OT: A mountain biking first....
Went on a ride this afternoon. My WED routine. Anyway, the trail is a 10 mile or so loop. I come around toward a 'horse rider' parking lot, and there is an RV in the lot. Kinda wierd. Camping here is not allowed.
So anyway, I pass on, enjoying the tight twists and such, I come around a sharp somewhat blind corner. Standing there right in the middle of the path was a topless woman, and a guy (At least 55 yrs old, nothing exciting by any streach of the imagination). She apparently saw me first, because by the time I heard the scream and looked up, she was there covering up those knee knockers. They are both in swimming suits, and there is no water around here for at least 5 miles. Very odd. I can only assume the worst.
So they are there kinda blocking the trail. He is attempting to cover her up better, but no efforts to move their asses off the trail for me. I didnt let up, and passed them fill tilt boogie (the Flux really does accelerate well) by veering off the trail. I scared them, and suprised myself. If I had more of a warning, I might have been able to come up with something witty (READ as something that might have deserved a push off the bike), but I just said with a grin "Howwyadoin?" as if I really wanted the answer to that one..... In the short time that I was within earshot, he said something along the lines of "Lucky SOB." Well, thats not exactly what I was thinking, but anyway.......
So I guess this was the first (and Godwilling the LAST) time Ill see some senior citizens getting ready to bump uglies out in the woods........
Shot Down in Flames...
That's funny. I had a similar situation happen once at the Morris Bridge/Trout Creek trail in Tampa about 8 years ago.
Myself and a couple guys were riding a section that hardly ever was used and we ran up on a couple in their late 40's. The woman was scantily clad and dude had a camera around his neck!! A few minutes later and who knows what we would have seen.
The odd thing was that they were about 6-7 feet from the waterline that was a known alligator habitat.
yeah OK my story;
years ago I was working at a shop. One day I built up a 'cross bike out of cheap/scrap parts. at 7pm we closed up the shop and I was super excited to ride my new rig; the shop was in downtown seattle. I climbed up capital hill to the nearest urban park that actually had some pretty fun steep trails with rollers and staircase sections.. next to the park there was some sort of private school. I came booking around a corner on a remote trail by the school only to find a buck naked dude sitting on a log, choking his chicken!
weird thing was, the dude just got up and ran off, no clothes, no bag, basically right in the city... crazy. totally grossed me out.
I had a hot date that night and I was totally traumitized. Fortunately she found the whole story very funny.
Similar situation: lived in Miami 10 years ago and was riding a crappy trail in Key Biscayne when a naked dude comes walking towards me on the trail. Of course I hauled ass out of there! Turns out it was a nudist beach.. Not nice to have a guy with his nads in the air heading you way!
"Hell, the Titus Moderator can't pass a cantina without gettin' the shakes"
Natl. Champ DH Poser/Hack
no nudity but....
lemme preface this by makein sure you all know im not tryin to offend anyone. just a funny shop event. ok? cool. here goes.....
dateline 2002. im workin in a shop in az. a old one, goin on 50 years and weve been talkin bout makin some t-shirts to honor the aniversary. so these 2 gals have been shoppin some homegrown h/t's. the first one buys quickly, the 2nd not so much. by now its pretty obvious they are gay, lesbians, life partners if thats better for ya. ones the more butch type, the other is a super fem type. ya know, quiet, reserved, polite and quite pretty.
so super fem eventually buys her homey from me and and my p/t guy is preppin it in the stand when one of her tubes blows sky high. its a smallish shop so the bang is decimating. SF sreams out, burries her head in her girlfriends shoulder and starts to bawl. now this is bad. not the type of C.S. i wanna offer but hey, its a honest mistake, right?
i go to help out and my p/t wrench says to me, "(Bob's) Schwinn. Making lesbians cry for 50 years." we all just about lost it! even the owners. lucky for me, i was able to regain myself and finish the sale without offending the girls and they continued to be some of my best custys till the day i left.
Last edited by cactuscorn; 10-13-2005 at 12:23 AM.
Reason: cuz i have the power of the edit button right here in my hands!
No, I'm NOT back!
speaking of traumatizing trailside events...
Was riding one of my local trails after work couple of summers ago, and as I come flying around a bend theres a woman pinching a loaf trailside. Won't go into the graphic details but the timing, and her a$$ relative to my field of view couldn't be worse. Soon as she heard me, she sprang up in an instant pulling her drawers up along with her unfinished business which Im sure made for an interesting hike back to the trailhead for her. Everything happened within 2 seconds but till this day I approach this section of trail with caution.