For all you Gnome afficianados, from the ever reliable Weekly World News:
Tiny, bearded terrorists from the Middle East are infiltrating the United States -- disguised as garden gnomes.
"These guys are typical Al Qaeda operatives," says a top CIA source, "with beards down to their belt buckles and a burning hatred for all things American.
"But they are tiny and are being shipped into this country disguised as garden gnomes. A suicide gnome may be small, but he can still strap on a lot of explosives, walk into a crowded mall and . . . BOOM!"
The terrorist gnomes are the result of a genetic breeding program that began in the early 1970s, a joint effort of Libya, Iraq and Iran with Chinese medical advisers.
It was Iraqi tyrant Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda mastermind Osama Bin Laden who first realized that garden gnomes stood in the front yards of millions of homes in the U.S.
"So what better cover for a terrorist than to pose as a harmless gnome until the time comes to strike?" the CIA source asks. "You can pass a garden gnome hundreds of times and never suspect that a human heart beating with hate lies within."
To read more of Tiny Terrorists Disguised As Garden Gnomes, pick up the current Newsstand Issue on sale now!
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