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  1. #1
    Singletrackmac
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    Stupid bike names

    Just checking out craigslist, looking for an old trek 8000 circa '00 to '02 and came across a bike with a not so well thought out name, and another that didn't sound mountain bike tough.

    First, the Giant Butte. I get the thought that one might mountain bike on top of a butte, but stick the word giant in front of butte and your now riding around on a giant bootay.

    Stupid bike names-image.jpg

    The other was the Lapierre Zesty. Looks like a sick bike, but really, zesty? The first thing that comes to mind when I here the word zesty is a Fresca, not a tough mountain conquering machine.

    Stupid bike names-image.jpg

    Any other stupid bike names out their?
    Get out of the gutter and onto the mountain top.

    "I only had like two winekills captain buzzcooler"

  2. #2
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    Singletrack Mack?

  3. #3
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    "Charge Cooker Maxi" has always bugged me. Maybe it has some meaning in the UK.

    Cooker Maxi

  4. #4
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    Giant Revolt

  5. #5
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    Giant Iguana.

    Actually, I think that was a pretty cool name because you got to tell people you had a giant iguana. The problem wasn't the model name but the company name. Now I have a giant trance in my bedroom. That doesn't say much about me, does it?

  6. #6
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    I think trek has some pretty stupid names. 8700....creative.

  7. #7
    rebmem rbtm
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    Giant Boulder... well, pretty much any Giant model, but always thought the Boulder was funny

  8. #8
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    Cove has bikes called (clutches pearls) G-Spot and the Foreplay (gasp!), which all seems a bit adolescent, but whatever. They also have the Shocker, which, after Foreplay and G-Spot, doesn't seem that surprising.

    And Stumpjumper? Hmmmm.

    Trek's women's mountain bike line is called Lush, which has some nice connotations but also refers to a woman alcoholic, so I'd call that a miss.

    Loved my Proflex back in the day. Proflex identified models with numbers: 854, 855, 856, etc. Proflex is long gone, but the brand name + model numbers live on as handy password combinations.
    "Cut my pie into four pieces. I don't think I could eat eight." Yogi Berra

  9. #9
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    Stupid bike names-img_2263-768x1024-.jpg

    Even better if you strategically place the handlebar to hide the "e"
    I'm looking forward to regretting this.......

  10. #10
    Dirt Bound
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    Huffy...

  11. #11
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    Tranny, Mojo and all the sexual innuendo names out there. What are we, 10?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by the-one1 View Post
    Tranny, Mojo and all the sexual innuendo names out there. What are we, 10?
    I never thought that Mojo had a particularly sexual connotation, but I do feel like a 10 year old when I ride mine ;-)

  13. #13
    Singletrackmac
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    Quote Originally Posted by ridingthebuff View Post
    Singletrack Mack?
    Had that one coming

    Quote Originally Posted by Grimgrin View Post
    I think trek has some pretty stupid names. 8700....creative.
    Ya, the old aluminum line was just called "aluminum" and then a number. Must of spent weeks coming up with that name.

    Quote Originally Posted by June Bug View Post
    Loved my Proflex back in the day. Proflex identified models with numbers: 854, 855, 856, etc. Proflex is long gone, but the brand name + model numbers live on as handy password combinations.
    The word "flex" was not too smart. Flex is not something I want in a mtb. Although, I still own two proflex's. Don't ride them much anymore, but just can't part with them, plus the linkage forks look cool.
    Get out of the gutter and onto the mountain top.

    "I only had like two winekills captain buzzcooler"

  14. #14
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    I think a simple number makes more sense then a meaningless name.

    Pivot 429? Pretty simple, 29" wheels with 4" travel.
    BMW 320? 3 series with 2.0 liter engine.
    Toyota Camry? What the heck is a Camry?

    Anyway, you get my drift. We spend way too much on names that mean nothing.

  15. #15
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    Any half-baked bike company will want to defend its legal ownership of and equity in a product name. This plays into unique and seemingly whacky nomenclature choices.

  16. #16
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    Thank you. That is the most intelligent reason for various bike names I've seen and it is so obvious that all I can say is "duh, why was I trying to over think this?"

    Which nicely gets us back to the OP's topic of stupid bike names.

  17. #17
    Retro on Steroids
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    I pointed out the "Giant Butte" stupidity in my column in Bicycling magazine something like 25 years ago.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rev Bubba View Post
    I think a simple number makes more sense then a meaningless name.

    Pivot 429? Pretty simple, 29" wheels with 4" travel.
    BMW 320? 3 series with 2.0 liter engine.
    Toyota Camry? What the heck is a Camry?

    Anyway, you get my drift. We spend way too much on names that mean nothing.
    Stupid when they stray though. For example: BMW's new 328i... 2.0L engine not 2.8 as the name would imply.

    As for bike names for some reason the fact that there is only one "S" in Pivot's LES has always bothered me. Not particularly fond of the name anyway but just call it PIVOT-LESS if you want to. Don't drop an S. That's dumb.

  19. #19
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    Re: ProFlex
    Quote Originally Posted by singletrackmack View Post
    The word "flex" was not too smart. Flex is not something I want in a mtb. Although, I still own two proflex's. Don't ride them much anymore, but just can't part with them, plus the linkage forks look cool.
    Well, ProFlex was way way early in the full suspension scene, so they wanted you to know that the suspension, you know, FLEXED! They were great bikes for the times, although I replaced the Girvin fork w/ a regular 80 mm travel fork (manitou?), and it was definitely an improvement.
    "Cut my pie into four pieces. I don't think I could eat eight." Yogi Berra

  20. #20
    Don't Tread on Me
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    I agree Giant has some lame names. But they also have a few winning names such as Glory and Reign. Trance and XTC are cool names too.
    Consciousness, that annoying time between bike rides.

  21. #21
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    We had a lot of fun back in those days at the Giant dealership. (I worked there). That bike in the picture was always written up on the sales and repair tags as the giant purple butt.
    Of course also asking customers what they fed their Giant Iguana, or if they walk it on a leash (we were in a city), or how did it get so big...
    I know, hardy harr hard but it was funny back then.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by 7daysaweek View Post
    ...for some reason the fact that there is only one "S" in Pivot's LES has always bothered me. Not particularly fond of the name anyway but just call it PIVOT-LESS if you want to. Don't drop an S. That's dumb.
    Seriously, don't those writers know how to spell? Don't they know LES is a Launch Entry Suit? Or the guy in Primus? Absolutely roiling.

  23. #23
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    I have a Shogun Prairie Breaker from the 80's... wait, that name is awesome.

  24. #24
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    Kona had lots of stupid names. I like them though. Stinky. Ku, Dew, Stuff, Sex, Hot. lots more.

  25. #25
    So Stoked!
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    Devinci Johnson


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