I have mixed feelings about the fact that a large number of the threads in this forum are from guys looking for advice about how to get their girl into the sport, what bike to get her, etc. While they are all well-intended and it's great that they're asking these questions instead of just assuming, sometimes I feel like I'd rather see the forum filled with questions from women instead of having so many guys posting in our one forum and having to read/answer these same questions over and over. On the other hand, it's nice to help out people who need advice, and it ultimately benefits both the guy and his girl. And hey, I'm just surfing the net at work anyway and can always skip those questions if I don't want to read them. Just wondering what you all think since I can't make up my mind on this.
Well... they keep coming up with similar questions, and their alternative is to ask a bunch of guys....
I usually don't answer those posts because I'm somewhat unusual for an XX hominid: I'd appreciate my husband asking ME directly and just hash things out from there. "Honey, I'd like to do more {insert sport/activity} together. Whaddya think? What can I do for you to make it enjoyable for both of us? I have some ideas, but tell me yours first..."
And for those guys who need some brain-bleach, YES, this approach may be profitable for any number of things. But that's just MY perspective, other women apparently prefer a more indirect route to MTBing. YMMV
I think it's weird that the women don't speak up for themselves. It's too bad guys are wanting to have biker girlfriends so much though and there's not enough to go around so they have to "build" one....
I think it's weird that the women don't speak up for themselves. It's too bad guys are wanting to have biker girlfriends so much though and there's not enough to go around so they have to "build" one....
That's funny. We need to write a "how to turn your current model of girlfriend into the new and improved Robotron 2000 Mtb model".
The current thread, "So my girlfriend asked me - Why don't more women ride mountain bikes?" is a pretty good one with good responses. Maybe that thread or a similar one can be made into a "sticky"??
P.S. Isn't it ironic that guys are always complaining about how women are always out to try to change them....
Indeed, there has been quite a few "guy asking about girlfriend" posts lately, not sure why. They seem to come in bursts.
We already have a faq in this forum that links to other similar threads. Of course, guys have to actually read the faq to know this. . . It's stickied, but I don't think all people "see" it when they come in....
I get torn between just telling someone to "read the faq" (which always sounds a bit dismissive) versus just answering the same questions again, and again, and again....I don't want to quash anyone's interest, per se, and sometimes a "new" thread brings up new perspectives that haven't been explored before....but then again, sometimes it get old.
Also, I think I'm just so amazed to see a guy asking for directions that I almost feel compelled to answer....
.(joke, its a joke!!)
Ditto what Impy said. How I answer ( or don't) depends on mood. Overall, if they aren't trolling, looking for a date or advice on why they just got dumped, guys posting is just fine with me.
WERD. Maybe we should have a group policy of answering such requests with "How can I convince my husband or BF to bring home more money/ actually listen to me/ quit leaving his crap all over the place/ dress nicer/ get on the house projects without my nagging/ go into the doctor for a checkup/ shave and bathe regularly/ remember birthdays & anniversaries?"* Oh no, those evil conniving byoches are trying to CHANGE THEM AGAIN!!!!
*disclaimer: this list is just a sample of stuff I've heard over the years, NOT all from personal experience and some of it I could care less about.
I saw the title of the thread as I scrolled down, and had to look. The reason you all get these questions all the time is that they are asked first on passion or general. We fumble around for a while proving to eachother how little we actually know until someone posts up, " Why don't you go ask the girls?" Then we all breath a sigh of relief, scratch ourselves or something, and continue on or malecentric way. Thanks for putting up with us. I'll go shave and shower now. peace Ken
I saw the title of the thread as I scrolled down, and had to look. The reason you all get these questions all the time is that they are asked first on passion or general. We fumble around for a while proving to each other how little we actually know until someone posts up, " Why don't you go ask the girls?" Then we all breath a sigh of relief, scratch ourselves or something, and continue on or malecentric way. Thanks for putting up with us. I'll go shave and shower now. peace Ken
about guys making inquires around the issue of women in mountain biking who are clueless, whether they admit it or not, lack a certain generousity of spirit. While the best repository of information about what a woman wants, needs, or desires, may be sitting next to them, access to that information is problematic for a multitude of reasons.
They come here for the same reason that they might their SO's best friend about what SO might like for her birthday. What I have heard here is a suspicion about the motives a guy might have for developing SO into a mountain biker. What is that about? In fairness, few responses to these questions have convinced me that the answer is simple or known by any of the women on this forum.
I train beginners of both genders. There is only so much information they can give you about what they need. After that you rely on your own experience and that of your collegues. I consider many of the participants in this forum collegues. I consider many others points of departure and enrichment. I consider this forum an invaluable source of information on women and cycling.
That the question of engaging and training women in cycling is on the minds of men is a positive thing. That they come here for guidance and insight is a recognition of a valuable resource and not in anyexploitive fashion. Could it be manged better? Of course it could, just as any information sought by a noob, and these guys are noobs in this realm, could be managed better. Hence the stickies.
One can always choose not to respond to a topic. One can also choose to participate in a subject that has been discussed before. We all have new experiences, learn, evolve experiment, and re-understand our concepts and this concept is certainly no different. I know that, for me, my thoughts on women and cycling have developed a great deal by particpation here. My time here has also dramatically shifted the way I experience women riders in real time; I want to understand their experience and be able to promote it if I can. My young women riders have been supported both emotionally and financially by member of this forum. My boys, by this support, have gained a new appreciation of what girls are about in mountain biking.
Now, if members don't WANT men here that is a different story. I think that has been discussed here, too.
That said, if I'm in the right mood (e.g., Friday afternoon, looking forward to the weekend and procrastinating on work), I'll answer all sorts of questions that I might not answer at other times. At least I think most of these men's hearts are in the right place: wanting to spend more time with their loved ones, sharing a great activity. It's not like they're asking us how to come up with alibis on how to cheat on their wives.
It has been discussed. I am a member of another forum which has a closed women's forum - and it is a very different vibe. . .not better, not worse, just different. But the concensus here has always been that input from both genders is valuable.
Even if some men seem to like to tell us what our experience is. That just goes along with the territory.
I saw the title of the thread as I scrolled down, and had to look. The reason you all get these questions all the time is that they are asked first on passion or general. We fumble around for a while proving to eachother how little we actually know until someone posts up, " Why don't you go ask the girls?" Then we all breath a sigh of relief, scratch ourselves or something, and continue on or malecentric way.
You are funny but you speak the truth. Most guys don't know what's been discussed here, and it is logical that perhaps women who like to bike have the potential key to success for stimulating interest. So why not come in here and ask? I'm sure for every guy posting an old question there are many others who read the faq and quietly went on.
I don't mind the interest. A little patience on our part isn't a bad idea either.
A little OT but I never sought advice from any women reagarding getting my wife to ride although I have desparately wanted her to ride with me...she is a self-admitted fraidy cat who bruises very easily...two weeks ago she agreed to give the trails a try...all cross county mind you. I gave her warnings about what was ahead and pointers on technnique (a bit of the blind leading the nekkid) ...after overparenting her, she finally stated that if I dont want to do it, she'd walk it...well, she fell and the bike bruised her up real good and she was pretty much done for day and very upset because she had some business the next day. It was then I started discussing how it will be a badge of honor when she shows up in court all bruised up! Sent her a couple of you'lls threads to let her know she was not alone. Too limited avail. However, I cannot could not have been more proud, happy for her trying to ride and facing her fears. I just hope it will not be the last time we ride together...
Ok I realize I am guilty of one of "those" threads, sorry. But I mean, we're men and we're dumb when it comes to helping our better half out. Give me a soggy Avid brake and I'll fix it up better than new but try to help the GF learn riding and that's waaay outside anything I know. So I go right to the experts.
It's good for you guys too you know. If we are successful you'll get another woman MTB'r, and that's a good thing!
In thinking more about it, I guess it's more a matter of the volume of posts in this forum (and even in this thread) that end up being by men in what is labeled as a women's forum. All the guys that have posted have asked worthy, reasonable questions and have good reasons for posting here. They are generally enlightened, above-average type of people who are just asking for a little exchange of information, which is after all the point of these forums. There's nothing wrong with any particular post... it's just that collectively they can seem like the forum gets kind of taken over sometimes. In the mountain bike world, we spend so much time around/talking to/riding with/listening to/reading posts by men that sometimes you just wanna hear from the ladies. Especially when a lot of the posts by the guys have been discussed like 20 times already
In thinking more about it, I guess it's more a matter of the volume of posts in this forum (and even in this thread) that end up being by men in what is labeled as a women's forum.
Exactly! And that is why you, and me, and all the rest of the awesome women here are going to make a resolution to start posting more ride reports, and gear reviews, and all the other cool stuff that we want here, in addition to being a great resource for the guys who are trying to help their gals
If our voices are getting diluted, we just need to pump up the volume!
In thinking more about it, I guess it's more a matter of the volume of posts in this forum (and even in this thread) that end up being by men in what is labeled as a women's forum.
The real problem, in my mind, is that there aren't enough women mountain bikers! I would have no problem with this being a women's only forum, but that's not the case as of now. I know we're guests here but there are just so many more MTB men than women. I would guess there are a fair number of women who want a forum where no men are allowed.
On the flip side, if someone suggested a "men's only" forum I would think that is kinda silly because most posters are men anyway.
Exactly! And that is why you, and me, and all the rest of the awesome women here are going to make a resolution to start posting more ride reports, and gear reviews, and all the other cool stuff that we want here, in addition to being a great resource for the guys who are trying to help their gals
If our voices are getting diluted, we just need to pump up the volume!
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