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  1. #1
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    Wink True reason why roadies are grumpier!!(An Xmas Story)

    It's the lack of doo dads, and cool toys. And with Xmas coming it is even more relevant.

    Face it, compared to mountain bikes, they simply don't get all the cool bike technology, gadgets, gear, toys, and overall variety of cool stuff to drool over and talk about. So they are a little jealous and grumpy as a result. They just get the same stuff over and over and over for Xmas. Even Santa can only take so many wooden choo choo trains for piss sake.

    Lets go over a few things they miss the boat on:

    Frames:
    Roadies get the good old double diamond frame, and lets see here. Hmmmmm Did I mention they get double diamond frames?

    We get those, and every design under the sun, from Cannondale Super V's, to the Mantis Valkyrie.

    Forks:
    Roadies get rigid forks, and different forms of rigid forks.

    We get those plus suspension forks with all kinds of travel, and lock out doo dads to play with. We get Lefties, and double crown, and even Girvins(remember those)

    Rear suspension:
    Roadies get the Softride Beam. or a Brooks saddle.

    We again get multiple options, with more doo dads.(doo dads are good) Even shocks with brains, and don't forget the old Pro-flex's with elastomers.

    Packs:
    Roadies don't get packs, they kill your aerodynamic profile you numbskull.

    We get Camelbaks, and Dakine, and Ergon, and Wingnut, and even packs that carry chainsaws. How freaking cool is that. We get to cut down trees, top that!!

    Clothes:
    Roadies get spandex.(complete with man toes)

    We get those if we want. and camoflage colored baggies!!Camo is cool. And goes with chainsaws!! And we get armor!! Camo, armor, and chainsaws!! Top that.

    You can apply this thinking to every type of gear we have. Shoes, helmets, armor, gloves, packs, tires, wheels, bikes. We simply have so many more doo dads than they do!!

    So the next time a Roadie snubs his nose at you, and does not wave. Don't think "What an arrogant jackhole!!" Instead, feel a bit of pity and sadness for him. Have some empathy for him, knowing that his Christmas will be filled with more of the same stuff he got last year, and the year before, because there just are not any new doo dads for him.

    Then follow him home and cut down his Christmas tree with your chainsaw you had in your pack. That'll teach him not to wave at you

    Merry Christmas, and may you all get many cool doo dads. Except for you Roadies, you're just screwed.

  2. #2
    Hud
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    I suppose they can't even get a new drivetrain for christmas because they don't wear out.
    The twenty-nine inch wheel.

  3. #3
    spec4life???..smh...
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    i was thinkin of gettin a road bike for christmas just to cover the whole cycling spectrum...but when you put it that way...

    (BTW: good stuff)

  4. #4
    Davir
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    We were pre riding a racecourse that had been marked at our trails here in Tulsa OK. the race course happened to cross a paved bike / hike path with a sweeping down hill curve as we were crossing a roadie had to break some as we didnt see him coming no biggie just slow down a little. he got a bit irate Quote Damb mountain bikers, now i understand it was probably the only real excitement he would have on his ride were as our ride was full of thrilling rock gardens fast descents and flowy single track. i own a road bike and cut my riding teeth on one but its just not near as much fun.

  5. #5
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    I ride all three (Road, Cross, Mtn.) as does most everyone I ride with. I must say there is one advantage. I can grab anything, anytime out of the shop and ride with purpose anywhere. Thats nice. Now, instead of griping roadie, mountain biker ect...... Put up or shut up. Get out and ride!

    Did I mention, we have light snow and I am going out for a road ride right now. The choice? SS cross bike with fenders. Oh Yah.
    MUD


    My weiner is 10.5".....Oh wait...I'm holding this ruler backward.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hud
    I suppose they can't even get a new drivetrain for christmas because they don't wear out.
    The whole thing is meant to be "tongue in cheek". If you take it serious and get butt hurt and grumpy, wellllll, you might be a roadie.

    It's just meant to be humorous. I started riding on a Royce Union 10 speed. Sold my Murray Cheetah Slick for $20 and mowed lawns to buy it for $120 at Bi-Mart in 1973. I was 11 years old. I used to ride it 20 miles to my sisters, drink a grape soda and ride home. At 13 I rode it up to Crater Lake, alone.My first century. It was my adventuremobile.

    I probably put some of the first ever bicycle tracks on the NUT.(North Umpqua Trail) I would ride to Steamboat and ride on the Panther section, and ride home 25 miles.

    Mountain biking is just a much better extension of that first adventuring I did on that road bike. If there were no cars on the roads I might still road ride, but mountain biking is just so much more fun and adventurous, without the cars. I just like to ride.

  7. #7
    All fat, all the time.
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    Pretty funny
    Maybe we should give em a hug?.......nah.....lol

  8. #8
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    Poor roadies!

    Now I need to send out some xmas cards to make em feel better.

    Don't worry I will make sure it's carbon fiber, that way they will feel like they got a new toy

  9. #9
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    Oh wait - they get electronic shifting! 'Cause we all know how tough shifting is when you're built like a starved jockey. All in fun (I'm a roadie now too).

  10. #10
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    roadies smell like cabbage

  11. #11
    Daniel the Dog
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    Sore arses

    It is the red butts that they get from being on the saddle for hours on end. Good stuff....I'm a bit of a closet roadie in my own mind

    Jaybo

  12. #12
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    Ooh that smell

    The bitterness is from riding in pace lines and smelling the farts....sad but true.

  13. #13
    you do this at my size
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    Ride it all then you're never bored.
    I do love the comparison though.
    if you don't feel like riding, that's usually when you need it most

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eastcoast Manik
    Poor roadies!

    Now I need to send out some xmas cards to make em feel better.

    Don't worry I will make sure it's carbon fiber, that way they will feel like they got a new toy
    I like that idea.

    I think that the only way they get any new bling is if someone makes it out of carbon fiber.

    "Here you go, we couldn't come up with any cool braking systems, so here are your new carbon fiber sidepull brakes." "Yeah,I know its 1800's design, but hey, it's carbon fiber!!

  15. #15
    !Vamos, flaco!
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    Yawn. Another steroetyping roadies versus mountain bikers thread. I have a hard time deciding whether I hate "roadies" or "mountain bikers" more. This thread makes a strong case for the latter.
    "Fact is only what you believe; fact and fiction work as a team." Jack Johnson

  16. #16
    the test dummy
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    lol
    Quote Originally Posted by craftworks750
    Riding a mtb is like a reset button, 10 mins in and there is nothing else in the world that matters.
    my bikes
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    Ben

  17. #17
    bi-winning
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    You could very easily write the opposite version of this. Mountain bikers are never happy, because no matter what they get, there is always something cooler that comes along, road bikes "just work" etc.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  18. #18
    zrm
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    Quote Originally Posted by rkj__
    You could very easily write the opposite version of this. Mountain bikers are never happy, because no matter what they get, there is always something cooler that comes along, road bikes "just work" etc.
    Ding Ding! my road bike, while pricey at purchase, has consumed far less of my hard earned paycheck than my Mountain bike.

    MTB chain: 500-800 miles before replacing depending on conditions
    RB chain: 3-4 times that.

    MTB rims: 1500-3000 miles depending on terrain and rider
    RB rims: Practically unlimited unless seriously crashed

    MTB tires: 1000-1500 miles depending on the tire
    RB tires: 3000 - 4000 miles.

    MTB shock/fork rebuild: once every 3000 miles
    RB shock rebuild: Never

    Amount of time before a MTB frame design is obsolete: 2 months
    Amount of time before a RB frame design is obsolete: A human lifetime

    Life span of MTB big chainring: 2000-3000 miles for XC rider. 200 miles for radster FR/DH
    Life span for RB big chainring: Almost the life of the frame

    Chicks who think shaved legs and Lycra look hot on a guy: Lots and lots
    Chicks who think guys wearing misshapen gansta rapper inspired potato sacks and storm trooper pads look hot: Very few

    Hot chicks in MTB: Lots
    Hot chicks on RB: Lots (We'll call this one a draw)

    Conclusion: Both bikes put a smile on my face but my MTB puts a hurt on my wallet.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by zrm
    Ding Ding! my road bike, while pricey at purchase, has consumed far less of my hard earned paycheck than my Mountain bike.

    MTB chain: 500-800 miles before replacing depending on conditions
    RB chain: 3-4 times that.

    MTB rims: 1500-3000 miles depending on terrain and rider
    RB rims: Practically unlimited unless seriously crashed

    MTB tires: 1000-1500 miles depending on the tire
    RB tires: 3000 - 4000 miles.

    MTB shock/fork rebuild: once every 3000 miles
    RB shock rebuild: Never

    Amount of time before a MTB frame design is obsolete: 2 months
    Amount of time before a RB frame design is obsolete: A human lifetime

    Life span of MTB big chainring: 2000-3000 miles for XC rider. 200 miles for radster FR/DH
    Life span for RB big chainring: Almost the life of the frame

    Chicks who think shaved legs and Lycra look hot on a guy: Lots and lots
    Chicks who think guys wearing misshapen gansta rapper inspired potato sacks and storm trooper pads look hot: Very few

    Hot chicks in MTB: Lots
    Hot chicks on RB: Lots (We'll call this one a draw)

    Conclusion: Both bikes put a smile on my face but my MTB puts a hurt on my wallet.
    You are who they invented rigid singlespeeds for.

  20. #20
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    Another way to look at it...

    Roadies who don't mountain bike are usually *****
    Mountain bikers who don't road ride are usually slow.

    Just sayin

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pabs
    Yawn. Another steroetyping roadies versus mountain bikers thread. I have a hard time deciding whether I hate "roadies" or "mountain bikers" more. This thread makes a strong case for the latter.
    All the way to post #15 before I get the whiny post on stereotyping roadies?

    You're slacking.

    You forgot to read in my other response, that I actually started on road bikes. It is about all there were in the 70's. I spent many, many hours getting passed by crazy fast log trucks on narrow Oregon roads. Now, I just don't trust all the old, blind, drunk, Tucson drivers. At least the log truck drivers had some skill. I have no desire to deal with the stupid car drivers. It is much more fun to be out in the wilderness.

    Face it, stereotypes usually come from a little bit of truth. Nothing wrong with having a little fun with it if you have a sense of humor. I'll see if I can have Santa put one in your stocking. I'm not sure if they come in carbon fiber though.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldZaskar
    Another way to look at it...

    Roadies who don't mountain bike are usually *****
    Mountain bikers who don't road ride are usually slow.

    Just sayin
    I'm old and slow, and I still have fun on my mountain bike. Just sayin.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pabs
    Yawn. Another steroetyping roadies versus mountain bikers thread. I have a hard time deciding whether I hate "roadies" or "mountain bikers" more. This thread makes a strong case for the latter.
    you're given yourself away too easy dude.

    but nice avatar. Is that Stacy settin' up for a Burt?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by ITSIN8
    The bitterness is from riding in pace lines and smelling the farts....sad but true.

    Yes True.

    On my first road race i'll never forget the smell of deodorant soap.

    So here are other reasons roadies are grumpy.......(the following may or may not be from personal experience)

    Youths yelling rrrrroooooooodie!!!! at them from their honda civics.

    Scratches in their carbon frames.

    Dirty White bar tape

    Dirty Chain

    Walking into a shop in spandex and the having men stare at them. (They prefer women to stare at them.)

    Too many lame scars from falling over at a stop light or from shaving their legs.

    Having family members pointing and laughing at their shaved legs at a summer party.

    Having a wrinkle in their jersey because it increases wind resistance.

    Another roadie not waving back.

    Seeing mountain bikers hitting a trail while zooming by on the tarmac.

    Finally, not being able to average over 21mph for no apparent reason.

  25. #25
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    has anyone mentioned tires yet? Roadies get to choose from a slick... or another slick.

  26. #26
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    They should be happy- they have the most outrageous bling (Zipp- you can read it from the moon).

    I think they get upset because drivers don't understand that 'share the road' means cyclists get to ride 2-3 abreast on two lane roads. Plus, odds are good at least one of them will get maimed at any given Critical Mass event...
    Now go home and get your ******* shinebox.

  27. #27
    bi-winning
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigSharks
    They should be happy- they have the most outrageous bling (Zipp- you can read it from the moon).

    I think they get upset because drivers don't understand that 'share the road' means cyclists get to ride 2-3 abreast on two lane roads. Plus, odds are good at least one of them will get maimed at any given Critical Mass event...
    Your post is the first one in this thread that actually made me laugh.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  28. #28
    Well....blow me down!!
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    I have both It is like comparing a 4x4 vehicle with a Ferrari~
    Road and Dirt is my middle name!!

  29. #29
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    pretty lame. some people should broaden their horizons. a bike is a bike. bikes are fun, you should ride them.

    mountain bikes are slower than hell. riding road is a completely different experience, some of you guys are selling yourselves short being so elitist to write it off. same goes for the roadies who refuse to ride dirt.

  30. #30
    bi-winning
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    Why so serious?

    Quote Originally Posted by One Pivot
    pretty lame. some people should broaden their horizons. a bike is a bike. bikes are fun, you should ride them.

    mountain bikes are slower than hell. riding road is a completely different experience, some of you guys are selling yourselves short being so elitist to write it off. same goes for the roadies who refuse to ride dirt.
    There are at least 20 smiley emoticons in the original post. Try not to take it so seriously.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  31. #31
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    i take very little seriously.. maybe even things i should take more seriously, i dont

    theres tons of anti-road mountain bikers.. theres a lot of guys who ride both who have good senses of humor about it. this just seems to point towards the first, not the second. compare it to sherpas post.

    you're more aero with a camelbak too

  32. #32
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    besides, we got the rigid 29er guys to make fun of

  33. #33
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    Thanks cause i'm proud to wear cargo shorts and have shaved legs....crap, did I just say that in public. I swear I do not ride bikes in Massachusetts......ehhhhhhh i can be found Mtbing in ehhhhhh uhhhhhh.......

  34. #34
    Binghamton '14
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    someone said chainsaw....and i have 3.
    Husqy: 390xp with a 32in bar
    Husqy: 455 rancher with a 20 in bar
    Echo tree saw over 12 years old.

    Between me and my dad in the past year in a half we have felled at least 60 trees on our property.

    Now here is when the Roadies will start to b*tch.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails True reason why roadies are grumpier!!(An Xmas Story)-dadxsas.jpg  

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  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgellekanao
    I have both It is like comparing a 4x4 vehicle with a Ferrari~
    the people who are big into mud bogging and offroading are surprisingly the same people who love fast cars.
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  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Pivot
    pretty lame. some people should broaden their horizons. a bike is a bike. bikes are fun, you should ride them.

    mountain bikes are slower than hell. riding road is a completely different experience, some of you guys are selling yourselves short being so elitist to write it off. same goes for the roadies who refuse to ride dirt.
    Gee, did you read the post where I said I started riding on the road?

    Here, I'll write your Christmas letter for you this year: "Dear Santa, please give me a sense of humor, because if you don't I'm gonna become a roadie, and never wave at anyone ever again".

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnsD90
    Between me and my dad in the past year in a half we have felled at least 60 trees on our property.

    Now here is when the Roadies will start to b*tch.
    Darn, now I'm really in hot water.

    I used to be a timber faller in Oregon. I fell at least 50,000 trees.

    Used mostly Stihl and Husqvarna with 36" or 42" bars. Had one Sachs Dolmar with a 60" bar on it for the big stuff. Biggest that I cut down with it was 8 1/2 feet. Really an adrenaline rush standing next to it when she goes.

    Donning flame suit.

  38. #38
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    BTW roadies don't B*tch we cry......Also, the cutting down trees things is cool cause my mom says I have legs like tree stumps.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgellekanao
    I have both It is like comparing a 4x4 vehicle with a Ferrari~
    I was thinking more like comparing sex with a woman, and sex with yourself.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by twowheelsdown2002
    Gee, did you read the post where I said I started riding on the road?

    Here, I'll write your Christmas letter for you this year: "Dear Santa, please give me a sense of humor, because if you don't I'm gonna become a roadie, and never wave at anyone ever again".
    everyone in the 70's had a 10 speed what are you riding on the road these days? we've just been doing the same rehashed roadie pokes for years now. the roadies even have better roadie pokes.

  41. #41
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    Roadies are uptight because they are too worried about their health to smoke weed.

  42. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by twowheelsdown2002
    Darn, now I'm really in hot water.

    I used to be a timber faller in Oregon. I fell at least 50,000 trees.

    Used mostly Stihl and Husqvarna with 36" or 42" bars. Had one Sachs Dolmar with a 60" bar on it for the big stuff. Biggest that I cut down with it was 8 1/2 feet. Really an adrenaline rush standing next to it when she goes.

    Donning flame suit.
    nothing like the adrenaline rush of felling a leaning tree that has a good chance of landing on the house, or the tree that went backwards on us. It gets scarier when you have your house involved. Biggest ive done is a 36in tree.
    Last edited by JohnsD90; 12-05-2009 at 06:35 AM.
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  43. #43
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    Actually, being a long time cyclist and pretty new to the internet. Yes, I just discovered these boards three years ago when I moved to where it snows in winter. I have learned several things.

    All road bikers are faster on the internet than in real life.
    All mountain bikers can climb better on the net than in real life.

    The morons in the road bike world are snobs who own way expensive bikes and cant keep up.
    The morons in the mountain bike world are punk kids that still cant keep up.

    From my prospective I dont see this kind of mindless dribble on the road bike side. Here there is alot of griping going on. There it seems to be biking.

    I may be wrong but there seems to be alot of children here. They would rather sit here and gripe about this bike and that then get off their a$$es and get in shape.

    Dont worry about flaming me here. You are faster, cooler or whatever. People like me will get sick of listening to it and move on. I will go ride.

    Camshaft213- That is a show of true intelligence. You can sit around with your loser friends and smoke. When it comes time to ride you will get your a$$ handed to you. Dirt or road.


    You all have a nice time with this one. I am going for a ride.
    MUD


    My weiner is 10.5".....Oh wait...I'm holding this ruler backward.

  44. #44
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    I can see the humour of it, but I always tend to choose sides with the ones made fun of.

    For me, I'm just a cyclist making the best of it, no matter what bike I'm on.

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnsD90
    nothing like the adrenaline rush of felling a leaning tree that has a good chance of landing on the house, or the tree that went backwards on us. It gets scarier when you have your house involved. Biggest ive done is a 36in tree.
    I did some falling jobs like that. One had a 4 footer about 200 feet tall that was on a very steep hill about a hundred feet above the house, and leaning perfectly toward it. I had to put a dutchmen cut in it to help turn it, and my chest was so tight the whole time, I could barely breath. It would have destroyed the house if I would have lost that one.

    What a sigh of relief when it went where it was supposed to go.

  46. #46
    Maaaaan
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Pivot
    besides, we got the rigid 29er guys to make fun of
    Those are rodies that don't know how to work on high tech 26" wheels and suspension...

    Really, they are grumpy because of RoadbikeREVIEW.com
    That website actually refers some reviews back over here, he, he.
    Maybe we should all go over to their "lounge" forum and start a "Merry X-mas from MTBR thread.
    I wonder how they would react to that.
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  47. #47
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    Smile I knew I would stir the pot with this a little.

    It's all in fun, but I did know going in that I would get some real "butt hurt" replies, and of course would get accusations of being close minded. That is part of the fun.

    Now, I'll explain so you don't think I am all just another close minded roadie hater.

    Like I said earlier, I started my cycling adventures on an old road bike. I put a zillion miles on that thing and had some great adventures. The most memorable was riding up to Crater Lake rim at 7,500 feet at age 13 all by myself despite having to hide under trees from a hail storm. I was a skinny wimpy kid at team sports, but most kids would have quit, and cycling brought out a different kind of "inner strength" that I know carried me through years of falling timber in snow and rain later in life.

    I got into mountain biking in 1985, and sold the road bike. Later I got back into road biking again in the late 90's. My favorite road ride was in Oregon. I had a 45 mile very, very hilly loop that I loved to ride at about 10pm with lights. Almost no traffic, and just the sound of crickets, and increased sense of speed in the darkness. You might get passed by 2 cars the entire ride. And standing and hammering up the climbs, I pretended to be Lance Armstrong giving the "look back" at Jan Ullrich as I powered away to take the stage.

    There was a road group in town, but they were extremely clique!! I worked at a shop selling mostly mountain bikes, and the road riders mostly went to a shop that the owner was only a road biker. Every time I saw the ride groups on the road, no matter how much I waved, they never once waved back. So there is part of that "roadie myth" that unfortunately some seem to maintain. Hard not to say to ones self "I guess it actually is true what they say about roadies being elitist." There are those out there that perpetuate the myth, just like there are punk downhillers with no courtesy that perpetuate other myths about mountain bikers. I don't take it all too seriously, and like to have fun with the differences.

    Now I am in Tucson, and I live right by Tucson Mountain Park. There is one very nice road here to ride with curves and hills and scenery. Unfortunately it also comes with no shoulder whatsoever, and lots of tourists gawking at cactus. Not a good combo. So I sold the Allez, and the Roubaix, and me and the girlfriend stick to the trails. Hard to justify going on a road ride when you got 100 miles of trails out the door.

    So there, I actually like riding any kind of bikes. I just wish the roads were a more friendly place to ride. I'm not into sucking car exhaust and dodging old, blind drivers, and tourists. And I still wish more road bikers would wave.

  48. #48
    Steady Creepin'
    Reputation: LuMach's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
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    Hate to say it, but roadies win in the end (or until they get hit by a Dodge Ram)... they can take their bikes anywhere anytime, we have to worry about rain, trail damage, and having the few places we have left to ride being made off-limits to MTB's.

    - one demoralized MTB'er

  49. #49
    IdontShootPeopleAnyMore
    Reputation: DriveByBikeShooting's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
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    ... the roadies I know are grumpy 'casue they save weight by sitting directly on their seatposts with no saddle...
    What mountain bike forum do pirates use? .....



    MTB-arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

  50. #50
    mtbr member
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    Oct 2009
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    Well out here in Socal I can hit the trails from my house or head to the beach from my house. One way is dirt and road or road only. If you don`t cover the street and the dirt you are missing out, besides the roadie chicks are way hotter and more plentiful than the dirt girls, IMHO.

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