Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    mtbr member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    438

    I thought someone here might enjoy this.

    It's Saturday night, I'd nothing to do, no one to do nothing with, so I've nearly finished the bottle of Molly Dooker Cab in front of me, and spent the intervening moments between sips from my glass reading my favorite books from my small but respectable library. Here is a noteworthy passage:

    "As for his feet, sometimes he wore on each a sock, or on the one a
    sock and on the other a stocking, or a boot, or a shoe, or a slipper,
    or a sock and a boot, or a sock and a shoe, or a sock and a slipper,
    or a stocking and boot, or a stocking and shoe, or a stocking and
    slipper, or nothing at all. And sometimes he wore on each a stocking,
    or on the one a stocking and on the other a boot, or a shoe, or a
    slipper, or a sock and a boot, or a sock and shoe, or a sock and
    slipper, or a stocking and boot, or a stocking and shoe, or a stocking
    and slipper, or nothing at all. And sometimes he wore on each a boot,
    or on the one a boot and on the other a shoe, or a slipper, or a sock
    and boot, or a sock and shoe, or a sock and slipper, or a stocking and
    boot, or a stocking and shoe, or a stocking and slipper, or nothing at
    all. And sometime he wore on each a shoe, or on the one a shoe and on
    the other a slipper, or a sock and boot, or a sock and shoe, or a sock
    and slipper, or a stocking and boot, or a stocking and shoe, or a
    stocking and slipper or nothing at all. And sometimes he wore on each
    a slipper, or on the one a slipper and on the other a sock and boot,
    or a sock and shoe, or a sock and slipper, or a stocking and boot, or
    a stocking and shoe, or a stocking and slipper, or nothing at all.
    And sometime he wore on each a sock and boot, or on the one a sock and
    boot and on the other a sock and shoe, or a sock and slipper, or a
    stocking and boot, or a stocking and shoe, or a stocking and slipper,
    or nothing at all. And sometimes he wore on each a sock and shoe, or
    on the one a sock and shoe and on the other a sock and slipper, or a
    stocking and boot, or a stocking and shoe, or a stocking and slipper,
    or nothing at all. And sometimes he wore on each a sock and slipper,
    or on the one a sock and slipper and on the other a stocking and boot,
    or a stocking and shoe, or a stocking and slipper, or nothing at all.
    And sometimes he wore on each a stocking and boot, or on the one a
    stocking and boot and on the other a stocking and shoe, or a stocking
    and slipper, or nothing at all. And sometime he wore on each a
    stocking and shoe, or on the one a stocking and shoe and on the other
    a stocking and slipper, or nothing at all. And sometimes he wore on
    each a stocking and slipper, or on the one a stocking and slipper and
    on the other nothing at all. And sometimes he went barefoot."

    There are far more offensive quotes I could share, from the same eminent author, if anyone wants.

  2. #2
    hehe ...you said "member"
    Reputation: jake7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,121
    WTF??????
    “Me fail english? Thats unpossible.” - Matt Groening

  3. #3
    mtbr member
    Reputation: longman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    539
    I'm so glad I don't read.

  4. #4
    Stiff yet compliant
    Reputation: Moustache rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    1,895
    Quote Originally Posted by perioeci
    I've nearly finished the bottle of Molly Dooker Cab in front of me...
    Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge. But you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here (undecipherable slurring) five dollars?! Get outta here!

  5. #5
    percocet pioneer.
    Reputation: $ally Hu$tle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    931
    I feel like I should draw it out on paper like a math word problem in 4th grade

  6. #6
    mtbr member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    438
    Quote Originally Posted by $ally Hu$tle
    I feel like I should draw it out on paper like a math word problem in 4th grade
    Bingo!

    http://kasmana.people.cofc.edu/MATHF...llnumber=mf427

    More jollity from our good Sir Beckett:

    "She went by the peaceful name of Ruth, I think, but I can't say for
    certain. Perhaps the name was Edith. She had a hole between her legs,
    oh not the bunghole I had always imagined, but a slit, and in this I
    put, or rather she put, my so-called virile member, not without
    difficulty, and I toiled and moiled until I discharged or gave up
    trying or was begged by her to stop. A mug's game in my opinion and
    tiring on top of that, in the long run. But I lent myself to it with a
    good enough grace, knowing it was love, for she had told me so. She
    bent over the couch, because of her rheumatism, and in I went from
    behind. It was the only position she could bear, because of her
    lumbago. It seemed all right to me, for I had seen dogs, and I was
    astonished when she confided that you could go about it differently. I
    wonder what she meant exactly. Perhaps after all she put me in her
    rectum. A matter of complete indifference to me, I needn't tell you.
    But is it true love, in the rectum? That's what bothers me sometimes.
    Have I never known true love, after all? She too was an eminently flat
    woman and she moved with short stiff steps, leaning on an ebony stick.
    Perhaps she too was a man, yet another of them. But in that case
    surely our testicles would have collided, while we writhed. Perhaps
    she held hers tight in her hand, on purpose to avoid it."

  7. #7
    Bad Andy
    Reputation: andychrysler's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    877
    Mmmmmmkay - that's disturbing!

  8. #8
    now in superlight!
    Reputation: daddyguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    130
    AAAAAAAGH! Bad visuals!!! My eyes should be blind!!
    If you don't stop whining- I'll call the whaaaa-mbulance!

  9. #9
    PDB
    PDB is offline
    SUFD
    Reputation: PDB's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    249
    LOL -
    omg, could there be a better thread to define your "dweller" status? I guess I'm in the same boat but for different reasons - conversely, my moments of alcohol induced entertainment rarely make it past my self indulgent eyes. Interesting quote though - Next time I'll try to show up with a bottle of Centanario to ensure that it can't do to far... or at least that the thought process has a reason to kill itself

    Maybe some pop culture for the masses?

    "I don't recall ever asking their names.
    I'd always given them a name.
    There was no rhyme or reason to the names I chose. Just the first name that came to mind as I looked them over.
    It's funny to me how "willing" my participants were.
    Total strangers eager to play along for a tenth of my week's salary.

    I prefer my women to be raven-haired. Did you know that brunettes only make up 6.8 % of escorts/exotic dancers?

    That's right. Gentlemen prefer blondes.

    I am not a gentleman."


    Of course, my favorite quotes from that book might get me booted from the boards.
    Want to go green? Want to be low impact?
    Buy 2nd Hand Products!

  10. #10
    mtbr member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    8,972
    Please don't drink anymore.

Members who have read this thread: 0

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

THE SITE

ABOUT MTBR

VISIT US AT

© Copyright 2019 VerticalScope Inc. All rights reserved.