OT: Thursday night funny- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
    Disco-Superfly
    Reputation: Jake_HT's Avatar
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    OT: Thursday night funny

    It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma
    to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their
    jobs
    After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
    sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
    mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and
    then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
    some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots (marked
    with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance
    Engineers.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
    accident.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------


    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget
    pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget
    Jake
    Yeti 303 WC 25th

    Quote Originally Posted by Dwight Moody
    Didn't you read the sticker on that shock? It said not to do whatever you did.

  2. #2
    mtbr member
    Reputation: Stevirey's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    jets

    I only reply because I really thought that was pretty funny.I was flying on a 44 passenger Convair prop jet.I noticed,(I was sitting on the wing)window,and noticed black oil running over the engine.Little streams from front to back.I told the stuardess(sp!)She said" Oh,that engine always does that"I said,Could I have another drink?She smiled and said,"Sure"

  3. #3
    moaaar shimz
    Reputation: tacubaya's Avatar
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    Hahahaha they are really funny....

  4. #4
    Ghost ride the whip!
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    Apr 2005
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    I used to be a helicopter mechanic. We had a copy of that floating around the shop for months.

  5. #5
    Schmeow Productions
    Reputation: JBsoxB's Avatar
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    May 2004
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    5,396
    hehehe...

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