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  1. #1
    fried stuff with cheese
    Reputation: Locotiki's Avatar
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    It's Friday...WAY OT.

    OK, maybe this won't be as funny to some as it was for me.
    I asked someone who works for me to write an add for me for a position we are hiring for.
    This is what I got back. Think we should run it?

    Outside Sales – Professional Video Equipment

    Can you handle it?!?!?!

    Blasting off awesomely accurate quotes in a totally timely manner to high-end customers? The nail-biting tension of waiting for days (or even weeks!) wondering if you rocked enough to get that PO? Racing down I-93 to kick it old-school demoing the most radical new equipment in the industry? Facing the competition by going SO LOW that the whole world knows that your prices cannot be beat?

    Can you handle it?!?!?! Seven days a week?!?!?!

    If you think you’re man (or woman, EOE) enough to meet these and other rockin’ challenges on a daily basis, it’s time to bring it. And by “it”, we mean your resume. To Great Northern Video. That’s right, THE Great Northern Video. The undisputed ruler of pro video sales and service in Northern New England.

    Think you’ve got what it takes to join our balls-to-the-wall sales force?!?!?!

    If so, you have:

    • mad organizational skillz
    • attention to detail like you read about
    • a phone manner that says, “I will rock you - and you will thank me for it!”
    • the professional communication ability of a god
    • 3-5 years of demolishing sales experience
    • an inhuman love of the video production industry and a carnal knowledge of its internal workings

    If you meet these killer requirements, you need to get with the winners! Stop screwing around in your dead-end job and hook up with the Princes of Production, the Tsars of Teleconferencing, the Viscounts of Video! Do something bad-ass with your life and show us what you’ve got!

    Bi*tch slap boredom and donkey punch depression at Great Northern Video! You’re riding with the big doggs now!!!!



    So what do you think?
    Egg

  2. #2
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    I'd apply!!!

    and I'm an accountant!

  3. #3
    Nightriding rules SuperModerator
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    Sounds cool!

  4. #4
    Natl. Champ DH Poser/Hack
    Reputation: cactuscorn's Avatar
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    that job is mine! i just gave notice at the tv station and loaded my bike on the bus. ill be there in 2 days!

    "Bi*tch slap boredom and donkey punch depression" classic!
    No, I'm NOT back!

  5. #5
    Lay off the Levers
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    I coulda sworn I saw almost the same thing in the window at BestBuy.


    Nice!
    Countdown to Whistler 2012...
    July can't come fast enough!

  6. #6
    Bike Snob
    Reputation: can't get right's Avatar
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    You mind if I plagerize some of that and insert "Septic Cleanup" for my business?

  7. #7
    Team Blindspot
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    Quote Originally Posted by Locotiki
    OK, maybe this won't be as funny to some as it was for me.
    I asked someone who works for me to write an add for me for a position we are hiring for.
    This is what I got back. Think we should run it?

    Outside Sales – Professional Video Equipment

    Can you handle it?!?!?!

    Blasting off awesomely accurate quotes in a totally timely manner to high-end customers? The nail-biting tension of waiting for days (or even weeks!) wondering if you rocked enough to get that PO? Racing down I-93 to kick it old-school demoing the most radical new equipment in the industry? Facing the competition by going SO LOW that the whole world knows that your prices cannot be beat?

    Can you handle it?!?!?! Seven days a week?!?!?!

    If you think you’re man (or woman, EOE) enough to meet these and other rockin’ challenges on a daily basis, it’s time to bring it. And by “it”, we mean your resume. To Great Northern Video. That’s right, THE Great Northern Video. The undisputed ruler of pro video sales and service in Northern New England.

    Think you’ve got what it takes to join our balls-to-the-wall sales force?!?!?!

    If so, you have:

    • mad organizational skillz
    • attention to detail like you read about
    • a phone manner that says, “I will rock you - and you will thank me for it!”
    • the professional communication ability of a god
    • 3-5 years of demolishing sales experience
    • an inhuman love of the video production industry and a carnal knowledge of its internal workings

    If you meet these killer requirements, you need to get with the winners! Stop screwing around in your dead-end job and hook up with the Princes of Production, the Tsars of Teleconferencing, the Viscounts of Video! Do something bad-ass with your life and show us what you’ve got!

    Bi*tch slap boredom and donkey punch depression at Great Northern Video! You’re riding with the big doggs now!!!!



    So what do you think?
    If your state passed new minimum wage laws like mine, how you going to get around it?
    Astigmatic Visionary

  8. #8
    involuntary dismounter
    Reputation: dHarriet's Avatar
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    i think that if you posted that ad you'd be Bi*tch slapped and donkey punched right to the front of the unemployment line!

    can you handle it?!?!?!?!?!?!?
    Solo Trail Explorer and Granny Gear Ninja!


    friends will help you move, good friends will help you move a body...

  9. #9
    Time is not a road.
    Reputation: chad1433's Avatar
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    Run it! Why do jobs always have to be so stuffy? Better than the lying BS my company runs...what a crock.

  10. #10
    fried stuff with cheese
    Reputation: Locotiki's Avatar
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    The print add will be very different than that one. As will the Monster add. However, I may just put it on our website. It's too funny not to. Most of our customer base knows we're a bunch of nuts anyway so it would be more appreciated than looked down on.
    Egg

  11. #11
    on a routine expedition
    Reputation: Marshall Willanholly's Avatar
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    In a similar vein, here's an ad I found a while back.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  12. #12
    PSI
    PSI is offline
    I want that one
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    fire the guy and tell him to get a job as a creative at an ad agency

  13. #13
    fried stuff with cheese
    Reputation: Locotiki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PSI
    fire the guy and tell him to get a job as a creative at an ad agency

    Funny. I'm going to tell him that.
    Egg

  14. #14
    mtbr member
    Reputation: Prof's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkullCrack
    In a similar vein, here's an ad I found a while back.
    Looks familiar somehow !
    Stay off the brakes

  15. #15
    Pixie Dust Addict
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    Dude, that is so extreeeeeme.

    I didn't see you list one of the bennies as all the Mountain Dew you could drink.

  16. #16
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    I don't know if I'd run that add, but I'd sure as heck hang on to the emp that wrote it, if they worked for me!

    (putting it on the website is a great idea -- disguising advertising and marketing as entertainment!)
    The drive towards achievement and success is the motive power of civilization.

  17. #17
    29 some of the time...
    Reputation: AL29er's Avatar
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    I was mildly amused though most of it, but the donkey punch got me laughing. That really pulls it all together. Probably shouldn't run it, more people would be calling to complain of how offensive you are than to apply for the job

  18. #18
    Daniel the Dog
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    Peter North is not a coworker in this job?

    Quote Originally Posted by Locotiki
    OK, maybe this won't be as funny to some as it was for me.
    I asked someone who works for me to write an add for me for a position we are hiring for.
    This is what I got back. Think we should run it?

    Outside Sales – Professional Video Equipment

    Can you handle it?!?!?!

    Blasting off awesomely accurate quotes in a totally timely manner to high-end customers? The nail-biting tension of waiting for days (or even weeks!) wondering if you rocked enough to get that PO? Racing down I-93 to kick it old-school demoing the most radical new equipment in the industry? Facing the competition by going SO LOW that the whole world knows that your prices cannot be beat?

    Can you handle it?!?!?! Seven days a week?!?!?!

    If you think you’re man (or woman, EOE) enough to meet these and other rockin’ challenges on a daily basis, it’s time to bring it. And by “it”, we mean your resume. To Great Northern Video. That’s right, THE Great Northern Video. The undisputed ruler of pro video sales and service in Northern New England.

    Think you’ve got what it takes to join our balls-to-the-wall sales force?!?!?!

    If so, you have:

    • mad organizational skillz
    • attention to detail like you read about
    • a phone manner that says, “I will rock you - and you will thank me for it!”
    • the professional communication ability of a god
    • 3-5 years of demolishing sales experience
    • an inhuman love of the video production industry and a carnal knowledge of its internal workings

    If you meet these killer requirements, you need to get with the winners! Stop screwing around in your dead-end job and hook up with the Princes of Production, the Tsars of Teleconferencing, the Viscounts of Video! Do something bad-ass with your life and show us what you’ve got!

    Bi*tch slap boredom and donkey punch depression at Great Northern Video! You’re riding with the big doggs now!!!!



    So what do you think?
    Hmmm. Better bone up and take a look

    Jaybo

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