everything is spinning, best not even try to get up to go pee....

    Lol

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    The trick is, if you see 2 toilets, you have to close one eye first.
    Now if everything is spinning, best not even try to get up to go pee....

    Lol
    What about when you are super duper influenced and you see three toilets?
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    What about when you are super duper influenced and you see three toilets?
    Go outside.
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

  7. #7
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    You guys have never pissed yourself?
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

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    If you see more than one toilet just try and sit on the thing. You can't miss if you are seated. That is unless you miss sitting on it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    If you see more than one toilet just try and sit on the thing. You can't miss if you are seated. That is unless you miss sitting on it.
    Well, if you sit down to pee early in the "morning", you're gonna miss!
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    You guys have never pissed yourself?
    Nocturnal emissions
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    Too many to list here...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    What about when you are super duper influenced and you see three toilets?
    I had 'triple vision' once and do recall at least the working theory that is was better than double vision or would seem so.
    Let's say I'm going to toss a cap to a person attempting to land it on their noggin.... With three choices of aim ie; triple vision- It seems the best or only choice is aiming at the center image. The other situation would have me guessing for a 50/50 chance at the left or the right.

    I believe the culprit was too much gin or tequila


    so none of that was My fault.
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  13. #13
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    Here goes... I was once doing a show in Brighton England in the 70s, and after the end, had a few drinks... I was chatting to a young lady who I persuaded to come back up to London with me to my Chelsea house... (squat). She did, I don't remember much, but when I woke up and looked at her, I was quite horrified. The gap between her front teeth could have held a cigarette, and I am ashamed to say I quickly gave her ten pounds and said I had to do something urgently, and she should get the train home. She did.
    Fast forward a year or two, and I am doing a tour with the Psychedelic Furs, and one of the band was all excited his new girlfriend was coming to visit at the show in Brighton. We did the show and were all sitting in the bar afterwards where I was introduced to his girlfriend. I thought there was something familiar about her, but no memory. Then after a time, someone said something funny and she guffawed. Then I saw the front teeth and it all became awfully clear. She noticed my comprehension dawning, leaned over and said quietly, "I wondered when you were going to remember!" I wanted the earth to swallow me up but she was cool and never said anything...
    It's all Here. Now.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    Here goes... I was once doing a show in Brighton England in the 70s, and after the end, had a few drinks... I was chatting to a young lady who I persuaded to come back up to London with me to my Chelsea house... (squat). She did, I don't remember much, but when I woke up and looked at her, I was quite horrified. The gap between her front teeth could have held a cigarette, and I am ashamed to say I quickly gave her ten pounds and said I had to do something urgently, and she should get the train home. She did.
    Fast forward a year or two, and I am doing a tour with the Psychedelic Furs, and one of the band was all excited his new girlfriend was coming to visit at the show in Brighton. We did the show and were all sitting in the bar afterwards where I was introduced to his girlfriend. I thought there was something familiar about her, but no memory. Then after a time, someone said something funny and she guffawed. Then I saw the front teeth and it all became awfully clear. She noticed my comprehension dawning, leaned over and said quietly, "I wondered when you were going to remember!" I wanted the earth to swallow me up but she was cool and never said anything...
    Thanks for sharing that mate. That is known as "getting ugly". I too have been there, once. On a drunken party binge in Mexico. The gal was American and it turned out that she actually lived not far fro where I was living at the time back in the States.
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    Dumb Things You Do When Youíre Under The Influence

    Drink some more.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    Here goes... I was once doing a show in Brighton England in the 70s, and after the end, had a few drinks... I was chatting to a young lady who I persuaded to come back up to London with me to my Chelsea house... (squat). She did, I don't remember much, but when I woke up and looked at her, I was quite horrified. The gap between her front teeth could have held a cigarette, and I am ashamed to say I quickly gave her ten pounds and said I had to do something urgently, and she should get the train home. She did.
    Fast forward a year or two, and I am doing a tour with the Psychedelic Furs, and one of the band was all excited his new girlfriend was coming to visit at the show in Brighton. We did the show and were all sitting in the bar afterwards where I was introduced to his girlfriend. I thought there was something familiar about her, but no memory. Then after a time, someone said something funny and she guffawed. Then I saw the front teeth and it all became awfully clear. She noticed my comprehension dawning, leaned over and said quietly, "I wondered when you were going to remember!" I wanted the earth to swallow me up but she was cool and never said anything...
    So, you're saying she squatted?
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  17. #17
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    My big embarrassment was creating a scene with a girl in front of a bunch of people (yes, I was drunk). She kinda did me wrong, but it was awful of me to scream at her in front of a bunch of people. And, it was on a boat, so there was no leaving. Lol

    To make matters worse, I was working in a stereo shop a few years later, and a guy came in, recognized me from that tirade and reminded me of it. I wanted the earth to swallow me up.
    tRump is SCUM.

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  18. #18
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    The dumbest things done under the influence are undoubtedly the things I don't remember...
    You didn't quit riding because you're old, you're old because you quit riding.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    The gap between her front teeth could have held a cigarette...
    But, wait. England, right?

    (sorry, couldn't resist)
    You didn't quit riding because you're old, you're old because you quit riding.

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    'one more and I gotta go'
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    I was enjoying a lot of spiced rum over the holidays and somehow found myself in the endless rabbit hole of watching YT videos on DIY woodshop benches.

    The only damage done was buying a pair of 20V to 18V adapters for my older Dewalt tools to use new 20V Li batteries. The planer, jointer and drill press are no longer in my shopping cart.
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    I once left the cabin where we were partying to go lay down in my truck. It was night time and pretty dark. As I walked off the porch there was a huge cedar tree just to the left, and for some reason it looked like a giant recliner. Since I wasnít sure I could make it all the way to my truck (my shoulders were getting heavy) I decided that big recliner was where I needed to be. I guess I got about half way up in the tree (recliner) and the limbs were poking me and it hit me that it wasnít a good idea, so I jumped out. Thatís the last thing I remember till my wife was driving me home. I slept in the next day
    DAAAANG...that was janky

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    On my last night of a snowboarding trip in Chamonix my friends got me super wasted. So much so that I was still hammered next morning when I had to fly and transfer in Hamburg before heading back to Edinburgh.

    I don't remember the first leg of the flight or the transfer but I do remember getting off the plane in Scotland with the worst hangover ever, and a massive lump on my head.

    Turns out I'd smashed my head off a wooden beam in the chalet prior to leaving France and was completely pain free until the booze (and other things) wore off.

    With hindsight I probably should have gone to an ER room rather than an airport.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by driver bob View Post
    On my last night of a snowboarding trip in Chamonix my friends got me super wasted. So much so that I was still hammered next morning when I had to fly and transfer in Hamburg before heading back to Edinburgh.

    I don't remember the first leg of the flight or the transfer but I do remember getting off the plane in Scotland with the worst hangover ever, and a massive lump on my head.

    Turns out I'd smashed my head off a wooden beam in the chalet prior to leaving France and was completely pain free until the booze (and other things) wore off.

    With hindsight I probably should have gone to an ER room rather than an airport.
    This brings back painful memories of similar shenanigans...
    It's all Here. Now.

  25. #25
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    ... and if we just ...

    My buddies threw me a surprise birthday party about 10 yrs ago at a Mexican restaurant under the guise of getting together to plan a trip to Moab. About 50+ ppl showed up. One of my friends brought an inflatable sex doll (female with blonde hair) and stuffed all the..err...all the "areas" with candy. People were eating candy out of the doll and getting their photo with the doll; even people not in our group. Party winds down, restaurant wants us out. I invite everyone to my house. My parents house was about 5 blocks from us. I get the bright idea to place the sex doll in my mother's unlocked vehicle, driver's seat and I put the seat belt on it. I laughed my ass off doing this and most of the rest of the night. Next morning I'm expecting a call from my parents--I'm the black sheep and pretty much should have been suspect number one. But no call came. A few days pass and I call my older brother to ask if he's spoken with our parents and if they mentioned anything strange. Turns out my brother found the doll the next morning (Sunday) when he was visiting after church. My dad flipped out. Blamed the incident on my sister-in-law (brother's wife) who was at a bachelorette party. When she didn't know anything about it, he had no clue. Called the police. They showed up. Advised him that there wasn't any real crime. This is now around noon on Sunday. So my dad puts on dishwasher gloves and cuts the doll up with garden sheers and then throws the doll (now in pieces with candies dripping out every which way) into the trash bin (big blue bin with 2 wheels about 4' tall). He forgets about it until Tuesday. My dad's leaving for work and the trash guys show up (bin is in front of the house now). The timing on this couldn't be more perfect--as my dad's backing out of the drive, the trash guys open the bin and see the doll. They immediately laughed so hard they couldn't stand up, they see my dad and give him the "thumbs up" sign.

    I'm laughing just remembering this. :-D

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    What about when you are super duper influenced and you see three toilets?
    How many sinks are there?
    MERCY! MERCY! MERCY!

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by bingemtbr View Post
    My buddies threw me a surprise birthday party about 10 yrs ago at a Mexican restaurant under the guise of getting together to plan a trip to Moab. About 50+ ppl showed up. One of my friends brought an inflatable sex doll (female with blonde hair) and stuffed all the..err...all the "areas" with candy. People were eating candy out of the doll and getting their photo with the doll; even people not in our group. Party winds down, restaurant wants us out. I invite everyone to my house. My parents house was about 5 blocks from us. I get the bright idea to place the sex doll in my mother's unlocked vehicle, driver's seat and I put the seat belt on it. I laughed my ass off doing this and most of the rest of the night. Next morning I'm expecting a call from my parents--I'm the black sheep and pretty much should have been suspect number one. But no call came. A few days pass and I call my older brother to ask if he's spoken with our parents and if they mentioned anything strange. Turns out my brother found the doll the next morning (Sunday) when he was visiting after church. My dad flipped out. Blamed the incident on my sister-in-law (brother's wife) who was at a bachelorette party. When she didn't know anything about it, he had no clue. Called the police. They showed up. Advised him that there wasn't any real crime. This is now around noon on Sunday. So my dad puts on dishwasher gloves and cuts the doll up with garden sheers and then throws the doll (now in pieces with candies dripping out every which way) into the trash bin (big blue bin with 2 wheels about 4' tall). He forgets about it until Tuesday. My dad's leaving for work and the trash guys show up (bin is in front of the house now). The timing on this couldn't be more perfect--as my dad's backing out of the drive, the trash guys open the bin and see the doll. They immediately laughed so hard they couldn't stand up, they see my dad and give him the "thumbs up" sign.

    I'm laughing just remembering this. :-D
    That's hilarious!


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    Quote Originally Posted by WHALENARD View Post
    That's hilarious!


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    That is hilarious, Iím wondering if bingmtbrs ever came clean with his parents and let them know it was his sex doll.

    This story not nearly as funny but similar.

    Many years ago I was given a surprise birthday party that also involved a sex doll. My girl acted like just the two of us were going out to dinner. She took me to Benegans in San Diego. As we were sitting there in come 2 other couple that were close friends of ours. We partied it up with several shots and drinks. One of my gifts was a blow up blonde sex doll. They insisted I take it with me as we all headed out the door.

    If that wasnít embarrassing enough there was a surprise limo waiting. We all jumped in and proceeded to hit every night club around San Diego. But, before hopping in the limo I stuck the doll on the rear tv antenna [lol]
    when the driver wasnít looking. He drove us from place to place and didnít notice until about the 3rd stop. He wasnít happy, that doll went home with me and my girl. I was living with my older brother at the time and when we arrived home at 3am he was sleeping. We stuck the doll in the hallway outside of his bedroom. The next morning a good laugh was had be we were bummed to find out his girlfriend didnít stay the night and walk out to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  29. #29
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    Way back in high school, I was at a party at beach house drinking loads of beer in the upstairs. Of course I had to pee really bad, but there was no upstairs bathroom and the stairs were blocked by two couples making out. I happened to notice a tall and narrow window near the corner that would be perfect for pissing out of. So I opened it up and let fly. It turns out that the window was right above the first floor doorway to the outside and I managed to piss all over a couple that was making out. The guy comes raging upstairs after I'd already disappeared into the crowd.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curveball View Post
    Way back in high school, I was at a party at beach house drinking loads of beer in the upstairs. Of course I had to pee really bad, but there was no upstairs bathroom and the stairs were blocked by two couples making out. I happened to notice a tall and narrow window near the corner that would be perfect for pissing out of. So I opened it up and let fly. It turns out that the window was right above the first floor doorway to the outside and I managed to piss all over a couple that was making out. The guy comes raging upstairs after I'd already disappeared into the crowd.
    So now I know who it was.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  31. #31
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    Ok, this was a long, long time ago!

    A couple of buddies and me went up to the lake and set up camp. We then proceeded to go out drinking and then returned with a bottle of Jack. We finished off the Jack and one of my friends started wading around in the lake. I decided to out do him and stripped nekkid and jumped in. Next thing I remember was waking up laying on the shore, still sans clothing. I was freezing and stumbled around looking for our tent with no luck. I finally huddled up against a tree and either passed out again or fell asleep, not sure which. I woke up again later and, still freezing, made another attempt to find the tent and this time, success! But then I couldn't find my sleeping bag so I attempted to climb into one of my buddies (occupied) sleeping bag. He would have none of that so I finally fell asleep (probably) just lying in the tent. The next morning I had scratches all, over, my, body.

    I'm still not a fan of whiskey.


    Many years later at the same spot, I took a girlfriend one evening and was looking around, in the dark, for a place to, umm, get comfortable. All of the sudden, a large animal very close to me started rushing right at me. Before I could react, it announced "I have a knife!" My quick response was "uh, ok". We had a bit of a standoff and then he gained his bearings (sort of) and explained that he'd been drinking and had no idea where he was or how he got there, he must have been passed out until my brushing through the woods brought him around. Maybe some kind of time warp where I met my former/future self? Except he had pants on, if I recall correctly.
    Last edited by chazpat; 01-07-2020 at 05:43 AM.
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

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    I once flushed a rosebush.

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    Oh man these are good. I'm crying laughing about the doll story.

  34. #34
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    Wow some of these are good. Kinda makes me glad to be a pretty chill drunk. The stupidest things I would do would be like go ride my bike, bum a cig off someone, or walk to the 24 hour diner.
    dang

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    Did a burnout in the kitchen of a house I was renting back in college with my then fairly new motorcycle. Luckily my roommate saw me do it otherwise Iíd never known what happened to that linoleum flooring! Needless to say I moved not much later...
    I like bikes

  36. #36
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    This was with my buddy Kevin RIP bud!

    There is a place called El Cholo, Mexican of course but back then was known for its Margaritas, needless to say we got hammered!

    First, we dine and dash not sure how we pulled that off. We get to his place (yes we drove this was a long time ago) and we remember his annoying downstairs neighbor that gave him a hard time about music. He even raised his speakers off the floor to reduce the sound.

    We then start blasting music, jumping on the floor, a few minutes and "ding, ding" doorbell.

    Girl came up all pissed off with a can of Raid, and was cursing and I don't know what I said, they finally left. A few minutes go by....

    "Open the door! Police!" All I remember is one cop threw me against the wall and cuffed me.

    Eventually, they let us stay home, all good, except for the 3 day eviction notice he got next morning. Good times!
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  38. #38
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    On a drunken dare, I ran across Angel Stadium during the 7th inning stretch. I was caught by a plainclothes cop and ticketed for trespassing
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vader View Post
    On a drunken dare, I ran across Angel Stadium during the 7th inning stretch. I was caught by a plainclothes cop and ticketed for trespassing
    But not escorted off the property?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawgzilla View Post
    But not escorted off the property?
    I was held in the stadium substation until the game was over, then released after the game.
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  41. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vader View Post
    On a drunken dare, I ran across Angel Stadium during the 7th inning stretch. I was caught by a plainclothes cop and ticketed for trespassing
    Not naked?

    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  42. #42
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    Caught myself on fire once drinking a flaming vodka.

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    I hate it when Iím on fire
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  44. #44
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    One time in high school, a buddy and I went to the movies. Before going in, we had some tequila, or similar. By some, I mean the two of us had enough to intoxicate 5 people.

    Mid movie, we decided we needed to go to the bathroom. Turns out Jeff needed to drop a doodie, but all the stalls were taken.

    So Jeff, in his intoxicated state, decided the next best thing was to leave it in one of the sinks.

    I said WTF are you doing??? He said I gotta go!!!

    So we went back to our seats, but then I had the first bright thought of the day and realized we needed to get the hell out of there.

    On the way out, the restroom was "Closed for Maintenance", and the people gave us some serious side eye, but no one confronted us.

    Sorry to the people that had to clean that up.

  45. #45
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    Text Picard @ 2 a.m....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ladmo View Post
    One time in high school, a buddy and I went to the movies. Before going in, we had some tequila, or similar. By some, I mean the two of us had enough to intoxicate 5 people.

    Mid movie, we decided we needed to go to the bathroom. Turns out Jeff needed to drop a doodie, but all the stalls were taken.

    So Jeff, in his intoxicated state, decided the next best thing was to leave it in one of the sinks.

    I said WTF are you doing??? He said I gotta go!!!

    So we went back to our seats, but then I had the first bright thought of the day and realized we needed to get the hell out of there.

    On the way out, the restroom was "Closed for Maintenance", and the people gave us some serious side eye, but no one confronted us.

    Sorry to the people that had to clean that up.
    Nasty!

    Reminds me of a Bruce Springsteen concert I went to years ago. In a coliseum with numerous bathrooms on every level. The two closest to us had lines outside of the womenís restrooms, so the women were going into the very crowded menís rooms. I go in and sprawled out in the 8í long metal piss trough was a young girl passed out. Dudes were laughing and pissing all around her. I went outside and found a security guard and told him. I went back to my seat never knowing of her outcome. Hope she didnít O.D. Pretty disgusting how some dudes are when under the influence.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  47. #47
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    I had a buddy that was a budding naturalist, went to State of NY College at Plattsburgh. His final year was at an extension campus that had what he stated was the "largest herd of buffalo in the east" During one drunken stupor of an evening he positioned that as buffalo are somewhat related to cows, and that as cows sleep standing up, maybe we could go "buffalo tipping".

    Buffalo do not sleep standing up. They cannot be tipped when they are standing up. They are not in the mood at 3AM to be tipped over.

    We survived.

  48. #48
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    Dumb Things You Do When You're Under The Influence-picsart_01-12-04.05.10.jpg
    tRump is SCUM.

    Hogan Lake blog. A section of Hogan Lake trails here.

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

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    What the hell is that?

    It looks like an industrial accident waiting to happen.
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  50. #50
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    Itís got ďCLIMB MEĒ written all over it
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    That is hilarious, Iím wondering if bingmtbrs ever came clean with his parents and let them know it was his sex doll.
    I did come clean but not for a few weeks after. Which at that point, my dad thought it was pretty funny too and had been telling all his friends/coworkers--all thought it was pretty hilarious.

  52. #52
    One ring to mash them all
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    Signed up to help move 200 60-lb. pavers for a trail work day.
    Women belong in the kitchen.
    Men belong in the kitchen.
    Everyone belongs in the kitchen.
    Kitchen has food.

  53. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Wow some of these are good. Kinda makes me glad to be a pretty chill drunk. The stupidest things I would do would be like go ride my bike, bum a cig off someone, or walk to the 24 hour diner.
    Whoah. That was YOU???
    tRump is SCUM.

    Hogan Lake blog. A section of Hogan Lake trails here.

  54. #54
    NDD
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    Whoah. That was YOU???
    Wut?

    Also last night I went to the bar and they had two guys doing ambient electronic music. Not the most exciting or creative, but at least a nice chill thing you could have in the background while talking to folks. These guys were traveling through on their way to Portland and their CD was $5 so I bought it, but I left it on the bar. How dumb!
    dang

  55. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    Whoah. That was YOU???
    lol! He's just sayin you should take it easy NDD, you're out of control.


    I used to eat it. Some of y'all probably remember me bailing down the basement stairs a few times.
    I'm not a robot

  56. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cornfield View Post
    lol! He's just sayin you should take it easy NDD, you're out of control.
    I am literally out of control.
    dang

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    I am literally out of control.
    A wild man of sorts.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  58. #58
    No known cure
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    I was in Iceland last month. I told the bartender I was going to another bar and she told me not to go, but didn't say why, so I went and got into a scuffle. Took one to the cheek bone and gave one back, then got kicked out. My mom picked me up from the airport and I lied. I said I slid my rental car into a ditch and kissed the steering wheel. She said, "You're 50 and need to knock that shit off".
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  59. #59
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    Too many...

    one bar wrecking brawl with my mates in Canada (happily we avoided capture by the police this was YEARS AGO)

    Fell off the hood of a moving car .. have knee issues to this day thanx to that brilliance. (high school)

    Jumped off the 2nd floor onto a wood patio a floor below a number of times (knees probably not made any better for this either) (college)

    slipped in a hotel bathroom shattered toilet reservoir tank with my right shoulder .. into 100s of pieces.. after taking an ambien / two vodka tonics... would have been fine (small bruise on shoulder) except I cut an artery in my right ring finger on a shard of glass and had to be rushed to ER before I bled to death...OOPS.. I lack feeling in this finger to this day (3~yrs on now). I will not take ambien ever again.. it is bad news...

  60. #60
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    Ambien IS bad news. I only wish that I was brave enough to share my full ambien/NyQuil story on this forum, but nope, only around a campfire. Too embarrassing. But like you atarione, NEVER AGAIN
    DAAAANG...that was janky

  61. #61
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    Vancouver 2002
    One early evening I was out with some coworkers having dinner and drinks. We proceeded to a bar and started drinking pitchers Molson. Iím not sure if it was that bar or the next but I remembered getting pissed that the waitress wasnít coming around as often and we were having to wait for a refill. I was told later that I disappeared for a bit then reappeared behind the bar. Apparently I worked the bar from 8-11pm without anyone saying a thing.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  62. #62
    TOP TIER LURKER
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    Going in bald headed
    life is... "All About Bikes"...

  63. #63
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    Note to self: Next time going camping, invite Sir Kayakalot along.
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by chazpat View Post
    Note to self: Next time going camping, invite Sir Kayakalot along.
    LOL
    No shit! Thatís some funny stuff. And 6280 Iím still wondering how much he made in tips that evening. Money for nothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  65. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by 6280 View Post
    Vancouver 2002
    One early evening I was out with some coworkers having dinner and drinks. We proceeded to a bar and started drinking pitchers Molson. Iím not sure if it was that bar or the next but I remembered getting pissed that the waitress wasnít coming around as often and we were having to wait for a refill. I was told later that I disappeared for a bit then reappeared behind the bar. Apparently I worked the bar from 8-11pm without anyone saying a thing.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I'm LOLing!
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  66. #66
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    Come on now, no one here got married in Vegas when they were drunk? I call BS.

  67. #67
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    I was at a bar and didnt want to lose my spot if I went to the little boys room. So I grabbed a big carafe that had a few goldfish crackers in it, stealthily placed it at waste level, and relieved myself. Success! Not sure what to do next I just put the carafe back on the bar as the goldfish slowly swelled up to about double their size. No one touched it the rest of the night (the carafe, that is).

    Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

  68. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOJO K View Post
    How many sinks are there?
    Where you been, man?
    tRump is SCUM.

    Hogan Lake blog. A section of Hogan Lake trails here.

  69. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott O View Post
    I was at a bar and didnt want to lose my spot if I went to the little boys room. So I grabbed a big carafe that had a few goldfish crackers in it, stealthily placed it at waste level, and relieved myself. Success! Not sure what to do next I just put the carafe back on the bar as the goldfish slowly swelled up to about double their size. No one touched it the rest of the night (the carafe, that is).

    Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
    You did what? >Scratches head<
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  70. #70
    M8 M12 M15 deez nuts
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    Rack up several hundred dollars at Jenson USA, Blue Sky Cycling, eBay, and Universal Cycles. Sometimes I buy the incorrect items. (imagine that?)
    Donít frail and blow if youíre going to Braille and Flow.

  71. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    You did what? >Scratches head<
    There was a container of gold fish snacks at the bar and he pissed into it and put it back on the bar.
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  72. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by 6280 View Post
    Vancouver 2002
    One early evening I was out with some coworkers having dinner and drinks. We proceeded to a bar and started drinking pitchers Molson. Iím not sure if it was that bar or the next but I remembered getting pissed that the waitress wasnít coming around as often and we were having to wait for a refill. I was told later that I disappeared for a bit then reappeared behind the bar. Apparently I worked the bar from 8-11pm without anyone saying a thing.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    That's one of the best stories that I've read!
    Riding Washington State singletrack since 1986

  73. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    You did what? >Scratches head<
    Pissed in a jar of goldfish at the bar and then put them back on the bar. What, are you telling me you've never done that!?!?

  74. #74
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    I woke up next to some real scary looking girls back in the day.

  75. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Curveball View Post
    There was a container of gold fish snacks at the bar and he pissed into it and put it back on the bar.
    Quote Originally Posted by Scott O View Post
    Pissed in a jar of goldfish at the bar and then put them back on the bar. What, are you telling me you've never done that!?!?
    Iíll just respond to both. I understood what he did I just donít grasp what he did. Iím just glad all my next to passed out activities werenít told to me the next day nor I did I remember them to tell. Wait, there was that one time.....

    I certainly didnít piss in a container of goldfish snacks and sit back and stalk it, waiting to see some unsuspecting sucker to take a chug.

    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    I woke up next to some real scary looking girls back in the day.
    Thatís ďCoyote UglyĒ...Did you wake up missing an arm?

    Dumb Things You Do When You're Under The Influence-2e46127c-09f3-4e6a-83c6-8c11a2c1134b.jpg
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

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