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  1. #1
    Killer of Chains
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    Studies prove Prophet is best bike ever

    I just took my 18lbs Prophet out for a 24hr endurance race, it pretty much climbed faster than every bike out there, motorized or not. It also allowed me to take first place in the downhill competition over the past weekend, and every pro rider was jealous of me. It makes 40' drops to flat feel like butter, and Floyd Landis pretty much admitted that he would've won the Tour had he been on a Prophet instead of a girly road bike.

    Cannondale decided yesterday they would no longer be producing any other frame besides the Prophet, and when you search Google for "Prophet", there is no mention of any religious leader, just links to Cannondale sites.

    Chuck Norris recently rode a Prophet, and when he came back from the ride, he had seen both the beginning and end of time.

    The Prophet is no longer classified on Cannondale's website as being all-mountain, its classified under "Everything".

    The Bush administration also admitted today that it had not actually seen WMDs in Iraq, but Prophet wanna-bes'.

    So today, on April 1st, I'm going to take my Prophet out for a ride with God himself, riding a Specialized. I'll leave him the dust.

  2. #2
    Ridin' dirty!
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    I also recently heard that the 10th Mountain Division and Army Special Forces purchased a bunch of Prophets, Lefty equipped of course (to make room for a frame mounted Gatling Minigun) to be used in the Afghanistan/Pakistan Mountain regions.
    See attached image!
    Attached Images Attached Images
    "Common sense isn't always that common!"
    Custom Prophet and Custom Delta V

  3. #3
    LA CHÈVRE
    Reputation: Dan Gerous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cdalemaniac
    I also recently heard that the 10th Mountain Division and Army Special Forces purchased a bunch of Prophets, Lefty equipped of course (to make room for a frame mounted Gatling Minigun) to be used in the Afghanistan/Pakistan Mountain regions.
    See attached image!
    I think the 'handmade in USA' and the US flags should be bigger on that one...

    DAN.GEROUS.NET : MOUNTAIN BIKING : CYCLOCROSS : ROAD :

  4. #4
    Ridin' dirty!
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    But then it wouldn't be stealthy anymore...
    "Common sense isn't always that common!"
    Custom Prophet and Custom Delta V

  5. #5
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    Al Gore confessed to the details of the inspiration that led to his advent of the internet happened. . . while riding his Prophet.

  6. #6
    Live 2 Ride
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    Prophet the best? Please...
    My Bike: '19 Giant Talon 2 29er
    My Blog: http://http://kona0197.wordpress.com/

  7. #7
    LA CHÈVRE
    Reputation: Dan Gerous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kona0197
    Prophet the best? Please...
    You can't debate what's the best bike: to me, the best bike is the one I have the most fun on. To some, the Prophet is exactly it.

    DAN.GEROUS.NET : MOUNTAIN BIKING : CYCLOCROSS : ROAD :

  8. #8
    More than somewhat.
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    In Soviet Russia, Prophet rides you.

  9. #9
    Live 2 Ride
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Gerous
    You can't debate what's the best bike: to me, the best bike is the one I have the most fun on. To some, the Prophet is exactly it.
    Agreed!
    My Bike: '19 Giant Talon 2 29er
    My Blog: http://http://kona0197.wordpress.com/

  10. #10
    More than somewhat.
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    Are we talking about bikes?

  11. #11
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    Sometimes I throw on some fenders and use my Prophet for commuting (I can take stairs vs. needing sissy ramps this way) but I always felt something was missing

    PS, any idea where to get ammo boxes in carbon fiber?

    Ray


    Quote Originally Posted by cdalemaniac
    I also recently heard that the 10th Mountain Division and Army Special Forces purchased a bunch of Prophets, Lefty equipped of course (to make room for a frame mounted Gatling Minigun) to be used in the Afghanistan/Pakistan Mountain regions.
    See attached image!

  12. #12
    mtbr member
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    18lb. prophet? i wanna see that.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duncan1104
    18lb. prophet? i wanna see that.

    That's the higher side or average for a Prophet... Where have you been?


    Cannondale engineers were forced to divide the square root of negative zero to calculate where the pivot should be.

  14. #14
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    18lbs

    a prophet at 18pound is impossible to built. I built my rush carbon with all the best and lighest part to achieve a 20.21lbs. So I think its not possible to have a lighter bike with a heavier frame.

  15. #15
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    my prophet actually weighs 6.66 pounds- a bright orange/red friend of mine with horns and pitchfork gave it to me. i can ride my usual 15 mile loop in about 50- 55 seconds on it... backwards. i bunny hopped the empire state building once and took a 6000 foot vertical to flat into hell. then my prophet held up to its name, grew wings and a halo and did the return climb in 3 minutes flat.

    talk about a bat out of hell- damn these things are fast!

  16. #16
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    The motorcycle on the album "Bat Out of Hell" by Meatloaf is in fact, a rebadged Prophet.

  17. #17
    discombobulated SuperModerator
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    Does someone need a calendar???????

  18. #18
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    You ******** bragging about your super light girlie bike Prophet’s make me sick.
    Real men aren’t weight wienies. Real men want a HEAVY duty bike that can take the punishment. I filled my prophet’s frame with LEAD so it weighs 476 pounds.
    Now THAT’s a MAN’S BIKE. I ride up hill in MUD everyday. I train on Jupiter where the gravity is 10 times that of what you wussies here on Earth have.
    Deal with it.


    (hey, still 5 minutes left in my time zone!)
    Last edited by CdaleTony; 04-02-2008 at 03:01 AM.
    '15 Cannondale Trigger 27.5 Carbon 2
    '05 Prophet 1000
    '09 F3
    '93 Delta V 700
    '08 F6 Lefty (son's)

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by CdaleTony
    Does someone need a calendar???????

    Sounds like somebody hasn't ridden a Prophet.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by jdr01930
    You pussies bragging about your super light girlie bike Prophet’s make me sick.
    Real men aren’t weight wienies. Real men want a HEAVY duty bike that can take the punishment. I filled my prophet’s frame with LEAD so it weighs 476 pounds.
    Now THAT’s a MAN’S BIKE. I ride up hill in MUD everyday. I train on Jupiter where the gravity is 10 times that of what you wussies here on Earth have.
    Deal with it.


    (hey, still 5 minutes left in my time zone!)
    id be afraid to decend on that thing. probably need 4 disc brakes. Plus i think if you have a lefty you need to change the oil in it to mercury. That will make it a couple pound heavier. besides I filled my prophet with depleted uranium....
    Last edited by Duncan1104; 04-01-2008 at 09:52 PM.

  21. #21
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    all this prophet fanaticism is getting out of hand. is it a great bike? yes. But why the ridiculousness? Are all you prophet owners feeling threatened by the release of new AM bikes? Is that why there is is (amazingly) no real hype for the moto or rize? Is cannondale going to have to compete with itself here? Can't we just quit thumping our chests, grabbing our crotch, and move on and not feel so threatened by other stuff? I think we can....I hope so. This forum is starting to become a prophet orgy lately.

    excuse the rant...
    and btw, I might still be getting a '08 Prophet 1, so don't kill me.

  22. #22
    The Martian
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    What! The prophet! Beat a Specialized!?!? Yea right, Cannondale can never out do them!




    (I still have an hour, and yes, some people need a calendar dearly...)

  23. #23
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    You clicked on this so I guess there must still be some interest, and I 100% once people are able to ride/buy the Moto and Rize the hype will increase.

    But to hold you over...

    Oh my goodness!!! MOTO is the best bike ever!
    I am 30% faster on my RISE!!!
    I cant belive the Moto and Rise are priced so freakin low! thank you C-dale
    I am having tons of dirt, rocks and boulders flown in from Moab because my trails are boring now that I have the Moto!
    Specialized owner has been spotted riding a Rise!
    Brakes for sale: I just dont use em since I bought he Moto

    The wave of posts is coming I have no doubt

    I for one am not feeling threatened from the new bikes, unfortunately I am positive I will be able to break just as many bones on my Prophet as the new bikes



    Quote Originally Posted by crazylax42
    all this prophet fanaticism is getting out of hand. is it a great bike? yes. But why the ridiculousness? Are all you prophet owners feeling threatened by the release of new AM bikes? Is that why there is is (amazingly) no real hype for the moto or rize? Is cannondale going to have to compete with itself here? Can't we just quit thumping our chests, grabbing our crotch, and move on and not feel so threatened by other stuff? I think we can....I hope so. This forum is starting to become a prophet orgy lately.

    excuse the rant...
    and btw, I might still be getting a '08 Prophet 1, so don't kill me.

  24. #24
    discombobulated SuperModerator
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    And so ends April fools day.....!

  25. #25
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    Sadly this is over...
    But this is still one of the outright best threads on mtbr EVER

  26. #26
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    PaintPeelinPBody : Best post ever - Thanks for the laugh!
    Swedish trail/AM/Enduro/DH-rider - Currently rides Spitfire V2 & Devinci Wilson SL. Spending the summer 2013 in Whistler, BC.

  27. #27
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    I was just informed that, you guessed it, Chuck Norris rides a Prophet. There are also night lights in his house, but not because he's afraid of the dark but because darkness is afraid of him.

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