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  1. #1
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    I 'have faith' that my neighbor's cat is the messiah

    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.

    Seriously, why do you care so much?

  3. #3
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    See "Son of Sam" Berkowitz

    Psychosis plus stress plus weapon = shootings.

  4. #4
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    You are going over the edge. Seriously.

  5. #5
    Crunchatize me Capn'
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    Quote Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.
    I cannot prove to you that your claims are not true. They may very well be true. What is important is that you find them worthy. It is nice to see that there is at least something in your life that you would be willing to die for....hopefully.

  6. #6
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    He has a basic point. The vast majority of the world's population does not believe in Christianity. People may have faith that their version is correct, but these same people are products of their own social and cultural upbringing. Can a Christian say with certainty that if they were "brought up" Muslim they would not be Muslim? It's good that people have faith if that is the wellspring of their morality or ethics and those same moralities and ethics are for the betterment of their fellow man, believer or disbeliever.

    But, too often religion is no longer used as a teaching aid for enlightenment but as a club for oppression, hate, and bigotry, and genocide. I think of organized religion as an artifact of our past. Our appendix so to speak; no longer really useful, but it can flare up and kill you.
    To gain food and water and rest in the heart of a people's wicked land. - Mystery Shopper

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ray Dolor
    I'm always nice to kitty's, let Him know.

    Within the context of my 'Magical Thinking', I figger that hearfelt kindness to kitty-cats will earn me some kinda equity, which in turn will persuade Big Kitty not to jump on my neck when he is sitting in ambush on the trails i ride thru his territory.

    Does that make sense to you?
    You are on the right track. I will feed the kitty some catnip this evening, and read his tracks in the snow to interpret whether or not it makes divine sense.
    Last edited by warfaminepestilenceplague; 12-09-2007 at 11:22 AM.

  8. #8
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    If my cat peed on my ski bag, does that mean that I can now sell it on Ebay as a holy relic, like the face of Jesus on a bagel?
    ...And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass[SIZE=1][SIZE=2]...[/SIZE](KJV Numbers 22:28)[/SIZE]

  9. #9
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    If I happened to be carrying sacred offerings of catnip and pounce in my seatbag , and happen to get eaten by a mt. lion, would that be a divine thing ?
    Yeah I gotta question. You got any excuses tonight Roy ? -Antonio Tarver

    There is room for it all, just ride what you like to on what you like to...that's freeriding. -rbn14



  10. #10
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    FALSE PROPHET!!!!!!

    My cat is the real messiah.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone66
    FALSE PROPHET!!!!!!

    My cat is the real messiah.
    Perhaps I am your neighbor...

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    Perhaps I am your neighbor...
    then you have mistaken my female cat for a male and insulted the messiah.

    DEATH BY STONING!!!!!!!!!

  13. #13
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    The messiah appears as a male cat to me, and a female cat to you. It is a manifestation of the divine duality. Every moment brings a new enlightenment! I am approaching a state of rapture!

    Alelluyah! Rejoice exceedingly! Kip-a-yo, Kip-a-yi-yi-yay!

  14. #14
    Art is Resistance
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    Quote Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    The messiah appears as a male cat to me, and a female cat to you. It is a manifestation of the divine duality. Every moment brings a new enlightenment! I am approaching a state of rapture!

    Alelluyah! Rejoice exceedingly! Kip-a-yo, Kip-a-yi-yi-yay!
    Do you have some organization that we can give money to?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by djcrb9
    Do you have some organization that we can give money to?
    It is a little known fact that the Feline Deity prefers Heifer International. All those cows and goats give milk, and the One Who Purrs loves milk.
    ...And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass[SIZE=1][SIZE=2]...[/SIZE](KJV Numbers 22:28)[/SIZE]

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.

    Finally, i see the truth. I hereby renounce my faith. Thank you for changing my life and steering me away from the evil Christianity and local Presbyterian Church. What a bunch of heretics and morans!

    Is that the response you are looking for?
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiffedMax
    It is a little known fact that the Feline Deity prefers Heifer International. All those cows and goats give milk, and the One Who Purrs loves milk.
    If that cat isn't riding in a mercedes, then it ain't no religion for me.

  18. #18
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    Maybe WFP is saying that cats can't do this


  19. #19
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    Blessed be thee oh great feline of the heavens. May you usurp the Great Lord Belfrey, showing us the true righteousness of your splendor and power.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery Shopper
    Maybe WFP is saying that cats can't do this
    Those angels are cuties.

    This thread is worthless without more cat or angel pics.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by kept man
    Those angels are cuties.

    This thread is worthless without more cat or angel pics.


  22. #22
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    Just for you Kept...

    .....
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  23. #23
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    WFPP, my neighbour's dog says your neighbour's cat is a false prophet sent to lead people astray and into the whoredoms of feline-inity. Praise be to Bowser for the day of the mighty Milkbone is at hand! On that day, all cats and cat lovers will be banished to the darkness they were meant for (Why else would cats be able to see in the dark, right?)!

    As if four times wasn't enough-> Psycho Mike's 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer Page

    Moran? Let your opinion be free -> F88me

  24. #24
    velocipede technician
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    so i should stop eating kittens?
    looking for 20-21" P team

  25. #25
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    I'm not taking any chances - I'll do Pascal's Pets for a thousand, Alex.
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    ...And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass[SIZE=1][SIZE=2]...[/SIZE](KJV Numbers 22:28)[/SIZE]

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