Young Girls in Lycra and Other Fine Sights- Mtbr.com
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  1. #1
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    Young Girls in Lycra and Other Fine Sights

    "Young Girls in Lycra and Other Fine Sights"

    Retro Fred’s daughters are all grown up. This is a good thing. This is a very good thing.

    A group ride was set for last Sunday. It was to be the first day out for TurboB!tch, Bobolita (Mrs. Retro Fred, formerly known as Bev), Heather, eldest daughter of Retro and Michelle, Heather’s friend. Six in all.

    A non-threatening park was chosen, a time agreed upon and names taken. We would meet at Kittatinny Park in Andover, NJ at 2:00. Lord the weather did cooperate. A blue sky with temperatures near 80 degrees waited.

    Turbo and I show up first, a bit early so with no one around we took a warm up ride. Following part of the course the previous day’s race was run on, we were feeling aggressive. Turbo made me promise to take it easy since she was having surgery the following Tuesday and needed me to drive her to the hospital. If I got hurt she would kill me. A dead Bubba was apparently more useful than an injured one. Certainly worth more money.

    Uncharacteristically late, Retro’s van pulled into the parking at 2:20. Although there were three bikes there were but two riders. Bobolita explained that Heather and Fred had geographic miscommunications. (She got lost/he gave poor directions – pick one or both). Heather was bringing Michelle and the two were in Michelle’s car.

    Heather and Michelle showed up minutes later. Michelle took her new bike out. I looked at Michelle. I looked at her new bike. I looked back at Michelle. Looking at Michelle was very pleasant. She dressed the part with Lycra and a sports bra (perhaps the nicest piece of clothing ever to grace the female form.) Heather was similarly attired.

    The ride started to come apart at this point. Michelle’s new “mountain” bike was a fully rigid Giant Sedona complete with kickstand and drop tube (girls frame). Her ensemble was topped by pretty, long, hair not to be messed up by something so boring as a helmet. Don’t get the idea that I’m making any rash judgments at this point. Turbo once did a full day of downhill on a bike very much like Michelle’s except it did not have “vee” brakes. After a day of lift served riding at Mountain Creek, her only complaint was that her hands hurt trying to get the brakes to actually brake. They really did little other than suggest a change in velocity.

    I promised Turbo that I would not only avoid injury but would, under no circumstances, lead the ride. No matter how hard I try, I am always guilty of taking people on trails that are too technical. We mounted our bikes with Heather and Michelle leading. Heather was a pretty good rider and had a new Specialized hardtail. I’d never ridden with her but knew she had tackled some decently hard areas and done some long road rides on the Stumpjumper (or Rockhopper). I rolled down the paved road we started on and resigned myself to a relaxing road ride. Having been on dirt the previous two days, I would live with it.

    The girls set a fast pace. I followed keeping their lycra in sight. Retro fell in behind with Turbo and Bobolita bringing up the rear.

    Before I go on, let me say a word or two about Bobolita. Bev got the nickname from an old Costa Rican gentleman while visiting Central America. Although Heather and Michelle both teach Spanish, neither was exactly sure of the proper translation. As close as we could figure, the man was politely calling Bev a “dumb blond.” You can’t give yourself a nickname but when the right one comes along, it’s yours for years to come and thus, we have “Bobolita.”

    Anyway, the ride continued. We reached the Aeroflex airfield that borders the park and crossed the end of the runway, still on pavement. Circling the Victorian house used by the park rangers we re-crossed the field, still on the road.

    I kept quiet. I followed Heather and Michelle’s lycra.

    Suddenly Heather darted into the woods. Michelle followed. I followed. Retro and Turbo and Bobolita followed. There was hope.

    Heather and Michelle made a left on a very narrow and steep climb. Heather made it; Michelle made it half way, bailed, and ran the rest of the way with her bike. We followed. The uphill lead to a downhill. Funny how that happens.

    The downhill was rocky and no place for a beginner. That did not deter Michelle who never missed a turn of her cranks when she started down. Shoot, those girls could ride. I had trouble keeping up but kept them in sight. The rewards of doing so out weighted the pain of the chase. This continued for two hours. I heard hoots of pure joy from Bobolita and Turbo as they rolled over one log crossing after another. We occasionally dabbed but not enough to slow the group down.

    When we arrived back at the cars Michelle said she had better get a helmet and we planned our next ride for Mahlon Dickerson Reservation, a much more technical area. Yes, a helmet would be a good idea there. Overhead, as if to cap a perfect day, 8 parachutes descended upon Sparta Airport. They seemed to hover for an indeterminable time over the tree line before disappearing.

    Everyone was excited after a ride I thought would be dull and turned out to be anything but. We piled into our cars and drove off for our reward at Cliff’s Ice Cream Stand. After that we headed to Retro and Bobolita’s house to meet Heather’s new cat. It was fun to see how the cat has bonded with Retro who is a dog person. Ha! Never underestimate the guile of a cat. Once worshipped as Gods, they have never forgotten.

    Monday was a workday but the new job gets me home by 3:45 so it was off to another fine afternoon of riding.

    Tuesday Turbo had her surgery. I sat with her after she got to her room but she insisted I leave and ride, as she was not very good company. I insisted on staying but let her win the argument and got in yet another ride; my fifth day in a row on the bike. Before I left, a resident who assisted in the surgery stopped by. Turbo had a “Foley” bag attached and has to use it for 10 days. The doctor said that if she decided to ride before that she could put the bag in her Hydro-Pack. In reality, she’ll be off the bike until mid June but expects to be back in the saddle by the Jim Thorpe Mountain Bike Weekend.

    Later I picked up “Fat [email protected]” from my LBS with his new bottom bracket and a new tire to replace one I shredded in a pre-race ride last year. I also ditched the bash guard as my experiment with a “free-ride” bike ended. With a lighter set of wheels and tires and a few other changes, “Fat [email protected]” may yet get below 30 lbs. I look forward to getting him out again next weekend. I am even giving some though to riding “Fat [email protected]” in my next race. In my class and age group, the weight of the bike is not much of a determining factor.

    My thanks to Queen. Fat bottomed girls indeed make the rockin' world go round.

    Peace

  2. #2

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    Pics man!! We need pics, and lots of em. Dammit man!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cooter.
    Pics man!! We need pics, and lots of em. Dammit man!
    Yeah, what kind of friggin tease was this? We demand pic!
    People don't think it be like it is, but it do - Oscar Gamble

  4. #4
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    WTF? No Pictures?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    My thanks to Queen. Fat bottomed girls indeed make the rockin' world go round.

    Peace
    To me, a nice write up with pictures is far more effective than the written passion.

    I'm not sure the ladies would appreciate your sentimentality. Nice right up. Thanks.

    Ken

  5. #5
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    My mind is full of pictures....

    Maybe everyone should chip in and buy me a digital camera.

  6. #6
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    Pics or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    "Young Girls in Lycra and Other Fine Sights"
    ... still a [email protected] good passion hit. (no! not *that* kind of passion!)

    Oh... and best wishes to Turbo on a speedy recovery!
    Randy

  7. #7
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    You sir, are a thinking man...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    Maybe everyone should chip in and buy me a digital camera.
    I can see a "Buy The Reverand a Camera" sticky with a link to paypal account.

    Then again, given your posting preferences, I suspect we'd still receive a healthy dose of words, but you would have a cool camera.

    I wonder if the two posters above me realize how ironic their posts are?

    Ken

  8. #8
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    Heal fast, Turbo.

    I've been Foley'd twice in the last 5 months. Man, does it hurt to pull those out. Can't imagine riding with one, but the Foley/hydrapack combo might work well for a Raiders' game, though.

  9. #9
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    Mr. Foley is leaving on Monday......

    Just a temporary companion so no chance to ride with him in the hydrapack.....

    Turbo is recovering quickly and goes home this afternoon.

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    This thread is useless...

    ...without Pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. #11

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    Y'all ever come riding down here in NC?

  12. #12
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    I seem to have a problem getting the pics to load
    Calling out from the Land of the Riding Hillbilly.


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  13. #13
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    For those who want pictures....

    Your imagination's eye is far better than any photos I could post but prehaps a short discription will help jump-start your thinking.

    Heather is a product of German ancestors. Prehaps 5'10" with long naturally blond hair and blue eyes.

    Michelle, on the other hand, has a deeper complexion which looks eternally tan, has dark, but not black, hair and liquid brown eyes. She is about 5'4".

    Turbo is 5'2" with reddish brown hair and green eyes.

    Bobolita is around 5'6", blond haired and blued eyed.

    Who cares what Retro and I look like but my bike is of grey steel and Retro's is red steel.

    Does that help? If not, I will take a closer look on the next ride.

    Peace
    Last edited by Rev Bubba; 04-22-2004 at 11:07 AM.

  14. #14
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    Here is a cheap way to get a digital camera

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    Maybe everyone should chip in and buy me a digital camera.
    http://www.techtv.com/news/products/...656571,00.html

    Education Coordinator for Bicycle Trails Council of the East Bay
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  15. #15
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    So Rev, when are you all coming to ride in North Jersey

  16. #16
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    Cruel and unusual punishment

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    Your imagination's eye is far better than any photos I could post but prehaps a short discription will help jump-start your thinking.

    Heather is a product of German ancestors. Prehaps 5'10" with long naturally blond hair and blue eyes.

    Michelle, on the other hand, has a deeper complexion whick looks eternally tan, has dark, but not black, hair and liquid brown eyes. She is about 5'4".

    Turbo is 5'2" with reddish brown hair and green eyes.

    Bobolita is around 5'6", blond haired and blued eyed.

    Who cares what Retro and I look like but my bike is of grey steel and Retro's is red steel.

    Does that help? If not, I will take a closer look on the next ride.

    Peace
    Damn, I'll pitch $10 for a camera for the Rev.

    I should have known not to open this thread when there was no photo icon on it.
    Calling out from the Land of the Riding Hillbilly.


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  17. #17
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    Soon, very soon.....

    I have to hang with Turbo this weekend and the following weekend is the 5 Boro ride in NYC but I plan to put something in Passion announcing a ride in North Jersey. Any place special you want to visit?

    Last year I got a group together at Kittatinny, the year before a couple of rides at Mahlon Dickerson.

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    Heather is a product of German ancestors. Prehaps 5'10" with long naturally blond hair and blue eyes.

  19. #19
    life is a barrel o'fun
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    No good Enough already!!!!

    What about that ad I saw in Outdoor magazine the other day at the gym? That hot brunette dude with the surfboard up to his knees in the water? I think his last name was Irons, or something to that effect.

    I'm sure he bikes once in a while, whoever it was.

  20. #20
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    You have to post a story from the opposite view

    A woman's point of view is always welcome.

  21. #21
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    ... and if we just ... Oh come on!

    Now you're just torturing the poor souls!

    It's funny though!

    Dr.F

  22. #22
    Jabberwocky Jockey
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christine
    hot brunette dude
    Somehow, those words do not belong together.

    Does not compute, does not compute..........................
    Calling out from the Land of the Riding Hillbilly.


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  23. #23
    life is a barrel o'fun
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    woman's point of view

    Okay, okay. Once in a while- NOT often, JUST sometimes- I'll see one of my biking buddies dressed for a ride, and think, "hmmm, not too shabby."

  24. #24
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    It's OK

    Quote Originally Posted by Christine
    Okay, okay. Once in a while- NOT often, JUST sometimes- I'll see one of my biking buddies dressed for a ride, and think, "hmmm, not too shabby."

    Once in a while- NOT often, JUST sometimes-

    It's OK Christine to think this more often..... You gals should just come clean and admit it's all about the Lycra and objectify us more.....


    -Dude
    If you wish to be out front, then act as if you are behind

  25. #25
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    Yeah, I don't mind being used now and than.....

    So the Dr. tells me after Turbo's surgery, "No sex for a month" and tell him, "Great job Doc, you doubled my sex life....."


    Only kidding but I told the story to Turbo when I took her home today and she [email protected] near split a stitch....

    I like this doctor. Instead of playing golf in his free time he plays hockey. Might not be the safest thing in his line of work but so much more interesting to talk about.

  26. #26
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    I'm looking to do a point to point from lot C in Ringwood down to the soccer field in Oakland in a few weeks, but I'm up for anywhere with dirt under the wheels.

  27. #27
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    Is lot "C" by the lake?

    Ringwood is about an hour from me so I don't ride there much but I might be interested. Could be a good way to get a bunch of Passionites together. Would we have to leave cars in both lots to do the point to point? I'm game in any case as long as my schedule allows. Most of my rides are close to home so I can get do them in a few hours but I'm always willing to try something new.

    REV

  28. #28
    Big ring = No chainsuck
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    Cruel and unsual indeed.
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes...
    That way, when you criticize him you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

  29. #29
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    Lot C

    If you go straight instead making the left to go to the lake and take that down to the right until you have to turn into a parking lot, that is lot C. It's a little out of the way, but a great place to start a ride from. Ringwood is about the same distance for me, but there isn't any riding in Essex county anymore so I'm SOL on the riding locally unless it's a road ride. I'm also looking to hit Allaire and Hartshorne before the summer when the sand gets too loose.

  30. #30

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    since no one else will

    mmmmmm Paola
    Attached Images Attached Images

  31. #31
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    Nice story, Bubba.

    And I'm posting here because you're right and I know that the imagination is better than the pictures. I got a huge woody from your bike descriptions...EeeYow!

    Bb, [ a woody was an old wood paneled station wagon when I was a boy.]
    bikes are art you ride

  32. #32
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    Thanks for the excellent read Rev.

    Pictures? Who needs pictures! Well, they would've been nice. Really nice! But then again, a few quick keystrokes and I could get all the lycra-clad women i could ask for! Not that I'd do that or anything...

    Anyhoo, I'd be up for a North Jersey "gathering" of some sort. AS you probably already know, I'm in the Poconos so anything off 80 is good for me. Waiting patiently...

    James
    A good friend will come bail you out of jail.
    But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying
    "Damn... we fcuked up!"

  33. #33
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    My surgeon is better...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba
    So the Dr. tells me after Turbo's surgery, "No sex for a month" and tell him, "Great job Doc, you doubled my sex life....."


    Only kidding but I told the story to Turbo when I took her home today and she [email protected] near split a stitch....

    I like this doctor. Instead of playing golf in his free time he plays hockey. Might not be the safest thing in his line of work but so much more interesting to talk about.

    He said his daughter is an avid mtb and road cyclist. Now, guessing his age and subtracting 25 or 30 years......hmmm.

    Surgery wasn't all bad. The highlight of my hospital stay was when a really cute, twenty-something occupational therapist helped me take a shower. It's been a while since a young woman has ordered me to take my clothes off. :+)

  34. #34
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    Retro Fred had a Woody

    And I'm referring to the automobile kind. When we were teens and had just gotten into surfing in the 60's he got hold of his grandfather's Woody. We traveled in style in those days. Two blond haired surfer duds with our longboards and our Woody.

    Retro still has his original Hansen board (naturally, I call him Retro with good reason) and I'm picking up a new one in a few weeks.

  35. #35
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    I'm going to have to set something up in a few weeks.

    Next week is the NYC 5 Boro ride so that's out. Week after is Mother's Day. Maybe the week after that.

    Lots of interest in a North Jersey thing.

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