The Mere Mortal Meander Epic --- PLUS!!!- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
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    The Mere Mortal Meander Epic --- PLUS!!!

    This is an EPIC For Most Everyone - "The Mere Mortal Meander" and "Optional Expert Challenge"

    This should be a challenge for both the Intermediate and Expert riders alike. Read on...

    The focus here is really to get Intermediate riders out for a longer ride. As you read, it will seem like the focus is on the Experts, but it is really just an effort to get a bigger group. And, it should be VERY entertaining for the non-Expert participants.

    There is always interest in the bigger meaner EPICS by folks who aren't sure if they are up to the longer faster push. Well, this is an attempt to accommodate most. There is even an option for the Advanced riders. The plan is for about a 5 hour journey, at a very reasonable Intermediate Pace, with as little stopping as possible. There will be three scheduled stops. No drops.

    The Intermediate Ride: The ride will start from my house in Agawam at 8:30am. We will ride through Robinson heading west for a couple hours. We will then head South on pavement for about 2+ miles. Climb up onto the M&M ridge and ride it North, then back through Robinson.

    The Expert Ride: The terrain, pace and distance will be identical to above. In fact, the Experts will ride right along side the Intermediates, no faster, no further, and no slower (well maybe). The added Expert challenge will be completely in the form of "Trail Food". The "Expert Experience" starts at 8:20, 10 minutes before the Intermediates. At 8:20, you will need to be ready to ride. At which point you will have 10 minutes to down the THREE Mrs. Murphy's donuts that are presented to you (Yum!). Now let's ride! At the west end of the park, after a couple hours of riding, and before hitting the road section, you will then be presented with a "Trail Side Snack", an order of world famous, served up fresh, "Grill Fries" from the 911 restaurant! (More Yum!). 10 minute consumption time limit, but you should only need 5. Alright, let's hit the road and then up onto and back on the ridge. That will return us to the lovely 911 restaurant again. Time for "Expert Lunch"! On the menu today is the "Westfield Bomber", cooked just for you, along with a famous 911 Thick Milk Shake! (More and more and more Yum!). You get a full 20 minutes for lunch. Back to riding and the last trail section for an hour to an hour and a half. Back at my place, because you will hankering for something sweet, will be desert! A three scoop Banana Split! You get a 15 minutes on this one.
    My guess is a certain "Green" and "Hill Billy" are up to the Expert Challenge. But are there more...

    Important Info:
    Date: 10-23-2010
    Time: Ready to ride for 8:20 or 8:30, depending on your choice of ride!
    Location: My House in Agawam
    Bring: Some kind of munchie to share post ride (All should bring one, but this is mainly for the Intermediates, who will likely be the only ones that are hungry, but you never know...)
    I will have pizza for after. BYOB

    RSVP required for the Expert Option. Please let me know as soon as you can.
    Steve
    stevenrossi -at- rocketmail - dot- com
    413.786.3744
    If you didn't build the trail, don't mess with it.

  2. #2
    achiever
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    Whoa! Will barf bags be provided?

  3. #3
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    The expert option sounds awsome!

  4. #4
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    BTW....Im in for the expert ride. I'll be sure to stash a couple of rolls of Charmin up on the ridge. Can we request what type of donuts we want?


    One suggestion to the expert ride: experts meet at your house at 9:00pm the night before and have to finished a pre-determined amount of beers in a set time frame.

  5. #5
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    That does sound good. I'm not an expert but I LOVE to eat on my rides. Have fun.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by redwarrior
    Whoa! Will barf bags be provided?
    That's called a DQ!
    If you didn't build the trail, don't mess with it.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Mailloux
    BTW....Im in for the expert ride. I'll be sure to stash a couple of rolls of Charmin up on the ridge.
    Awesome!
    Entrepreneur note: I am thinking Charmin sales might be quite brisk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Mailloux
    Can we request what type of donuts we want?
    We aim to please! Now taking requests.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Mailloux
    One suggestion to the expert ride: experts meet at your house at 9:00pm the night before and have to finished a pre-determined amount of beers in a set time frame.
    Sounds like that might push it to the "Pro Option"
    If you didn't build the trail, don't mess with it.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by IJBCape
    That does sound good. I'm not an expert but I LOVE to eat on my rides. Have fun.
    Intermediate skill and fitness, plus a "ROCK-GUT" = Expert Status (on this ride anyway)
    If you didn't build the trail, don't mess with it.

  9. #9
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    I don't eat 3 Murphy's donuts in a year, let alone 10 minutes. I could probably do 1 & a beverage or 2 from the "Pro Option", however. But I'm not sure we want to go there...

    I'm in for whatever torturous options you can devise, by the way.

  10. #10
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    Oof. All the eating makes this ride sound brutal. That said, I feel confident I can win the pro category.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by smelly
    Oof. All the eating makes this ride sound brutal. That said, I feel confident I can win the pro category.
    Care to make a wager & ride it SS ?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by redwarrior
    Care to make a wager & ride it SS ?
    I like a good challenge. Sure.
    My KM is being repainted at the moment, but I'll have it back together by the 17th. I'll do this SS & rigid just like you.
    Last edited by smelly; 10-09-2010 at 08:15 PM.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHare
    Awesome!
    Entrepreneur note: I am thinking Charmin sales might be quite brisk.
    I will do one better, $20 a head to use the bathroom at my house. For those that don't know I live very close to the north end of the ridge / M&M.

    My other idea is the rent a porta-potty place it in the parking lot of the snack shack there and split all profits with the owner of that joint.

  14. #14
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    Haha ..this is classic!
    Generous adventure there Steve.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Mailloux
    I will do one better, $20 a head to use the bathroom at my house. For those that don't know I live very close to the north end of the ridge / M&M.
    $20?!?! No thanks.
    I'll use the yard instead. Sounds like that's free.

  16. #16
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    It's this Saturday! Please RSVP by Thursday either way, but it is MANDATORY for the "Expert Option".

    Who else is hungry?!?!
    If you didn't build the trail, don't mess with it.

  17. #17
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    I'm still in & the only way I guess I'm going to survive is to not eat on Friday.

    I already feel a rumbly in my tumbly.

  18. #18
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    I’m out.

    Saturday is the only day for the next week that my wife and I can spend together.

  19. #19
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    The Recap

    What a fun time! There were 13 riders and Boomer (the dog). Three were new to anything over the normal hour and a half to two hour rides. Five were in for the Expert option, along with Boomer and my "pinch-eater" (my 14yo son) who failed me epicly! The weather was great! We started with the donuts. Boomer was done in a flash and looking to hit the trail before others finished their first donut. Chaz was clearly up to this challenge with a commanding lead after stage1! Adam and Matt were also doing well, but not at the Chaz pace. Red and Royce (of "I Ride With Royce" fame) were definitely slowed by the first stage of the Expert challenge. And Mike, my pinch eater, was already faltering. He wasn't last, but the third donut was already changing his ideas about this competition, and his complexion a bit. Royce barely got the third in within the 10 minute time limit, but finished still smiling. The ride (proper) got underway and the intermediate pace was good for all. We did nearly two hours and it was time for X stage2. Grill Fries!!! This went off without a hitch and they were easily consumed in the 10 minutes allotted. We even had a few intermediate riders looking a bit envious. Back to riding for the two mile road section. Boomer and I took the car, that was spotted, for this portion. Then up onto the ridge and the only rugged portion of the ride. This was a fun section for all and we moved way faster than I guessed. Completed that section in about an hour and got back to the 911 Restaurant. Lunch was ready and waiting! X stage3 was not looking as inviting as stage2, right from the outset. The excitement levels were dimmed instantly, but the twenty minute clock was ticking. A half of a Grappler and a half of a Bomber were on each plate, along with an extra thick malted milkshake! The Grappler is eggs, roni, cheese, CHILI and spices. The Bomber is two burgers, piles of cheese, CHILI and spices and veggies. One guy doesn't eat meat, so we made a special mess of his egg grinder with plenty of hot spices to keep it fair. Again, Chaz stepped up to the challenge and finished with a commanding lead. He order more fries and even ate the leftover raw onions. A true champion was about to be crowned. Then, the other side... My son barely got in 1/3 of the grinder and had to down his whole shake to cool the fire in his throat. Luckily, my wife was there to cart him home. We live all of about 6 miles from there and he passed out in the car on the way home! Boomer downed a mini shake and single cheeseburger in a flash. She would have nothing to do with the chili laced leftovers from my son.(smart dog) Everyone, sans my pinch eater, made it in under the 20 minute time limit. Back to the trail and another 90 minutes of riding. The first good hill, after lunch, had a few nearly blowing chunks and looking a little ill (including Chaz). We rolled for a while from there and the food settled in. Some were still speaking of the donuts repeating from quite a while back. We finished the ride with only one broken chain, and only Chaz splatting on the ground on an uphill But the ride continued for X stage4. A three scoop banana split, with all the fixins! Pizza was ready for the non-Experts when we got back, so Chaz helped himself to a piece, while the Sundaes were being prepared All finished in the 15 minutes. My son never came outside for the fun. He was passed out on his bed for a full 4 hours with puke bucket at the ready. Adam was the second runner up and only a little off from the pace of the Champ. Matt was surprisingly a distant third on the day. My ideas were of Matt taking it to Chaz, but this would not be the case. Matt definitely gets honorable mention for starting the day with Eggs, before arriving. And finishing with pizza, after the Sundae. Red and Royce pretty much tied for DFL. Royce was clearly the slower eater, but Red had the much greener face. Boomer had a doggy sized Sundae and was fast a sleep on her bed, long before most finished their ice cream.
    The ride went very well and everyone had a great time! The intermediate participants were in much better condition at the end. Even the champ was not looking to do a ride like this again anytime soon. The second place champ, Adam, was back at our house in the evening for the Kids-Ride and cooking multiple post ride weenies for himself and was wondering when the next X-challenge would be.
    Thanks to my wife (as always) for helping with the majority of the logistics. So much for my son's great idea of team Rossi, pinch eating, and kicking butt

    PS - It was revealed that the Champ actual trained for this event, in the couple weeks prior. No kidding. Binge eating was employed to be in the best possible form for this event.
    If you didn't build the trail, don't mess with it.

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