Cyclist missing in Briones...- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
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    Cyclist missing in Briones...

    A cyclist was reported missing in Briones by his wife after he did not return from the Briones Mafia Tuesday Night ride by 11:00pm.

    Contra Costa Sheriff's Search and Rescue working with the East Bay Regional Park Police located the man the next morning, who looked amazingly rested, well fed and satiated.

    According to reports, the man, who shall remain nameless, was not sleeping well at home due to a new child, became disoriented after a safety break and meandered off of the fire road that he was riding on. After a short nap in the tall grass, he awoke in total darkness to the sound of large animals moving nearby.

    With no cell phone reception, he had no way to contact his wife and had apparently lost his bike in the tall grass and darkness. Upon locating his bike, the man then set about how to survive the night as it was dark except for some moonlight.

    "That som'***** slaughtered one a my cows!" one of the local ranchers exclaimed after the reports were filed. Apparently the man had managed to survive the night with only a lighter and a steak knife!
    There are no stupid questions but there are A LOT of inquisitive idiots.


    Bicycle Trails Council of the East Bay

  2. #2
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    Whew

    Quote Originally Posted by Dan'ger
    Apparently the man had managed to survive the night with only a lighter and a steak knife!
    You forgot about how he had to burn his shorts to keep warm.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by 0gre
    You forgot about how he had to burn his shorts to keep warm.
    Actually, I was going to detail the fine leather jacket...
    There are no stupid questions but there are A LOT of inquisitive idiots.


    Bicycle Trails Council of the East Bay

  4. #4
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    Glad he's o.k.

    I knew those cows would come in handy some day.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan'ger
    A cyclist was reported missing in Briones by his wife after he did not return from the Briones Mafia Tuesday Night ride by 11:00pm.

    Contra Costa Sheriff's Search and Rescue working with the East Bay Regional Park Police located the man the next morning, who looked amazingly rested, well fed and satiated.

    According to reports, the man, who shall remain nameless, was not sleeping well at home due to a new child, became disoriented after a safety break and meandered off of the fire road that he was riding on. After a short nap in the tall grass, he awoke in total darkness to the sound of large animals moving nearby.

    With no cell phone reception, he had no way to contact his wife and had apparently lost his bike in the tall grass and darkness. Upon locating his bike, the man then set about how to survive the night as it was dark except for some moonlight.

    "That som'***** slaughtered one a my cows!" one of the local ranchers exclaimed after the reports were filed. Apparently the man had managed to survive the night with only a lighter and a steak knife!
    A true Mans man. I heard he split the carcass with his steak knife and used it as a sleeping bag!

    Ted Nugent would be proud!

  6. #6
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    Surviving in the East Bay Regional Park is no problem. I always carry a lighter, steak knife, and a nice bottle of Cabernet with me any time I ride out there just in case I get stuck. Steaks are running around everywhere. If you really wanted to be on the safe side, some dry rub or marinade would do you well, along with some lipitor in case you had to live off steak for months.

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