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  1. #1
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    Wink True reason why roadies are grumpier!!(An Xmas Story)

    It's the lack of doo dads, and cool toys. And with Xmas coming it is even more relevant.

    Face it, compared to mountain bikes, they simply don't get all the cool bike technology, gadgets, gear, toys, and overall variety of cool stuff to drool over and talk about. So they are a little jealous and grumpy as a result. They just get the same stuff over and over and over for Xmas. Even Santa can only take so many wooden choo choo trains for piss sake.

    Lets go over a few things they miss the boat on:

    Frames:
    Roadies get the good old double diamond frame, and lets see here. Hmmmmm Did I mention they get double diamond frames?

    We get those, and every design under the sun, from Cannondale Super V's, to the Mantis Valkyrie.

    Forks:
    Roadies get rigid forks, and different forms of rigid forks.

    We get those plus suspension forks with all kinds of travel, and lock out doo dads to play with. We get Lefties, and double crown, and even Girvins(remember those)

    Rear suspension:
    Roadies get the Softride Beam. or a Brooks saddle.

    We again get multiple options, with more doo dads.(doo dads are good) Even shocks with brains, and don't forget the old Pro-flex's with elastomers.

    Packs:
    Roadies don't get packs, they kill your aerodynamic profile you numbskull.

    We get Camelbaks, and Dakine, and Ergon, and Wingnut, and even packs that carry chainsaws. How freaking cool is that. We get to cut down trees, top that!!

    Clothes:
    Roadies get spandex.(complete with man toes)

    We get those if we want. and camoflage colored baggies!!Camo is cool. And goes with chainsaws!! And we get armor!! Camo, armor, and chainsaws!! Top that.

    You can apply this thinking to every type of gear we have. Shoes, helmets, armor, gloves, packs, tires, wheels, bikes. We simply have so many more doo dads than they do!!

    So the next time a Roadie snubs his nose at you, and does not wave. Don't think "What an arrogant jackhole!!" Instead, feel a bit of pity and sadness for him. Have some empathy for him, knowing that his Christmas will be filled with more of the same stuff he got last year, and the year before, because there just are not any new doo dads for him.

    Then follow him home and cut down his Christmas tree with your chainsaw you had in your pack. That'll teach him not to wave at you

    Merry Christmas, and may you all get many cool doo dads. Except for you Roadies, you're just screwed.

  2. #2
    Hud
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    I suppose they can't even get a new drivetrain for christmas because they don't wear out.
    The twenty-nine inch wheel.

  3. #3
    spec4life???..smh...
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    i was thinkin of gettin a road bike for christmas just to cover the whole cycling spectrum...but when you put it that way...

    (BTW: good stuff)

  4. #4
    Davir
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    We were pre riding a racecourse that had been marked at our trails here in Tulsa OK. the race course happened to cross a paved bike / hike path with a sweeping down hill curve as we were crossing a roadie had to break some as we didnt see him coming no biggie just slow down a little. he got a bit irate Quote Damb mountain bikers, now i understand it was probably the only real excitement he would have on his ride were as our ride was full of thrilling rock gardens fast descents and flowy single track. i own a road bike and cut my riding teeth on one but its just not near as much fun.

  5. #5
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    I ride all three (Road, Cross, Mtn.) as does most everyone I ride with. I must say there is one advantage. I can grab anything, anytime out of the shop and ride with purpose anywhere. Thats nice. Now, instead of griping roadie, mountain biker ect...... Put up or shut up. Get out and ride!

    Did I mention, we have light snow and I am going out for a road ride right now. The choice? SS cross bike with fenders. Oh Yah.
    MUD


    My weiner is 10.5".....Oh wait...I'm holding this ruler backward.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hud
    I suppose they can't even get a new drivetrain for christmas because they don't wear out.
    The whole thing is meant to be "tongue in cheek". If you take it serious and get butt hurt and grumpy, wellllll, you might be a roadie.

    It's just meant to be humorous. I started riding on a Royce Union 10 speed. Sold my Murray Cheetah Slick for $20 and mowed lawns to buy it for $120 at Bi-Mart in 1973. I was 11 years old. I used to ride it 20 miles to my sisters, drink a grape soda and ride home. At 13 I rode it up to Crater Lake, alone.My first century. It was my adventuremobile.

    I probably put some of the first ever bicycle tracks on the NUT.(North Umpqua Trail) I would ride to Steamboat and ride on the Panther section, and ride home 25 miles.

    Mountain biking is just a much better extension of that first adventuring I did on that road bike. If there were no cars on the roads I might still road ride, but mountain biking is just so much more fun and adventurous, without the cars. I just like to ride.

  7. #7
    addicted to chunk
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    Pretty funny
    Maybe we should give em a hug?.......nah.....lol
    Riding.....

  8. #8
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    Poor roadies!

    Now I need to send out some xmas cards to make em feel better.

    Don't worry I will make sure it's carbon fiber, that way they will feel like they got a new toy

  9. #9
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    Oh wait - they get electronic shifting! 'Cause we all know how tough shifting is when you're built like a starved jockey. All in fun (I'm a roadie now too).

  10. #10
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    roadies smell like cabbage

  11. #11
    Daniel the Dog
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    Sore arses

    It is the red butts that they get from being on the saddle for hours on end. Good stuff....I'm a bit of a closet roadie in my own mind

    Jaybo

  12. #12
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    Ooh that smell

    The bitterness is from riding in pace lines and smelling the farts....sad but true.

  13. #13
    you do this at my size
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    Ride it all then you're never bored.
    I do love the comparison though.
    if you don't feel like riding, that's usually when you need it most

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eastcoast Manik
    Poor roadies!

    Now I need to send out some xmas cards to make em feel better.

    Don't worry I will make sure it's carbon fiber, that way they will feel like they got a new toy
    I like that idea.

    I think that the only way they get any new bling is if someone makes it out of carbon fiber.

    "Here you go, we couldn't come up with any cool braking systems, so here are your new carbon fiber sidepull brakes." "Yeah,I know its 1800's design, but hey, it's carbon fiber!!

  15. #15
    !Vamos, flaco!
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    Yawn. Another steroetyping roadies versus mountain bikers thread. I have a hard time deciding whether I hate "roadies" or "mountain bikers" more. This thread makes a strong case for the latter.
    "Fact is only what you believe; fact and fiction work as a team." Jack Johnson

  16. #16
    the test dummy
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    lol
    Quote Originally Posted by craftworks750
    Riding a mtb is like a reset button, 10 mins in and there is nothing else in the world that matters.
    my bikes
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    Ben

  17. #17
    bi-winning
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    You could very easily write the opposite version of this. Mountain bikers are never happy, because no matter what they get, there is always something cooler that comes along, road bikes "just work" etc.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.


    Shorthills Cycling Club

  18. #18
    zrm
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    Quote Originally Posted by rkj__
    You could very easily write the opposite version of this. Mountain bikers are never happy, because no matter what they get, there is always something cooler that comes along, road bikes "just work" etc.
    Ding Ding! my road bike, while pricey at purchase, has consumed far less of my hard earned paycheck than my Mountain bike.

    MTB chain: 500-800 miles before replacing depending on conditions
    RB chain: 3-4 times that.

    MTB rims: 1500-3000 miles depending on terrain and rider
    RB rims: Practically unlimited unless seriously crashed

    MTB tires: 1000-1500 miles depending on the tire
    RB tires: 3000 - 4000 miles.

    MTB shock/fork rebuild: once every 3000 miles
    RB shock rebuild: Never

    Amount of time before a MTB frame design is obsolete: 2 months
    Amount of time before a RB frame design is obsolete: A human lifetime

    Life span of MTB big chainring: 2000-3000 miles for XC rider. 200 miles for radster FR/DH
    Life span for RB big chainring: Almost the life of the frame

    Chicks who think shaved legs and Lycra look hot on a guy: Lots and lots
    Chicks who think guys wearing misshapen gansta rapper inspired potato sacks and storm trooper pads look hot: Very few

    Hot chicks in MTB: Lots
    Hot chicks on RB: Lots (We'll call this one a draw)

    Conclusion: Both bikes put a smile on my face but my MTB puts a hurt on my wallet.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by zrm
    Ding Ding! my road bike, while pricey at purchase, has consumed far less of my hard earned paycheck than my Mountain bike.

    MTB chain: 500-800 miles before replacing depending on conditions
    RB chain: 3-4 times that.

    MTB rims: 1500-3000 miles depending on terrain and rider
    RB rims: Practically unlimited unless seriously crashed

    MTB tires: 1000-1500 miles depending on the tire
    RB tires: 3000 - 4000 miles.

    MTB shock/fork rebuild: once every 3000 miles
    RB shock rebuild: Never

    Amount of time before a MTB frame design is obsolete: 2 months
    Amount of time before a RB frame design is obsolete: A human lifetime

    Life span of MTB big chainring: 2000-3000 miles for XC rider. 200 miles for radster FR/DH
    Life span for RB big chainring: Almost the life of the frame

    Chicks who think shaved legs and Lycra look hot on a guy: Lots and lots
    Chicks who think guys wearing misshapen gansta rapper inspired potato sacks and storm trooper pads look hot: Very few

    Hot chicks in MTB: Lots
    Hot chicks on RB: Lots (We'll call this one a draw)

    Conclusion: Both bikes put a smile on my face but my MTB puts a hurt on my wallet.
    You are who they invented rigid singlespeeds for.

  20. #20
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    Another way to look at it...

    Roadies who don't mountain bike are usually *****
    Mountain bikers who don't road ride are usually slow.

    Just sayin

  21. #21
    mtbr member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pabs
    Yawn. Another steroetyping roadies versus mountain bikers thread. I have a hard time deciding whether I hate "roadies" or "mountain bikers" more. This thread makes a strong case for the latter.
    All the way to post #15 before I get the whiny post on stereotyping roadies?

    You're slacking.

    You forgot to read in my other response, that I actually started on road bikes. It is about all there were in the 70's. I spent many, many hours getting passed by crazy fast log trucks on narrow Oregon roads. Now, I just don't trust all the old, blind, drunk, Tucson drivers. At least the log truck drivers had some skill. I have no desire to deal with the stupid car drivers. It is much more fun to be out in the wilderness.

    Face it, stereotypes usually come from a little bit of truth. Nothing wrong with having a little fun with it if you have a sense of humor. I'll see if I can have Santa put one in your stocking. I'm not sure if they come in carbon fiber though.

  22. #22
    mtbr member
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldZaskar
    Another way to look at it...

    Roadies who don't mountain bike are usually *****
    Mountain bikers who don't road ride are usually slow.

    Just sayin
    I'm old and slow, and I still have fun on my mountain bike. Just sayin.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pabs
    Yawn. Another steroetyping roadies versus mountain bikers thread. I have a hard time deciding whether I hate "roadies" or "mountain bikers" more. This thread makes a strong case for the latter.
    you're given yourself away too easy dude.

    but nice avatar. Is that Stacy settin' up for a Burt?

  24. #24
    Rider of Bikes
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    Quote Originally Posted by ITSIN8
    The bitterness is from riding in pace lines and smelling the farts....sad but true.

    Yes True.

    On my first road race i'll never forget the smell of deodorant soap.

    So here are other reasons roadies are grumpy.......(the following may or may not be from personal experience)

    Youths yelling rrrrroooooooodie!!!! at them from their honda civics.

    Scratches in their carbon frames.

    Dirty White bar tape

    Dirty Chain

    Walking into a shop in spandex and the having men stare at them. (They prefer women to stare at them.)

    Too many lame scars from falling over at a stop light or from shaving their legs.

    Having family members pointing and laughing at their shaved legs at a summer party.

    Having a wrinkle in their jersey because it increases wind resistance.

    Another roadie not waving back.

    Seeing mountain bikers hitting a trail while zooming by on the tarmac.

    Finally, not being able to average over 21mph for no apparent reason.

  25. #25
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    has anyone mentioned tires yet? Roadies get to choose from a slick... or another slick.

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