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  1. #1
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    My wife does not get in a hurry. (edit much better on last ride)

    I feel like singing that Brad Paisley song, "Waitin' on a woman"

    So yesterday evening we went out to ride the 5.5 mile mountain bike trail near our house. It was almost 6 when we got there. I took off at a pretty good pace. Then about a half mile in I would stopped to wait on her. She came up behind me and I took off again. About another half mile and stop, wait. Rinse repeat. I was hoping to get the 5.5 miles in and then ride the trail in reverse. But since I was waiting on her it took us an hour to do the 5.5 miles. That meant we wouldn't have time to reverse it and make it out of the woods before the sun went down. So we rode the foreestry rode most of the way back.

    I need to figure out a way to make her more comfortable going faster. Even on the forestry road she was braking going down a gentle hill.

    Going up hills is not what slows her down, it's going down them. And I'm not taking about downhill, tricky trails. These are mild grades.

    A few times I let her get in front, but I ended up riding her rear because she would slow down.

    I am hoping she gets faster as we ride this trail more often.

    .
    Last edited by LarryWallwart; 10-06-2016 at 01:07 PM.

  2. #2
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    Its the nature of the beast Larry..

    Throw a spider on her if you want to see her move fast.............
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  3. #3
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    The harse reality of it is, she could probably smoke me in a race if she had the balls to go all out. She can climb much faster than me. She has been running for years. Her legs don't stop. I'm a noob at this. I take a hyrdation pack with me and drink half of it. she doesn't even take a water bottle.

  4. #4
    local bike dr.
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    It is more than likely going to be her waiting on you by this time next year. I believe she is just exercising caution, and will go faster as she becomes comfortable with the bike and terrain. I looked up which bike she has from one of your earlier posts... her stock tires could possibly have something to do with her lack of confidence. Her Bontrager LT3 tires didn't review very well, with some users complaining of poor climbing traction and a tendancy to wash out. She might benefit from a better tread pattern and a 2.1" or 2.3" wide tire. ...and possibly lowering the pressure in her tires a few pounds, say 30psi or less?
    Last edited by G0at; 09-14-2012 at 09:01 AM. Reason: bike & comp. spec. lookup

  5. #5
    Serenity now!
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    As a person of the female persuasion, I encourage your wife to find some other grrls to ride with. And when you ride with her, encourage and support her.

    I am definitely more cautious than my male group-ride mates. I can smoke my husband on the cardio (and that's not saying much for either one of us) but technically he has me beat hands down even though I spend a lot more time riding singletrack. I really think it might be a girl thing (though not universal, of course).

  6. #6
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    if my daughter and son-in-law start riding with us maybe I won't feel so bad if us guys take off and leave the girls.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    I feel like singing that Brad Paisley song, "Waitin' on a woman"

    So yesterday evening we went out to ride the 5.5 mile mountain bike trail near our house. It was almost 6 when we got there. I took off at a pretty good pace. Then about a half mile in I would stopped to wait on her. She came up behind me and I took off again. About another half mile and stop, wait. Rinse repeat. I was hoping to get the 5.5 miles in and then ride the trail in reverse. But since I was waiting on her it took us an hour to do the 5.5 miles. That meant we wouldn't have time to reverse it and make it out of the woods before the sun went down. So we rode the foreestry rode most of the way back.

    I need to figure out a way to make her more comfortable going faster. Even on the forestry road she was braking going down a gentle hill.

    Going up hills is not what slows her down, it's going down them. And I'm not taking about downhill, tricky trails. These are mild grades.

    A few times I let her get in front, but I ended up riding her rear because she would slow down.

    I am hoping she gets faster as we ride this trail more often.
    Ride out and then back ride passed her then return......you ride 10 k she rides 5.5 k

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffscott View Post
    Ride out and then back ride passed her then return......you ride 10 k she rides 5.5 k
    well first of all it was 5.5 miles, not 5.5k, secondly I really don't want to leave her in the middle of Mark Twain National Forest alone. :-)

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    well first of all it was 5.5 miles, not 5.5k, secondly I really don't want to leave her in the middle of Mark Twain National Forest alone. :-)
    'went 1/2 mile ahead of her".....then waited....so turn around and ride back to her at 1/4 mile....passed her for 1/4 mile then return...

    That way you will ride 10 miles and she will ride 5.5 miles.

    Plus you will see her a lot more.....hope that is a good thing.

  10. #10
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    You don't have to finish the climb before you turn back to her. Just ride out for 5 mins and come back. Repeat as many times as it takes to wear you out then the last time back ask her to race up the hill with you. If you are spent she'd beat you for sure. It's a win win.


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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffscott View Post
    Ride out and then back ride passed her then return......you ride 10 k she rides 5.5 k
    This, dont rush her. Dont want her to quit.
    Wish my wife would just ride
    Last edited by S_Trek; 09-14-2012 at 12:11 PM.
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  12. #12
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    Get some walkie talkies and just catch her on the way back to the car

    sent from one of my 4 gold leafed iphone4s's

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post

    A few times I let her get in front, but I ended up riding her rear because she would slow down.
    That's the way to boost her confidence Larry! Buzz her rear tire a coupla times maybe.

    Seriously, I have ridden with my wife for four years. This time last year she was decending some chunky gnar when she hit a flat-edge and went OTB. Broke two ribs.

    As a result, the confidence is down and the riding is much more conservative (this means slow).

    Build her confidence, and the speed will come. But it takes time and be prepared for setbacks.
    --If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

  14. #14
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    Do you ride with your wife every time? If not dedicate that ride for her pace. On the descend stop and take the time to show her that a little more speed would actually easier to control. It's the milestone that she need to cross herself all you can do is encourage it.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mimi1885 View Post
    Do you ride with your wife every time? If not dedicate that ride for her pace. On the descend stop and take the time to show her that a little more speed would actually easier to control. It's the milestone that she need to cross herself all you can do is encourage it.
    Yes, we ride together. We are new to it and don't know anyone else locally who rides. It's the one thing we do together.

  16. #16
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    I'm totally cool with riding with women, but I generally try to avoid exercising around women I'm romatically involved with. It always seems to bring up issues because one of three issues always happens:

    -You go way faster than her, and leave her in the dust. She gets pissed after a while and quits
    -You go slightly faster than her, she smokes herself trying to keep up. She gets pissed after a while and quits
    -You go her speed, don't get a workout at all, and you're bored out of your mind. You get pissed, stop riding with her. She gets pissed after a while and quits.

    I've never dated a chick faster than me though. Perhaps the opposite would happen then, I'm not sure.

    With that said, its been ok running with my current girlfriend, but I generally do my "off days" with her and expect to not really get a workout. We generally do an easy 3 miles at a 10 minute pace and chat, its a good way to get outside and to see her in running tights and/or a sports bra. If she wants a workout, she runs with her ladyfriends, and if I want a workout, I run/ride with my buddies

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    Yes, we ride together. We are new to it and don't know anyone else locally who rides. It's the one thing we do together.
    It's best to look for a local group ride, newbie ride is the best way to find riding partners and raise your perceived speed. When you have time check your local bike clubs for upcoming schedule.

    I used to ride everyday with my brother although we had about the same strength and endurance we hardly ride up together. He usually put on a harder pace in the beginning then recover, I like to lift the pace half way thru. It was a fun game for us, find one that work with yours.

  18. #18
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    Leg and arm protection?

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffscott View Post
    Ride out and then back ride passed her then return......you ride 10 k she rides 5.5 k
    THIS ^^^^^

    My wife and I ride a lot together but we also ride by ourselves and with others from our peer group as well. I haul ass down hill and then turn around and ride back up to her....she drops me from time to time (ok....regularly..) on long climbs and turns around and does a "dog lap" to allow me to catch up. I don't encourage her to haul ass down hills, she'll go as fast as she feels comfortable. Gravity and speed compound mistakes, the last thing you need is for your wife to take a big header because you nagged her to "go faster".

    Riding with your s-o needs to be about more than speed because if it's not IMO you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Be glad she wants to be with you while you both enjoy ride time together. There are ton of guys and gals out there who wish they were as fortunate as you to have an s-o who would ride with them.
    Last edited by STT GUY; 09-14-2012 at 12:24 PM.
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  20. #20
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    Instead of trying to get around the loop quickly, maybe you should focus on technique.

    I don't believe trail riding is an intuitive exercise. There is a lot of trial and error, learning the limits of you and your bike and practicing new skills, e.g. looking ahead, gear selection, good braking, cornering, etc. For those with similar hobbies--motorbikes, auto racing, karting, skiing--there are skills which carry over and get you up to speed quicker.

    But unless your wife spent years on the Dew Tour tearing it up on the half pipe, I think you might need to take a step back and see where a few pointers might help her gain the confidence to push the pace.

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  21. #21
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    Before you started the ride, did you two talk about what the expectations were? Was just guessing or wondering, maybe for her it wasn't to just finish as much mileage as possible. Maybe she just wanted to get out and ride until it got dark.

    I ride with a lot of people with a lot of different abilities. Just because I am faster going up and/or down than these people doesn't mean I'm out for a ripping ride all the time. Sometimes it's just nice to get out and see the trails at a different pace with different people at a slower pace.

    I have my days of ripping trails and I have my days of just getting out and seeing what's around me. Ya never know........Hope you get this sorted out, I know how frustrating it can be when you just want to ride and you end up waiting a bunch.

  22. #22
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    Larry,

    This is part of the game. My wife rides, and it pisses her off when i "ladder" is what i call going up and coming back multiple times. My advice is this: when you ride with her, ride with her, be patient and encouraging. If you want to kick ass: ride alone, or do another ride after.

    My faster buddies that i ride with wait for me, and they know what they are getting into, same with the friends of mine who are slower than me. Very often the people i ride with are at differeing skill/fitness levels. If i feel like railing it then i either go alone or ask those who are as fast or faster than me, otherwise I enjoy the ride for the rides sake.
    "Any wheel size is better than sitting at a computer all day." -Myself

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by mimi1885 View Post
    Do you ride with your wife every time? If not dedicate that ride for her pace. On the descend stop and take the time to show her that a little more speed would actually easier to control. It's the milestone that she need to cross herself all you can do is encourage it.
    Absolutely agree with this. The issue, as you've stated, is her confidence. Ditching her on the trail and letting her figure it out herself isn't going to accomplish much other than letting her focus on how much better you are doing. It takes a lot of patience but the more time you put in helping her learn the more you'll get to ride together.

    Find a section of trail that's sort of difficult for her and repeat it a couple times. Let her get confident.

    Let her put her saddle lower when you come to a tricky downhill. Yes it means a lot of stopping and starting to fiddle with saddle height, but my wife picked up her confidence by leaps and bounds when I got her a dropper seatpost.

    If you absolutely must ride "hard" then you probably need to find time to get out for a ride by yourself. I never care much for riding with one of my fast friends who just takes off only to be seen at the top of the hill later. If I wanted to ride alone, I wouldn't invite other people along.

    I also think that there could be some really good things you could do by choosing better tires, making sure they're properly inflated, and by making sure the bike is fit and set up properly for her. How are the brake levers? Are they positioned so her wrists don't need to bend while using the brakes? Are they positioned so that she can easily put one or two fingers right at the bend at the end of the lever without moving her hands? Is the stem long enough and not too short?

    It takes time; enjoy the process and help her learn to love biking, not just learn to do biking.
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  24. #24
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    There was a really interesting article in the last Bike Magazine about women riders, and men riders, and how men try to be helpful, but often go about it the wrong way. Not necessarily all true, but something to think about.

    Are you out there riding with her or not, or do you look at it like she's slowing you down?

  25. #25
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    At least she is going with you! My wife's idea of a bike ride is a SLOW ride through the neighborhood concrete trail. She is doesnt think she would like riding "off-road".

  26. #26
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    OP- You are a complete ******* but that's why you have a wife. Yes, I am a butthurt lurker
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  27. #27
    gran jefe
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    let all the air out of your tires and drag a cinderblock or something. just ride with her.

  28. #28
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    Man Larry, our wives must be twins separated at birth Mine was riding so slow she was actually having trouble controlling the bike. And that little girl can climb. She took a hill in her middle ring at her slow speed that I don't think I could do.

    Some things we have tried with various degrees of success:

    1. Ride slowly in front of her at a pace that is well below what the laws of physics allow, and she tries to keep up. For example, I try to stay around 6MPH on a trail where I normally average 10. (I told you she was slow). She has discovered that the bike actually handles better and is easier to ride when you go at a faster speed.

    2. Ride on a paved trail. We have one here that is wide and twisty with lots of ups and downs. Not having trees right next to you takes away a lot of the fear. Agan, riding at a very safe speed, I ride next to her, and tell her that braking is not necessary here. I checked her computer after a ride and she maxed out at 17 mph. She was surprised that she had gone that fast. 10 used to be a big deal. And as I predicted, 17 mph did not tear a hole in the fabric of the universe

  29. #29
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    Get the latest issue of Bike Magazine, has an article about women mtnbkrs riding and learning from other women. My wife (who has been riding with me for 16 years) and I got a real laugh out of it (many bad/good memories).

    This year, my wife joined an all women mountain bike club and did a riding clinic through them at the beginning of Summer. She also does a group ride once a week. I have been blown away by her riding now, she as well. I go through a nasty section of trail and pause thinking she's going slow, or worse walking it, and she is right over my shoulder.

    I use to be in your shoes, now my wife can hang pretty damn good....for a girl, lol.

    Maybe your wife would benefit from something along these lines.

  30. #30
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    Ride her pace and encourage her or she's not going to keep riding with you. My wife, son and I ride once a week. I just enjoy the time with them, teach them skills. I practice wheelies a lot and fool around My other rides are by myself or with riders more my skill level.
    It's the perfect time of year, Somewhere far away from here.

  31. #31
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    Id just be happy that mine would ride with me at all...

  32. #32
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    If you keep doing what you're doing, the issue will likely sort itself out sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you want her to continue riding with you. . . . consider some of the suggestions from above.

    Something I haver noticed about my own riding, is that riding partners seem to come and go. Some stick with it longer than others, people move, get different priorities, change work schedules, have kids, etc. Everyone is a newbie at some point, and things that happen within groups can have an affect on whether or not people (newbies in particular) stick with it.

    You can do your own thing, and if other riders can hang, that's fine, and if they can't, that's OK too. But, it really helps newbies get through that unsure period if they get encouragement and patience from fellow riders. I enjoy meeting all different kinds of people and riding is a great way to meet people, so I often will serve as a sweeper as a way to get to know people and make sure they don't feel bad for holding a group up (or even one other rider. . . .). If the newbies get chased off, you eventually find yourself riding with fewer and fewer people, and eventually riding alone more ofthen than you would like. And if your wife is trying to ride with you, that is one rider you would do well to go out of your way to keep involved, even for that period of time when it's more than a little inconvenient.

    Now, here is the bonus to doing that which has become apparent to me lately. I have recently been riding with a couple of newer riders more often than I used to, so instead of riding at closer to max effort nearly everytime I ride, about half my rides lately have been what I call 'no sweat' rides. That is an exagerration, but these rides are considerably easier than my average ride. I ride several times a week (usually 4 or 5 times per week), and even though I was previously riding hard most everytime out, I had kind of hit a plateau with regards to fitness and weight loss. But, strangely, the past couple of months, I have started to lose weight again, and my fitness is increasing lately too. Though I can't say with certainty that varying my efforts is THE reason for this, I can say it certainly hasn't prevented it.

    My reasoning is that there are only two things that are important when I am riding: 1) Be relatively safe 2) Have fun. As long as I am doing those things, then all the other details will find a way to work themselves out. If I go to the trailhead expecting to do a hard ride (maybe even by myself), many times I do exactly that, and sometimes it turns out that I do a 'no sweat' ride with a newbie.

    Maybe I am more sympathetic to this issue because I have (and still do with many groups) spent so much time as 'that guy' at the back of the pack, and always appreciated riders (many of whom were, and still are WAY faster, highly regarded racer types) that made me feel that it was not a problem that I was slow. No one is 'too good' to ride with some one else.

    Newbies are the life blood of the sport. When the newbie is your wife, it's more than that.

  33. #33
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    I had the same issue when I first started to ride. I rode with a male friend who was very patient with me and was able to learn a lot from him (he had been riding for years and years). It's one of those things that takes time to build up the confidence in yourself and your bike.

    I definitely agree when you ride with her you ride at her pace, and then you have your own ride at your pace without her. As she gains confidence and improves she will start riding faster, and then you can have some fun with it. I would start riding and then 7 minutes later my male friend who was better/faster would start and try to catch me by the end of the trail. It was a ton of fun.

  34. #34
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    "My wife does not get in a hurry"

    My wife does not get on a bike.

  35. #35
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    +1 Jeffj - from a total noob at an older age.
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  36. #36
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    Ride your bike like a single speed and don't sit down.
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by wmac View Post
    Ride your bike like a single speed and don't sit down.
    I do that quite a few times when out riding with my wife, it gives her such a boost that she can just grind it up and I had to walk

    Rep+ for you

  38. #38
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    Just ride slower and learn to like it.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by beanbag View Post
    Just ride slower and learn to like it.
    You got me there. That's been my excuse for some time now


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  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    secondly I really don't want to leave her in the middle of Mark Twain National Forest alone. :-)
    Maybe that might make her ride faster, plus the spider throwing idea.

  41. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by beanbag View Post
    Just ride slower and learn to like it.
    This sounds like one of those things said in a begrudgingly depressed tone about relationship matters.

  42. #42
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    Well what I say in this case is ride at her pace. I would get very annoyed if I was riding with someone who was much faster than me and they kept leaving me behind, only to wait for me half a mile down the trail. It's a far more enjoyable experience to ride with someone and go the same pace. It would be even worse if they would ride out and back and out again as I just plod along.

    So ride at her pace and then set yourself some days where you want to ride alone and burn the trails up then

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by S_Trek View Post
    This, dont rush her. Dont want her to quit.
    Wish my wife would just ride
    Just ride with her and she will get faster. Ride solo if you want to go faster, or find others to ride with. She will get faster with confidence. You push her and you'll push her out of it. even if 'it' is riding with you.

    The best thing I did to get my wife to ride better was find other women for her to ride with. Now if it's flat I can't barely keep up with her for the 1st 10 miles.

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by jalopy jockey View Post
    The best thing I did to get my wife to ride better was find other women for her to ride with. Now if it's flat I can't barely keep up with her for the 1st 10 miles.
    I wish I could find some women for my wife to ride with. Anything I tell her or show her ends up as me "criticizing" her! With our work schedules, our kids schedules, and everthing else, It's hard just to get time for us to ride together!!

  45. #45
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    Problem solved http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLeBH...e_gdata_player

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  46. #46
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    I ride with my 8 year old and wife
    I let them ride out front
    I don't tell them everything they are doing wrong
    I let them pick the length of the ride
    I'm just grateful when I actually get to ride with my son or wife

    Sj
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  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlowerJoe View Post
    I ride with my 8 year old and wife
    I let them ride out front
    I don't tell them everything they are doing wrong
    I let them pick the length of the ride
    I'm just grateful when I actually get to ride with my son or wife

    Sj
    I make my wife "nervous" when I ride behind her!
    I tell my wife things like, "hey try shifting gears, it makes it easier"!!!

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpyderPride View Post
    OP- You are a complete gentleman but that's why you have a wife. Yes, I am a butthurt lurker
    thanks

  49. #49
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    1. I am not leaving her behind.
    2. When I do stop to wait, I am only waiting for 30 seconds or so.
    3. I don't get in a hurry climbing hills, this lets her gain on me.
    4. She keeps telling me not to wait on her.
    5. I know she will get faster.
    6. It's amazing how the anonymity of the internet brings out the ********
    7. It's amazing how many diverse opinions there are in this world.
    8. It's amazing how people can read things into a post that aren't there.
    9. Carry on.

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    well first of all it was 5.5 miles, not 5.5k, secondly I really don't want to leave her in the middle of Mark Twain National Forest alone. :-)
    Just out of curiosity, is this forest particularly dangerous for some reason? I am a woman living in Colorado and I ride alone all the time. Generally there are other people on the trail but I have been completely alone a few times.

    That aside, I would also suggest that if possible she find some women to ride with. Riding with men works too unless they are employing the negative motivation that works on them but not generally on women (i.e., "c'mon, my grandmother could ride faster than that!"). Women often struggle with learning from their SO, especially if the technical gap is large.

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by dhalsey View Post
    What a hoot! It took me a while to realize this thing is for real. I need one for the group rides I go on. The only way I could keep up.

    For this to work for riding with Wife, I would need to disconnect her brakes .

  52. #52
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    That was as funny as the "avoid camel-toe" infomercial if you have ever seen it. Should be on youtube.
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  53. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by zebrahum View Post
    If you absolutely must ride "hard" then you probably need to find time to get out for a ride by yourself. I never care much for riding with one of my fast friends who just takes off only to be seen at the top of the hill later. If I wanted to ride alone, I wouldn't invite other people along.
    I agree whole heartedly with this. I have a friend who I don't even ask to go riding with any more because they insist on going a fast pace that I can't keep up with. If I was wanting that type of ride I would have grabbed my mp3 player and earbud for company.

    Riding with friends and family means riding with them, not leaving them in the dust and then complain because they go slower than you.


    As for advice: is it just the downhill that she's slower than you? If that's the case I suggest finding out why she feels less confident and try and figure out how to help her be more confident.

  54. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Astra2 View Post
    Just out of curiosity, is this forest particularly dangerous for some reason? I am a woman living in Colorado and I ride alone all the time. Generally there are other people on the trail but I have been completely alone a few times.
    Unfortunately, many people are just afraid of the woods. Here in upstate NY we have State forests everywhere, but some of the people around here that I know will not set foot in them. Weird, huh? Its a shame, because they are great recreational assets.

    I blame TV/movies. Wild animals are always depicted as bloodthirsty killers, waiting behind every tree and rock to murder you. Complete nonsense, but its hard to fight that perception for some. I have a friend that used to hike a lot, but now won't go solo at all. He's afraid of coyotes and bears.

    Im getting off topic I guess, end rant.
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  55. #55
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    I guess we all learn differently. When learning a new sport, I don't want someone watching me, critiquing me, giving tips, waiting for me, or any of that. In short, I want to be left the hell alone so I can do it my way, at my pace. The rest is just distraction.

    A good book for this is Mastering Mountain Bike Skills by Brian Lopes and Lee McCormack. I think learning by book, then trying it out for real the next day helps speed up the learning process.
    Don't let it get you down, but there's a good chance you were an accident.
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  56. #56
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    I second Mastering Mountain Bike Skills, and also like "Mountain Bike Like a Champion" by Ned Overend. It is more geared towards XC. YouTube videos are helpful too.

    I pretty much learned on my own and generally ride alone too. However, I think it is hard to get good on your own. I did my first XC race this summer and saw how badly I sucked at it. I was told that to get better I needed to ride with other people -- watch and learn. Which is fine if you can keep up. I was dead last at most of the rides, and didn't want to hold people up, so I would ride one or two legs then thank them for their patience but I was heading out on my own, no need to wait up.

    I kept at it I am slowly getting better. In a larger group I run in the middle now. When just the hard-core show up, I am last, but they usually don't have to wait too long.

    One guy who leads a group has been particularly helpful in CRITICIZING me. A video or book can't tell you what you are doing wrong. Most people are not comfortable offering criticism, especially to someone older. So I ask some of the better guys and gals for tips and criticisms. Once you ask they are usually happy to oblige.
    Last edited by DennisF; 09-19-2012 at 06:05 AM.

  57. #57
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    I have to say my solo ride this weekend was more relaxed, but at the same time I pushed myself harder as I could do my own thing with out holding anyone back. What I'm doing is doing the same trail that I already know to try to master that trail see how much I can learn under a comfortable setting. I've done other trails w/my friends but a couple were a bit advanced in some parts for my knowledge and yes I ate it big time ... Practice practice practice ! stay in your comfort zone and progress at your (her) own pace. My gf is a total athlete (runs marathons) and we went to an easy trail but she's afraid as well of down hills and a bit of chicken to climb (shh) but at least she supports me on my new sport and thinks I'm brave - lol
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  58. #58
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    [QUOTE=Astra2;9700730]Just out of curiosity, is this forest particularly dangerous for some reason? I am a woman living in Colorado and I ride alone all the time. Generally there are other people on the trail but I have been completely alone a few times.

    [QUOTE]

    Well Poplar Bluff is a small city. Population 17,000. Not near a Metro area. I have yet to see any other bikers on the trail while we were there. I know people ride it, I see the fresh tracks. They must come at other times than us. But it's definately not a busy trail. Also we live in the Meth capitol of the world. So who knows what shady hoodlums are hiding a Meth lab out in the middle of the woods. The area used to be known as a party spot when I was in school. There are a few sections that have some loose rocks and couple spots where you have to dodge boulders and trees. She could easily wipe out. Not really concerned about bears or mountain lions as much.

  59. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by csledd281 View Post
    I had the same issue when I first started to ride. I rode with a male friend who was very patient with me and was able to learn a lot from him (he had been riding for years and years). It's one of those things that takes time to build up the confidence in yourself and your bike.

    I definitely agree when you ride with her you ride at her pace, and then you have your own ride at your pace without her. As she gains confidence and improves she will start riding faster, and then you can have some fun with it. I would start riding and then 7 minutes later my male friend who was better/faster would start and try to catch me by the end of the trail. It was a ton of fun.
    I do this with my wife. We have a 5-mile trip around our "block", which features some pretty challenging hills. I do the run at a pretty fast pace, by myself, so I give her a head start, and try to catch her before she makes it home. It's not easy, especially before I get close enough to see her, and she says she works harder just knowing I'm back there, gaining on her. I probably work harder on those rides than when I'm alone.

    She won't ride off-road, so I do that when she's not coming along.

  60. #60
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    I thought about giving her a head start next time. she's usually ready to go before I am anyway.

  61. #61
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    Sounds like your wife is doing great though. Confidence takes time, especially for women. Men gain confidence by doing, women need confidence to start. We are also much harder on ourselves when we fail.

    Going down hills is scary if you are unsure of yourself. "Faster is better" seems to defy logic and reasoning until you see it in action. If she doesn't know when the hills are coming, call out when you get to them.

    If you can do a group ride, do it. Make sure it's a no-drop ride. I was nervous when I went but everyone was great and I learned a lot.

    Go to have fun and at her pace. I wish my husband would go. He's actually better than me but gave up because he was stuck behind me the first time so I wouldn't crash. I'd keep stopping because I was out of breath or scared and he'd crash into the back of me. Now that I've improved, he's worried he'd be in the way. Sometimes you can't win with how your spouse feels, but make it fun.

    Make sure her bike is set up and is secure. After my crash, I never trusted my Mamba despite several rides and sold it last month. I miss having a lighter bike, but it wasn't fun worrying about if my brakes were going to go out. With my fat bike, the brakes work perfectly and knowing I can trust my bike makes riding much more fun.

  62. #62
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    OK, so I need to change this thread title because this morning she kicked my a$$. I let her get ahead of me maybe a tenth of a mile. It was an uphill section. I darted a little ways down a logging road and ran into a puddle the size of a pond so I turned around. I went to catch her and before I did I got to a fork. I went right because that is the main trail (left went back to the gravel road) I went for a while and never caught her. I kept thinking I should have caught her by now. I turned around and went down the side trail to the road thinking maybe she went that way. No bueno. So I hightailed it back down the main trail. After 2 more miles I still had not caught her. I almost turned around a couple times thinking I had somehow passed her and she had gone back to the truck. Just as I was about to give up I see her pedaling toward me. Turns out she was ahead of me the whole time. She beat me to the turn around point and waited for 5 minutes. On the way back I followed her. There were only a couple of downhill sections where I was on her butt because she was braking. The rest of the way she took off and left me. Uphill she doesn't slow down. I know I burned up a bunch of energy backtracking and trying to catch her on the front half, but still she was going plenty fast for me on the way back. On the last mile and a half I couldn't have caught her if I wanted to. She beat me to the truck by about 20 seconds.



    *my GPS says I rode about 3/4 a mile out of my way looking for her.

  63. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    OK, so I need to change this thread title because this morning she kicked my a$$. I let her get ahead of me maybe a tenth of a mile. It was an uphill section. I darted a little ways down a logging road and ran into a puddle the size of a pond so I turned around. I went to catch her and before I did I got to a fork. I went right because that is the main trail (left went back to the gravel road) I went for a while and never caught her. I kept thinking I should have caught her by now. I turned around and went down the side trail to the road thinking maybe she went that way. No bueno. So I hightailed it back down the main trail. After 2 more miles I still had not caught her. I almost turned around a couple times thinking I had somehow passed her and she had gone back to the truck. Just as I was about to give up I see her pedaling toward me. Turns out she was ahead of me the whole time. She beat me to the turn around point and waited for 5 minutes. On the way back I followed her. There were only a couple of downhill sections where I was on her butt because she was braking. The rest of the way she took off and left me. Uphill she doesn't slow down. I know I burned up a bunch of energy backtracking and trying to catch her on the front half, but still she was going plenty fast for me on the way back. On the last mile and a half I couldn't have caught her if I wanted to. She beat me to the truck by about 20 seconds.



    *my GPS says I rode about 3/4 a mile out of my way looking for her.
    As she gets more confident, she'll start whipping you on the downhills too. Everyone learns in their own way, but no matter who they are learning takes time.
    Don't you hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus?

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by LarryWallwart View Post
    On the last mile and a half I couldn't have caught her if I wanted to. She beat me to the truck by about 20 seconds.
    She's been reading this thread!

    Good for both of you!

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    Another thing to look at too is how she is doing with her girly parts and the seat.. My gf would ride slow cause her seat was killing her.. By the end of the ride she was so sore she could bairly sit down.. We played around with a few different seats and we ended up with a peak by adamo(there mtn bike seat) and now she loves to ride faster-- longer and more often cause she doesnt hurt at all.. They are a bit funky looking-- and you sit farther forward on them then you would think--- but they are soo comfy i ended up getting one for my mtn bike too.. Have you thought about enrolling her in one of those womens riding clinics? Those look pretty cool and she can learn with other girls and not feel intimidated by you or feel like she is holding you up.. Its women helping women.. I think it would be a cool way to learn some of the skills..

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