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  1. #1
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    Blessed Armageddon--"the Jews Will Accept Christ"

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-bl...h_b_57826.html

    First the Antichrist will try to make peace in the Middle East.

    (Peace is the Way of the Beast. Peace is against God's will.)

    But those Jews will finally see the light!

  2. #2
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    it is hard to phucking believe that Evangelical Christians are believed by anyone, at any time, for anything

    these people are mentally ill

  3. #3
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    Deprogramming?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wasatch Walt
    ...Evangelical Christians...these people are mentally ill



    Maybe electroconvulsive therapy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BadHabit
    Maybe electroconvulsive therapy?
    how about we start small

    and just laugh when evangelicals go on about their fairy tales?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasatch Walt
    it is hard to phucking believe that Evangelical Christians are believed by anyone, at any time, for anything

    these people are mentally ill
    Admittedly,

    I have yet to meet a serious Millennialist who wasn't more than a little bit off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BadHabit
    But those Jews will finally see the light!
    Hmmm...I saw a sign in Toronto today
    Attached Images Attached Images

  7. #7
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    I like this one


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by BadHabit
    Maybe electroconvulsive therapy?

    I know! Spunk water!

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    I can just hear those cynical Zionists cackling...

    I can just hear those cynical Zionists cackling about how they pulled one over the eyes of the dumb, gullible Goyem sheep once again.

    "They think we're the Chosen People!"

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by kept man
    Admittedly,

    I have yet to meet a serious Millennialist who wasn't more than a little bit off.

    Let's assume, for a moment, that you are not a little bit off and that you believe at least some small portion of the Bible and what it teaches about Christ's return. That may be asking a lot, but what is your take? Rapture? Tribulation? Millennium? Perhaps that's putting the cart way ahead of the horse since I've never seen you say you feel Jesus Christ is God and that he rose from the dead after his substitutionary death on the cross for sinners willing to accept his gift of salvation.



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    I heard this joke a while back and it made me laugh. maybe it was better being told in person, but I will recount it hear anyway. You must start the joke as if it were a serious news story. I guess that I can't do that ruins it partly anyway. Oh well.


    Recently, a local woman was killed on the interstate when she jumped out of her car in an attempt to join the rapture. "She thought she saw Jesus" remarked her now widower husband, who had been driving. A young man, with longish dark hair, from the local college, was on his way to a local toga party and wearing one of those white toga robes. He had had several blow up dolls in his trunk filled with helium, but his trunk had opened on the interstate. According to eyewitnesses, the young man had pulled over, stepped out of his car, and while looking upwards towards them, began beckoning for the escaping blowup dolls to come back. The woman, seeing the scene, thought that this was Jesus sending believers off to the rapture. "She was so excited she just jumped out of the car", her husband confirmed again.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasatch Walt
    it is hard to phucking believe that Evangelical Christians are believed by anyone, at any time, for anything

    these people are mentally ill

    You must be more self-absorbed than most anyone to not understand that there are tens of millions of people living in the U.S. alone who worship God and read and study his Holy word, as well as having a personal relationship with His son, Jesus Christ.

    A more valid question might be why anyone here would listen to your whacky predictions and angry tirades and not see them for anything other than attempts of a circus clown seeking attention because he has closed off every other meaningful human contact in his life. As Morrissey sang; you know your unlovable.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Box Elder
    Let's assume, for a moment, that you are not a little bit off and that you believe at least some small portion of the Bible and what it teaches about Christ's return. That may be asking a lot, but what is your take? Rapture? Tribulation? Millennium? Perhaps that's putting the cart way ahead of the horse since I've never seen you say you feel Jesus Christ is God and that he rose from the dead after his substitutionary death on the cross for sinners willing to accept his gift of salvation.



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    *still patiently waiting for a point*

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Box Elder
    Perhaps that's putting the cart way ahead of the horse since I've never seen you say you feel Jesus Christ is God and that he rose from the dead after his substitutionary death on the cross for sinners willing to accept his gift of salvation.
    Damn, if only f88 was part of the forum searches on mtbr to that end, eh? Eh? If that wouldn't make a convincing note to Gregg to bring us back into the search - I need to seek out Kept's affirmation of faith - I simply don't know what would.

    I never fail to appreciate your passive-aggressive tendencies when it comes to my specific beliefs.


    Just for you, I have broken out my New Testament studies notes, and I will write you something up tomorrow about Millennialism. But tomorrow. Because I am sleepy now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Box Elder
    You must be more self-absorbed than most anyone to not understand that there are tens of millions of people living in the U.S. alone who worship God and read and study his Holy word, as well as having a personal relationship with His son, Jesus Christ.

    A more valid question might be why anyone here would listen to your whacky predictions and angry tirades and not see them for anything other than attempts of a circus clown seeking attention because he has closed off every other meaningful human contact in his life. As Morrissey sang; you know your unlovable.


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    He didn't say 'average christian' he said 'evangelical christian', the kind that get up in your face and spout bible crap at you until you are baptised in their spittle and stinking of their breath. the kind that mark twain wrote a story about in his collection of religious stories (called The Bible According to Mark Twain where all the saints left heaven and went to hell because of all the loud rootin tootin bible thumpin evangelical christians flooding in and pissing everyone off.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by JM01
    Hmmm...I saw a sign in Toronto today
    The caption was witty enough, but the thought bubble was just a bit too much ... too overdone ... it would have been funnier with just the drawing and a "sigh," or something.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windjammer
    *still patiently waiting for a point*
    Box says this point is that Jesus is, hey, did you see those cougars, I've got to smoke some, I've got the ADD real, and what song is, I went rafting, what trail build, steep uphill, jammie time, DJ Bunnypants, and cougars, my wife works at the gym, hey whoa, Japanese tourists cutting tamarisk, bought, mortgage, interest rates, Honey, did you see the car key ... whoa .. what's, Jesus, raft guide, crystal meth, cougars and pin using bike, laundry, time for F-88, I like Bush, disk hurts, DWF can't work, cougars, trail out back, what time laundry, Ipod, song, who is beeping, I've got to check, I wonder about Nebraska, cougar. Ipod, push, click, spin song, hey .. whoa ... I like Jesus.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kept man
    The caption was witty enough, but the thought bubble was just a bit too much ... too overdone ... it would have been funnier with just the drawing and a "sigh," or something.
    I agree, but I've never seen you say you feel Jesus Christ is God and that he rose from the dead after his substitutionary death on the cross for sinners willing to accept his gift of salvation. And that kinda makes your point look weak. Not as weak as the WTC towers, but weak, like mild Thai food, sorta.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wasatch Walt
    Box says this point is that Jesus is, hey, did you see those cougars, I've got to smoke some, I've got the ADD real, and what song is, I went rafting, what trail build, steep uphill, jammie time, DJ Bunnypants, and cougars, my wife works at the gym, hey whoa, Japanese tourists cutting tamarisk, bought, mortgage, interest rates, Honey, did you see the car key ... whoa .. what's, Jesus, raft guide, crystal meth, cougars and pin using bike, laundry, time for F-88, I like Bush, disk hurts, DWF can't work, cougars, trail out back, what time laundry, Ipod, song, who is beeping, I've got to check, I wonder about Nebraska, cougar. Ipod, push, click, spin song, hey .. whoa ... I like Jesus.
    Why don't you sashay on over to the Wal-Mart thread and give me some back-up. You often try to sell yourself as the guy who stands up for the downtrodden, the poor. This is your chance to tell the well-heeled to give those folks a little breathin' room. But then you just talk cause you like the sound of what you say. You don't believe any of it. You don't practice any of it. You save the world by telling others what to drive, while you head off to Gooseberry or Fruita, or to Indonesia. Your energy consumption is as high as you are on your own sense of self-worth. Get in the game, Walt, and quit being a cheerleader in a clown suit.



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  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by FrozenK
    I agree, but I've never seen you say you feel Jesus Christ is God and that he rose from the dead after his substitutionary death on the cross for sinners willing to accept his gift of salvation. And that kinda makes your point look weak. Not as weak as the WTC towers, but weak, like mild Thai food, sorta.
    See, which really makes me feel like it might be a wasted effort to effectively transcribe the three pages of notes I have on Pauline Eschatology sitting next to me here ... though apparently I can't pick up my loaner 29er yet ... and I can't call the Mrs to say hello for another 15 minutes ... ah well.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by kept man
    See, which really makes me feel like it might be a wasted effort to effectively transcribe the three pages of notes I have on Pauline Eschatology sitting next to me here ... though apparently I can't pick up my loaner 29er yet ... and I can't call the Mrs to say hello for another 15 minutes ... ah well.

    Is there anyone here who takes more pleasure listening to the words that come out of their mouth than you do? You must be well pleased with yourself. So erudite, so clever.



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  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Box Elder
    Let's assume, for a moment, that you are not a little bit off and that you believe at least some small portion of the Bible and what it teaches about Christ's return. That may be asking a lot, but what is your take? Rapture? Tribulation? Millennium?
    Okay, first off what we can recognize right away is that Pauline (aka, NT) theology is hardly systematized ... it's not unusual that we try and treat it as such, given that we tend to be used to philosophy in treatise form. But with Paul, while we can see a trend towards a more systematic theology in his later writings - for instance, the development of a three-stage Christology (from a Second Adam to Exhaltation two stage Christology) by the time he's writing to the Philippians (see 2:6-11) - largely he is addressing specific issues in his letters as he goes along. But because of this piecemeal approach, I think we are provided with sufficient evidence to suggest that the basic 'authoritative' basis for believing in some form of actual Millennial events are unreliable, if not plain ol' wrong.

    So, let's take a look at 1st Thessalonians 4:14-18 ... here we start to see Paul talking about the day of the Lord - the Parousia - the Second Coming - what have you. And what does he say?

    "15 According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air."

    So what have we got? Well yes, we have the makings of some eschatology - the dead will inherit the Kingdom before the living - but it's pretty clear that Paul expected Jesus to return in his lifetime. Which, seeing as how my personal take on the whole Millennial thing is that it serves as a comforting thought but that we humans are just plain ol' wrong about it being an actual, physical event ... well, we'll continue that in another couple posts for you. This is enough to chew on for the moment.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Box Elder
    Is there anyone here who takes more pleasure listening to the words that come out of their mouth than you do? You must be well pleased with yourself. So erudite, so clever.
    Plus I have a very lovely singing voice. I have post one in a series on eschatology posted for you. Dig in!

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    Quote Originally Posted by kept man
    The caption was witty enough, but the thought bubble was just a bit too much ... too overdone ... it would have been funnier with just the drawing and a "sigh," or something.
    It's not your typical Toronto store...we call it "the butch girl" store, the staff wears comfortable shoes...they're still mad at the Little Dutch Boy for using his finger to plug the dike...


  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Box Elder
    Is there anyone here who takes more pleasure listening to the words that come out of their mouth than you do? You must be well pleased with yourself. So erudite, so clever.
    So! Part deux, then.

    Let's take a peek at 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12 ... now, yes, there are some questions regarding the genuine Pauline authorship of this epistle, but why don't we just go with it for now, eh?

    "1 Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers, 2 not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by some prophecy, report or letter supposed to have come from us, saying that the day of the Lord has already come. 3 Don't let anyone deceive you in any way, for (that day will not come) until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction. 4 He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God's temple, proclaiming himself to be God."

    So what can we glean from this passage? Further development of an eschatology, to be sure, but also a fairly obvious sense that people were expecting the Rapture - and were concerned about missing it - thousands of years ago. For instance, continuing on with verse 7:

    "7 For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way."

    So what do we have? Definitely we've got believers who are quite certain of a Millennial event. But fairly intrinsic to their ideas of what is (was) going to happen is the idea that these things were already playing out now (aka, then).

    ... and, as we now know, they were wrong. As we also do regarding the folks who were convinced of Millennial action around the close of the first Millennium; they were also wrong. And they even set off with the Crusades in mind to try and jump start things, eschatologically speaking.

    So what do we have? Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice, shame on me ... fool me three times, here at the close of the second Millennium? Really, what are we to think?

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