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  1. #1
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    Bathroom emergencies

    So about 4 miles in there lays a pile of crap and a pair of nasty socks.
    I did my business before I went in, but....I had to go and had to go bad. I had no choice but to unload. I figured that the next time I am bringing toilet paper a bag..ect ect, but then the question is.. I don't want to litter leaving crap paper all over(even burried) What to do?

    I gave this some thought and this method popped into my mind...... Adult diapers! don't laugh, hear me out.

    When you have to dump bad.....wrap it around your ass, crap in it then wrap it up and slide it into a small hefty bag..... Take it out of the trail with you and dispose. You can throw the toilet paper inside too.
    It's like an all in one perfect solution for MT biking/Hiking pooping emergencies. Sure it's nasty, but shitting in the woods is nasty too.....At least this way it's a more sanitary deal for the environment and no risk of sitting on poison IVy while crapping.

    Anyone want to experiment? lol

  2. #2
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    It's been a while since I had to s*it in the wood, but when I did I would bring a small plastic spade and a lighter and burn the TP. Packing it out sounds undesirable.

    Someone once made a big deal talking about how you had to bury it so deep so bears couldn't smell it and dig it up. First off bears will smell it a few miles a way easily and it they do dig it up it will be about like a dog and a cat box. Bear candy. I'm sure it won't hurt them. They eat a lot worse stuff that that.

    The worst ever emergency stop was after eating at a greasy spoon buffet out in Utah or western Colo and heading out on the 2 lane highway straight as an arrow small shoulder no turnoffs and not a tree in sight with freshly plowed open fields on each side. About 15 minutes later...well it was an emergency. All I could do was pull over and walk to the other side of the truck with the door open for some obstruction and have at it as quick as I could. Probably not the prettiest sight for anyone who happened to look. The truck was an old 64 1 ton 4x4 Dodge too so it sat pretty high and you could easily see under it. Sometimes you just don't have a choice.
    No it never stops hurting, but if you keep at it you can go faster.

  3. #3
    Woods Ready
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    You and that guy that shaved his junk for the trail need to get together.

  4. #4
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    Removable colostomy bags is my answer to your problem.

  5. #5
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    If this type of thing happens to you frequently, you should just wear the diaper and save the hassle of changing in case of an emergency.

    Otherwise, the risk isn't worth the hassle of dragging around asswipe, diapers and garbage bags.

  6. #6
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    Why the hell do you need to wear a diaper and wallow in your own crap in order to, effectively, $hit in a bag? If you're THAT worried about the effect of you (an animal) $hitting in the woods why not just hold a bag under your @ss? You've exposed yourself for the freak you are. Thank you. I'm entertained and disgusted at the same time.

    Paula Radcliffe London Marathon 2005 - Peeing and Winning - YouTube

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  8. #8
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    BTW, when you do stuff like biking 4 miles in, yo uhave to make due with what's avalible...just seemed reasonable to me... Deep sea divers wear diapers all day....did you know that? So do astronauts

    WOW!!

  9. #9
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    Packing a diaper out? Um... if you really have concern, just have some rolled up TP in your camelback. Dig a small latrine off trail somewhere with a stick, do your business, cover it. Animals crap in the woods all the time, you're just another animal. TP will disintegrate when water hits it, no need to burn it.
    FATRAC - Folsom-Auburn Trail Riders Coalition - Member
    My personal site - Living single, seeing double, jumping triples

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ganymede_Illusion View Post
    BTW, when you do stuff like biking 4 miles in, yo uhave to make due with what's avalible...just seemed reasonable to me... Deep sea divers wear diapers all day....did you know that? So do astronauts

    WOW!!
    4 miles? Woah!! Here's a thought: Wouldn't say....... a garbage bag be easier to carry and maybe more multi purpose? I carry PADI Open Water, Deep Water, Night, Cavern, and Cave certifications. Never seen the Pampers Life Aquatic Edition before. Where do you get these? Astronauts are strapped to a chair for hours while their bowels are crushed be several times the force of gravity. Are you that fast?

  11. #11
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    There was a lengthy discussion about this topic about 3 weeks ago in the general forum. It's quite an entertaining read.

    Diarhea, Cha, Cha, Cha...

  12. #12
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    what a crappy thread

  13. #13
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    Seriously hoping many posts are tongue in cheek casue if you have an issue with shitting in the woods and burying like 2 oz of chit paper then you have bigger issues than how and when to poop!!

    EDIT: Hahahaha, Just realized that this is in the "Passion" forum....you got a passion for pooping!!?? LMAO

    Sorry but too darn funny bud

  14. #14
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    i have a poop schedule, i poop around 2-3hrs before my ride.

    i do have to stop to pee every now and then though. i hurry so i dont jack up my time avg/speed
    Gary Fisher HiFi Deluxe 29er

  15. #15
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    i guess "ill cross that bridge" when i get there. nothing wrong with pooping in the woods, just cover that crap up.
    Gary Fisher HiFi Deluxe 29er

  16. #16
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    Ya, I always try to go before the ride but we all know how well that works sometimes. Once about 8 miles into the trail I had to pull up under some trees and dump once right near the trail it was so narrow and steep there wasn't anywhere else to go. I checked both ways, kicked a trench in the ground with my shoe, dropped it, wiped and buried it real quick! It was that or crap meself. Thank God I had a couple napkins in my Camelbak....just enough to do the job, otherwise I'd have cut the sleeves off my jersey or something....LOL>
    Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son...

  17. #17
    Yappy little dog!
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    Just go!

    I had my gal bladder out years ago. Ever since then, number two has been an issue. I can usually time it based upon the food I have eaten. It averages about twelve minutes. Of course this can pose a problem with eating food on the trail.

    I always bring a good wad of TP in a ziplock with me. I bring the kind you use for an RV/Camper, because it easily decomposes. It's a pretty natural thing to do. Humans have been doing it for well, all of their existence. I am pretty sure the toilet is a relatively new invention compared to human existence. We've been crapping in the woods since the dawn of time, why is it now a problem?

    Take yourself well off the trail (at least 200'). Dig a hole (use a stick) at least six inches deep. Squat, wipe, and bury. Done. I also pack hand sanitizer.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nomad1972 View Post
    Seriously hoping many posts are tongue in cheek casue if you have an issue with shitting in the woods and burying like 2 oz of chit paper then you have bigger issues than how and when to poop!!

    EDIT: Hahahaha, Just realized that this is in the "Passion" forum....you got a passion for pooping!!?? LMAO

    Sorry but too darn funny bud
    I'm with you. If you got to go in the woods, then join the wildlife. But just try to bury it and do it 500 ft from a creek---if you can.

    But, people, try to yield to uphill riders even after your poo.!

  19. #19
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    Even stupid cats know to bury their poo.

  20. #20
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    I had to go just this last weekend at 12k. Skunk cabbage is Nature's Charmin and it leaves a refreshing smell.....

  21. #21
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    Sh1t happens.

    You're putting way more thought in to this than most people would. How about just dropping trough (off the trail, please) and finding some leaves. It's worked for most of humankind for thousands of years.
    Last edited by Ken in KC; 08-30-2011 at 06:54 AM.
    JPark - 3.5- don't listen to dremer

  22. #22
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    This thread needs to be merged with "Trails of Terror from the Trail".

  23. #23
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    It wearing diapers is cheaper than knicks or trail shorts (based on a clean one each ride - I'm not that cheap) and they fit under shorts and are comfy, well, just sayin.

  24. #24
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    You can't just carry a zip-top plastic bag to put the used toilet paper into and pack it out? Really? It has to be an adult diaper and a hefty bag?

    Is this a prank?
    I'm enjoying my childhood way too much to ever give it up.

  25. #25
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    So what exactly were you searching for, when you found this video and why?
    Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

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