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Thread: The MTB Rules

  1. #1
    Team NFI
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    The MTB Rules

    http://mountain.bike198.com/rules-tr...ents-mountain/

    1. Pay It Forward – Tubes, quick-links, a helping hand. You’ll need it one day too.

    2. You brought it out…you bring it home – No one likes a litterbug. Keep the trail clean.

    3. Know your role – Fast climber? Get up front. Slow descender? Get in the back.

    4. Bike worth does not equal biking ability – Everyone loves the latest and greatest…but it doesn’t increase skill.

    5. Be Self Sufficient – Always bring what you need…and sometimes more.

    6. Know Basic Bike Maintenance – Be able to fix your own flat…

    7. Treat Other Riders Like You Would Want To Be Treated – No one likes a jackass.

    8. It’s Only A Race If The Other Participants Know They Are Participating – You didn’t beat your friend on the climb if you are the only one that knew it was a race.

    9. If A Rider Catches You…It Doesn’t Mean They Want You To Ride Faster – Move to the side and let the rider by. Also see #3.

    10. Music While Riding Is Great…Unless You Are Oblivious – If you are going to wear earphones while riding, check around you constantly for other riders.

    11. Know Your Abilities – Don’t get too far over your head.

    12. Just Because You Can’t Ride It…Doesn’t Mean Others Can’t – Mountain biking should be a progression. Not all trails can be wide and groomed.

    13. You Have Zero Room To ***** If You Didn’t Work On The Trail – Try not to be a backseat driver to trail work.

    14. There Is No Cure For UGI – Upgradeitius is a serious disease for which there is no cure.

    15. Beware Of Rider Recommendations – The best bike for a friend may not be the best bike for you. Everyone thinks they are on the best mountain bike on the market.

    16. Don’t Be “That Guy” – You know the one…the guy that brags about his time on local loops and doesn’t ride anywhere else. Enjoy your ride…it isn’t a contest.

    17. In Shape Does Not Equal Technical Ability – You are in shape…awesome…but that does not make you a better rider. It just makes you able to ride longer.

    18. Riding Keeps You Young – Yes…that guy that is twice your age will still drop you.

    19. No One Looks Good In Lycra…Especially Mountain Bikers – Bring a change of clothes…lycra is not “going out” wear.

    20. Mexican Food Is The Perfect After Ride Meal – Don’t know why…it just is.

    21. Diversity Is A Good Thing – Different bikes, different styles, different personalities. It would be dreadfully boring if we were all the same.

    22.Any Holiday Is An Excuse To Ride – Why are we riding today? Because today ends in a y.

    23. Support Those That Support You – Support your local IMBA and local advocacy chapters. They do more than just work on trails.

    24. Online Superstars Type More Than Ride – Time worrying about online arguments is time you could spend on the bike.

    25. Riding Is The Best Therapy – Self explanatory…

  2. #2
    sproket buster
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    RULE 24, some of the users of this forum should really pay attention


    RULE 1 rules!!!
    Live to ride, ride to live... out of Mississauga.

    MTB: Cannondale HT--------Pavment: Specialized Sirrus

  3. #3
    Evil Jr.
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    While all good points, this list lacks some of the panache of the roadie "RULES". There needs to be more sniping about the revealing nature of white bib shorts and the ins and outs of wool jersey maintenance (yes, they do need to be washed once in a while...).
    Please enjoy seeing this terrible collection of me - something wonderful is about to happy.

  4. #4
    sock puppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by garage monster View Post
    While all good points,
    What about #10 and #19

    Seeing a MTB rider with iPod earphones plugged in his ears is annoying... There was one guy at 2007 Transrockies that had the music on all the time and he was singing along while riding easier sections of the course... Boy, was that annoying, and it was not just me. He also looked like a goof, dancing on his bike while riding.... Personally, I do not believe MP3 players belong on the trail, but if it is someone's piece of favourite cake - all good...

    Whatsup with #19? Either the author of these rules doesn't look good in lycra or he has some weird fetishes. I know the topic has been beaten to death but clothing is as personal preference as pedals... I am suggesting add-on rules:

    #26: Only flat pedals are real MTB components. Clipless are for fat and unskilled.
    #27: 29ers are only for MTB touring and poseurs. Real MTBers ride 26" bikes with 15" of travel.
    #28: Wear a full face helmet only if you are single. It is a chick magnet.
    #29: Be a stakeholder, dammit, and ride only progressive and sustainable trails.
    #30: If found on the trail, treat with beer.

    Anything else?

  5. #5
    Evil Jr.
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    Quote Originally Posted by osokolo View Post
    Seeing a MTB rider with iPod earphones plugged in his ears is annoying... There was one guy at 2007 Transrockies that had the music on all the time and he was singing along while riding easier sections of the course... Boy, was that annoying, and it was not just me. He also looked like a goof, dancing on his bike while riding.... Personally, I do not believe MP3 players belong on the trail, but if it is someone's piece of favourite cake - all good...
    How dare you diss California Steve! He and his partner British John were the life of the race! I'll never forget watching him churn over the crest of a pass, wailing Sweet Child O' Mine at the top of his lungs. Priceless!

    <iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/P-AYAv0IoWI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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  6. #6
    mtbr member
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    I like Osokolo's suggestions:

    I don't care what pedals you ride, but I gave up clipless for flat pedals years ago.
    You should be allowed to wear headphones, but if you can't hear me coming or heed my warning, I should be allowed to run you off the trail.
    I'm not against Lycra, but it should be used judiciously. There should be a body fat index which makes the use of Lycra illegal. I know this is MTB related, but I ride road and there are some real horror shows out there.

    When out on the trails, if you see a fallen log, bunch of rocks, anything that looks like a kicker, teeters, skinnies or any other feature, don't be in a rush to ride by. Always ask yourself "How can I ride over that, jump off it, or have fun on it ?" I am all for stopping and playing on "features" man made or otherwise. Sometimes it's time to put the hammer down and sometimes you have to play.

    Lighter means it will break or wear out faster.

  7. #7
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    12. Just Because You Can’t Ride It…Doesn’t Mean Others Can’t – Mountain biking should be a progression. Not all trails can be wide and groomed.
    Not everything above 6 inches needs to be buried, cut, bulldozed, and so on.

    4. Bike worth does not equal biking ability – Everyone loves the latest and greatest…but it doesn’t increase skill.

    17. In Shape Does Not Equal Technical Ability – You are in shape…awesome…but that does not make you a better rider. It just makes you able to ride longer.
    Translation... when the trail gets twisty with challenges get the frak out of my way. It also means don't use every bit of straight away to sprint past me like Curt Harnett going after a Tim Bit, it will decrease my cursing as I tail gate your arse in the technical. And the burning desire to restart Road Kill Off Road Velo.

  8. #8
    Team NFI
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    Quote Originally Posted by osokolo View Post

    Whatsup with #19? Either the author of these rules doesn't look good in lycra or he has some weird fetishes. I know the topic has been beaten to death but clothing is as personal preference as pedals... I am suggesting add-on rules:
    These are the only acceptable body types for lycra wearing.






  9. #9
    Ms. Monster
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    Rule #31: Whatever you ride is superior to what anyone else rides. Also, you are a better rider than anyone else. No one else understands.

  10. #10
    Ms. Monster
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    Rule #32: Women on mountain bikes are only good for objectification.

  11. #11
    mtbr member
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    14. There Is No Cure For UGI – Upgradeitius is a serious disease for which there is no cure.
    What do you mean there's no cure - you run out of things to upgrade or you go retro.

  12. #12
    No. Just No.
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    Rule # 33: Anyone who needs 32 rules to impart common sense they are lacking naturally, please go find another activity.

  13. #13
    sock puppet
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    weak excuse

    you buy a new bike and start upgrading it...

    Quote Originally Posted by aerius View Post
    What do you mean there's no cure - you run out of things to upgrade or you go retro.

  14. #14
    sock puppet
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    is that good or bad?

  15. #15
    mtbr member
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    The only rule that matters 1. Any rules posted on the internet should and will be ignored
    Friends don't let friends cheer for the TML

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerdgirl View Post
    Rule #32: Women on mountain bikes are only good for objectification.
    We all know women do it to men.The difference is women do it stealth and deny it.

  17. #17
    namagomi
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    Holy crap that is a lot of rules... I think headphones are fine, though it's not UCI santionced to have both in at the same time! No Tom Bombadil **** either... your rendition of Britney spears I'm a slave for you is probably just embarrassing.

    Here are some more corrosive corollaries.
    3) Going fast to pass me ok, but you move so slowly to the right when you get balled up in the technical section. why?
    5) Don't treat other riders like they're your free mechanic, if you can't bother to pay a shop todo the work why expect it for free when you get stranded in the middle of nowhere! I know mistakes happen but sometimes the same people have the same problems every few rides!
    11) Don't be a dufus.

  18. #18
    mtbr member
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    What is missing is something comparable to the roadie rule # 4.... HTFU !! by Chopper Reid and the Youtube link..

  19. #19
    humber river advocate
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    here's a couple more....

    -if your shoes match your jersey, which match your helmet, which match your tights you will be known as "biker fox"

    -wagon wheels will continue to be rediculed just because it so easy and you are guaranteed instant hilarity (though be prepared for a diatribe that runs for hours)

    -point out short comings of clipless pedal users, you are guaranteed even more hilarity.
    (though be prepared for a diatribe that runs for days)

    -repeat often that "mountain biking is serious business"
    broadcasting from
    "the vinyl basement"

    build trail!

  20. #20
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    As we all know the older we get the hearing and the eye sight starts to go I wish people would make a little more noise when they come flying up behind. I will move for anybody but I can't always hear you and no I do not have headphones in. I am just getting old unfortunately .

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by gmstrek8 View Post
    As we all know the older we get the hearing and the eye sight starts to go I wish people would make a little more noise when they come flying up behind. I will move for anybody but I can't always hear you and no I do not have headphones in. I am just getting old unfortunately .
    I had a car horn I picked up from the scrap yard mounted on my commuter bike as a gag years ago, I spliced in a feed to my light batteries and wired up a switch to make it all work. Boy oh boy was that ever fun. I kinda wish I'd taken it on the trails and honked at a few riders to see their reactions.

  22. #22
    Moderator Moderator
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    I know a few people who could do with becoming familiar with these rules.....

    I like them.

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