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  1. #1401
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    The girl that the top of the page behind the butt crack that you would have to see every time you opened the page.

    After 6 months the crack is finally buried...

  2. #1402
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    Well done BlueCheesehead, well done...

  3. #1403
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrashCanipe View Post
    Well done BlueCheesehead, well done...
    I'm contemplating bringing it back ... would you hate me?
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    Sally is playing with Humpty Dumpty, both R down

  5. #1405
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    The girl that the top of the page behind the butt crack that you would have to see every time you opened the page.

    After 6 months the crack is finally buried...
    Is this a phone app view thing? Because I surf these forums on a laptop.
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

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    Quote Originally Posted by metalskool View Post
    Is this a phone app view thing? Because I surf these forums on a laptop.
    I only have an 8 years old laptop and i was seeing that pic. Do U have some parental thing that does not show all content? This would be post # 1201

  7. #1407
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    Quote Originally Posted by 33red View Post
    I only have an 8 years old laptop and i was seeing that pic. Do U have some parental thing that does not show all content? This would be post # 1201
    I found that post but it is on page #2 for me- seventh post down. When I open up a thread from an email notification it goes right to the newest post & page for me.
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  8. #1408
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    Good thing there is no update for 2020

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  9. #1409
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    Does that work for testicles?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    Good thing there is no update for 2020

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  10. #1410
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nurse Ben View Post
    Does that work for testicles?
    If it does, I don't want to find out.
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  11. #1411
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nurse Ben View Post
    Does that work for testicles?
    For the sake of gender equity, lets say yes.

  12. #1412
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    50+ Joke Thread-83554420_715429252318571_7932011302367526912_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  13. #1413
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    Hell, Michigan

    Attachment 1306871
    And, one of the best MTB trails runs right thru Hell.

  14. #1414
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    50+ Joke Thread-81833592_2569158333408840_135958731648139264_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  15. #1415
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  17. #1417
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    50+ Joke Thread-img_4688.jpg
    Going to a Minivan is really going to suck!

  18. #1418
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    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 50+ Joke Thread-1580236471_bkxnvthnoq.jpg  

    Devinci Marshall Carbon 27.5+

    Colorado Springs, CO

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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    Wait--where is Love Street? And the Darkness on the Edge of Town? Oh, never mind--This Must Be The Place.

  20. #1420
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    50+ Joke Thread-how-get-there.jpg

  21. #1421
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    Quote Originally Posted by paramount3 View Post
    Wait--where is Love Street? And the Darkness on the Edge of Town? Oh, never mind--This Must Be The Place.
    They left out Lakeside Park as well.

  22. #1422
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    Quote Originally Posted by honkinunit View Post
    They left out Lakeside Park as well.
    and where's the Burning House of Love?
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

  23. #1423
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    Quote Originally Posted by chazpat View Post
    and where's the Burning House of Love?
    Right next door to the House of the Rising Sun and caddy corner from the Love Shack...

  24. #1424
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    And my eyesight ain't what it used to be, so hot chicks still look like hot chicks. Hope that works both ways...

    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 50+ Joke Thread-82008911_1148815315463053_767623411571621888_o.jpg  

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  25. #1425
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    eating right matters, especially as we age...

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  26. #1426
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velobike View Post
    And my eyesight ain't what it used to be, so hot chicks still look like hot chicks. Hope that works both ways...

    That all works except for the part about "do not use drugs". Most seniors are taking multiple drugs for health issues, and a huge number drink like fish and take recreational drugs. https://www.theguardian.com/society/...s-smoking-weed

  27. #1427
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    Quote Originally Posted by honkinunit View Post
    That all works except for the part about "do not use drugs"...
    Part D, baby.
    Do the math.

  28. #1428
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    50+ Joke Thread-83465409_10158262783972792_6769917048991514624_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  29. #1429
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    This fits here.

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  30. #1430
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    Quote Originally Posted by jcd46 View Post
    This fits here.

    PED's??

  31. #1431
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    ^ I still find the Golden Girls entertaining and funny... JLo , not so much
    F*ck Cancer

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  32. #1432
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  33. #1433
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tribble Me View Post
    PED's??
    I'm old Tribble, what does that mean?
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    Quote Originally Posted by jcd46 View Post
    I'm old Tribble, what does that mean?
    PED = Performance Enhancing Drug

  35. #1435
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBaldBlur View Post
    PED = Performance Enhancing Drug
    Thanks!

    Lol probably
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  36. #1436
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    Quote Originally Posted by jcd46 View Post
    Thanks!

    Lol probably
    That's the Trouble with Tribbles!
    -Ray

  37. #1437
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    Some days Ibuprofen is a Performance Enhancing Drug though.

    Coffee is every day!

  38. #1438
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    50+ Joke Thread-84325545_2779423562171294_4097343275046797312_o.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  39. #1439
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    hilarious.

    edit: made me laff.
    Last edited by be1; 02-05-2020 at 04:42 PM.

  40. #1440
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    In a similar vein, I was on a charity road ride with a buddy. He was getting a bit chaffed and at one of the rest stops at the medical tent they had some creme that had a no name label, but said it was for pain... Well after rubbing a big glob down his bibbs he got "pain". It was a generic Icy Hot.

  41. #1441
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    It used to be if you got someone's cell number, it meant they were in jail....

  42. #1442
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    In a similar vein, I was on a charity road ride with a buddy. He was getting a bit chaffed and at one of the rest stops at the medical tent they had some creme that had a no name label, but said it was for pain... Well after rubbing a big glob down his bibbs he got "pain". It was a generic Icy Hot.
    On one of our charity rides, someone pulled into the feed stop and grabbed a gel from a volunteer. After stuffing his face with it he realized it was Chamois Butter. True story!

  43. #1443
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

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    When I was a young teen, me and some buddies got caught throwing water balloons over our backyard fence ... at cars driving down the road. Yeah totally stoopid, but it certainly was fun until the cop came scrambling over the fence 🙄

    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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  45. #1445
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    Quote Originally Posted by honkinunit View Post
    That all works except for the part about "do not use drugs". Most seniors are taking multiple drugs for health issues, and a huge number drink like fish and take recreational drugs. https://www.theguardian.com/society/...s-smoking-weed
    Don't forget that the senior population has the highest rate of STD's due to that "not worrying about getting pregnant" part and the easy access to Viagra.

  46. #1446
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    Quote Originally Posted by A/C in Az View Post
    Don't forget that the senior population has the highest rate of STD's due to that "not worrying about getting pregnant" part and the easy access to Viagra.
    I wonder if a diminished immune system is a factor with that. The idea that seniors are having more partners than people with high hormone levels doesn't compute.

    Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WHALENARD View Post
    I wonder if a diminished immune system is a factor with that. The idea that seniors are having more partners than people with high hormone levels doesn't compute.

    Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
    People with dementia simply end up getting it. They are like 3 years old in daycare. Trust me it is just not highly reported but this is a fact.

  48. #1448
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    Quote Originally Posted by 33red View Post
    People with dementia simply end up getting it. They are like 3 years old in daycare. Trust me it is just not highly reported but this is a fact.
    Due to having more partners/intercourse?

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    Quote Originally Posted by WHALENARD View Post
    Due to having more partners/intercourse?

    Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
    They end up in centers, not remembering they are married with lots of free time. Things happen. It only takes 1 infected person and ... You have heard of the regular cases of popsicle. Here upnorth they are found allmost undress in minus 20 sometimes frozen solid. Well they just do not realize what they do. That is why they are locked to protect them from themselves. Family members can go out with them but we are then their parents protecting them even if they were our parents for decades.

  50. #1450
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    Wow. I'm really looking forward to the retirement home now.
    Do the math.

  51. #1451
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Rager View Post
    Wow. I'm really looking forward to the retirement home now.
    just pray your eyesight is gone by then.
    This post is a natural product. Variances in spelling & grammar should be appreciated as part of its character & beauty.

  52. #1452
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    Quote Originally Posted by 33red View Post
    People with dementia simply end up getting it. They are like 3 years old in daycare. Trust me it is just not highly reported but this is a fact.
    I certainly don't miss the days when my 3 year old would come home from daycare with STDs...

  53. #1453
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    Speaking of retirement homes,

    At the retirement home Bob walked up to Gladys and said, "Hi! It's my birthday today."
    Gladys said, "Wait, let me guess how old you are."
    She then put her hand down Bob's pants and felt around for a few minutes, and then she said, "You are 83."
    Bob said, "Wow, how could you tell that?"
    Gladys replied, "Your friend Dave told me this morning."

  54. #1454
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    Harold is a sensitive new age gentleman. He is 90 years of age.

    Harold trundles up to the pharmacy.

    "Yes , what do want Harold ", asks the Pharmacist.

    Harold responds "I want a 6 pack of viagra, with each tablet cut in quarters"

    "Why Harold, a quarter of a Viagra tablet will not give you a full erection" says the Pharmacist.

    "I know that" replies Harold "but at least it will be long enough so I don't pee on my slippers"
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  55. #1455
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    Quote Originally Posted by A/C in Az View Post
    Don't forget that the senior population has the highest rate of STD's due to that "not worrying about getting pregnant" part and the easy access to Viagra.
    Actually, that's not true:

    "What groups are most at risk for acquiring an STI?
    While anyone can become infected with an STI, certain groups, including young people and gay and bisexual men are at greatest risk.
    CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every year in this country.
    Young people (ages 15-24) account for 50% of all new STIs, although they represent just 25% of the sexually experienced population.
    Both young men and young women are heavily affected by STDs — but young women face the most serious long-term health consequences. It is estimated that undiagnosed STDs cause 24,000 women to become infertile each year.
    Compared to older adults, sexually active adolescents 15-19 years of age and young adults 20-24 years of age are at higher risk for acquiring STIs for a combination of behavioral, biological, and cultural reasons.
    The higher prevalence of STIs among adolescents reflects multiple barriers to accessing quality STI prevention services, including lack of insurance or other inability to pay, lack of transportation, discomfort with facilities and services designed for adults, and concerns about confidentiality."

    But yeah, getting pregnant is not the only reason for practicing safe sex.

    I gotta wonder about all these old folks claiming to be interested in having sex. In my experience as a medical provider, the desire to have sex decreases with age, few postmenopausal women want to have sex, and men lose the desire to have sex over time; not to mention that men lose the ability to have sex.

    When I was working in nursing homes we had some promiscuous folks, mostly men, though some women. It was bad enough that we had to move a couple ladies to other units because we had a few men who were preying on women. I prescribed depo provera to one man who was going into women's rooms and having no consensual sex. I don't know that it helped all that much as it didn't reduce his desire ... nor did telling him to knock that shite off.
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  56. #1456
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    Funny joke, Ben. But seriously..............nah. Fuggetaboutit. This is a joke forum. My question has no place here.
    -Ray

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    Nursing homes are a different world, as are some of the folks who live there...

    My favorites are the screamers. I’d come in and there staff would immediately tell me to “fix that one first”.

    Screamers: “nurse, nurse, nurse, ....”

    It could go on for hours, and the staff can’t close the door because that’s overly restrictive 🤣

    Quote Originally Posted by Radium View Post
    Funny joke, Ben. But seriously..............nah. Fuggetaboutit. This is a joke forum. My question has no place here.
    -Ray
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    I don'[t know where nurse ben got his info since he didn't list a source, but....

    https://www.aarp.org/health/conditio...std_cases.html
    Across the nation, and especially in communities that attract a lot of older Americans, the free-love generation is continuing to enjoy an active — if not always healthy — sex life.


    At a stage in life when many would expect sexually transmitted diseases to be waning, aging baby boomers are once again busting stereotypes, setting records and breaking rules.
    Recent increases of 43% in one year.
    STD's are 83% higher than a couple years ago.

    Google std's among seniors
    Many medical sources and they all confirm that the younger generations are having less sex, have fewer diseases, and the seniors are popping viagra like candy.

  59. #1459
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    My wife told me i need to stop behaving like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

    Wife: Stop being an idiot. Just be yourself.
    Me: Make your mind up!

    Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on other days I let her sleep in.

    My wife is like a newspaper, a new issue everyday.

    My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. We went out, had drinks and it turns out he’s a web designer.

    I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.

    Today my wife left me because I am insecure. Oh wait! She's back, she just went to get coffee.

    To the person who stole my glasses. I will find you, I have contacts.

    I spent $100 on a new belt that didn't fit, my wife said it was a huge waist.

  60. #1460
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    50+ Joke Thread-83243852_2664614966919509_787940178839732224_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  61. #1461
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    Happy Hump Day

    50+ Joke Thread-84499458_3074313745935430_2343224574902009856_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  62. #1462
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    Why Seniors never change their passwords:

    WINDOWS:
    Please enter your new password.

    USER :
    Cabbage

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

    USER
    Boiled cabbage

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

    USER:
    1 boiled cabbage

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

    USER:
    50damnboiledcabbages

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character

    USER:
    50DAMNboiledcabbages

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

    USER:
    50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveM eAccessNow!

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

    USER:
    ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss IfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

    WINDOWS:

    Sorry, that password is already in use

  63. #1463
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    50+ Joke Thread-image009.png

  64. #1464
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    50+ Joke Thread-image020.jpg

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    ^^^HAhahaha!^^^^

    You know, Tribble, in this forum, mistakenly substituting the T for a D in your screen name could have serious (hilarious) consequences!
    Just call me Ray

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBaldBlur View Post
    Yet, one of the only consistent things in that young ladies life......
    Just call me Ray

  67. #1467
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radium View Post
    ^^^HAhahaha!^^^^

    You know, Tribble, in this forum, mistakenly substituting the T for a D in your screen name could have serious (hilarious) consequences!
    Please No Typos!!

  68. #1468
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  69. #1469
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    50+ Joke Thread-image079.jpg

  70. #1470
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    50+ Joke Thread-image083.jpg

  71. #1471
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  72. #1472
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    how true that is.....
    always mad and usually drunk......

  73. #1473
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    50+ Joke Thread-87639270_3520257534683258_1310187221118091264_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  74. #1474
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    50+ Joke Thread-9504f05a.gif

  75. #1475
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    ^^^^Wise man!
    Just call me Ray

  76. #1476
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    50+ Joke Thread-87853966_2831906383571052_3202559788944719872_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  77. #1477
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    Good one 'Licious!^^^^^
    Just call me Ray

  78. #1478
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    50+ Joke Thread-fullsizerender.jpg

  79. #1479
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    ^ love it! Some of us will remember this guy

    50+ Joke Thread-89334367_1829730450493168_5817265875077562368_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  80. #1480
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    50+ Joke Thread-post-41145-0-95061400-1583478964.jpg

  81. #1481
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    ^^^ No real humor there. Please, can people just get back to panic and over-reaction.

  82. #1482
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    ^^^ No real humor there. Please, can people just get back to panic and over-reaction.
    It sucks when satire doesn't even approach the reality of a situation.

  83. #1483
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    .

    Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

  84. #1484
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2old View Post
    .

    Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk
    Is that because you have no friends, therefore cant get it
    always mad and usually drunk......

  85. #1485
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    Ready to wipe out a lot of the population.

    50+ Joke Thread-87672809_517179822527613_1513336111907209216_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  86. #1486
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    That is what some orange master dictates.
    - Scott towels
    - shit paper
    - a free wall
    - No country will let them out.
    - Greatest wall street lost, a gift from the greatest looser.
    - Just in time to cancel the election...

  87. #1487
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    Quote Originally Posted by 33red View Post
    That is what some orange master dictates.
    - Scott towels
    - shit paper
    - a free wall
    - No country will let them out.
    - Greatest wall street lost, a gift from the greatest looser.
    - Just in time to cancel the election...
    Please keep the politics off the board as the rules state. This is a joke thread, correct?
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

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  88. #1488
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtrider127 View Post
    Please keep the politics off the board as the rules state. This is a joke thread, correct?
    Well said. I come here to read about bikes- not politics. I just unfollowed worldwide cyclery on youtube for crossing that line.
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  89. #1489
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    I've noticed Trumpsters are becoming *very* touchy lately. I wonder why?

  90. #1490
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    ^^^

    Was there a joke in there?

    Take it elsewhere.

  91. #1491
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    ^^^

    Was there a joke in there?
    "Trumpsters"

  92. #1492
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    Quote Originally Posted by honkinunit View Post
    I've noticed Trumpsters are becoming *very* touchy lately. I wonder why?

    Probably because the the nevertrumpsters only want to fight like Biden does.
    I didn't start this political crap on here but I won't sit idly by while my views are mocked. I thought this was a joke thread not a podium for propaganda?!
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  93. #1493
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    Quote Originally Posted by metalskool View Post
    Probably because the the nevertrumpsters only want to fight like Biden does.
    I didn't start this political crap on here but I won't sit idly by while my views are mocked. I thought this was a joke thread not a podium for propaganda?!
    I don't want to fight, I just want you to pull your heads out of your asses and actually make a reasoned judgement on what your idiot leaders are saying and doing. Trump said just yesterday, don't worry about coronavirus, it will be going away. What kind of leadership is that? Your Presidential Medal of Honor winner Rushbo said coronavirus is just like the common cold and is a left wing conspiracy against Trump.

    Use your ****ing brains and we won't make fun of you.

  94. #1494
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    Quote Originally Posted by honkinunit View Post
    I don't want to fight
    Sounds to me like you do. AGAIN, I thought this was a joke thread not a political podium. I come here to read about bikes not politics.
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  95. #1495
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    I know you're singing this...

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  96. #1496
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    The name of the thread is 50+ joke thread. Please keep it as such and not ruin the fun of the many posts here.

    FB has plenty of areas to post political views if you feel the urge. (or so I'm told since I choose not to have an account on social media, other than MTB sites) Carry on...
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

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  97. #1497
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtrider127 View Post
    The name of the thread is 50+ joke thread. Please keep it as such and not ruin the fun of the many posts here.

    FB has plenty of areas to post political views if you feel the urge. (or so I'm told since I choose not to have an account on social media, other than MTB sites) Carry on...
    dude. where can you go to get cogent political opinions? i always go here. doesn't everybody?

  98. #1498
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    Quote Originally Posted by be1 View Post
    dude. where can you go to get cogent political opinions? i always go here. doesn't everybody?
    Indeed, this site is known for polite and thoughtful discussion of politics, as some of the recent posts show.

    Not.

    If anyone wishes to write or rant one way or the other about our president, please do it elsewhere. I don't think it's possible to mention his name without starting a ruckus.
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  99. #1499
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    I appologize. You do not have to react so hard because you do not see the brigthess smartess most stable genius considering scotttowels a top solution very funny like i do.
    I know 2 canadians stupid enough to drive south in the next few weeks.

  100. #1500
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    Back to jokes:

    A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Harvard student replies "At Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition." The kid said, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"

    And...
    50+ Joke Thread-bizarro-comics-dan-piraro-173-5ab21d5509acc__700.jpg
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  101. #1501
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    Back to real issues of concern like fibre

    5 Great Toilet Paper Recipes For Idiots Who Forgot To Buy Food 

    50+ Joke Thread-toilet-paper-recipes-2.png

    You’ve contracted coronavirus, you’ve been told you need to self-isolate for 14 days, and instead of buying things you actually might need – like food – you bought 80-dozen rolls of toilet paper. Whoops!

    Luckily, there are some creative ways to bring those 960 rolls of 3-ply to life in a range of delicious dishes.

    Spag Bog Roll: Everyone has their own take on this family classic. Some people use red wine, others add caramelised onions, while others still like to include shredded carrots. Unfortunately because you’re a dumbass you don’t have any food – so you’re going to need to take it back to basics.

    Tear 4 x bog rolls into long thin strips. Heat in a saucepan of boiling water for 8-9 minutes or until they dissolve in a mush on your teeth. Drain, then serve. You can freeze any leftovers for later in your self-isolation period.

    Chicko Toilet Rolls:Find as much random shit from around the house as you can – doesn’t matter if you don’t know what it is – stuff it all into a roll of toilet paper, heat in a microwave for 30 seconds, leave uncovered for 8 hours, then serve in a small paper bag. Some people will vomit it up immediately which is a great way to get your filling for the next batch.

    Spring Toilet Rolls: Deep-fry a dozen toilet paper rolls, drain, place on a small white plate, then eat before they have properly cooled down.

    Sushi Toilet Rolls: Toilet paper is traditionally eaten cooked, but this Japanese delicacy throws that idea on its head. Simply take a roll of toilet paper out of the packet and eat it raw. Engine oil and green paint make great substitutes for dipping sauces. Try to find toilet paper rolls that you’ve panic-bought recently – the fresher the better!

    Sausage Toilet Rolls: You probably haven’t thought to buy any meat for your isolation, but that’s ok, because sausage rolls don’t have meat in them anyway. Heat a roll of toilet paper in a pie warmer for 24-36 hours. Serve cold in a bag.
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  102. #1502
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tribble Me View Post
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    That's friggin' awesome.
    tRump is SCUM.

    Hogan Lake blog. A section of Hogan Lake trails here.

  103. #1503
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gasp4Air View Post
    Indeed, this site is known for polite and thoughtful discussion of politics, as some of the recent posts show.

    Not.

    If anyone wishes to write or rant one way or the other about our president, please do it elsewhere. I don't think it's possible to mention his name without starting a ruckus.
    Interesting, he's not our pres and we rant about him without being political at all.

  104. #1504
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    Quote Originally Posted by NordieBoy View Post
    Interesting, he's not our pres and we rant about him without being political at all.
    If anyone wishes to write or rant one way or the other about the U.S. president, please do it elsewhere. I don't think it's possible to mention his name without starting a ruckus.

    Fixed it.
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  105. #1505
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    50+ Joke Thread-89626391_3141819165839595_3977479971995123712_o.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  106. #1506
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    true that
    always mad and usually drunk......

  107. #1507
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post

    Click image for larger version. 

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    I love how they took the time to Photoshop a roll of TP onto a plate, instead of simply getting a roll and a plate and taking a pic.
    tRump is SCUM.

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  108. #1508
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    I know your singing this one too! Black sabbath-


    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 50+ Joke Thread-89451439_2948386811863200_2881774080380370944_n.jpg  

    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  109. #1509
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gasp4Air View Post
    If anyone wishes to write or rant one way or the other about the U.S. president, please do it elsewhere...
    But isn't this the joke thread?
    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
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  110. #1510
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velobike View Post
    But isn't this the joke thread?
    Admirers and detractors have called him many things, but but I don't recall "funny" being one of them.
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  111. #1511
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    Folks, I appreciate a good argument as much as anyone, and I've gotten into some good ones on internet forums. But I think all of us also like to come to places like the 50+ joke forum for some relief. Could we please, please drop all political discussion here? No more replies, no more trying to get in the last word, no more defenses or explanations of previously posted political material. No more lateral references to political figures. Let's just drop it and move on.

    I wish I had a good joke to post to help us move on, but alas, on this forum I am a shameless consumer, not a producer.

  112. #1512
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    Quote Originally Posted by paramount3 View Post
    Folks, I appreciate a good argument as much as anyone, and I've gotten into some good ones on internet forums. But I think all of us also like to come to places like the 50+ joke forum for some relief. Could we please, please drop all political discussion here? No more replies, no more trying to get in the last word, no more defenses or explanations of previously posted political material. No more lateral references to political figures. Let's just drop it and move on.

    I wish I had a good joke to post to help us move on, but alas, on this forum I am a shameless consumer, not a producer.
    Members on this site are from all around the world.
    In many countries people laugh at adversity.
    If you do not that is out of our control.
    After a tsunami, an earthquake many jokes cover those tragedies.
    The orange simili king said many times he is not a politician.
    Talking about a political subject means you consider him a liar.
    People were not listening to the reality show to learn about business,
    he is a bouffon, they were laughing about him just like all real Billionaires and all people in NY.
    Do not worry he is banning us out so you will live in your own ...

  113. #1513
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    just sad......
    Gonna ride my bike
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

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  114. #1514
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtrider127 View Post
    just sad......
    Gonna ride my bike
    ~agreed, I rode mine today, no joke!
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  115. #1515
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    ...
    Last edited by DeadGrandpa; 3 Weeks Ago at 06:06 AM.

  116. #1516
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    The symptoms of the Coronavirus seem to be the same as a hilltop finish in a local bike race.

    Except people are clapping and happy to see you in that condition.

  117. #1517
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    If you have to make a political point in a joke thread... please be funny.

    Otherwise someone is bound to throw in some religion too

    50+ Joke Thread-89772271_1537574379730943_2863030207445467136_o.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  118. #1518
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    I have 16 rolls of Charmin and only 300 rounds of ammunition to defend it. Should I be worried?

  119. #1519
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    This must must be the miracle of the 10 rolls of toilet paper that wiped 10,000 butts.

    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  120. #1520
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldBlue950 View Post
    I have 16 rolls of Charmin and only 300 rounds of ammunition to defend it. Should I be worried?
    Absolutely.
    Just call me Ray

  121. #1521
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeadGrandpa View Post
    I didn't ride my bike today because of the pollen, to which my fiancee is allergic. But I thought about riding my bike, and that thought displaced all negative thoughts about El Presidente.
    Since our snow fat season will end soon i started at 6H under the moon, climbed to enjoy the sunrise at 7H, had breakfast at 9H, went for a second ride and was real tired by 12 with a huge smile. You so called **americans** are the best! That orange thing a few voted for is my prefered color sunrise/sunset.
    With all my love and sympathy i send you my second ride.
    Today will be colder i might squeeze in 3 rides, please find a joke i need to sleep a bit.
    Here is a joke...
    i love foetus
    i love guns
    i am a foetus killer
    If you do not laugh you are a republican get cured.

  122. #1522
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    so now we've crossed the joke thread into bashing republicans and praising abortions? Wow, this is going bad fast.
    Strong, Light, Cheap; Pick Two.

  123. #1523
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    Quote Originally Posted by 33red View Post
    Since our snow fat season will end soon i started at 6H under the moon, climbed to enjoy the sunrise at 7H, had breakfast at 9H, went for a second ride and was real tired by 12 with a huge smile. You so called **americans** are the best! That orange thing a few voted for is my prefered color sunrise/sunset.
    With all my love and sympathy i send you my second ride.
    Today will be colder i might squeeze in 3 rides, please find a joke i need to sleep a bit.
    Here is a joke...
    i love foetus
    i love guns
    i am a foetus killer
    If you do not laugh you are a republican get cured.
    Please seek out help, and I'm not talking about the virus.

    Now can we get back to funny old fart jokes?
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

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  124. #1524
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    50+ Joke Thread-89970761_1780905068711356_6536269711397617664_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  125. #1525
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    ^^^^ This will be worst than any virus can throw at you
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

    -Urban Yeti
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  126. #1526
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    Chuck Norris has just been exposed to the corona virus. The virus is now in isolation for 14 days.

  127. #1527
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    Illinois has closed all bars and restaurants, but some in Southern Illinois are defying the order, proving that So. Ill. is not just an abbreviation, it is a way of life.

  128. #1528
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    and a great song to boot! I had to listen to it a few times after reading this post. I especially enjoyed the 1974 Rainbow Fest version. Man, those guys sound good live!!

    Quote Originally Posted by metalskool View Post
    I know your singing this one too! Black sabbath-


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  129. #1529
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldBlue950 View Post
    I have 16 rolls of Charmin and only 300 rounds of ammunition to defend it. Should I be worried?
    Only if the virus makes people into zombies ....
    GG Megatrail (Braaap!)
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    Pivot Shuttle (wife's)

  130. #1530
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    50+ Joke Thread-89913654_3298189803528722_5965686286831321088_n.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  131. #1531
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
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    Nice one! Ha Ha
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

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  132. #1532
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  133. #1533
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  134. #1534
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    Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember the good ol days?

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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  135. #1535
    Maaaaan
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    I'm looking for volunteers, for my Human Anticipated Repopulation Emergency Management project.

    Perks include the good stuff, varieties of 2 and 3 ply TP.
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  136. #1536
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtrider127 View Post
    Please seek out help, and I'm not talking about the virus.

    Now can we get back to funny old fart jokes?
    He means well, in a recent-major-blunt-force-head-trauma kinda way.
    Just call me Ray

  137. #1537
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nurse Ben View Post
    I'm contemplating bringing it back ... would you hate me?
    It should be spackled with blue cheese, not that I am advocating major violence against bluecheesehead or anything even close..
    Just call me Ray

  138. #1538
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  139. #1539
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    2018 XL Trek Fuel 7 EX
    2016 XL Framed Wolftrax Fat Bike

  140. #1540
    9 lives
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    y'ah filthy animal
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  141. #1541
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    Our best family argument every year around Christmas:

    What's your favorite "Home Alone" movie?

    I go for the original!

  142. #1542
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    Quote Originally Posted by Radium View Post
    It should be spackled with blue cheese, not that I am advocating major violence against bluecheesehead or anything even close..
    Glad to hear any violence coming my way will not be "major".

  143. #1543
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  144. #1544
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  145. #1545
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    Devinci Marshall Carbon 27.5+

    Colorado Springs, CO

  146. #1546
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    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus.

    It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

    Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?

    A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



    Q: Where will the government get this money?

    A: From taxpayers.



    Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?

    A: No, only a smidgen of it.



    Q: What is the purpose of this payment?

    A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.



    Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

    A: Shut up.



    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:



    * If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

    * if you spend it on gasoline, it money will go to the Arabs.

    * if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.

    * if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

    * if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

    * if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

    * if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    (1) Spending it at a yard sale, or

    (2) Going to a ballgame, or

    (3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

    (4) Beer, or

    (5) Tattoos

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

    CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

    Now all we need is a ballgame.

  147. #1547
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  148. #1548
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    The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

    “What are you doing?” she asked.

    “I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work.,” the daughter-in-law answered.

    “But you’re NAKED!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

    “This is my Love Dress.” the daughter-in-law explained.

    “Love Dress? But you’re naked!”

    “My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home from work any minute.” The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left.

    On the way home, she thought about the Love Dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door.

    Finally, her husband got home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

    “What are you doing?” He exclaimed.

    “This is My Love Dress.” She replied.

    “Needs ironing,” he said.
    "We'll ride it until they pave it."

    -Urban Yeti
    Dirttreaders.com

  149. #1549
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  150. #1550
    Bikesexual
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    Lol!!!^^
    Surly Krampus
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  151. #1551
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    Home made stuck in the house covid-19 joke.

    Dave: “So i got one of them new fangled electric bikes.”
    Frank: “How do you like it?”
    Dave: “Not so much.”
    Frank: “Why’s that?”
    Dave: swats a mosquito and says... “Every time i plugged my bug zapper into it, the motor would overheat!”

  152. #1552
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    For those jonesing for a bike race...

    4 stages available:


  153. #1553
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  154. #1554
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    ^^^ I won't be un-seeing that one for a while....
    Just call me Ray

  155. #1555
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    I would have waited, and taken a second picture when she smells her fingers.


    Maybe that's a given.
    Surly Krampus
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  156. #1556
    All fat, all the time.
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    And we wonder why germs spread like mad.

    Gross!!

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  157. #1557
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    Gnar

    Sent from my moto g(6) forge using Tapatalk
    It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

  158. #1558
    9 lives
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  159. #1559
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueCheesehead View Post
    CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

    Now all we need is a ballgame.
    Surely the professional lady would provide that as one of her services...
    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  160. #1560
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    Caution;  Merge;  Workers Ahead!

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  161. #1561
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    Warning!!!

    If you get an email with the subject "Knock Knock", Do Not Open It!

    I did and it was a Jehovah Witness working from home.

    Took me 15 minutes to read all the way to the end!

  162. #1562
    All fat, all the time.
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    Lol^^

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  163. #1563
    Bikesexual
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    Good news!
    Surly Krampus
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  164. #1564
    cmg
    cmg is online now
    passed out in your garden
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    Quote Originally Posted by jcd46 View Post
    Good news!
    Damn! Im moving to the States, with 10g lll get at least 3 new bikes
    always mad and usually drunk......

  165. #1565
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  166. #1566
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  167. #1567
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  168. #1568
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  169. #1569
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  170. #1570
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  171. #1571
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    Quote Originally Posted by Velobike View Post
    I guess the punch line is whether you crap in the toilette or the yard, you're still missing the TP.
    Do the math.

  172. #1572
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    Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.

    His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

    He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.

    When all is ready he begins to speak:

    "My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.

    "My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."

    "My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.

    “Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river."

    The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property".

    The wife replies,
    “The asshole had a paper route."

  173. #1573
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  174. #1574
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  175. #1575
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    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 50+ Joke Thread-1585594292_d4ajqf1cni.jpg  


  176. #1576
    9 lives
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    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  177. #1577
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

  178. #1578
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    My favorite thread currently - just what's needed.

    By the way Bluecheesehead, for months I scrolled off that first screen on page 7 as fast as I could. I did not want to see that again. When I read your thread, I cracked up.
    My mantra: Hike, Bike, Paddle, Ski

  179. #1579
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    Just think. In 8 weeks 88% of blondes on earth will disappear.

  180. #1580
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    Quote Originally Posted by ksj View Post
    Just think. In 8 weeks 88% of blondes on earth will disappear.
    That's the worst news in a month!

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

  181. #1581
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    As little bike as possible, as silent as possible.
    Any bike, anywhere, anytime.
    Latitude: 57º36' Highlands, Scotland

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