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  1. #76
    Biker for Life
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    last week i was cleaning mny bike and i took my seat post out to wipe it off and adjust my seat. well i went to ride it without my seat and i wasnt used to that and when i went to sit down guess where i sat....thats right i ended up bruising my tail bone
    afk irl

  2. #77
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    One day while wrenching on a customers Tandem I somehow got my finger stuck between the timing ring and chain. That f'n hurt. Nothing to do but finish the revolution and wash the grease out. Around the same era (12 years ago) I was out jumping my 24 inch cruiser and the handlebars spun forward on the landing. When the dust cleared my arm was past the elbow between the front wheel and the fork leg. With no tools around to pull the front wheel we simply (with a great deal of force) rotated the tire and out came the bloody skinned arm. Oh yeah, one time while doing some trials I pinned the head of my schlong between the stem and my fat ass. I now know what it feel like to have a period, for 2 weeks That one was the worst, it burned like a ***** every time I had to piss.

  3. #78
    When in doubt, go faster
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    Was up in shasta on one of the fire roads that leads from the ski park hiway down to McLoud and I took a turn too fast too sharp. there was even a banked turn on the outside corner. Anyways i went over, I was riding too hi and being on an AX Trail bike that'll realy screw you over doing fast downhill turns. Only rocky spot on the trail. Ended up with a tweeked knee (OUCH, but no that bad) and a few gashes on my knee that probly shoulda been stiched (stiches are for sissys tho!). Also had a gnarley one on my right forearm that was bleeding pretty badly. BoyScout knowlage comes in handy tho, stopped the bleading like within 5 seconds. Had to ride back with two open wounds, had no first aid stuff, and no one was with me.

  4. #79
    Hairy man
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardtails Are Better
    Those goddam "clets" didn't help either, I'm sure.
    My girlfriend loves it when I ride her clet.
    We all get it in the end.

  5. #80
    When in doubt, go faster
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    How immature.

  6. #81
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    I live in Vancouver and just recently started riding the North Shore, one of the top mountain biking locations in the world. I got into it expecting I might eventually hurt myself, but my first (and only so far) injury has been: a broken nail. I went for a ride and couldn't find my full fingered gloves, so I wore my cut fingers. 10 seconds into the ride, i hit the brakes, my hand slips, and I tore half the nail off my thumb. It had gotten caught on the shifter or something. That was seven months ago and my worst injury yet.

  7. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffscott
    Frozen dick, riding at -25 C. Danced around the living room for oh 25 mins.
    Warm shower was way to painful.

    Wear wind tight pants.
    Oh yeah... done that. Holy mother, it hurts.

  8. #83
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    I was riding home from work this may ,it was raining. I stopped at a set of railroad tracks to let some autos go by.When I started across the tracks my front tire got in between the rails and my front tire washed out .I landed on my head and knee and tore my ulnar collateral ligament in my left hand.I had to have surgery on my hand to repair the ligament. I aspirated while going under anesthesia and woke up during the operation.I was put on some kind of a block for the rest of the operation,and lots l of morphine.

  9. #84
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    Might as well throw in my 2 cents...

    about 15 years ago, I had just finished up a sweet trail in the Marin Water district in Novato, California. I was returning home and headed down a very steep hill (on the road now). At the bottom was a "traffic circle" and I suddenly realized that I was going too fast to make the turn, and my brakes were woefully inadequate to the task. I finally accepted that I was going to have to "take it". I attempted to bunny hop the curb, but it turned out to be about 10 inches high instead of the 6 I had guessed - and I had incorrectly calculated my speed because I hopped a bit too early - end result, I came down out of the hop perfectly timed to land my front wheel on the edge of the curb - complete taco and I flew over the handlebars. Fortunately, the traffic circle was filled with grass and bark, and I ended up with fairly minor scratches from my ass to my neck. From the marks in the grass - it was determinied that I flew over the handlebars, landed flat on my back 25 feet away, and skidded to a stop in another 10...

    My other story - a few months ago I was riding Arastradero in Los Altos. There is a clearing with a jump, and all my friends were hanging around it waiting for the rest of our group. I decided to take the jump on my fairly new stumpjumper expert - still not completely familiar with the travel... the bike turns in the air and I come down hard on my elbow - stiff and sore and scraped up pretty bad. Then - the next night, while waiting for a buddy to come down for an on-road conditioning ride - I start screwing around and riding some wheelies - you guessed it - couldn't unclip, lost my right hand from the handlebars (so no rear brake stop) and went over backwards on the cement. Distributed the load between my elbow and my back - and the camelback took part of that. But I could barely walk for a few days and my elbow swelled up with a giant goose egg... after 2 weeks of spongy swelling, I went to the doctor who aspirated a giant syringe full of blood...

    Now - I'm the only guy in the group who wears elbow guards on EVERY ride. And I have landed on the same elbow about 4 times in the past three months - all without further injury.

    Let's face it - some of us need extra protection gear because we just fall too damn much! And, at 40, I don't heal as quickly as I used to...

  10. #85
    Devil Mtn
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    My worst...I was maybe 7 years old on a cold Sunday in February. Had just gotten my first "real" bike for my birthday, banana seat and all. I'm guessing that the training wheels had been off for awhile at this point. I'm out riding in the street and decided to see how fast I could go. I must have gotten preoccupied with trying to stay upright or scared of the speed, so much so that I forgot how to brake!

    I don't remember this, but apparently I watched in horror, paralyzed by fear, as the fence came nearer and nearer to my mouth. Yep, i ate the fence, losing my front two (now that I think about it possibly four) baby teeth. I woke up, bleeding from the mouth, to a nice lady asking me where I lived. I was totally disoriented and must have been unconscious for a minute...I wasn't in my neighborhood but my dad's, so couldn't tell her! I don't think I could even utter a word as I was in shock and so much pain.

    My dad's "first aid" consisted of giving me whiskey to pour over a rag with ice in it! My mom gets involved and finds out that teeth can be saved if too much time doesn't elapse, especially if the teeth are kept cold. Anyway, hours later the dentist put the teeth back in, but the winter olympics were much colder with ice on my mouth for a week...

    This was a good lesson, b/c a couple years later my aunt was hit head on by a drunk driver breaking both legs and losing four or five teeth. My mom knew that teeth could be saved, so she quick drove to the salvage yard (many hours later by now) and found my aunt's teeth in the car. My aunt still has those teeth!
    Last edited by reklar; 11-10-2006 at 12:56 AM.

  11. #86
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    first ride on clipless pedals...

    many years ago when i got my first pair of clipless pedals i excidedly installed them, bolted the cleats to my shoes and proceeded to take a spin around the block. needless to say as this was my first set of clipless i hadn't tightened the cleats enough. first time i tried to unclip the shoe rotated but the cleat stayed in place, and down i went. minor scrapes and bumps and plenty of embarassment as the whole neighborhood looked on.

  12. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Hass
    A couple of years ago I was riding my bike in front of my house without a seat and post. I decided I would try to stop the bike by putting my a$$ on the rear wheel.

    The rear wheel grabbed a hold of my shorts and sucked them into the seatstays along with my a$$ and nuts.

    The bike came to a skidding stop!
    just one word............................"OUCH"
    Quote Originally Posted by shredder111
    Can I paint your rockring, silly bun salad?

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrekFan
    anyone else have any stupid bike related (kind of) injuries to help cheer me up?
    well two months ago i was working on my bike (putting on new chain) and as i was taking off the old chain i suddenly moved my hand and i cut my hand on the chain ring. the cut was quite deep and i could not stop the bleeding so i went to the hospital and i got some stiches. also when i cut my hand on the chain ring it was not moving.....i could maybe see cutting my hand if the chain ring was actually moving but it wasn't........it was still so it basicly made no sence to me....but oh well.
    Quote Originally Posted by shredder111
    Can I paint your rockring, silly bun salad?

  14. #89
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    I got nothing, but I am LMAOFF!!!

    (now waiting patiently for my time to come)

  15. #90
    dru
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    I've had too many to count! However, one sticks in my mind. I was riding a small drop on a very steep hill one day and got impaled. The drop was only about a foot or two high but was situated about 1/2 way up a very steep hill, at the end of a sharp right hand turn. Some brilliant individual had decided to string a bungee cord along the outer edge of the turn. I got somehow caught in this cord, went over the bars, and landed on my ass. The bike found its way into the cord too and was hung up on the cord and my inner thigh, with around three teeth of my big ring stuck deep in my thigh. I rode for another hour or two because the ride was a good one, and my leg didn't hurt too bad. The wound only kind of oozed some blood, and was full of grease and mud so I left it alone until I got home. I should have got stitches probably, but I got my wife to pull a huge flap of skin out of the hole so I could pour about half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide into it instead. I have a nice quarter size scar now for the price of that uncerimonious bail.

    Drew

  16. #91
    rmb
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    I tried to ride a log ride with a thick branch on top of it (horizontally). I don't know why I did this because that branch rolled my front tire sideways so fast that I was on my back immediately. I was bruised from a$$ to shoulders.

  17. #92
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    toooo fast

    just got my the rear shock on my stumpjumper pushed last week and decided i was going to rip it down one of my favorite downhills. set myself up for a jump but because i was going faster than normal i overshot the landing zone. landed in the kitty litter and layed it down shredded my entire left side and broke my helmet.
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  18. #93
    dru
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Hass
    A couple of years ago I was riding my bike in front of my house without a seat and post. I decided I would try to stop the bike by putting my a$$ on the rear wheel.

    The rear wheel grabbed a hold of my shorts and sucked them into the seatstays along with my a$$ and nuts.

    The bike came to a skidding stop!
    i just about wet myself, i was laughing so hard.....

    drew

  19. #94
    fresh fish in stock...... SuperModerator
    Reputation: CHUM's Avatar
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    tequila enduced endo = trip to ER...1 week on crutches....5 weeks off of bike....plus the right for friends to heckle me for life....need i say more...ugh
    Visit these 2 places to help advance trail access:
    http://www.sharingthepct.org/
    http://www.facebook.com/SharingThePct

  20. #95
    dude with orange car
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHUM
    tequila enduced endo = trip to ER...1 week on crutches....5 weeks off of bike....plus the right for friends to heckle me for life....need i say more...ugh
    That was a lame biking injury. I still laugh about it. And I'm still taking advantage of my right to heckle you.
    This is no time for levity. - Oliver Hardy

  21. #96
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    A month ago I landed a medium dirt jump with my ass on the back wheel (Jack Hass style). I'd gone way behind the seat to avoid doing half a front flip. Got sucked into the seat stays as advertised. The bike stopped on landing and I just collpased to wait for God. It was pretty violent but nothing got torn off and I managed to stand up again and ride on. How, I'll never know...

  22. #97
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    Determined not to be outclassed by my (six year old) son at riding skinnies, I decided to practise on the curb on my commute home. What could possibly go wrong? Well, it was dark and wet and slippery. I dropped off the curb once, and tried to get back on while keeping my momentum doen the (steep) hill. As a result, I fell off the bike onto the concrete sidewalk and continued sliding until I ended up ass backwards in somebody's front garden.

    I lay there for a moment wondering what was broken, but nothing was, so I got back on my bike and rode off with my tail between my legs.

    I can only imagine someone peering out from behind their curtains at a 42-yr old man lying upside down in their front garden with a dazzling LED strapped to his head and wondering 'what the F is THAT all about?'

  23. #98
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    stairs up + high top tube = sperm sample

    My local trail has some wooden staircases along the way. Most of them have 2-4 stairs, but one has 7-8. My friends climb them like they're made of butter.
    I tried to climb the latter for the first time, I stuck and couldn't pedal and the bike leaned left. Trying not to fall, I smashed my balls on the top tube. I should have gone 16" instead of 18"...
    Doctor said it is just a "simple" rupture that will heal itself (well, it still shows no signs of healing after a week). The funny thing was that during the examination he found out I had some kind of hernia in my balls, not related to the injury, of course. I ended up giving a sperm sample and I'm waiting for the results.

  24. #99
    Viva la Tataruga
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    I was about to wheelie off the edge of a smallish drop (about 2foot) when my bike attempted to randomly change into the next gear, i lost all pedalling power as my chain flicked off and my front wheel went straight down and i fell over the front of my bike, landed on my kneecap (which is still bruised and sore) and my bike fell onto me.
    The worst thing was it was in front of a pub full of people that were laughing there asses off at me.
    Ive had some pretty pathetic "over-done wheelies" which have resulted in several bruised tailbones.
    Gabriel
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  25. #100
    Silence! I kill you!
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHUM
    tequila enduced endo = trip to ER...1 week on crutches....5 weeks off of bike....plus the right for friends to heckle me for life....need i say more...ugh
    You uh, forgot to mention you were trying to ride up a curb........
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