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  1. #1
    wot no bike?
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    Wissahickon weirdness

    Yesterday I went out for a late-afternoon ride, and during an ascension on some of the doubletrack on the west side heading south I came across three of the most backwards, strung-out, jacked-up, trailer-esque people I have seen in a loooong time -- two men and a woman (in their late 40s to mid 50s) just sitting by the side of the trail on a log, all three feverishly smoking cigarettes and putting back Milwalkee's Best. These people looked *jacked*, with five teeth between them, the woman muttering something devoid of any meaning. I can't describe how strange the whole situation was, you would probably have to have been there to really "appreicate" it. Anyway as I passed them I started to think about all the weird sh1t I've seen in the Wissahickon over the years, and how it seems that there's *always* something every once-in-a-while. It also reminds me why I would never let my GF hike alone. So, does anyone have any good stories about things you've come across in the Wissahickon?

  2. #2
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    Here's one

    Yesterday, I was relaxing with my girlfirend and her brother, sitting on a log enjoying a smoke and a couple of cold brews after 36 hours of non-stop methamphetamine ingestion. Out of nowhere comes this guy on a mountain bike, and my girlfriend called out "Hello, mighty fine day for a ride isn't it"? Apparently, the rider didn't speak English as he just looked at us sideways and hammered the pedals like he was being chased by a ghost.

    Just one of those things, I guess......

    Bob
    'If Wal-Mart sold parachutes, who would jump?' Frank Havnoonian (quoting his father) Drexel Hill Cyclery

  3. #3
    wot no bike?
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    LMAO

    -p

  4. #4
    Inbred Homebrewer
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    Quote Originally Posted by pahearn
    So, does anyone have any good stories about things you've come across in the Wissahickon?
    LOL @ Clyde's reply.

    The only really 'strange' encounter I've ever had was, one day, riding past that little cave-like structure (on the Valley Green Inn side) out just before the trail dumps you onto the path near Lincoln Drive (by the little historical 'monument-y' type thing?). I was just riding by, when three young girls came sort of stumbling out of the darkness onto the trail - wide-eyed, smiling and laughing hysterically while rambling about some sort of 'magic' this or that and trying to get me to stop to talk to them.

    The word 'mushroom' was never uttered, but I have a feeling there was some psilocybin involved in their cave-dwelling fun.

    It might have been funny, if not for the fact that they appeared to be around 14 years old.
    [SIZE="2"][/SIZE]"mmmm....Beeeeeeer." - Homer J. Simpson

  5. #5
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    Sorry.....

    Quote Originally Posted by pahearn
    LMAO

    -p
    Couldn't resist....
    'If Wal-Mart sold parachutes, who would jump?' Frank Havnoonian (quoting his father) Drexel Hill Cyclery

  6. #6
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    It was like 4 years ago, came across a body. Some dead homeless guy. Other people had already seen him and called the cops. Freaky. In the mid 90's almost ran over another guy sleeping next to the trail. Scared the crap out of him. He scared the crap out of me.

  7. #7
    wot no bike?
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    Yikes, that probably tops them all, a body.

    Years ago I was riding a trail that passes near one of the smaller bridges and, glancing under the bridge I noticed a man and a topless woman bathing under the bridge. Don't get all excited now, she was *disturbingly* unattractive. Likely a cousin of the folks I rode past yesterday, you know, Clyde and the crew.

    -p

  8. #8
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    I keep running across this guy at the top of the last hill on the opposite side of the inn. The dude rides an old Yeti FS and he's always smoking a doob.

    I have seen "neighborhood" kids on ATV's on the upper trails.

    Couple of years I got stuck in a parade on Forbidden Drive with 1000 people on horse in full Indian garb.

    I did a couple of night rides back in the day and learned the hard way never to ride Forbidden Drive at Night. Too many shady types wandering around

  9. #9
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    Last year i saw a jumper,
    he was dead on forbidden drive.

  10. #10
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    I saw a car jacked up on blocks with no wheels running on the Inn side about 3 years ago.

    -scoon

  11. #11
    Fun-O-Meter
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    I once came across a nude photo shoot. There was a naked woman and a photographer in one of the stream beds.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rich.grandzol
    I once came across a nude photo shoot. There was a naked woman and a photographer in one of the stream beds.

    I came across somthing like that at Blue Marsh once last year. I guy walking with a girl waring way too mutch makup to be hiking and just some spandex shorts and a sports bra. He was carying a blankit we were about 15miles in to the ride.

  13. #13
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    Prolly my sister

    Quote Originally Posted by pahearn
    Years ago I was riding a trail that passes near one of the smaller bridges and, glancing under the bridge I noticed a man and a topless woman bathing under the bridge. Don't get all excited now, she was *disturbingly* unattractive. Likely a cousin of the folks I rode past yesterday, you know, Clyde and the crew.

    -p
    3 teef and tatoos of stretch marks on her boobs? That's her.
    'If Wal-Mart sold parachutes, who would jump?' Frank Havnoonian (quoting his father) Drexel Hill Cyclery

  14. #14
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    The fence guy is interesting

    You know, the guy who looks to be using the fence to help him stretch down by Lincoln. If you have ever seen him, you know who I'm talking about. He wears a bandana and puts towels on the rails of the fence. My crew and I always joke that he's stuck in the fence from trying to crawl through it.

    It's no dead body or naked photo shoot, but it's definitely Wissy Weirdness.

    Jeremy

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by JST169
    You know, the guy who looks to be using the fence to help him stretch down by Lincoln. If you have ever seen him, you know who I'm talking about. He wears a bandana and puts towels on the rails of the fence. My crew and I always joke that he's stuck in the fence from trying to crawl through it.

    It's no dead body or naked photo shoot, but it's definitely Wissy Weirdness.

    Jeremy
    Dude, I know exactly who you mean. What is up with that guy?

    I got another one, but I am not sure if it qualifies as weird. A couple of years ago, I took part in the inaugural training session of the Delaware Valley Mountain Bike Patrol, at the Wiss, and the training was lead by the Ranger Corp.

    And during the training, the Ranger told us that Devil's Pool is scary with all of the "neighborhood" folk who use it as a pool/ drinking spot that even they dont go down there.

    I just thought it was kind of odd that the Rangers are scared of their own park, but then again, I dont think they are armed so I guess I cant really blame them.

  16. #16
    wot no bike?
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    I don't know, can you have stretch marks when they brush the ground?

  17. #17
    Inbred Homebrewer
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    Quote Originally Posted by JST169
    If you have ever seen him, you know who I'm talking about. He wears a bandana and puts towels on the rails of the fence.

    Jeremy
    Yeah, I've seen that guy too. If you hadn't mentioned his towels, I might not have known who you meant. There's always runners stretching along Forbidden Dr., but that guy's a character for sure. Saw him doing some strange brand of 'tai chi on the move' (for lack of better term) once, but usually he's just leaning against that fence stretching like he's going to bust out some killer ballet moves at any minute.
    [SIZE="2"][/SIZE]"mmmm....Beeeeeeer." - Homer J. Simpson

  18. #18
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    I have heard stories about people coming across naked runners during nightrides.

  19. #19
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    What you didn't notice was Clyde's group running behind them strumming their banjos.

  20. #20
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    Not in Wissahikon, but same park system. supposedly there is a dude who goes out hunting for truffles in Pennypack and has come across 3 bodies on different occasions.

    If you night ride in Pennypack you will see people fishing in the summer no matter how late at night it is. I've been there after midnight on night rides and there are still people fishing.

    And of course the people making out on benches, they just love our headlights.

  21. #21
    wot no bike?
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    The Welcoming Committee

    Ok I ran into the same three people again today, same place. I said "hey" as I climbed past them and one of the guys said, "Hey bro, you go dog!". They are hereafter officially known as The Welcoming Committee. I was dissappointed though that they weren't smoking or pounding beers. Maybe next time.

  22. #22
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    I wish we had people like this in Pittsburgh ...can you maybe send a few out here to liven it up?

  23. #23
    wot no bike?
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    "Yeah, yeeaah I was out looking for eh, truffles again, yeah and eh, yeah I found another body, officer... yeah that's the ticket".

    I think if I found bodies in the woods on multiple occassions I'd have to report the rest of them anonymously to save myself the obvious complications that come with finding not two but three dead bodies on three different occassions.

  24. #24
    Respect Your Trails
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    Oh man! I love the Wiss. I've seen the bizarre stretcher. The neighborhood swimmers. The homeless. The white hommies. Plenty of trash, graffitti, broken bikes, glass and tires....

    No dead bodies yet though. I'll simply consider myself lucky.

    And some people wonder why I always carry my pocketknife with me anytime I go out on a ride.

  25. #25
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    Pocket Knife? Try a 9mm Taurus Compact. I have a small inside the pants holster that I wear on the side. The bike shorts actually do a nice job of keeping it from flailing around.

    Its the only place I carry when I ride. I dont do much city riding anywhere since I have moved to the burbs.

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