i just lost my dad- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
    GAME ON!
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    i just lost my dad

    and i can't ride. that is normally how i find solace. sh*tty deal.

  2. #2
    Muskoka
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    My condolences, sorry to hear that.
    ps - maybe try to ride with some friends. I just did that with a friend who has lost his dad in the past week, and I believe that was good for him.
    Last edited by BlackCanoeDog; 03-27-2011 at 03:43 PM.
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  3. #3
    sock puppet
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    my condolences....

    Quote Originally Posted by saturnine
    and i can't ride. that is normally how i find solace. sh*tty deal.
    may your father rest in peace and you and your family be strong enough to move on...

    trails will be waiting for you...

  4. #4
    mtbr Decade+
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    Big bummer, Saturnine.

    Maybe talkin would be therapeutic? Tell us about it.

    Was he sick? etc.
    "I love being on a bike. It helps me feel free. I get it from my dad", by Guillaume Blanchet

  5. #5
    bi-winning
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    That's awful news.

    May he rest in peace.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by saturnine
    and i can't ride. that is normally how i find solace. sh*tty deal.
    my condolences....

    I lost my mom at 66 years young. Never had a chance to see the studio. I found the best way to deal with it is to be around people who support you. Please come by the studio anytime & do a cycle class with us & stick around for a coffee, my compliments to you!
    pm me for a time or sched. Would love to have you!

    all the best

  7. #7
    sock puppet
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    way to go Sandro

    Quote Originally Posted by scarsellone
    my condolences....

    I lost my mom at 66 years young. Never had a chance to see the studio. I found the best way to deal with it is to be around people who support you. Please come by the studio anytime & do a cycle class with us & stick around for a coffee, my compliments to you!
    pm me for a time or sched. Would love to have you!

    all the best
    Classy...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biggie
    Big bummer, Saturnine.

    Maybe talkin would be therapeutic? Tell us about it.

    Was he sick? etc.
    essentially sick for 63 years. deathly so for 4. strokes and heart attacks in addition to a congential heart defect reduced to him to nothing more than bones in a bed. not much of a life, if you ask me. the man i thought i was incvincible, sadly, was not. i am only 28 and there were quite a few things that i had hoped to be able to share with him yet. it's funny how you can come to terms with the inevitable and still somehow be shocked by it.

  9. #9
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    sorry to hear that.
    never easy to lose someone.
    time heals.

  10. #10
    Lemmy Rules!
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    So sorry for your loss.
    Strava made me do it....

  11. #11
    namagomi
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    Saturnine, sorry to hear about your loss. Spring will be here sooner than you think so until then stay strong. You have my condolences.

  12. #12
    Evil Jr.
    Reputation: garage monster's Avatar
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    I've been there too. My Dad died when I was 25 and it sucked. It still sucks. I miss him a lot. As nutty as it sounds, I do get to talk to him in my dreams and it always makes me feel better in the morning.

    My condolences.
    Please enjoy seeing this terrible collection of me - something wonderful is about to happy.

  13. #13
    mostbrokenestscaphoidever
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    Quote Originally Posted by saturnine
    essentially sick for 63 years. deathly so for 4. strokes and heart attacks in addition to a congential heart defect reduced to him to nothing more than bones in a bed. not much of a life, if you ask me. the man i thought i was incvincible, sadly, was not. i am only 28 and there were quite a few things that i had hoped to be able to share with him yet. it's funny how you can come to terms with the inevitable and still somehow be shocked by it.

    Sorry to hear Saturine...

    As much as we can mentally prepare for dealing with the death of a loved one, it will still be a shock of not being able to see them again.

    Best thing to do is think about all the good times and cherish the memories of your dad in all the moments you did have him. I grew up without a father (he left us when I was little) and I don't have any memories except bad ones.

    You should go out and ride your bike when you get a chance. Grab a bunch of your friends and ride in his honour. I sure think that will be a good feeling.
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  14. #14
    Lemmy Rules!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mysty
    You should go out and ride your bike when you get a chance. Grab a bunch of your friends and ride in his honour. I sure think that will be a good feeling.

    An excellent idea. It would be a privilege to be a part of this ride, if it happens.
    Strava made me do it....

  15. #15
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    Saturnine,
    I am sorry to hear your loss. I was JUST in your position two weeks ago - my dad passed on 3/15.
    I had to hop on a plane (luckily I was just up in Nashville visiting him the week before, upon his admission to the hospital, but had come back to TX) as soon as I got the call that things were looking worse. I considered driving for the sole fact that I could bring my bike...I didn't know how else I would be able to work thru it/find solace/leave it behind or hell, just manage myself without that tool around. Due to the nature of the condition, time was of the essence and well...driving nor flying could get me there in time.

    I did make sure to take the time to have quiet reflection and meditation. I also stayed busy enough (settling estate matters, sorting possessions, making arrangements for his remains, etc) that I was able to keep my mind off the sadness for a lot of the time, but you have to let yourself grieve and do it openly. I was as open as I could be with mine, and thought that I had it all out of me (for now, I understand it will come in waves), but apparently I left some bottled up because my back feels a bit jacked right now.

    Listen, you will get through this, with or without your bike. Lean on those who offer support if you feel the need to. Work through remembering as many of the good times as you can. Write them down, share them and ask some others to do the same.

    If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know. I can tell you that today is my first day back to normalcy (ie: office, work) and it is waaay under-rated.

    Take care man. FWIW, I am 32 and my dad was 62, the end came fast despite his having been sick for about 2 years.

  16. #16
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    Sorry to hear, my condolences to your and your family.

    I can relate a bit, whenever something like this has happened in my life, I have a hard time doing the regular things I do for enjoyment or to get rid of stress etc, like riding, or even just listening to music. I somehow feel guilty trying to take my mind off of it. Sometimes forcing yourself to go out on a relaxing social ride with your closest riding pals, will definitely help clear your mind; you can share some good memories and talk about other things; even though it feels tough to do at first, it will probably be really good for your state of mind. Again, sorry to hear, and hope you're doing ok.

  17. #17
    Looking for Adventure
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    Sorry to hear about your loss
    Was there not too long ago
    You will ride again after this initial shock
    Go out as much as you need, alone or with good friends
    Solo rides will help you yell out your anger, or talk to your dad
    Hard rides will give you some feeling of calm
    Donít be afraid to cry, it really helps
    Donít let anyone tell you to get over it
    Donít be hard on yourself
    Let people in to give you support
    Cherish the memories
    SUCCESS - To be able to spend life in your own way

  18. #18
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    So sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something profound to make you pain go away. I cant it, and it wont (for a long time).

    Like others have said, go ride when you are ready. Talking with people you respect helps, but don't get too hung up on guilt. Everyone has regret when loved ones die,and we fret over things we should have done. Regardless of how old we are, we go back to feeling like kids when a parent dies.

    I think the shock is related to the esteem we hold our parents in, as they are/were people we all look up to. They are super-human and we think they will live forever.

    Cherish your memories,and try to live up to the expectations/values your dad taught you...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5heTJ65bdhU
    It's only pain......

  19. #19
    I dd what you see there.
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    I'm sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    "The greatest compliment to someone who has passed, is to live your life and keep their memory alive."

  20. #20
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    thanks all. you guys are pretty compassionate when you're not bickering with each other. i may take part in the imba thing on april 9th just to get out. who knows.

  21. #21
    humber river advocate
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    sorry to hear that saturnine, keep busy, time heals
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    build trail!

  22. #22
    Evil Jr.
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    Quote Originally Posted by saturnine
    thanks all. you guys are pretty compassionate when you're not bickering with each other. i may take part in the imba thing on april 9th just to get out. who knows.
    You'd be more than welcome to join us. Nothing better than swinging a Pulaski and hanging out with a good group of like-minded people to lift your spirits.
    Please enjoy seeing this terrible collection of me - something wonderful is about to happy.

  23. #23
    9 lives
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    Sorry for your loss Saturnine
    Give yourself some time to grieve
    Take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise and get enough sleep

  24. #24
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    condolences saturnine, i agree with everyone, the rides will definitely help in more ways than one.

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