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Thread: Terrible News

  1. #1
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    Terrible News

    Today, approximately 2 hours ago, I found out that my father suffered from a heart attack and died mountain biking. I am struck with grief and pain, and don't know how I'm going to cope with this.
    Will someday be living in Alaska with 2 pooches

  2. #2
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    Very sorry to hear about your loss. Stay strong brother. Make sure to keep riding.

    John

  3. #3
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    Terrible News

    My condolences to you and your whole family.
    On the brighter side think that at least your dad died doing what he loved and not laying in bed suffering over a long period of time.
    We do not stop playing because we grow old;
    We grow old because we stop playing

  4. #4
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    Brother, we are here for you, as much as we can be through the interwebs. I would second the fact that he passed doing something he must have loved doing, and I can only hope that when my time comes, I am doing the same thing. Stay strong, think of the positive times you had with him, and when it gets tough, get on your bike and get out and ride. It is so therapeutic. Peace.
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    So very sorry to hear. My thoughts are with you and your family. Like others have said, at least he was doing something he loved and I am sure he would tell you to keep riding. My after work ride today will have me thinking a lot about life after reading your post. Ride on.

  6. #6
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    wow, sorry to hear....condolences and prayers to you and your family. And, like others have said, may we all be lucky enough to pass doing something we love and not in a bed hooked up to tubes and wires.
    I was a runner when my dad passed away and time on the trail helped a lot. When it gets tough, go ride...

  7. #7
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    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

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    I know somewhat how you feel. My dad died unexpectedly from a heart attack back in 2007 while he was deer hunting. As others have stated, the one thing I was grateful for was that he died doing something he loved to do. The coming weeks and months will be very difficult. I coped the best by remembering the good times we had together. I still have days when it's difficult. It won't be easy but you will get through it. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

  9. #9
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    Such sad, sad news and I am so sorry for your loss. Many difficult days lie ahead; comfort you family as much as you can and let them comfort you in return.

  10. #10
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    Very sorry to hear. I lost my father who was also my best friend in Feb. It's not easy to cope with I know, but it does get better. Lean on people right now, don't stand by yourself.

  11. #11
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    Aloha Muff,

    So sorry to hear of your loss. I can only imagine how hard and painful this must be. I lost my dad back in 1997 and not a day goes by I don't think about him and his advice and fun times. I hope you find peace and joy some how, some way in the future.

  12. #12
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    Sorry for your loss.

    If its any consolation, if I had to choose to die, I would choose that way over struggling through months of chemotherapy.
    Nothing is impossible to him who will try. Alexander the Great

  13. #13
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    My sincere condolences to you and your family Muff. How old was your dad?

  14. #14
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    51 years old.
    Will someday be living in Alaska with 2 pooches

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    Terrible News

    I am so sorry. I can remember 20 years ago standing in my dorm room being told on the phone that my Dad had a heart attack, followed by the terrible words, he didn't make it. Time helps, but in the meanwhile, one foot in front of the other. As others have said, riding will help you get through the pain.
    Riding slowly since 1977.

  16. #16
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    So young. So sad for you and your family. My condolences. I'll be 57 in a little over a month. Forgive me for saying that's the way I want to leave this world.
    The older I get the better I was...

  17. #17
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    My condolences to you and your family.
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  18. #18
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    Sorry for your loss. Was your dad a regular mtbr? Was he alone or with others?
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  19. #19
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    Sorry to hear about your loss, I pray God will give you peace and comfort.
    I don't use Strava. Don't need an application to tell me I am slow because I already know.

  20. #20
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    Sorry for your loss. God speed.

    Ride your your bike and celebrate his life. He'll be watching.

  21. #21
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    Be strong. Time will ease your pain - just let it go by. Rely on the rest of your family, and friends to keep you going.

    Peace.

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  22. #22
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    Wow, that is really terrible news. 51, is way to young to go. My apologies and condolencies for you and your family at this difficult time.

    I lost my Father 5 years ago and it seems like yesterday. Like others have said, not a single day goes by when I don't think about him.

    The next several months are probably going to be pretty rough. If he is still married to your mother than expect it to be extremely rough for her as well. You need to be strong for her. I hate to say it, but it is probably going to get worse before it gets better. I had a really hard time with losing my father as did my siblings.

    Be happy that he went the way he did though. My dad had a year in the hospital that ended really rough with a tracheatomy and a feeding tube. My poor mother couldn't let go.

    Just remember although it's cliche, time heals all wounds. When I know think of him I think happy thoughts and memories rather than the anger from earlier.

    Try to remember the best memories you had with him when you think of him.

  23. #23
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    Sorry for your loss!

    Unfortunately 51 isn't so unusual. I'm 55 and not very social - only a few close friends. I've had two friends and another's wife died in last couple years. All in the 50 -60 range. Maybe it's me - that's like a 50% friend loss rate.

    Your Mom -
    You need to buck up and help her with all the post death stuff that is going to happen. She will not be in shape to make good financial decisions and sharks are trolling for a meal. Question funeral home fees and charges. We have lost several family members (80's old) recently and they will try to convince you, you NEED the ultra package, etc. They only have one shot at making money on each person....

    You need to examine your parents overall finances and help your mom out. Life insurance, pension, etc. There are a lot of little place money might be found, example - organizations like the NRA provide 10k life insurance for members. Check stuff out...

  24. #24
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    Too young for sure, My old boss just died last week. 50 years old, heart attack. This guy never went to a doctor, smoked, heavy drinker. He had mentioned not feeling well for quite a while. A simple trip to the doc may have saved his life. Guys, please get yourself checked out at least once a year.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muffinhead View Post
    Today, approximately 2 hours ago, I found out that my father suffered from a heart attack and died mountain biking. I am struck with grief and pain, and don't know how I'm going to cope with this.
    I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy, but when death comes knocking on your Dad's door at the age of 51, it's gotta be especially hard.
    Hang in there.

  26. #26
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    Sorry for your loss. Be strong, your family needs you.

  27. #27
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    Thank you for all of your sympathy, it really does mean something to me. And regarding finances, I am merely 16 years old and may not be the best decision maker at this time. Nevertheless, I will attempt to do my best for the betterment of the future of my close family.
    Will someday be living in Alaska with 2 pooches

  28. #28
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    Terrible News

    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.


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  29. #29
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    Stay strong and ride often.... If u get upset get on the bike and hammer those pedals

  30. #30
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    Oh Muffinhead. I am so sorry to hear that.

    It's been 5 1/2 years since my father fell off a cliff, on the ranch I grew up on and passed away. And to tell you the truth, you just learn to deal with it, because the hurt really never goes away. My dad was my hero and just writing this gets me all chocked up. My dad was getting pretty old and he was doing what he loved, taking care of his longhorn cattle. The last thing he would have wanted is to lay in a bed or hospital withering away till he died. My mother died of cancer over a course of five years. And honestly, I don't know which is worse. Passing suddenly or passing over a long period of time. With my mother I had the time to say the things I wanted to say and spend time with her, but she suffered greatly. With my father, they said he didn't even know what happened to him, it was so fast. But, I didn't get the time to say some things I would have liked to say or spend more time with him. And arriving at the ranch and learning of his passing was like a train hit me in the gut.

    Just remember that our parents are supposed to go before we do. Remember the good times and talk about it with anyone who will listen, that helps a lot. And remember, it just takes time for you to feel better about it. And, if you need to vent, use this thread. We are here to listen.
    Last edited by Mountain Cycle Shawn; 08-02-2013 at 08:13 PM.

  31. #31
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    Our condolences - and as others mentioned previously he went out doing something he enjoyed. I went through the extended hospital stay/trach/feeding tube bit with my mother several years ago and it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    Ride your favorite trail. Dad will be with you.

  32. #32
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    Condolences to you and your family. Try to choose to remember how your father lived, not how he died.
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  33. #33
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    My sincere condolences to you and your family. Its not easy losing a parent and I think its twice as hard when its sudden. Only time will heal you. I lost my pops 7 years ago to cancer. I miss him and think of him daily but I don't hurt as much. Keep yourself busy but don't forget to grieve. You'll need time for yourself but definitely spend time with others. Stay on your bike, that's the best therapy I can think of.

    Peace

  34. #34
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    My condolences and I'll just chime in with he died doing a hobby that he loved and that is a blessing in its self.
    Having seen a few family members recently die a slow death from cancer, I would much rather my number come up when I'm riding out in the woods.

  35. #35
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    Awfully sorry Muffinhead... I lost my dad two years ago. Prayers to you and your family.
    Godspeed....
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  36. #36
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    Our thoughts are with you Muff. I can't imagine.

  37. #37
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    Please accept my sincere condolences. Give yourself some time.
    I don't rattle.

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    I lost my dad when I was 13, and it was a tough time. There were no other male relatives in my family worth getting next to, so I missed out on the positive mentoring that should have taken place.

    Dude, promise me that YOU will think at least twice before you do EVERYTHING. Be honest with yourself, always, about the tough place you're in...its more than OK to admit that its a struggle. Look for guidance from people that honestly have YOUR, not THEIR best interest at heart...and it can be tough to tell at first. The ones that hound YOU to help may need something from you, but the ones that put their hand on your shoulder and are just "there" may be very useful to you.

    I didn't do so well as a kid and carry a few regrets. Make your dad proud tomorrow, but today you must mourn.

  39. #39
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    Sorry for the loss. Very scary stuff. My friend is laying in a hospital bed right now from a heart attack earlier today while we were out riding.

  40. #40
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    Truly sorry for your loss. My dad has had several heart attacks and suffers from heart disease. My message to everyone else out there is please pick up a copy of The China Study and, if nothing else, read it with an open mind. Words can't truly express how bad the western diet is for us, particularly in regard to meat and most animal proteins, and how eating a Vegan diet greatly reduces your risk of both heart attacks, cancer and such.

    While there is no 100% fool proof way to prevent such diseases, you'd be surprised how much you can control. My brother is a cardiologist at one of the most renowned centers in the world, and the things they've discovered regarding the link between animal proteins and heart attacks/deaths is appalling. The scary part is most Americans think they can (or will) protect themselves against heart disease by popping a pill such as Lipitor or such and go about their merry way eating anything they desire. The problem there is, while Lipitor (or similar drug) will indeed lower your cholesterol significantly, there is absolutely nothing out there to protect yourself against deadly cholesterol plaques that can silently rupture at any moment and kill you within minutes.

    If you remember Meet the Press' Tim Russert, he died in this fashion, even though he was on cholesterol lowering drugs and just weeks before his death was given a stress test (and given the all clear from his docs). This is very common and as others have mentioned, thanks to our abundant meat laden western diet, its not uncommon to hear of people in their early 40's and such that have died from heart attacks (or at least have already suffered through one).

    Again my condolences and hopefully this will be a wake up call for many of us pertaining to our health. Don't just listen to me...do your own research, take control of your health, and take preventative measures so that your loved ones won't have to grieve your death for many, many years to come. Simply mountain biking often while eating a typical diet won't come close to doing it; you must be far more proactive overall if you want to have peace of mind.

  41. #41
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    Stay strong.

  42. #42
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    Sorry to hear, bro. Keep your head up.

  43. #43
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    Mate im sorry for yours and your families loss.
    My dad broke his neck and died as a result when i was young, it was just him and i in the bush when it happened, mate, im here to tell you that you WILL cope with it as terrible and heart breaking as it feels now.
    The void he has left will always be there but you will rise above it for your mum and family and yourself,
    I can identify with your pain, shock and loss, just hang in there mate, be the rock for the family, it will seem a bit clearer all in good time, and all the power to you n the family.
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  44. #44
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    I am sorry for the loss sir. Keep close to your mother for she just lost the love of her life and she will need you more than anything. Do whatever she asks you to do even if you aren't in the up most of spirits. Keep sane and stay on your bike. Biking not only is a great workout, but a therapy tool, use it to your advantage. DO NOT LOUNGE AROUND FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF OR OTHERS. Be active and do what you are most passionate about. Dominate the world.

  45. #45
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    So sorry. I hope you can find some peace and strength despite everything that's happened.

  46. #46
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    Sorry for your loss Dude, hard pill to swallow at such a young age, it will either force you to grow up quickly and take responsibility on or to flake and run. Know that at least your Dad died doing something he loved instead of stuck in his car in traffic or at some boring cubicle shuffling papers. As has been said already, the whole won't be filled, you'll think of him often for years to come, mostly because you'll wonder what your relationship would have been like - it's good to remember.
    One day your life will flash before your eyes, will it be worth watching??

  47. #47
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    So sorry. Me thoughts/ heart are with you and your family.

  48. #48
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    sorry for your loss

  49. #49
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    Hello, I'm a bit of a lurker. I'm just getting back into mountain biking after a 14 year break. I'm 42 and the V.A. told me to get in better shape (high BP/colesterol) and I don't want to take meds. Diet and mountain biking I hope will take care of it. Sorry to hear about your loss. My dad died in March at 68 years of a stroke. I know what it feels like, miss my dad a lot. So I want to be fit and be around my kids. Hang in there, it does get easier.

  50. #50
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    Dude, I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, losing your father at such a young age...but take it to heart when I and others say leaving this life doing something you love is a way we all wish we could go.

    My dad lost his footing late one night in feb 2012, they originally thought it was a stroke. Turned out it was a brain tumor and for the next year he struggled with chemo and rehab, only to have the cancer spread and work its way further into his brain. He fought the big C every day, refusing to give up and I was never prouder of him. He fought it like a pitbull and refused to throw in the towel.

    He passed away in January of this year, and at 36, its been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I feel your pain. My prayers go out to you little man, stay strong. Keep your mom and your family close, because you never know when your number is up.

    My dad getting sick is what got me back into bikes after a 20 year break. Ripping the trails and kicking my ass back into shape has been the only thing that has kept me sane. If your dad loved to ride, get on your bike and go ride his favorite trails, he will be trailing you every time you get on the saddle. Keep crankin' and make him proud dude....he's watching.

  51. #51
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    Sorry MH. I lost my Dad to a heart attack when I was young too. It does get easier. Stay strong and as others have said be there for your mom and the rest of the family and let them be there for you. For me I was all of the sudden in a different role in the family and didn't realize the pressure I was under until many years later. Make sure you lean on others for support and keep biking.

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  52. #52
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    Sorry for your loss, stay strong and remember, he left
    doing something he loved.
    Prayers for you and the Family.
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  53. #53
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    Please try to take comfort in knowing that he passed doing something that made him feel good inside and out. That is the only way to go in my honest opinion. Very sorry to hear of your loss.

  54. #54
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    sorry for your loss as i can't even begin to fathom that loss. maybe to help cope, when the time is right, set up a group ride and a memorial at the trail. we have group rides for a couple of people that passed on a local trail. we ride the trail backwards at night, just a thought on how to keep the memory alive. best wishes to you & your family.

  55. #55
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    I'm sorry to hear about your loss MH.

    I know exactly how it feels - my dad passed away 19 days ago.
    It is an awful thing to get used to.

    There is no good way to go, but going while doing something you love must surely be better than wasting away in a hospital bed.

  56. #56
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    Bummer. At age 16 - it is difficult to wrap your brain around it.

    While the MTB folks support you 100% make sure you talk with your family about how you are feeling. My bother and I never talked about it after my dad passed away when he was 53. Jump ahead almost 20 years and there is still some unresolved guilt.

    The more you talk the more your consciousness can repackage your thoughts.
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  57. #57
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    I hate to read these kinds of things. I can't imagine what you're going through, and won't pretend to. I am terrified of the day that I hear those words. I can say, like others, to find some solace in knowing that he was enjoying life when it came to an early end. I am pretty certain that I heard about this passing via the local trail forum here in Indianapolis. Heart wrenching to hear.

    As others have said, when dealing with loss, it's ok to let it be something you think about. It is ok to feel sad, it is ok to talk to people about it. I lost a good friend 3 years ago at 27 years old to a stupid accident that could have been prevented, and had someone been there with him that knew how to use a car jack, wouldn't have killed him. I was out at the drag strip racing my car when it happened, and for months I thought that I should have been there helping him work on his car that night. I never let myself talk to people, and it got very hard. Don't fret, real friends will be available to listen to your pain, and hopefully find a way to help. When all else fails, the next step is to pick up your bike, go find some trails, and get inner peace through nature around you.

    May our fallen brother rest peacefully.

  58. #58
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    Terrible News

    Sorry for your loss man. Like many have said at least he died doing something awesome and you can remember him every time you ride. Keep venting on here if you need it. We are here for you.

  59. #59
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    Very sorry to hear about this bud. I'm close in age to you myself and can't even imagine going through something like this. The dean at my school passed away a week ago of a heart attack at 47. The whole school has taken it very hard as he was essentially what made the school "ours." This doesn't even compare to what I'm sure you are going through but you are strong and will get through it. If you're ever in doubt, ride your bike. Turn your phone off. Get away from it all and just clear your mind. Little by little, I'm sure you will get better and eventually be able to smile at the mere thought of your father. You had some great times together and cherish those memories...they will be the things that get you by. It's great to have such a large community such as this forum to support you in times like this and I'm proud to be a part of it.

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  60. #60
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    Muffinhead, I'm terribly sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how hard that must be at such a young age. My mom died at about the same age as your father, so I do know what it's like to get that news out of the blue and it's the last thing you could possibly ever expect to hear.

    Stay strong, dude. I'm wishing you and your family the best. Take the time right now to be with your family and begin coping with this loss, and when you're ready, get out there and shred that bike of yours and make your Dad proud.

  61. #61
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    prayers sent your way! I am so sorry for your loss!.

  62. #62
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    I don't know what to say. Man that's brutal. I'm really sorry for you kid.

    My only bit of advice is to not bury your feelings, nor should you allow others in your family to bury theirs. Obviously there's no schedule or time table to follow, healing and grieving will happen when it does.

    Stay strong for your mom, and keep clear of the booze and drugs as they will do far more harm long-term than the temporary escape they may provide now.

    Ride you bike!
    occasional cyclist

  63. #63
    RDI
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    Muffinhead I'm very sorry to hear; I hope you have very fond memories of your father. Talking with someone whom you trust is good; dealing with your own feelings helps you help others.

    Wish you all the best in dealing with this tragedy.

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muffinhead View Post
    Today, approximately 2 hours ago, I found out that my father suffered from a heart attack and died mountain biking. I am struck with grief and pain, and don't know how I'm going to cope with this.
    I'm sorry muffinhead. This morning my healthy 72 year old father went for surgery to have his herniated lumbar disc removed. Preop lab work showed a white blood count of 111. He's got acute monocytic leukemia. Prob only has a few months to live. I'm sharing your pain brother. I saw your post a few days ago and didn't know what to say then but I been thinking bout you and your dad. I'll pray for you and our fathers and me. I don't know what else to do.

    Keep pedaling,

    Tim

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