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  1. #1
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Angry, Drunk SSer Thread

    This better ****ing last until oblivion, or you are all ****ing liars who ride full suspension geared bikes. Which you all probably ****ing are. *****es.

    In order to get to the ass****ing ***** eating pinnacle of angry tonight, I'm going through a bastard cockfest of beers: I'm currently starting with a Dogfishheadassmouth Midas Touch, then onto a Widmer Budweiser, then hopefully finishing with two Ninkasi Spring Reigns before passing out in my own vomit, semen and drool.

    I will wake up hating myself and do a bike ride, then start over again around five with a trip to everyone's (should be) Ninkasi. I'll get angry and piss on all your ****ing redundant and stupid **** you guys parade around like whores with their vaginas.

    xoxoxo,

    uMarty

    ps- Anyone know how the Romantic Weekend with sParty turned out? Is he dating? Did he get lucky?

  2. #2
    Bro Mountainbiker
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    Why dont you go ahead and shove a pineapple up your ass. You greasy butt-onion.
    Raised in a Chicken-Coop by Chickens

  3. #3
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheepo5669 View Post
    Why dont you go ahead and shove a pineapple up your ass. You greasy butt-onion.
    Because I've already used all of my "Pulling Random **** from my Ass" part of my health plan for the year.

    And instead of ass, how about we call it "Where Hamsters Go To Die."

  4. #4
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    low income hamster housing.

  5. #5
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    I'm eating Cheez-its. And drinking a Coke.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  6. #6
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  7. #7
    meatier showers
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    Where's CHUM when we need him?

    ISAR, you reported this objectionable thread, didn't you? It's stinking up the forum you sponsor.

    --sParty
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    you wanted to be.

    Quote Originally Posted by riverrat
    Jaybo... quit *****ing and move to Texas

  8. #8
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    Are you drinking yourself into oblivion because you feel guilty for not racing Puff with Sparticus?

  9. #9
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    Click Here for Forum Rules

  10. #10
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    This is your lovely SS forum at its black-tie finest, oh Great Overlord.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  11. #11
    backwoods and backwards
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    Umarth is my friend!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOJO K View Post
    Umarth is my friend!
    on facebooks or for realzzzz?

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparticus View Post
    Where's CHUM when we need him?

    ISAR, you reported this objectionable thread, didn't you? It's stinking up the forum you sponsor.

    --sParty
    A little derailment here (no pun intended); HBC has an ad in BIKE magazine. Making the "Bell City" proud!

  14. #14
    I got nothin'
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    Arch Marge, if you are reading this, Umarth is off his medication again.
    I ride at ludicrous speed

  15. #15
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    I think I'm going to like this forum.

    This is actually better than my queer fantasy football league.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by CB2 View Post
    A little derailment here (no pun intended); HBC has an ad in BIKE magazine. Making the "Bell City" proud!
    You intend that pun and you intend it hard.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

  17. #17
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    Black tie finest? Crap, I'm in my underpants. Someone swing me a tux. In the sherbet color.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

  18. #18
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Quote Originally Posted by hydrogeek View Post
    Arch Marge, if you are reading this, Umarth is off his medication again.
    Beer is my medication. You should see me sober. AHH!! Must go ride! Want to drive down to the Eug and drink at Ninkasi with me tonight?

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by umarth View Post
    Beer is my medication. You should see me sober. AHH!! Must go ride! Want to drive down to the Eug and drink at Ninkasi with me tonight?
    That sounds good, but the to be ex ball and chain is whining about the garage door again. Gotta fix the ****ing thing tonight.

    Bring your SS and lights up next Tuesday. I am planning an after work ride to end in the dark out in Tilly.
    I ride at ludicrous speed

  20. #20
    backwoods and backwards
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    Quote Originally Posted by solo24 View Post
    I think I'm going to like this forum.

    This is actually better than my queer fantasy football league.

    "Queer fantasy football", hmmm, never would've guessed..... how do we stack up compared to your "straight" fantasy football league, that's the real test?

  21. #21
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    Quote Originally Posted by hydrogeek View Post
    That sounds good, but the to be ex ball and chain is whining about the garage door again. Gotta fix the ****ing thing tonight.

    Bring your SS and lights up next Tuesday. I am planning an after work ride to end in the dark out in Tilly.
    Uh, that might happen. I'll keep you posted. Have fun with the woman...

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOJO K View Post
    "Queer fantasy football", hmmm, never would've guessed..... how do we stack up compared to your "straight" fantasy football league, that's the real test?
    Maybe he has a soccer and football fantasy team.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOJO K View Post
    "Queer fantasy football", hmmm, never would've guessed..... how do we stack up compared to your "straight" fantasy football league, that's the real test?
    Actually I meant fantasy football is queer, gay, but I still obsess over it. The guys are not, in fact they are a bunch of smack, trash talkers like you guys. Half of the time I don't even know what the hell they are talking about. They have their own Rome like lingo sort of like you all. It's all in good fun though and they have all become good friends of mine.
    Damn, I want to ride! my ss is up in N. Florida and I am not.
    Who is our new leader?

    out

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by solo24 View Post
    . Half of the time I don't even know what the hell they are talking about.
    You'll be fine in here.



    I just tapped a Back Fly Stout... I should be witty and/or bitter in no time.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by TroutBum View Post
    I just tapped a Back Fly Stout... I should be witty and/or bitter in no time.
    I just tapped your mother/wife/significant female in your life. I already am very bitter.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  26. #26
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    MTBed, got a pair of BB7s with Avid Speedsomething levers for ****ing 20 hellacious dollars. I was so happy that I immediately went to a bar and drank my ******* into a stupor and biked home.

    Has anyone else noticed that if you are drunk and then bike over five miles that you end up being ****ingshit ass obliterated when you get home?

    Is ****ing sharp ass cheddar cheese the best ****ing **** ever? I had some 14 year old sharp white cheddar recently and it tasted so ****ing good that when I tried my normal cheddar at home it tasted like the lining of sParty's spincter (not that I would know, just a fairly prevalent rumor in The Eug) so I threw it away.

    And how long until we get some seedless ****ing Greek ass olives? The seeds are ****ing irritating as ****ing hell.

  27. #27
    ******
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    Sharp cheddar is dope. I want some 14 year old cheese. But not in the pedo way you want it. F^ckin' creep.

    Stop being a ***** and man up to the seeds *****. I chew them shˇts to a paste then wash it down with baby blood.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

  28. #28
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    When I lived in Pullman we played a game that went -

    Bike 9 miles on the Chipman Trail to Moscow
    Buy two 40's
    Ride home while stopping at each bench to drink 40's

    I barely remember finishing the ride...

  29. #29
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    What the f*** is all this s***?????????? I thought this was a harsh, drunk, angy forum of bike nerds, but then Umarth pulls this m****r-f*****g pansy-@#^ s*#% out of his chamois-chafed sphincter, and now I'm thinking it's getting all Quaker up in here. Come on man, have some decency, f*#&ing grab some more beer, and man up!

    PS-I only own hardtails and a rigid. <3

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackgriffen_1 View Post
    What the f*** is all this s***?????????? I thought this was a harsh, drunk, angy forum of bike nerds, but then Umarth pulls this m****r-f*****g pansy-@#^ s*#% out of his chamois-chafed sphincter, and now I'm thinking it's getting all Quaker up in here. Come on man, have some decency, f*#&ing grab some more beer, and man up!

    PS-I only own hardtails and a rigid. <3
    I don't wear a chamois you taint riddled skidmark. Don't ****ing capitalize my handle either, cause it emphasizes your absolute lack of reading comprehension, you ****ing goat ****ing light beer drinker. That's ****ing right. I said it. You think fermented cat piss like Coors mother****ing Light is a beer. So get back to ****ing your sister, Cletus, and leave us angry, beer (real beer) drinking guys with a clear bent towards gay jokes alone. 'Cause they are just jokes.

    Right?

    Also, the only hardtail in your life is your mom and your sister. With thems and the interwebz, you never have to leave the house.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by umarth View Post
    I don't wear a chamois you taint riddled skidmark. Don't ****ing capitalize my handle either, cause it emphasizes your absolute lack of reading comprehension, you ****ing goat ****ing light beer drinker. That's ****ing right. I said it. You think fermented cat piss like Coors mother****ing Light is a beer. So get back to ****ing your sister, Cletus, and leave us angry, beer (real beer) drinking guys with a clear bent towards gay jokes alone. 'Cause they are just jokes.

    Right?

    Also, the only hardtail in your life is your mom and your sister. With thems and the interwebz, you never have to leave the house.
    B*^#h please, my cheap beer is a custom named Bearded Cannonball. Screw your Coors Light you ****ing ***sy, you'd drink your own urine just to put something down your throat (no comment on what else ends up down there ). You lie awake at night with a stomach full of **** beer, instead of drinking Crater Lake Vodka which is the ****, and have wet dreams about fondling a shiny Lefty full sus with a heartrate monitor. You, sir, are a disgrace. Besides the point, we up hur in Warshington ain't real hicks, we vote Democrat (they's the ones with tha donkeeeeee, right?).

  32. #32
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    **** the whole Northwest. Those *****es can't even get by a day without rain to quench their pansy-assed skin.

    Moist.
    Moist.
    It's a cool word to say.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by erik1245 View Post
    **** the whole Northwest. Those *****es can't even get by a day without rain to quench their pansy-assed skin.

    Moist.
    Moist.
    It's a cool word to say.
    It's true, we get all pissy when there's no mud to ride in and no rain soaking through our ***tty gear. Thank you for complimenting my pansy ass, it's too hard from fixie riding.

    I agree.
    Moist.
    Moist.
    I miss the moist winter.
    Moist.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackgriffen_1 View Post
    fixie riding.
    ****in' hipsters....
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by erik1245 View Post
    ****in' hipsters....
    ****ing hazard of being in ****ing college in the ****ing NorthWet, so many fixie posers. That's why I ride centuries on my fixie, **** all you ****ing posers. To quote a deep v rim I saw in a book: "All You Haters Can Suck My B@!!s." **** yes.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackgriffen_1 View Post
    ****ing hazard of being in ****ing college in the ****ing NorthWet, so many fixie posers. That's why I ride centuries on my fixie, **** all you ****ing posers. To quote a deep v rim I saw in a book: "All You Haters Can Suck My B@!!s." **** yes.
    Hey *******, I'm in the same goddamn boat. Mother****ing boat. Moving to college tomorrow. ****ing hipsters give us all bad ****ing names. ****ing ****shit*****face.

    My fixed gear has mother****ing brakes and clipless pedals and bottle cages. Hipsters ride fixies. Non-coasting singlespeed folk ride mother****ing fixed gears. Get your goddamn terminology ****ing right. ****.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  37. #37
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    Since every other ****-tard uses fixie, I chose the American way and went along with the ******g crowd. ****. My ******* fixed ******* gear has brakes, *** hoods, a d***hy seat bag, and egg beaters. ****, can't wait to get back to college and mock the ******* hipsters who spend all ******* day mocking the ******* society that makes them ******* pointless. Love it. ****

  38. #38
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    ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************************** ********************.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  39. #39
    Ovaries on the Outside
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    And there we go.

    Nice work, fellas.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackgriffen_1 View Post
    It's true, we get all pissy when there's no mud to ride in and no rain soaking through our ***tty gear. Thank you for complimenting my pansy ass, it's too hard from fixie riding.

    I agree.
    Moist.
    Moist.
    I miss the moist winter.
    Moist.
    ****ing ****y. The Pacific North Vagina gets less ****in' rain than I do in the ****- hole pretend city Raleigh. Man the **** up you ****ing panty waist hipster.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

  41. #41
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    Go where did I miss something what the f**** where am I

  42. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by monzie View Post
    ****ing ****y. The Pacific North Vagina gets less ****in' rain than I do in the ****- hole pretend city Raleigh. Man the **** up you ****ing panty waist hipster.
    But look what you've got to call mountains, those ****ing turds don't have $*** on the Cascades. Suck on our snow-covered peaks you ******* foothill-h**ping mongrol.

    Oh yeah, the almighty Umarth approves of our stupid ******* ****-fest.

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by rangeriderdave View Post
    Go where did I miss something what the f**** where am I
    FAIL
    You can't even cuss right. Too many asterisks after your f.
    So f*** off!!
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  44. #44
    meatier showers
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    I really wanted to stay out of this juvenile train wreck but since I've already slid down this disgusting slippery slope once (above, but may I point out I did so before this thread went totally sidways), I guess the road to hell is now paved.

    So here we go again, but this time I'm making an effort to right a tragic wrong.

    What's wrong is you dimwits.

    Since few here apparently seem to possess the mental faculties to "get it," I guess someone needs to point out what a bunch of sheep you total losers are. umarth tossed the bait out there and you pinheads went after it like hurricane victims to FEMA trailers.

    Anybody can type a string of asterisks, whether they actually hit the cap 8 key or defile themselves by triggering eMpTy Beer's curse filter. (Well, apparently not everyone, as evidenced by the guy who spells **** with five letters, but you get what I'm saying.) May I suggest you bozos learn the art of eloquence; that is to say cussing is a lowest common denominator and there's no sense in immediately reducing yourself to that level if you can demonstrate the the intellect to remain above it.

    Like cattle to slaughter, umarth lead you here and you cheerfully raced into the chute. You should have seen it coming but instead all you've done is soiled yourselves and rolled in the stench, giggling like a bunch of school girls all the way. Can't you express your miserable selves without resorting exclusively to asterisks?

    C'mon, even you morans are better than that. Um... maybe not.

    umarth certainly isn't but I honestly thought you buttheads could tell a leader from a loser.

    --sParty
    Last edited by Sparticus; 08-26-2011 at 01:46 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by riverrat
    Jaybo... quit *****ing and move to Texas

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparticus View Post
    I really wanted to stay out of this juvenile train wreck but since I've already slid down this disgusting slippery slope once (above, but may I point out I did so before this thread went totally sidways), I guess the road to hell is now paved.

    So here we go again, but this time I'm making an effort to right a tragic wrong.

    What's wrong is you dimwits.

    Since few here apparently seem to possess the mental faculties to "get it," I guess someone needs to point out what a bunch of sheep you total losers are. umarth tossed the bait out there and you pinheads went after it like hurricane victims to FEMA trailers.

    Anybody can type a string of asterisks, whether they actually hit the cap 8 key or defile themselves by triggering eMpTy Beer's curse filter. (Well, apparently not everyone, as evidenced by the guy who spells **** with five letters, but you get what I'm saying.) May I suggest you bozos learn the art of eloquence; that is to say cussing is a lowest common denominator and there's no sense in immediately reducing yourself to that level if you can demonstrate the the intellect to remain above it.

    Like cattle to slaughter, umarth lead you here and you cheerfully raced into the chute. You should have seen it coming but instead all you've done is **** yourselves and rolled in the stench, giggling like a bunch of school girls all the way. Can't you express your miserable selves without resorting exclusively to asterisks?

    C'mon, even you morans are better than that. Um... maybe not.

    umarth certainly isn't but I honestly thought you buttheads could tell a leader from a loser.

    --sParty
    Firstly, *morons,* just had to point that out. Secondly, I speak for perhaps only myself by saying that much like Umarth in general, our downward spiral of degrading, vulgar, and unseen language is simply one enormous mountain troll. I decry the overuse of pointless language in the forums of sports, so my compatriots and I are simply being asses to better the general population. F*c*i*g sParty, way to blow the whole shindig.

  46. #46
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    I thought the hamster in the toilet paper roll was funnier than sh*t.

    (notice the complimentary asterisk)

  47. #47
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    This thread would make the boys proud!!!

  48. #48
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    And has been moved.......

    Good work everybody

    +rep to everybody, except rangeriderdave, learn to spell (ok J/K they won't let me rep any more and it stopped right before you)
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  49. #49
    meatier showers
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brewtality View Post
    Good work everybody

    +rep to everybody, except rangeriderdave, learn to spell (ok J/K they won't let me rep any more and it stopped right before you)
    I need to learn to spell, too. This is a picture of me at a rally I attended a while back. I'm really proud of my role in helping the USA become a better world.


    --sParty
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    you wanted to be.

    Quote Originally Posted by riverrat
    Jaybo... quit *****ing and move to Texas

  50. #50
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    I'm pretty happy this ended up in the recycle bin. Wish it has just been deleted though.

    Sad.

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