Holy Freakin Crap!!!!!- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
    I just got goth served!
    Reputation: silversurfer's Avatar
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    Bonking ... not feelin' well Holy Freakin Crap!!!!!

    Talk about hate mail, I just picked up a bark scorpion with my mail! The damn thing didn't even mental register as I flipped through the mail. I thought it was just a graphic on one of the envelopes, until my brain went, "BONG, BONG!, HOLY SH!T, I'M HOLDING A F@CKING SCORPION!"

    I threw the mail, and jumped about 23 feet straight up.

    D@mn!

    brian<----heart still pounding.
    insert witty comment here

  2. #2
    Saucy Size
    Reputation: Paul B's Avatar
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    You sissy

    Quote Originally Posted by silversurfer
    Talk about hate mail, I just picked up a bark scorpion with my mail! The damn thing didn't even mental register as I flipped through the mail. I thought it was just a graphic on one of the envelopes, until my brain went, "BONG, BONG!, HOLY SH!T, I'M HOLDING A F@CKING SCORPION!"

    I threw the mail, and jumped about 23 feet straight up.

    D@mn!

    brian<----heart still pounding.
    Hopefully you didn't squeal like a teenage girl (like I did, when one fell out of my medicine cabinet a couple years ago).

    God how I hate scorpions. I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

    p.
    Don't be that guy! Read the forum guidelines.

  3. #3
    Kathleen in AZ
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    Quote Originally Posted by silversurfer
    Talk about hate mail, I just picked up a bark scorpion with my mail! The damn thing didn't even mental register as I flipped through the mail. I thought it was just a graphic on one of the envelopes, until my brain went, "BONG, BONG!, HOLY SH!T, I'M HOLDING A F@CKING SCORPION!"

    I threw the mail, and jumped about 23 feet straight up.

    D@mn!

    brian<----heart still pounding.
    Yikes!! I have yet to find one at my house. Perhaps my cat takes care of them? Or maybe my house just isn't blessed with the critters. I have actually seen very few in my years in AZ. Glad you were not stung! ugh.

    When do those huge big flying beetle bugs come out to play? One year I reached in to remove the pool skimmer and came out with one of those in my hand - it was as long as my hand. HUGE! Once I got over the shock, the dead thing was really quite interesting. bugs are cool (when then don't surprise you).

  4. #4
    Fragile - must be Italian
    Reputation: dgangi's Avatar
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    That's funny

    Quote Originally Posted by silversurfer
    Talk about hate mail, I just picked up a bark scorpion with my mail! The damn thing didn't even mental register as I flipped through the mail. I thought it was just a graphic on one of the envelopes, until my brain went, "BONG, BONG!, HOLY SH!T, I'M HOLDING A F@CKING SCORPION!"

    I threw the mail, and jumped about 23 feet straight up.

    D@mn!

    brian<----heart still pounding.
    Sh!t that's funny. I love hearing others tell their scorpion stories. I find at least 1 scorpion per month inside my house and the pattern has been relatively consistent for the 8 years I have been living here, so they don't really scare me anymore. BUT, I still get a little edgy when I see the little *******s. Nobody in my house has been stung yet, but my neighbors tell stories of getting stung.

    Worse yet, my regular bug/pest treatments don't seem to help all that much. Before we hired a regular pest control company, I would find 4-5 scorpions per month. The wife quickly had enough of that and hired the pest control company. Now I find 1 live scorpion and 3-4 dead ones. Nice.

    My favorite scorpion story has to do with the sh!tter. One day I was standing up taking a *major* piss, and a damn scorpion came out of nowhere. It was crawling slowly toward my feet from the wall next to the toilet. I was barefoot so I couldn't step on the damn thing. And I had just drank a LOT of beer, so I really had to relieve myself. I couldn't stop no matter the situation.

    So, I continued to piss and just walked around the toilet. The damn scorpion kept following me at a leisurely pace. And when I got to the end of the path I was able to walk around the toilet (ran into the tank), I just stepped over the scorpion and walked back the other direction.

    I think I made 2 trips back and forth before I was able to finish my pee. At that point I zipped up, stepped over to the counter, and squashed the little bugger with a kleenex box.

    Next time I'll share with you my snake stories.

    And no, I don't live in the boonies. I live in Phoenix, right near the mountain preserve.

    Thx...Doug

  5. #5
    Ouch, I am hot!
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    I'm Infested

    My wife was stung in the garage. She was in bed all day with pain. I have seen several in the mailbox and several in the house, including in my kids' rooms. These suckers scare me. They are freaking nasty. I live near the T100 preserve.
    I AM JUST A JERK

  6. #6
    mtbr member
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    We have 'em, too

    I live in Tucson, in a new development near Casino del Sol. We see a live one about once a month during the summer, even though we have the place sprayed each month. I'm not so concerned about myself being stung (oh, I know it'll hurt, but...). I worry about the scream from the kids in the middle of the night. Now that scares me.

  7. #7
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    when hubby and i lived in north phoenix we had about one a month, also, and we had pest service. hubby got stung on his big toe(said it felt like he stepped on a nail)and after a couple days of pain his toe went numb for 6 months. now we live out in the boonies and not one has come in. hmm..we used to live about a mile from the phoenix preserve. is a picture starting to form?

    Rita

  8. #8
    Portable curmudgeon
    Reputation: AZBound's Avatar
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    arachnophilia

    Quote Originally Posted by dgangi
    Next time I'll share with you my snake stories.
    Taking a whiz? Sounds like you already told a snake story. That was a mighty middle school thing to say on my part, wasn't it?

    I've found two solpugids (sun spiders) in my Tucson house this week. They'd have been pretty scary if they weren't less than a centimeter long.


    Wait until the day you see a house centipede zipping towards your foot. Harmless enough, but it'll get you moving, pee or no pee.


    Bike down

  9. #9
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    Me too

    My Parents live right next to the Phoenix Mountain Preserve and we regularly find scorps in their house and yard. Its fun during the summer months to take the black light into the backyard at night and go hunting for scorpions. They glow a bright green and we are able to see them from quite a long way away. Our record was 11 in one nights hunting.

    I live near Tatum and Cactus and I have found four scorps in my house in the last 13 years. Three of them the cats just sat there staring at the bug as it walked right past them.

    When I was about ten I cought one of those giant hairy scorpions and kept in a pickle jar in the garage. He lived for three years in that jar until gramma found him and drown it in blackflag.

    Steve Frew

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