• 12-09-2007
    warfaminepestilenceplague
    I 'have faith' that my neighbor's cat is the messiah
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.
  • 12-09-2007
    Nuboy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.


    Seriously, why do you care so much?
  • 12-09-2007
    Mystery Shopper
    See "Son of Sam" Berkowitz

    Psychosis plus stress plus weapon = shootings.
  • 12-09-2007
    bloviating
    You are going over the edge. Seriously.
  • 12-09-2007
    jabpn
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.

    I cannot prove to you that your claims are not true. They may very well be true. What is important is that you find them worthy. It is nice to see that there is at least something in your life that you would be willing to die for....hopefully.
  • 12-09-2007
    netpyro
    He has a basic point. The vast majority of the world's population does not believe in Christianity. People may have faith that their version is correct, but these same people are products of their own social and cultural upbringing. Can a Christian say with certainty that if they were "brought up" Muslim they would not be Muslim? It's good that people have faith if that is the wellspring of their morality or ethics and those same moralities and ethics are for the betterment of their fellow man, believer or disbeliever.

    But, too often religion is no longer used as a teaching aid for enlightenment but as a club for oppression, hate, and bigotry, and genocide. I think of organized religion as an artifact of our past. Our appendix so to speak; no longer really useful, but it can flare up and kill you.
  • 12-09-2007
    warfaminepestilenceplague
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Ray Dolor
    I'm always nice to kitty's, let Him know.

    Within the context of my 'Magical Thinking', I figger that hearfelt kindness to kitty-cats will earn me some kinda equity, which in turn will persuade Big Kitty not to jump on my neck when he is sitting in ambush on the trails i ride thru his territory.

    Does that make sense to you?

    You are on the right track. I will feed the kitty some catnip this evening, and read his tracks in the snow to interpret whether or not it makes divine sense.
  • 12-09-2007
    MiffedMax
    If my cat peed on my ski bag, does that mean that I can now sell it on Ebay as a holy relic, like the face of Jesus on a bagel?
  • 12-09-2007
    Evel Knievel
    If I happened to be carrying sacred offerings of catnip and pounce in my seatbag , and happen to get eaten by a mt. lion, would that be a divine thing ?
  • 12-09-2007
    Persephone66
    FALSE PROPHET!!!!!!

    My cat is the real messiah.
  • 12-09-2007
    warfaminepestilenceplague
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Persephone66
    FALSE PROPHET!!!!!!

    My cat is the real messiah.

    Perhaps I am your neighbor...
  • 12-09-2007
    Persephone66
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    Perhaps I am your neighbor...

    then you have mistaken my female cat for a male and insulted the messiah.

    DEATH BY STONING!!!!!!!!!
  • 12-09-2007
    warfaminepestilenceplague
    The messiah appears as a male cat to me, and a female cat to you. It is a manifestation of the divine duality. Every moment brings a new enlightenment! I am approaching a state of rapture!

    Alelluyah! Rejoice exceedingly! Kip-a-yo, Kip-a-yi-yi-yay!
  • 12-09-2007
    djcrb9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    The messiah appears as a male cat to me, and a female cat to you. It is a manifestation of the divine duality. Every moment brings a new enlightenment! I am approaching a state of rapture!

    Alelluyah! Rejoice exceedingly! Kip-a-yo, Kip-a-yi-yi-yay!

    Do you have some organization that we can give money to?
  • 12-09-2007
    MiffedMax
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by djcrb9
    Do you have some organization that we can give money to?

    It is a little known fact that the Feline Deity prefers Heifer International. All those cows and goats give milk, and the One Who Purrs loves milk.
  • 12-09-2007
    ditchdiver56
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by warfaminepestilenceplague
    He has instructed me to proclaim that the New Age of the Cat is upon us.

    I call upon all of you to follow me as his prophet along the only true path to salvation. The faithfull are expected to make a pilgrimage to His litter box and sleeping blanket at least once during their life times. They can use their own cat's litter box and blanket as a shrine. All cat owners are to be designated as the chosen people, for they are merciful and kind towards the divine felines among us.

    I will be updating this post with scriptures written in flowery language on a regular basis. Of course they will be mistranslated, poorly edited, and full of contradictions, but who cares? You just have to have faith!

    In order to be baptised into the devine feline church(only cat owners can apply), they must annoint their foreheads with cat spray from an unadulterated male cat.

    My neighbor's cat is the messieah. Halleujah! Praise be! He has sprayed his divine musk upon us so that we may ascend to heaven resurrected as cats after the divine rapture when all dogs will perish, and all life forms will return as cats.

    'PROVE' TO ME THAT MY CLAIMS ARE NOT TRUE.

    You can't, so therefore your dismissals of my claims are no less invalid than my claims are.


    Finally, i see the truth. I hereby renounce my faith. Thank you for changing my life and steering me away from the evil Christianity and local Presbyterian Church. What a bunch of heretics and morans!

    Is that the response you are looking for?:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
  • 12-09-2007
    djcrb9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by MiffedMax
    It is a little known fact that the Feline Deity prefers Heifer International. All those cows and goats give milk, and the One Who Purrs loves milk.

    If that cat isn't riding in a mercedes, then it ain't no religion for me.
  • 12-09-2007
    Mystery Shopper
    Maybe WFP is saying that cats can't do this

    http://boozhy.typepad.com/photos/unc...oring_book.jpg
  • 12-09-2007
    jabpn
    1 Attachment(s)
    Blessed be thee oh great feline of the heavens. May you usurp the Great Lord Belfrey, showing us the true righteousness of your splendor and power.
  • 12-09-2007
    kept man
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mystery Shopper
    Maybe WFP is saying that cats can't do this

    Those angels are cuties.

    This thread is worthless without more cat or angel pics.
  • 12-09-2007
    Mystery Shopper
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kept man
    Those angels are cuties.

    This thread is worthless without more cat or angel pics.


    <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sQJog4sCVg0&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sQJog4sCVg0&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>
  • 12-09-2007
    jabpn
    1 Attachment(s)
    Just for you Kept...
    .....
  • 12-11-2007
    Psycho Mike
    WFPP, my neighbour's dog says your neighbour's cat is a false prophet sent to lead people astray and into the whoredoms of feline-inity. Praise be to Bowser for the day of the mighty Milkbone is at hand! On that day, all cats and cat lovers will be banished to the darkness they were meant for (Why else would cats be able to see in the dark, right?)!

    :D
  • 12-11-2007
    hollister
    so i should stop eating kittens?
  • 12-11-2007
    MiffedMax
    2 Attachment(s)
    I'm not taking any chances - I'll do Pascal's Pets for a thousand, Alex.