Got this from a NZ newsletter I subscribe to. We've all had that creepy crawly sensation around the campfire when someone pipes up and asks about ticks. This story oughta get the creepies going good also.

So this is hearsay, but heard it from the friend it happened to: on the way to the forest in a car, when a tickling sensation around the left ear prompted a look in the mirror. A spider was disappearing into the ear. It is a well-proportioned ear, so the spider canít have been as big as it was described, but things always look bigger in a rear-view mirror.

At least it was a kiwi spider, so not deadly like Australian ones.

Showing admirable self-control, the friend continued driving to the forest, while the spider wiggled and jiggled etcetera etcetera. On meeting the riding partner, the friend leapt out of the car, and there was a period of rapid hand waving and general panic. Close inspection confirmed there was a spider lurking in the ear, and something would need to be done.

The pair consulted, and decided to arrange the victim on the bonnet of the car so the spidery ear was uppermost, and pour chain lube into it. What kind, wet or dry, self-cleaning or graphite impregnated, was not specified. The spider staggered out and slithered away, or something. A short period of intense discomfort was followed by a pleasant enough ride. Canít believe the chosen method of despatching the spider, and question the wisdom of pouring chain lube into an ear, but have been assured that the inner ear is entirely sealed off from the innards of the head so no problemo. And these people should know, they are both doctors.