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Thread: Who would win?

  1. #1
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    Who would win?

    A drunk and stinky fixie bar hopper at bar time in Chicago, trying to make his way back home?

    or a hot woman riding her SS bike from the local late coffee shop entanglement with her equally hot friends...

    They live in the same building - they're equidistant to their homes but from opposite sides of the city.

    Explain.

  2. #2
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    is the fixie guy on a 700c, 29er or 26er?

    is he already drunk? or just avoiding the temptation of going into bars?

    who has to go through more stoplights? stop signs?

    are the hot women wearing lyrca (less wind resistance...makes you go faster)

    what gearing are they both running?

  3. #3
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    heh... too many variables... but level of drunkeness aside, I always ride faster solo, and always faster on a fixie than a SS. Without additional info, my bet is on the bar hopper.

  4. #4
    I H8 cigarettes...
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    If Ernesto ran for presidente... I'd vote for him, at least twice.
    One is enough...

  5. #5
    achiever
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    is the stinky fixie rider going home to yer mom?

  6. #6
    Off the back...
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    Tough call. If there are hills, my money is on the latte-fuelled chicas. When I'm drunk and stinky, I weave slowly up the hills and sometimes have to rest at the top. On the flats, I'm spinning that 48x16. Awwww yeah...
    @pinkrobeyyc
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  7. #7
    is buachail foighneach me
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    the hipster, because the hot woman and her friends are stopping at my place on the way home.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by nomit
    is the fixie guy on a 700c, 29er or 26er?

    An old Peugeot with itty bitty handlebars

    is he already drunk? or just avoiding the temptation of going into bars?

    he's wasted and won't remember most of the night

    who has to go through more stoplights? stop signs?

    he'll fubar stop signs, evading cars, cabbies, pedestrians

    are the hot women wearing lyrca (less wind resistance...makes you go faster)

    no, just fashionable hotties with tight jeans

    what gearing are they both running?
    he's on 53/16 because he think's he as badass as his new tattoo

    she's at a comfortable 40/18

  9. #9
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Stinky and drunk hipster. The lady, returning from a social outing, probably isn't dressed to kill out PRs, even if she was willing to get sweaty, but she's not, so she delectably cruises home, stopping at Salach's on the way back to say he is a Chauvinist, which may or may not turn out well for him (though I'm going to fall back on the sweaty argument).

    The hipster only needs to stay between the parameters of mostly four lane roads and not get hit by cars, which he likely manages, or hipsters would have died out a couple years ago due to natural selection. Given that he also already smells like heinous ass, he really lays on it, ignores the pain from the Brooks saddle that will never fully get broken in and kills the ride home at a gnarly 12mph.

  10. #10
    is buachail foighneach me
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    i got a shower she can use if she's sweaty. full service.

  11. #11
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    The fixie

    Everyone knows tattoo's make you faster.

  12. #12
    kabouterclan member
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    Chuck Norris would win.
    Sent from my HAL 9000

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by ernesto_from_Wisconsin
    a hot woman riding her SS bike from the local late coffee shop entanglement with her equally hot friends...

    What assurance do I have that this is not actually Gary Fisher in drag?
    aLaN AT BikeMojo DOT com

  14. #14
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    Gf

    Quote Originally Posted by BikeMojo
    What assurance do I have that this is not actually Gary Fisher in drag?
    GF is afraid of Chicago. Last time I saw him at Trek, he asked me if Godzilla was still around. I told him he moved to Chicago - Gary started to sob like a man who spilled his Crown Royal.

  15. #15
    thread killer
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikeMojo
    What assurance do I have that this is not actually Gary Fisher in drag?

    ha ha. it might be
    next time

    [QUOTE=spazzy] Might as well sell your bikes, E-riding is much more productive.

  16. #16
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Quote Originally Posted by ernesto_from_Wisconsin
    GF is afraid of Chicago. Last time I saw him at Trek, he asked me if Godzilla was still around. I told him he moved to Chicago - Gary started to sob like a man who spilled his Crown Royal.
    Provoking the second conundrum; does a man drink Crown Royal?

  17. #17
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    Is this a trick question?(maybe the right answer gets a free eno freewheel from the Ernesto himself).
    Everybody knows the hot woman would win because the drunk and hipster would never leave the bars.......the hottie would leave the espresso bar to get back to......well you know how coffee works on your bladder.........and then go back out again for another latte...........unless she stops at Sean's house

  18. #18
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cactus Jack
    Is this a trick question?(maybe the right answer gets a free eno freewheel from the Ernesto himself).
    Everybody knows the hot woman would win because the drunk and hipster would never leave the bars.......the hottie would leave the espresso bar to get back to......well you know how coffee works on your bladder.........and then go back out again for another latte...........unless she stops at Sean's house
    You just introduced the idea of golden showers. I'm imagining Sean Salach's bachelor's pad covered in tarps.

  19. #19
    Off the back...
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    Whoa! Nobody told me she was stopping at Salach's! I've got to totally revise my estimate...
    @pinkrobeyyc
    #pinkrobeyyc

  20. #20
    is buachail foighneach me
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    i've gotta go buy a mop....

  21. #21
    Got Mojo?
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    Make no little plans...

    Quote Originally Posted by ernesto_from_Wisconsin
    GF is afraid of Chicago. Last time I saw him at Trek, he asked me if Godzilla was still around. I told him he moved to Chicago - Gary started to sob like a man who spilled his Crown Royal.

    The CC&TB should be notified. They may want to use that info to update their website...

    Perhaps something simple like, Visit Chicago with no worries of seeing Gary Fisher.
    aLaN AT BikeMojo DOT com

  22. #22
    SSolo, on your left!
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    Quote Originally Posted by umarth
    Stinky and drunk hipster. The lady, returning from a social outing, probably isn't dressed to kill out PRs, even if she was willing to get sweaty, but she's not, so she delectably cruises home, stopping at Salach's on the way back to say he is a Chauvinist, which may or may not turn out well for him (though I'm going to fall back on the sweaty argument).

    The hipster only needs to stay between the parameters of mostly four lane roads and not get hit by cars, which he likely manages, or hipsters would have died out a couple years ago due to natural selection. Given that he also already smells like heinous ass, he really lays on it, ignores the pain from the Brooks saddle that will never fully get broken in and kills the ride home at a gnarly 12mph.
    X2...................................the hipster on his fixie will win!

    Quote Originally Posted by BikeMojo
    What assurance do I have that this is not actually Gary Fisher in drag?
    Bwaahahahaha....rotflmfao!

    Quote Originally Posted by umarth
    Provoking the second conundrum; does a man drink Crown Royal?
    Lol and NO.
    Get off the couch and ride!

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ernesto_from_Wisconsin
    A drunk and stinky fixie bar hopper at bar time in Chicago, trying to make his way back home?

    or a hot woman riding her SS bike from the local late coffee shop entanglement with her equally hot friends...

    They live in the same building - they're equidistant to their homes but from opposite sides of the city.

    Explain.
    I don't care how the middle part of the story goes, but any thread titled 'Who would win?'.... the answer could only be.....



    Chuck Norris

  24. #24
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    I saw a hipster walking his bike yesterday in Chicago - i thought they had magic abilities where their tires never went flat.

    I saw plenty of pretty womens riding bikes too.

  25. #25
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    the moral to this story is.....Danny Trejo

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~gomez~
    the moral to this story is.....Danny Trejo
    Danny Trejo would make his way home - holing and drinking out of a tequila bottle. Stopping to make out with hotties, and then going home to pass out for a couple of weeks - then he would go to the market and eat tacos.

  27. #27
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    mmmm tacos
    If steel is real then aluminium is supercallafragiliniun!

  28. #28
    Frt Range, CO
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    Depends on how big her rack is.....

  29. #29
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    If there is a god, the hipster will be hit by a truck on his way home.

  30. #30
    Forgiven
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    The hot woman. Traffic stands still for a hot woman...

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