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Terrible News

6K views 63 replies 62 participants last post by  Jab70 
#1 ·
Today, approximately 2 hours ago, I found out that my father suffered from a heart attack and died mountain biking. I am struck with grief and pain, and don't know how I'm going to cope with this.
 
#54 ·
sorry for your loss as i can't even begin to fathom that loss. maybe to help cope, when the time is right, set up a group ride and a memorial at the trail. we have group rides for a couple of people that passed on a local trail. we ride the trail backwards at night, just a thought on how to keep the memory alive. best wishes to you & your family.
 
#56 ·
Bummer. At age 16 - it is difficult to wrap your brain around it.

While the MTB folks support you 100% make sure you talk with your family about how you are feeling. My bother and I never talked about it after my dad passed away when he was 53. Jump ahead almost 20 years and there is still some unresolved guilt.

The more you talk the more your consciousness can repackage your thoughts.
 
#57 ·
I hate to read these kinds of things. I can't imagine what you're going through, and won't pretend to. I am terrified of the day that I hear those words. I can say, like others, to find some solace in knowing that he was enjoying life when it came to an early end. I am pretty certain that I heard about this passing via the local trail forum here in Indianapolis. Heart wrenching to hear.

As others have said, when dealing with loss, it's ok to let it be something you think about. It is ok to feel sad, it is ok to talk to people about it. I lost a good friend 3 years ago at 27 years old to a stupid accident that could have been prevented, and had someone been there with him that knew how to use a car jack, wouldn't have killed him. I was out at the drag strip racing my car when it happened, and for months I thought that I should have been there helping him work on his car that night. I never let myself talk to people, and it got very hard. Don't fret, real friends will be available to listen to your pain, and hopefully find a way to help. When all else fails, the next step is to pick up your bike, go find some trails, and get inner peace through nature around you.

May our fallen brother rest peacefully.
 
#59 ·
Very sorry to hear about this bud. I'm close in age to you myself and can't even imagine going through something like this. The dean at my school passed away a week ago of a heart attack at 47. The whole school has taken it very hard as he was essentially what made the school "ours." This doesn't even compare to what I'm sure you are going through but you are strong and will get through it. If you're ever in doubt, ride your bike. Turn your phone off. Get away from it all and just clear your mind. Little by little, I'm sure you will get better and eventually be able to smile at the mere thought of your father. You had some great times together and cherish those memories...they will be the things that get you by. It's great to have such a large community such as this forum to support you in times like this and I'm proud to be a part of it.

Keep your head up!
Andy
 
#60 ·
Muffinhead, I'm terribly sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how hard that must be at such a young age. My mom died at about the same age as your father, so I do know what it's like to get that news out of the blue and it's the last thing you could possibly ever expect to hear.

Stay strong, dude. I'm wishing you and your family the best. Take the time right now to be with your family and begin coping with this loss, and when you're ready, get out there and shred that bike of yours and make your Dad proud.
 
#62 ·
I don't know what to say. Man that's brutal. I'm really sorry for you kid.

My only bit of advice is to not bury your feelings, nor should you allow others in your family to bury theirs. Obviously there's no schedule or time table to follow, healing and grieving will happen when it does.

Stay strong for your mom, and keep clear of the booze and drugs as they will do far more harm long-term than the temporary escape they may provide now.

Ride you bike!
 
#64 ·
I'm sorry muffinhead. This morning my healthy 72 year old father went for surgery to have his herniated lumbar disc removed. Preop lab work showed a white blood count of 111. He's got acute monocytic leukemia. Prob only has a few months to live. I'm sharing your pain brother. I saw your post a few days ago and didn't know what to say then but I been thinking bout you and your dad. I'll pray for you and our fathers and me. I don't know what else to do.

Keep pedaling,

Tim
 
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