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  1. #1
    Retro Grouch
    Reputation: aka brad's Avatar
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    Caution;  Merge;  Workers Ahead! Dumb a$$ bike thief..

    What do you do when you're a 15 year old bike theif, high on Vicodin and you see a bike you want to steal, but realize you forgot your bolt cutters? Well you disassemble the bike on the porch where its locked, switch out the wheel set and make your escape. Fortunately, due to a good sumaritan on a cel phone and a police officer that actually knows bikes, he didn't get away. Police Officer (we'll call him JR) stops the bike thief and notices he has a Marzocchi MX Comp fork, a Koski handle bar with Deore brake handles, lines and calipers still attached, in his backpack. He also notices his rear wheel is disc specific but his bike has rear V brakes; Hmmmm.

    Anyway the kid goes to the Hall and we call mom. Mom can't believe her son has done anything wrong (BTW this all happened at 4 AM and we arrested the same kid 8 times last year) and swears all the components he was carrying in his back pack belonged to him! In Law Enforcement we call this job security; kudos to JR.

    1G1G, Brad
    Last edited by aka brad; 01-03-2005 at 02:27 PM.

  2. #2
    Jabberwocky Jockey
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    Never underestimate the power of stupid.
    Calling out from the Land of the Riding Hillbilly.


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  3. #3
    Am I getting too bulky?
    Reputation: Bikehigh's Avatar
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    I guess mom likes caughing up money to her lawyer every time the punk gets his dumb ass arrested.
    I gotta roll, can't stand still, got a flame in my heart, can't get my fill.

  4. #4
    "Mr. Britannica"
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    sounds like a dumbass mom, too

  5. #5
    The name's Norm...
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    I can hear it now....

    Quote Originally Posted by roadiegonebad
    sounds like a dumbass mom, too
    "My boy wouldn't do anything like that!"
    or
    "It can't be him, he was in his bedroom ALL NIGHT!!"

    **Amazing**

  6. #6
    mtbr member
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    I'm all for physical punishment in cases like this. The Middle East answer may be a bit harsh (a thief has a hand cut off), but caning in Singapore would fit the bill! Nothing like taking lashes across the bum until you nearly pass out from the pain to make you think twice about breaking the law.

    http://www.corpun.com/singfeat.htm

  7. #7
    mtbr member
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    Hmmm

    What do you call the owner who didn't lock his frame?

  8. #8
    i worship Mr T
    Reputation: *rt*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aka brad
    In Law Enforcement we call this job security; kudos to JR.
    in social work it's called 'candidate for foster care'.

    rt
    [SIZE="2"]"where are you not going so fast?" (question asked to cyclist on a trainer)[/SIZE]

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  9. #9
    Don't be a sheep
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    Ahhh, the liberal tenant of never blaming the perpatraitor.

    I can hear it now, Liberal lawyer " my client was coersed into stealing that bicycle because the victim left the frame unlocked on his porch."
    "Do not touch the trim"

  10. #10
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    Upset

    Quote Originally Posted by aka brad
    What do you do when you're a 15 year old bike theif, high on Vicodin and you see a bike you want to steal, but realize you forgot you bolt cutters? Well you disassemble the bike on the porch were its locked, switch out the wheel set and make your escape. Fortunately, due to a good sumaritan on a cel phone and a police officer that actually knows bikes, he didn't get away. Police Officer (we'll call him JR) stops the bike thief and notices he has a Marzocchi MX Comp fork, a Koski handle bar with Deore brake handles, lines and calipers still attached, in his backpack. He also notices his rear wheel is disc specific but his bike has rear V brakes; Hmmmm.

    Anyway the kid goes to the Hall and we call mom. Mom can't believe her son has done anything wrong (BTW this all happened at 4 AM and we arrested the same kid 8 times last year) and swears all the components he was carrying in his back pack belonged to him! In Law Enforcement we call this job security; kudos to JR.

    1G1G, Brad
    The thief's in santa cruz get dumber and dumber. Every I see soo many franken bikes that the theifs make, it makes me sick. I wish we could catch them all....bastards!

  11. #11
    Retro Grouch
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    Actually the frame was locked to the porch..

    Quote Originally Posted by pacman
    What do you call the owner who didn't lock his frame?
    ...that's why he took the parts off instead of stealing it .

    1G1G, Brad

  12. #12
    Old Bikes Suck!
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    oooh, ooooooh! i have a story too. this one has even better justice.

    my teamate left his bike in the open garage for a sec while he made a sandwich. in this time a thief grabbed the bike and headed down the very, very, very steep hill. OK, heres the best part.... the brakes were not hooked up! the theif did a pile driver into the side of a parked car at about 40mph!

    my home boy went out to finish hooking his brakes up and discover the bike missing. he ran out and looked down the street to see this guy smeared across the side of a car. called the police and the guy was taken away in an ambulance and still un-concious.

    the best part is the frame and fork were not damaged. it got some scratches and wrecked the brake levers and shifters. hell, i'd allow my brakes and shifters to be busted up if it meant a thief would get busted up worse.

    BTW. shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....this is on the DL...... my buddies are making a bait bike. its a warrantied frame with a crack. they are making the crack worse and putting tape over it. when it fails the whole headtube is coming off. also there will be tacks in the saddle, the brakes opperate the shifters and the rear derailleur opperates the front brake...but when the front brakes is set up to go into the front spokes. the bike will be locked at a mall in LA. whoever tries to get will half to bust the lock before the E-ticket ride. shhhhhhhh.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [SIZE=2]
    VDUBBUSRIDER
    San Diego, CA
    [/SIZE]

    [SIZE=2]
    Keyesville Vintage Mountain bike race!
    http://www.ssfta.com/vintage-race.html
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2]
    [SIZE=3]Anybody selling a Cook Bros. mtn stem? How about a blue Chris King Theaded headset? [/SIZE]
    [/SIZE]

  13. #13
    Don't be a sheep
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    That's the coolest thing I've read in a while.

    Quote Originally Posted by vdubbusrider
    oooh, ooooooh! i have a story too. this one has even better justice.

    my teamate left his bike in the open garage for a sec while he made a sandwich. in this time a thief grabbed the bike and headed down the very, very, very steep hill. OK, heres the best part.... the brakes were not hooked up! the theif did a pile driver into the side of a parked car at about 40mph!

    my home boy went out to finish hooking his brakes up and discover the bike missing. he ran out and looked down the street to see this guy smeared across the side of a car. called the police and the guy was taken away in an ambulance and still un-concious.

    the best part is the frame and fork were not damaged. it got some scratches and wrecked the brake levers and shifters. hell, i'd allow my brakes and shifters to be busted up if it meant a thief would get busted up worse.

    BTW. shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....this is on the DL...... my buddies are making a bait bike. its a warrantied frame with a crack. they are making the crack worse and putting tape over it. when it fails the whole headtube is coming off. also there will be tacks in the saddle, the brakes opperate the shifters and the rear derailleur opperates the front brake...but when the front brakes is set up to go into the front spokes. the bike will be locked at a mall in LA. whoever tries to get will half to bust the lock before the E-ticket ride. shhhhhhhh.

    Man I'd love to see the face of the person who steals that next bike as he supermans over the bars, priceless.
    "Do not touch the trim"

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by vdubbusrider
    oooh, ooooooh! i have a story too. this one has even better justice.

    my teamate left his bike in the open garage for a sec while he made a sandwich. in this time a thief grabbed the bike and headed down the very, very, very steep hill. OK, heres the best part.... the brakes were not hooked up! the theif did a pile driver into the side of a parked car at about 40mph!

    my home boy went out to finish hooking his brakes up and discover the bike missing. he ran out and looked down the street to see this guy smeared across the side of a car. called the police and the guy was taken away in an ambulance and still un-concious.

    the best part is the frame and fork were not damaged. it got some scratches and wrecked the brake levers and shifters. hell, i'd allow my brakes and shifters to be busted up if it meant a thief would get busted up worse.

    BTW. shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....this is on the DL...... my buddies are making a bait bike. its a warrantied frame with a crack. they are making the crack worse and putting tape over it. when it fails the whole headtube is coming off. also there will be tacks in the saddle, the brakes opperate the shifters and the rear derailleur opperates the front brake...but when the front brakes is set up to go into the front spokes. the bike will be locked at a mall in LA. whoever tries to get will half to bust the lock before the E-ticket ride. shhhhhhhh.
    Better keep it on the way dl because man trapping or booby trapping is a felony in most states. I looked into back when I was considering putting a hidden tazer in my nukey back in 95

  15. #15
    "Mr. Britannica"
    Reputation: roadiegonebad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vdubbusrider
    oooh, ooooooh! i have a story too. this one has even better justice.

    my teamate left his bike in the open garage for a sec while he made a sandwich. in this time a thief grabbed the bike and headed down the very, very, very steep hill. OK, heres the best part.... the brakes were not hooked up! the theif did a pile driver into the side of a parked car at about 40mph!

    my home boy went out to finish hooking his brakes up and discover the bike missing. he ran out and looked down the street to see this guy smeared across the side of a car. called the police and the guy was taken away in an ambulance and still un-concious.

    the best part is the frame and fork were not damaged. it got some scratches and wrecked the brake levers and shifters. hell, i'd allow my brakes and shifters to be busted up if it meant a thief would get busted up worse.

    BTW. shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....this is on the DL...... my buddies are making a bait bike. its a warrantied frame with a crack. they are making the crack worse and putting tape over it. when it fails the whole headtube is coming off. also there will be tacks in the saddle, the brakes opperate the shifters and the rear derailleur opperates the front brake...but when the front brakes is set up to go into the front spokes. the bike will be locked at a mall in LA. whoever tries to get will half to bust the lock before the E-ticket ride. shhhhhhhh.

    AWESOME

  16. #16
    Old Bikes Suck!
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    Quote Originally Posted by lucifer
    Better keep it on the way dl because man trapping or booby trapping is a felony in most states. I looked into back when I was considering putting a hidden tazer in my nukey back in 95
    heck, im not even a part of it. i live in san diego and they are in LA. but i surely agree with what they are doing.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [SIZE=2]
    VDUBBUSRIDER
    San Diego, CA
    [/SIZE]

    [SIZE=2]
    Keyesville Vintage Mountain bike race!
    http://www.ssfta.com/vintage-race.html
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=2]
    [SIZE=3]Anybody selling a Cook Bros. mtn stem? How about a blue Chris King Theaded headset? [/SIZE]
    [/SIZE]

  17. #17
    Lawyer Time! No Comment.
    Reputation: flyingsuperpetis's Avatar
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    tenet, perpetrator, coerced...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rivet
    Ahhh, the liberal tenant of never blaming the perpatraitor.

    I can hear it now, Liberal lawyer " my client was coersed into stealing that bicycle because the victim left the frame unlocked on his porch."
    If you honestly believe contrived legal defenses are limited to one political leaning or another, you've been sold a religion.

    Spellcheck & grammar tools will go a long way when trying to appear more intelligent than you really are.
    Nothing left to lose, & half mad.

  18. #18
    mtbr member
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    Quote Originally Posted by flyingsuperpetis
    If you honestly believe contrived legal defenses are limited to one political leaning or another, you've been sold a religion.

    Spellcheck & grammar tools will go a long way when trying to appear more intelligent than you really are.
    Now now...statistically, more lawyers are liberal leaning than not. Ironically, most of my pre-law classmates were die-hards. Why do I respond to this crap!!! I hate debating this stuff.

  19. #19
    Squalor
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    Missed the boat...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lloyd395
    Now now...statistically, more lawyers are liberal leaning than not. Ironically, most of my pre-law classmates were die-hards. Why do I respond to this crap!!! I hate debating this stuff.
    I think the point was that a particular defense has little or nothing to do with the political affiliation of the lawyer in question, but rather what side of the podium she is sitting on...

    I also hate debating this stuff.

    LP

  20. #20
    Evil Genius
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    That kind of thing is Lex Luthor, baby....EVIL GENIUS!!

    D
    I'm as bad as the Worst. But, thank God, I'm also as good as the Best.

  21. #21
    Recovering couch patato
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    Lock the bike somewhere you can aim a webcam at it, otherwise it's no sense at all.

    Personally I think you overdid it, the thief may even toss the bike before he gets properly rewarded for his efforts.

    Use an H-lock, the ballpoint key type.
    Klok - XC - Skate - Ski

  22. #22
    Steamroller
    Reputation: Mattman's Avatar
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    great except.....

    Quote Originally Posted by vdubbusrider
    BTW. shhhhhhhhhhhhh.....this is on the DL...... my buddies are making a bait bike. its a warrantied frame with a crack. they are making the crack worse and putting tape over it. when it fails the whole headtube is coming off. also there will be tacks in the saddle, the brakes opperate the shifters and the rear derailleur opperates the front brake...but when the front brakes is set up to go into the front spokes. the bike will be locked at a mall in LA. whoever tries to get will half to bust the lock before the E-ticket ride. shhhhhhhh.
    This is great fun to consider but, this is LA you're talking about, people have been sued silly for much less than intentionally rigging a bike to potentially seriously injure it's thief. Maybe "they" should make it a bit less obvious.

    If you are going to be blatant, instead of tacks, rig the seat so that the seat and the @ss on it slide right on down the post (picture preparing shish kabobs).

    Of course some people might like the feeling of that kind of thing

    [SIZE=1]Disclaimer: I'm joking, do not do this, if you do, you did not get the idea on this website or from me [/SIZE]
    Last edited by Mattman; 01-04-2005 at 12:29 AM.
    [SIZE=2]Two Wheeled and Too Big[/SIZE]

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