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  1. #1
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    Convincing someone to wear bike specific shoes

    I cant convince my stubborn gf to wear a pair of womens 5.10 kharvers! Even with me giving her advice, and the lbs giving her even stronger advice as to why she needs them, she just insists on wearing normal tennis shoes. I talk about the difference in grip and she says hers grip fine, I talk about the saftey of added ankle support and having a more solid toe box for if she jams her foot, and she just says shes never done that, and I talk about how much more power you get to the pedals with a stiffer sole and how that will result in less foot muscle fatigue on longer rides and she says that stiff sole will be uncomfortable and that her feet dont get tired. She wouldn't want to ride clipless because she is not that experienced yet, but I think that a nice pair of shoes for platform pedals would do her well and make her feel more confident. She just thinks the kharvers are big and clunky and that she wouldn't like them, and is being really resistant to trying them on even though the lbs said they would bring in her size +/- half a size in case they fit better. Has anyone else had to deal with someone who is really stubborn like this, and how did you finally convince them? Does anyone have pictures/stories of their foots getting jacked up from wearing a soft toed shoe? I probably should just give it up but then I'd have to think of a different christmas present

  2. #2
    i also unicycle
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    i'd say knock it off or you might not have a girlfriend any more.when she's ready for them, she'll come around. if she's legitimately not having problems, why push her. if she is having problems, at some point she'll ask someone for advice.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by markf
    i'd say knock it off or you might not have a girlfriend any more.when she's ready for them, she'll come around. if she's legitimately not having problems, why push her. if she is having problems, at some point she'll ask someone for advice.

  4. #4
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    I agree. I think the real question here is how does your gf get you to leave her alone?

  5. #5
    The Martian
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    Keep this up and you won't have to worry about it for much longer.

    Say...what size bike does she ride? I might be interested in it when you are selling it here shortly...

  6. #6
    Old man on a bike
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    Never try to influence a woman's shoes...just beyond your realm of influence.
    Plus, they are pretty ugly....
    "...the people get the government they deserve..."
    suum quique

  7. #7

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    Showing her pictures isn't going to make her change her mind. Let her wear what she wants, she'll be fine.

    And if she screws up her ankle, foot, whatever, "I told you so" isn't appropriate. No matter how badly you want to say it.

  8. #8
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    My wife is extremely stubborn. I've learned to just let her do what she's comfortable with. I don't pick on her for wearing flats because if she does get curious about clipless, she'll be more willing to change her mind if she knows I won't immediately do the "I TOLD YOU SO" thing (I'll wait until after she's had a few rides with them). Just let her do her own thing, keep her riding, and let her figure some stuff out on her own. If you force in to doing things she's uncomfortable with (which is confusing because it's required in bed..what?) she won't ride bikes no mo...at least not with you.
    :wq

  9. #9
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    I'm afraid you are gonna have to let her learn the HARD WAY...one bad wreck in her tennies, and she'll be begging you about those bike shoes. Ask me how I know....
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  10. #10
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    A male expert on womens shoe preference ...unless your gay fogetaboutit...she ain't listening to you boy.

    Besides are you trying to turn her into a hardcore mtn bike rider?

    If so...fogetabouit!

    Be happy she rides with you and learn to accept those things you cannot change.

    I can tell you she would be much happier with this for Christmas.



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  11. #11
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    Alright note taken. She wouldn't dump me over the simple fact of trying to convince her to wear cycling shoes fortunately so I think I'm fine there. Weird though that a girl wouldn't be happy about getting more shoes, especially if it meant no more of her tennis shoes getting destroyed... Ah well, I just thought the more comfortable/equipped she is to go riding with me the more she'd enjoy it but I guess I'll just pick my battles and wait til she submits.

  12. #12
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    "Battle" and Submit"

    Some very telling language. My guess is that she has learned to deal with you by just holding her own ground. Funny thing is that your approach can push people into the very corner you didn't want them to go even if it is cutting of their nose to spite their face. It might simply be that this is all too much change from that with which she is familiar. She likes her shoes, thank you very much, and isn't going to let you talk her out of it. She'll show you, boy.

    Part of the challenge is that you may be right; bike stuff is designed to work for bike riding.t Yet having it come from you all the time gets annoying after a while. If you expose her to lots of other girl riders and they are wearing good bike gear she will "decide" to do something about her shoes. Having said that don't expect her to wear kharvers.

  13. #13
    Dirty South Underdog
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    I did a quick google search for kharver shoes and couldn't find anything... what do they look like? I'm guessing that if she thinks they're fugly, there's no way in h*ll she's going to want to wear them. I know I wouldn't!
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bikinfoolferlife
    Never try to influence a woman's shoes...just beyond your realm of influence.
    Plus, they are pretty ugly....
    ...and may not even fit her.
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  15. #15
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    Back off, and don't worry about it.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  16. #16
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    Let her ride in what she wants to ride in. My wife hates her seat, so for Christmas I am buying her big bulky seat that she'll be more comfortable on. She will never ride any serious single track and she really just rides to hang with me - so there is no reason to force anything on her.

    If she is comfortable in tennis shoes, let her move upwards into more specific shoes. If not, just enjoy the time on a bike with her because at the end of the day, its should not be about the ride at all.

  17. #17
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    Get her a pair of clipless pedals fro Christmas and put them on her bike. Ever try and ride clipless pedals with sneakers?
    I guess that is why I am still single...

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yogii
    Get her a pair of clipless pedals fro Christmas and put them on her bike. Ever try and ride clipless pedals with sneakers?
    I guess that is why I am still single...
    Haha probably best advice I've seen... Everybody else seems hell-bent on dishing out relationship advice except the people that said that Karvers are fugly, which they are. I'm not trying to get her onto clipless pedals though. We just ride a lot of techy rocky, rooty single track or else I wouldn't care what she wears and I personally loved the upgrade to impact 2's so I didn't know why she just didn't even want to entertain the idea of trying them on. If they didn't fit right I'd drop it immiediately though... Oh well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Berkeley Mike
    Some very telling language. My guess is that she has learned to deal with you by just holding her own ground.
    If only... Everybody here thinks I'm trying to dominate my g/f but its the exact opposite, I'm trying to hold my ground before she takes everything over! Shes always right... I just wanted to be right this time

  19. #19
    saddlemeat
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    Get her in good shoes and she'll be beating you, plus you will have no time of your own, she be DEMANDING you ride with her, service her bike, spend your hard earned money on carbon and ti and sheila moon.

    Happened to me.
    Last edited by bsieb; 12-07-2009 at 10:59 PM.
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  20. #20
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    beats me, sorry... ?
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  21. #21
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    I have a similar problem with my riding partner, (not my gf).
    She rides platforms with running shoes (she runs in them too). She's good rider! She'd be more comfortable and confident with the 5.10's. Doesnt like clipless.

    I'm just getting her the Karvers, she can always return them but I think when she trys them she'll like them.
    Also a nice pair of Patagonia Merino Wool Socks. So she be more cozy!
    The Lone Rider.

  22. #22
    Dirty South Underdog
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    Ok, now that I see how to spell "Karver" (as opposed to Kharver), I can see why she doesn't want to wear those. Call me a vain roadie or picky woman, but I wouldn't ride those if they meant I'd never run into another tree and could clear any rock garden in Arkansas
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  23. #23
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    I'm going to have to disagree that she even needs those shoes. I've ridden clipless for 10+ plus years (god I feel old) Clipless mtb shoes have zero ankle support, there kind of akward to walk in, slippery on rocks. Maybe the worst shoe you could have on while your falling. The worst I've done is run my foot into rocks which wouldn't even hurt that much if I wasn't clipped in. Once she starts downhilling maybe she should get some 5.10's until then dont worry about it she'll be fine. Stop hounding her. I wouldn't be worried about her breaking up with you over this but be careful because you want biking to be fun for her. If it stops being fun she won't want to go.

  24. #24
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    After being married for 22 years now, this is a humorous thread with a lot of wisdom! Wish I didn't take so long to learn some of it!

  25. #25
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    delete

    delete
    Last edited by Berkeley Mike; 12-08-2009 at 12:16 PM. Reason: posted in error.

  26. #26
    Old man on a bike
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea138
    Ok, now that I see how to spell "Karver" (as opposed to Kharver), I can see why she doesn't want to wear those. Call me a vain roadie or picky woman, but I wouldn't ride those if they meant I'd never run into another tree and could clear any rock garden in Arkansas
    That's what I was saying, they're kinda ugly....unless you're a boy in junior high or something.
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  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea138
    Ok, now that I see how to spell "Karver" (as opposed to Kharver), I can see why she doesn't want to wear those. Call me a vain roadie or picky woman, but I wouldn't ride those if they meant I'd never run into another tree and could clear any rock garden in Arkansas
    Just looked up a pic of these...uhh...shoes.






    Soooo...what would make you think a women would like these shoes again?
    Even my 12 year old boy thinks they are ugly and wouldn't be caught dead in them!

    Me I have no opinion, however if I can suggest a jacket to go with the red versions...



    This would look slick with the purple versions...




    Add one of these and you can ride around looking like your grabbing your crotch for those big drops!



    Sorry man, couldn't resist.

  28. #28
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    you can lead a horse to water...

  29. #29
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    I came across some mavic that held feet to the pedals with magnets??

  30. #30
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    would you wear a matching pink spandex kit if your girlfriend insisted you should?

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExCactus
    Alright note taken. She wouldn't dump me over the simple fact of trying to convince her to wear cycling shoes fortunately so I think I'm fine there. Weird though that a girl wouldn't be happy about getting more shoes, especially if it meant no more of her tennis shoes getting destroyed... Ah well, I just thought the more comfortable/equipped she is to go riding with me the more she'd enjoy it but I guess I'll just pick my battles and wait til she submits.
    If you're getting so worked up about this that you're posting it here then she might not dump you over this but she might just dump you over the other 20 things you're taking this same approach. The remember EVERYTHING and FOREVER so while you are thinking a given argument is water under the bridge she is thinking Here we go AGAIN!

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExCactus
    I probably should just give it up but then I'd have to think of a different christmas present
    This is the real issue, isn't it?

  33. #33
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    I switched to skate shoes and flats for mountain biking about 5 years ago and its fine. I wouldn't push the shoes. I only wear cycling specific shoes for commuting now and I suppose I'd wear them if I was riding xc again. If she wants to switch, she'll come to that on her own. Just be glad she rides with you.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by shockfinder
    This is the real issue, isn't it?
    Yep

    Quote Originally Posted by archer
    If you're getting so worked up about this that you're posting it here then she might not dump you over this but she might just dump you over the other 20 things you're taking this same approach. The remember EVERYTHING and FOREVER so while you are thinking a given argument is water under the bridge she is thinking Here we go AGAIN!
    Shame on me for trying to make her riding experience more comfortable and safe right? Damn I'm a real *******... You really figured me out! Or maybe the reason I posted here is because I wanted to hear other peoples experiences so I had a more rational/logical means of talking to her than just buggin her all day every day being pushy like everybody thinks I was being. I'm more frustrated from the lack of mtb related advice that I recieved.

  35. #35
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    its gonna suck when you realize what hes trying to tell you

  36. #36
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    Theyre not really that bad, look fine on the trail.
    Maybe not for clubbing.
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    The Lone Rider.

  37. #37
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    The real issue is those shoes are actually predicting the next fad, they would actually go really nicely with some purple ano...its coming back...mark my words.





    Oh oh.

  38. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExCactus
    Haha probably best advice I've seen... Everybody else seems hell-bent on dishing out relationship advice except the people that said that Karvers are fugly, which they are. I'm not trying to get her onto clipless pedals though. We just ride a lot of techy rocky, rooty single track or else I wouldn't care what she wears and I personally loved the upgrade to impact 2's so I didn't know why she just didn't even want to entertain the idea of trying them on. If they didn't fit right I'd drop it immiediately though... Oh well.



    If only... Everybody here thinks I'm trying to dominate my g/f but its the exact opposite, I'm trying to hold my ground before she takes everything over! Shes always right... I just wanted to be right this time
    Did you let HER look at EVERY female specific shoes you can find? "Do you like any of these?" The fact you don't even know why she is not interested tells a story. Might be time to step back and take some of the advice you were given, possibly grow up a bit.
    As for clipless, have you asked her? It's her feet right? Let's all hope you haven't driven a female out of this sport by pushing such a silly point in the wrong way....

  39. #39
    Its got what plants crave
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    I think what she's trying to tell you is that she's not that into you anymore, and that's she's sleeping with your friend Tyrone.
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  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by ash240
    Did you let HER look at EVERY female specific shoes you can find? "Do you like any of these?" The fact you don't even know why she is not interested tells a story. Might be time to step back and take some of the advice you were given, possibly grow up a bit.
    As for clipless, have you asked her? It's her feet right? Let's all hope you haven't driven a female out of this sport by pushing such a silly point in the wrong way....
    Yes I asked about clipless, she doesn't want to get anywhere near those. Yes she wants some sort of shoe as she has said that before to me several times. Yes we have looked at a bunch of platform specific womens shoes, which there are very few of, and most of them are the kind that have a plastic plate where the spd cleat would fit in so they dont stick to the pedal at all, and five tens are the best platform specific shoes, its science. Thats why I was frustrated, because I wasn't pushing anything on her and she was saying she wanted shoes, yet when we went to go get them she basically told me to not bother because she would never wear them. I was flabbergasted, hence why I posted in the first place. She has since appologized for that little tiff at the bike shop and told me she wants to try them, case closed. Now some advice for you, quit using /b/, it destroys your soul.

  41. #41
    lotto baby
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4JawChuck
    The real issue is those shoes are actually predicting the next fad, they would actually go really nicely with some purple ano...its coming back...mark my words.
    this is the truth. on my local mtb site, a guy is selling some purple ano cantis for a cross bike... its creeping up on us...
    i spurt in the wind, and the wind drug it

  42. #42
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    i wear some dc shoes made for bmx when i ride. good enough to do trail jumps and throw my self off stairs it's good enough to mountain bike.
    my wife wears some es skate shoes, she likes them and what ever keeps her happy, keeps her riding with me.

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by clarkenstein
    this is the truth. on my local mtb site, a guy is selling some purple ano cantis for a cross bike... its creeping up on us...
    Thats good cause I want my next build to be purple and gold, go dawgs!

  44. #44

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExCactus
    Yes I asked about clipless, she doesn't want to get anywhere near those.

    PD-M647 or similar? Then ANY decent cycling shoe she picks can be used without the cleats. Reasonable grip and she can transition when she wants.

    Yes she wants some sort of shoe as she has said that before to me several times. Yes we have looked at a bunch of platform specific womens shoes, which there are very few of, and most of them are the kind that have a plastic plate where the spd cleat would fit in so they dont stick to the pedal at all,

    "a bunch"? Just get her on google and look at all of them.

    and five tens are the best platform specific shoes, its science.

    In your opinion. It's her feet.

    Thats why I was frustrated, because I wasn't pushing anything on her and she was saying she wanted shoes, yet when we went to go get them she basically told me to not bother because she would never wear them.

    Good on her for being honest . Maybe learn to listen a bit more and work with her Would you wear some POS thing she picked for you and was ugly?

    I was flabbergasted, hence why I posted in the first place. She has since appologized for that little tiff at the bike shop and told me she wants to try them, case closed.

    You do need to grow up. She made it clear she didn't like them. Find something she does, not "oh well, now she has agreed to be right and do it how I want". Your attitude sucks.

    Now some advice for you, quit using /b/, it destroys your soul.
    What? I have no idea what you are on about. Do you?

    YOU have a problem. that problem is a lack of understanding, knowledge about women and it seems you don't want to learn. Don't worry, I'm sure she will teach you a lesson the hard way if you don't get it the easy way.

    Have you sat her down with google? Got her on here in the woman's forum? There are a LOT of shoes out there for her to pick from. She will not be happy wearing something she does not like and this will cause other issues. I'm SURE the Women on the forum would love to help her find the right shoes.

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by ash240
    What? I have no idea what you are on about. Do you?

    YOU have a problem. that problem is a lack of understanding, knowledge about women and it seems you don't want to learn. Don't worry, I'm sure she will teach you a lesson the hard way if you don't get it the easy way.

    Have you sat her down with google? Got her on here in the woman's forum? There are a LOT of shoes out there for her to pick from. She will not be happy wearing something she does not like and this will cause other issues. I'm SURE the Women on the forum would love to help her find the right shoes.
    Are you even being serious right now? Disect my sentences a little bit more... We had sat for several hours on google looking at womens shoes, read reviews on them, I gave my opinion that I thought the five tens would work best ( I have no clue where you get off calling them POS shoes, they may be ugly but they function great), we checked out the selection of all different types of womens shoes at every lbs and outdoor store in the surrounding area, and she just so happened to be PMSing the day we went to try the five tens on and she didn't want to try shoes on that day! I didn't bring it up again, she came and told me and appologized for it and said she wants to try them out, not me forcing my will as you think. YOU have the problem. Quit assuming other people have bad relationships when yours clearly dont work.

    Would a mod please lock this thread now... This is getting very much off topic.

  46. #46
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    speaking of off topic
    get her on birth control, it helps with the pms
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