Many moons ago someone a lot smarter than me said something along the lines of, "There can be too much of a good thing".
Taking that statement literally and pondering a bit, I came to a few quick caveats.
Powder skiing?
Bacon?
While I'd like to write that I immediately rattled off countless other exceptions to that "rule", the reality is that once I had pork on the brain, salivation and obsession quickly followed. Can a guy actually have too much bacon?
Unpossible.
Or so I theorized. Which quickly morphed into a need to test the theory. And it didn't take long to find the means to do so.
I didn't come up with any other exceptions on the ride to the market, but I *did* get there PDQ.
(To my dear, dear non-meat eating friends that find themselves sickly fascinated but afraid to read further: Click HERE).
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You've been given ample warning.
Back at the ranch, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.
Take 12 strips and weave 'em.
Baste liberally.
How much? 'Bout that much.
Unwad 2 (yep, two) pounds of sausage and cover your weave.
Meanwhile, sizzle up another pound in the background.
Once that pound is done to taste, chop it up and cover the sausage, then roll the whole slithery beautious mess up.
Delicately place this priceless gem onto the grill. Ovens can be used in a pinch, and a smoker is purported to be the best way. Run what ya brung.
Common practice with this critter is a BBQ theme. I'm not much of a BBQ fan. Never have been. Friends afflicted with a BBQ problem have suggested that I just haven't had good BBQ yet. Following that rationale, I haven't had good saddle sores yet either, but I've had enough of both to have formed an opinion.
Anyhoo, I punted the BBQ theme and used maple syrup to baste the outside of the weave.
That 4" thick slab o' lean, juicy flesh takes awhile to cook through. Get some other stuff done while you wait.
Check in on occasion, noting the sumptuous sizzling.
After three hours at 225*, I couldn't wait anymore.
Ahem. I mean after three hours IT WAS DONE!
When I started the project Herself showed little interest, tossing her hair and sauntering away muttering something like "Men... sheesh...". Curiously, she reappeared at the Ultimate Moment.
Herself, not being afflicted with the chronic quite the way I am, savored a few quick forkfuls, emitted some perfunctory yummy noises, then walked away. Just like that--she walked away. Impressive.
I stuck with it. The superdeliciousness of it is, of course, completely indescribable. After about 3/4 of a pound I felt *zero* need nor desire to stop eating. If anything I wanted to eat more, faster. In fact, I'm 100% sure that I could, without hesitation, guilt, or even a second thought, easily polish off the whole thing.
Ah... Bacon Explosion! That's a beautimous hunk of tastiness right there...... and oh so wrong. But that wouldn't stop me from eating it.
Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolop of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.
The just reward for those who are willing to burn thousands of calories mountain biking.
My bro-in-law has an idea for something of similar proportions...a hot/sweet sausage wrapped in bacon, dipped in pancake batter, then deep fried. I just might have to give that a try someday.
For an awesome bacon quickie, try this... Bacon and peanut butter on your choice of toast. I prefer rye. Totally awesome sandwich, yet doesn't hold a candle to that woven thing. That's totally badass.
Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolip of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.
Sooo... tell me more about the brownies. I followed the link, didn't go to a recipe.
Give up the goods, man!
Ah... Bacon Explosion! That's a beautimous hunk of tastiness right there...... and oh so wrong. But that wouldn't stop me from eating it.
Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolip of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.
The just reward for those who are willing to burn thousands of calories mountain biking.
Brownie recipe needed ASAP. I am sick, and only Presecription Strength brownies can heal me!
__________________
Day man
Fighter of the Night man
Champion of the sun
You’re a master of karate and friendship…for everyone
I have been 'explosion-curious' since I first laid eyes on a pic of one.
I am wondering if you think it would be possible to slice the finished product into slabs or patties fit to assemble a bacon explosion, lettuce, tomato and avocado sandwich?
Its BACON!!!
I crashed near dawn in a 24hrWVa race back a few years because i came near the camp area-and someone was cookin' up BACON! I was rubberneckin' trying to find out where-my lap was almost over.I never got my slice! BACON is always spelled in all caps-it is devine! I must try this new happymeal!
Bz
I'd forgotten about these. Like the chupacabra, this lurks in the back of my mind until a reported sighting. If I hadn''t already laid in a Smithfield ham, this would mos def be my contribution to Thanksgiving.
[drools]
__________________
"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."
- Dr. Peter Venkman
For an awesome bacon quickie, try this... Bacon and peanut butter on your choice of toast. I prefer rye. Totally awesome sandwich, yet doesn't hold a candle to that woven thing. That's totally badass.
Actually White bread toasted with Peanut Butter and Jelly with Bacon!!!!!!!!!!! Yummy
__________________
2009 Titus FTM upgrades:
Stan's ARCH wheelset w/ ZTR Hubs
XT 11-34 Cassette
Sram PC 89r Chain
ESI Grips
SLX Cranks
Sooo... tell me more about the brownies. I followed the link, didn't go to a recipe.
Give up the goods, man!
Los
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasquatch
Brownie recipe needed ASAP. I am sick, and only Presecription Strength brownies can heal me!
LOL. That was kinda cruel to bring them up but not post a pic or recipe. Sorry. I'd just polished off a dish-full last night when I posted that so they were on my mind.... but was too lazy to copy the recipe over into the post. I'll get it up when I get home for lunch unless I can find it on Delaney's blog.
That is plain torture for a guy who can't eat pork for two months straight.... I don't care the lack of beer, lackanooky and isolation. But I do really miss pork, bacon in particular.
Yet another reason to skip turkey for thanksgiving meal!
Also, firch, your link is awesome on a smaller scale.
And to keep this on track, how much riding is required to burn off something like this?
I am wondering if you think it would be possible to slice the finished product into slabs or patties fit to assemble a bacon explosion, lettuce, tomato and avocado sandwich?
Most definitely. When you're in the 'assembly phase' you just need to pay close attention to the weave and to making sure that as you roll it up, you keep things *tight*. Being a first effort, I didn't do that well on either, but it's still sliceable into ~1/2" slabs.
I risk getting kicked off the internet permanently for saying this, but I can stand a strip, maybe two, of bacon once in awhile. I couldn't even take a bite of that monstrosity.
__________________ Now go home and get your ******* shinebox.
Not being rude, but you Americans wouldnt know goo dbacon if it bit you on the butt......
Looks pretty tasty, but with any bacon that isnt American.... America has many many great things, but bacon isnt one of them....
I'm devoting my life to obtaining one more slab of the gypsy bacon some Czech friends turned me on to. You don't even have to fry it, just slice off a hunk. Beautiful smoky black chunk of heaven. Worse than smack.
Incredibly gross. You must have a shed hanging over your equipment.
Ha ha.. yeah he's a big ol' fatty.
"......has won and set course records at some of the world's most demanding mountain bike races, most of which he started and still directs. He has won the 1,100-mile Iditabike from Alaska's Knik to Nome two times. He has twice won the 142-mile Kokopelli Race from Fruita to Moab, not including a 2005 second-place finish on a single-speed ride. In 2004, he scorched the inaugural and mind-bogglingly lengthy Great Divide Race - his own creation - pedaling 2,500 mostly off-road miles completely self-supported in 16 days, 57 minutes."
If so, thanks for making it look like a speed bump. I Just rode that section for the first time Sunday and was all psyched. You did it at about 15mph. I quit!
I'm devoting my life to obtaining one more slab of the gypsy bacon some Czech friends turned me on to. You don't even have to fry it, just slice off a hunk. Beautiful smoky black chunk of heaven. Worse than smack.
So what do you know about bacon?
What do I know about bacon? to be honest, F All. But I have travelled the world and can confirm that the bacon in the US of A is SHITE..... It has no meat to it for want of a better word, just a thin piece of nothing if that makes sense.... I think the folk from the US of A understand that Canadian bacon is different to the US of A bacon... Well in New Zealand it is way way better than Canadian bacon also.....
What do I know about bacon? to be honest, F All. But I have travelled the world and can confirm that the bacon in the US of A is SHITE..... It has no meat to it for want of a better word, just a thin piece of nothing if that makes sense.... I think the folk from the US of A understand that Canadian bacon is different to the US of A bacon... Well in New Zealand it is way way better than Canadian bacon also.....
Thought Canadian Bacon was just Ham.
__________________
2009 Titus FTM upgrades:
Stan's ARCH wheelset w/ ZTR Hubs
XT 11-34 Cassette
Sram PC 89r Chain
ESI Grips
SLX Cranks
Finally, a recipe I can use............you've just given me a much needed side dish recipe for Thanksgiving..........no green bean casserole this year.................
Hey Mike, you could have used turkey bacon to be more health conscious.............
[quote=Whafe]What do I know about bacon? to be honest, F All. But I have travelled the world and can confirm that the bacon in the US of A is SHITE..... It has no meat to it for want of a better word, just a thin piece of nothing if that makes sense.... I think the folk from the US of A understand that Canadian bacon is different to the US of A bacon... Well in New Zealand it is way way better than Canadian bacon also.....
Quote:
Canadian bacon... come on, it's barely bacon, more like ham really.
Incredible creation, artful and decadent. Bonus for the maple syrup. Grew up in VT, learned to put it on everything, even do syrup shots occasionally. (8 seconds in microwave, try it)
I tried to explore the limits of too much powder skiing years ago and while I never have heli-skied, I've gotten up the hill every other way and while I've had some days and weeks that were the snow equivalent of your woven bacon delight roll, I have never come close to wanting to stop.
So I would have to say that there is no such thing as too much powder skiing. But don't take my work for it, try it for yourself.
I'll be sampling my first Turducken this Thanksgiving. My wife initially refused, but I finally won her over with one from Cajungrocer.com. It's got cornbread and crawfish stuffing. I am such a redneck.
amen to that! maple on meat is one of the reasons I boil up 8-12 gallons every spring with the parents. "anyhoo".....maple definitely beats BBQ on ham, bacon, or sausage.
and props to the OP on the narrative...I had tears running, I was laughing so hard.
I can't stomach much greasy food. Maybe a couple bites, 5 or 6 tops. Also, other than scrambled eggs and boiling the occasional roast I don't cook. But I commend your fortitude in creating and consuming this culinary abomination.
Not to derail this wonderfull all-meat post but here's the recipe for Delaney's Prescription Strength Brownies that a few were asking about. All I had was a hand-written copy from my son that I was having a hard time deciphering so bake at your own risk.
Prescription Strength Brownies
12 Tbsp unsalted butter (something not sure what.....melted maybe)
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups (something) sugar
1/4 tsp salt
2 large eggs
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
3/4 cup flower
1/2 cup something.... topping, I think, which was chocolate chips and pecans.
Grease a 8" pyrex glass baking pan with butter.
Remove melted butter from heat, add cocoa powder and wisk until smooth.
Add sugar and salt then wisk
Add eggs one at a time wisking after each egg
Add vanilla
Sprinkle flour over chocolate mixture and stir
Put in baking dish and top with chocolate chips and nuts (I think it must be a half cup each).
Bake 32 minutes on 350
Cool on rack.
They are amazing plain but with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge they are life-altering.
Mike, that looks amazing - I am a BBQ fan but I think the maple syrup is a better substitution...hmmm I have a sister that is a vegetarian, I bet I would get stuck with a carving knife if I bring this to Thanksgiving dinner.
As for turducken, I made one last year. It was wonderful but make sure you cook it low and slow - it takes forever. Krob, I had heard of those brownies once before; here is a link with the full recipe.
As for turducken, I made one last year. It was wonderful but make sure you cook it low and slow - it takes forever. here is a link with the full recipe.
Mike, that's beautiful.
And since CD brought up turducken, allow me to bring a turducken wrapped in 5lbs of bacon to your attention:
Actually, I had coffee with, among other things, a small dollop of butter added years ago at some coffee house in central NJ. might have been the inkwell. Friggen delicious.
small lump of peasant cheese in the bottom of hot chocolate, cheese absorbs excess cocao and is semi-melty when you're done.
(peasant cheese = any number of semi-hard cheeses that're mostly bland and hence don't mess with the flavour of your cocao, monterey jack, mozzarella, that kinda thing)
we're not worthy!! that woven-bacon sausage log is beautiful!!
__________________
@DC
I'd like to see *you* stick your thumb up your butt--just to see how long it takes you to suffocate.
Many moons ago someone a lot smarter than me said something along the lines of, "There can be too much of a good thing".
Taking that statement literally and pondering a bit, I came to a few quick caveats.
Powder skiing?
Bacon?
While I'd like to write that I immediately rattled off countless other exceptions to that "rule", the reality is that once I had pork on the brain, salivation and obsession quickly followed. Can a guy actually have too much bacon?
Unpossible.
Or so I theorized. Which quickly morphed into a need to test the theory. And it didn't take long to find the means to do so.
I didn't come up with any other exceptions on the ride to the market, but I *did* get there PDQ.
(To my dear, dear non-meat eating friends that find themselves sickly fascinated but afraid to read further: Click HERE).
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You've been given ample warning.
Back at the ranch, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.
Take 12 strips and weave 'em.
Baste liberally.
How much? 'Bout that much.
Unwad 2 (yep, two) pounds of sausage and cover your weave.
Meanwhile, sizzle up another pound in the background.
Once that pound is done to taste, chop it up and cover the sausage, then roll the whole slithery beautious mess up.
Delicately place this priceless gem onto the grill. Ovens can be used in a pinch, and a smoker is purported to be the best way. Run what ya brung.
Common practice with this critter is a BBQ theme. I'm not much of a BBQ fan. Never have been. Friends afflicted with a BBQ problem have suggested that I just haven't had good BBQ yet. Following that rationale, I haven't had good saddle sores yet either, but I've had enough of both to have formed an opinion.
Anyhoo, I punted the BBQ theme and used maple syrup to baste the outside of the weave.
That 4" thick slab o' lean, juicy flesh takes awhile to cook through. Get some other stuff done while you wait.
Check in on occasion, noting the sumptuous sizzling.
After three hours at 225*, I couldn't wait anymore.
Ahem. I mean after three hours IT WAS DONE!
When I started the project Herself showed little interest, tossing her hair and sauntering away muttering something like "Men... sheesh...". Curiously, she reappeared at the Ultimate Moment.
Herself, not being afflicted with the chronic quite the way I am, savored a few quick forkfuls, emitted some perfunctory yummy noises, then walked away. Just like that--she walked away. Impressive.
I stuck with it. The superdeliciousness of it is, of course, completely indescribable. After about 3/4 of a pound I felt *zero* need nor desire to stop eating. If anything I wanted to eat more, faster. In fact, I'm 100% sure that I could, without hesitation, guilt, or even a second thought, easily polish off the whole thing.
Completely confirming my original theory.
MC
my god man...that is great! iam a kosher chef iam going to try to slip this thing on the weekly menu see how that goes over.
Baconliscious
Worse than smack.
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