There is an island in the western Atlantic where I live in self imposed exile with TurboB!tch and the alien cat. There are no mountains on this island – or hills. Fat bikes are mere boardwalk curiosities where road bikes and cruisers rule the land.
I have a mountain bike hidden in my car and sometimes I sneak over the bridge to ride in the land of the Sand King. There are no mountains and few hills where the Sand King rules. There are a few roots; ten at last count. I have still not found a rock but there are ample amounts of horse manure. You can ride at speed on trails that twist and turn through scrub pines and loose sand threatens to dismount you at every corner.
Last weekend I mounted an expedition to the land of roots and rocks. It was a drive of over 100 miles but would reveal a day of surprises. It was no surprise that I missed the land of roots and rocks. I found I also missed the hills. The climbs and the fast drops brought back something lacking from my riding. I was surprised at how happy I was to have my vision blurred by sweat. I ventured into an area not often ridden. After one long and technical climb, I heard the voice of a child. Rounding the next bend, hands on my brakes, I came upon a lad of, oh, maybe five. He looked like the “Butterfly” boy with a Superman t-shirt. He had just climbed a long hill with his father and was totally surprised to find someone on a bike in a brightly colored shirt saying hello to him. His smile just grew and grew.
I rode further down the trail where the boy’s father waited and he said he didn’t think anyone could ride this trail. I’m sometimes surprised that I can ride this trail. We talked a bit and I continued to climb. Cresting the hill, I was rewarded by a long downhill.
Before I go on, I have a riddle for you. What goes from white to tan to green to red in an instant?
Easy! A girl with tan panties and green shorts taking a leak in the deep woods when surprised by a man on a mountain bike where people on mountain bikes should not be able to ride.
I didn’t stop. There was no reason to. Passing I remarked “today is full of surprises.” She replied, “It certainly is.”
I returned to my island in the western Atlantic with TurboB!tch and the alien cat after that, happy with a day of surprises.
Mtbr's 2016 Winter Biking GearReviews and Roundups
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