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Thread: Lawyer Jokes

  1. #1
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    Lawyer Jokes

    Since the mood seems to be Lawyers who are a joke, how about some fun.

    I will start it off with a classic

    What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the Ocean?

    A good Start

    Will Kalopore be changing its name to Kalopoor?

  2. #2
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    Angus Young turned 50 today and he still rips.
    The singletrack problem got a name, number,e-mail, home and a true face today.
    Life is good
    Some easy listening

    AC/DC
    Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

    1. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
    2. Love At First Feel
    3. Big Balls
    4. Rocker
    5. Problem Child
    6. There's Gonna Be Some Rockin
    7. Ain't No Fun Waiting Around To Be A Millionaire
    8. Ride On
    9. Squealer

  3. #3
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    If I had a million dollars
    Me could pay for Western and Queens
    If I had a million dollars
    You see me do this by all Means

    If I had a million dollars
    People would see me the Dispute Resolution King
    If I had a million dollars
    The resulting Insurance nightmare would really Sting

    If I had a million dollars
    My home would be paided by Lawsuits
    If I had a million dollars
    Death to the trail maintainance Roots

    If I had a million dollars
    I would have plenty of time for Mediation
    If I had a million dollars
    While volunteers worry about the Litigation

    If I had a million dollars
    You guys would need an Ontario Bar Association
    If I had a million dollars
    I mean the one with the XXX Abbreviation

    If I had a million dollars
    Your riding would be out of Luck
    If I had a million dollars
    Do you think I would give a

  4. #4
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    I don't know any

    I dont know any good lawyer jokes but I know a lawyer who is a JOKE.

  5. #5
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    What a Joke.

    If a lawyer is sueing over a broken neck and later the public uncovers the fact that he is found to be SPINELESS , do we still all have to pay to defend the law suit?

  6. #6

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    Joke

    Whats the diffrence between a lawyer and a Fat White Lab Rat .


    People get attached to lab rats.


    Har Har Har

  7. #7
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    Can you enlighten me on why Lawyers are such a joke?
    Trev!

  8. #8
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    Idea! more lawyer jokes

    I have more lawyer jokes for all mtb riders:

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too closely and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
    The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically that his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

    When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

    "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

    "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

    The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

    "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

  9. #9
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    Caution;  Merge;  Workers Ahead! Lawyer in Maine

    Lawyer in Maine:

    A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two. One summer he invited a Czech friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.
    One morning, as the lawyer and his Czech friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears; a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.

    Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his high-powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, he was plagued by visions of lawsuits from his friend's family, but he just had to save his friend. Luckily, the bears were still there.

    "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, levelled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female.

    "What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"

    "Exactly," replied the sheriff, "and would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"

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